Judy grasswire wants to have a clambake

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/115753543

Oh my.

One of those things to which franksolich has never gone, as once I put something into the stomach, I want it to come out the regular and usual way.

grasswire (43,252 posts)    Tue Jun 23, 2015, 11:31 PM

Does anyone here do a clambake for a group?
 
We are thinking of that for family beach gathering at my cousin's beach house. Would like to do a New England style bake because we are celebrating our Connecticut and Long Island ancestors. I see that Martha Stewart recommends making individual parcels in cheesecloth for steaming and easy serving.

Any hints?

The South Dakota Jayhawk, who hasn't been around for a while:

JayhawkSD (1,804 posts)    Wed Jun 24, 2015, 12:59 AM

1. For heaven's sake don't do packets.
 
The whole idea of a clambake is to let all of the various items cook together so that flavors mingle. Doing Martha Stewart's silly packet thing will be neat and tidy and will utterly defeat the purpose of doing a clambake.

Wikipedia has a pretty good description. The specific items are relatively unimportant, it is the general method which matters, and even that is fairly imprecise. 

Galileo126 (936 posts)    Wed Jun 24, 2015, 12:11 PM

2. I agree with JayHawk (above)
 
Everything should be cooked together, minding of course the cooking times of each component (what goes in first...last, etc.)

Martha Stewart is still stuck on Emily Post's view of dining etiquette. Clambakes, like crab boils and crawfish boils, should be messy - and fun!!

Ideally, clambakes are done over large areas of coals and hot rocks with seaweed and burlap as covers to keep the steam in. But then again, only folks who live near the coast will have access to large amounts of seaweed.

Naw, just cook everything in large pots, bring the pots to the outdoor picnic table, and start it dishing out to everyone. Make sure to provide things (large bowls, etc) for shells, corn cobs, 10,000 dirty napkins, and other waste.

Most of all - have fun!! Best of luck, grasswire!

<<<has never found anything wrong with Emily Post's version of dining etiquette.

People are human beings, not pigs.

pinto (106,669 posts)    Wed Jun 24, 2015, 12:23 PM

3. I grew up with the traditional clambake mentined. Layered seaweed, shellfish, over red hot rocks.
 
Final layer of seaweed covered with soaked burlap. We used sand to seal the edges of the burlap all around. Usually added corn on the cob to the shellfish.

If you want to do a boil, suggest using the largest pot you can handle and using seawater, not salted tap water. Have a great one!

grasswire (43,252 posts)    Wed Jun 24, 2015, 02:27 PM

4. well, we will be at my cousin's beach house....
 
....but it's on a bluff about 40 feet above the beach, so I think we will be doing it on the deck in giant pots. We should be able to get seaweed, but actually now clams might be a problem because of the warm weather and the bacteria that brings. Currently the local beaches are closed because of that. And we sure don't want to buy non-local clams. So we may have to shelve the idea for another time unless that improves in the next three weeks.

Thanks everyone for the comments about Martha Stewart's packets. Good advice.

How about just tossing some hamburgers on a grill?

Cleaner, quicker, cheaper.  Healthier.

[Big Dog]

The pinto-beaner primitive

If you want to do a boil, suggest using the largest pot you can handle and using seawater, not salted tap water. Have a great one!

Don't mind the empty crack vials, pieces of rotted fish flesh, and assorted trash from the local garbage scows.

And while you're at it, Judy, have each of your male guests take a piss in the pot. Can't hurt.

[Carl]

Would like to do a New England style bake because we are celebrating our Connecticut and Long Island ancestors.

I bet they were slave owners.
Racist.

[Delmar]

grasswire (43,252 posts)    Tue Jun 23, 2015, 11:31 PM

Does anyone here do a clambake for a group?

Do they ever!

The Klanbake, an old democrat party tradition.

The 1924 Democratic National Convention, also called the Klanbake,[1] held at the Madison Square Garden in New York City from June 24 to July 9, 1924, took a record 103 ballots to nominate a presidential candidate. It was the longest continuously running convention in United States political history. It was the first major party national convention that saw the name of a woman, Lena Springs, placed in nomination for the office of Vice President. It was also known for the strong influence of the Ku Klux Klan. John W. Davis, initially an outsider, eventually won the presidential nomination as a compromise candidate following a virtual war of attrition between front-runners William Gibbs McAdoo and Al Smith.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1924_Democratic_National_Convention

edited to add that I am disgusted by Judy's racist code word dog whistle.

[Ptarmigan]

Do they ever!

The Klanbake, an old democrat party tradition.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1924_Democratic_National_Convention

edited to add that I am disgusted by Judy's racist code word dog whistle.

The KKK is just a front group for the Democrats.

[miskie]

Take my advice...

If you don't know what you are doing when making a clambake (and its obvious you don't) then don't do it at all. You WILL ruin the meal. - So, either go with a clamboil, or better yet, steamed clams if you can find a great, big steamer pot you can toss everything into.

Do not use seawater or seaweed. Doing so is just dumb. The clams as well as other various meats are salty enough as is. If you must, add some sea salt ( from a supermarket, not the ocean ) to the boiling water.

ETA --

Steamer Pot. with easy to follow directions printed right on it !

Water in the bottom pan. Toss everything edible into the steamer - clams and any pork products on the bottom, vegetables on the top. Place it on your stove and boil it until the onions and potatoes on the top seem finished.

[franksolich]

Take my advice...

If you don't know what you are doing when making a clambake (and its obvious you don't) then don't do it at all. You WILL ruin the meal. - So, either go with a clamboil, or better yet, steamed clams if you can find a great, big steamer pot you can toss everything into.

Do not use seawater or seaweed. Doing so is just dumb. The clams as well as other various meats are salty enough as is. If you must, add some sea salt ( from a supermarket, not the ocean ) to the boiling water.

Excuse my total ignorance on the subject, but clams aren't anything that ever inspired my interest.

As old as I am, not even for ten seconds in this whole entire life, have I paid attention to clams.

Anyway.

I was always under the impression clams were an east coast phenomenon, that maybe clams don't even exist on the west coast.  An Atlantic phenomenon, not a Pacific one.  I've never in my life heard of anyone from California or Oregon or Washington doing clams; they've always been people from New England down to North Carolina or something.

So my impression is we've got all these Oregonians, descendants of Judy grasswire, wanting to be hip, cool, trendy, with it, "eastern," getting the clams at the grocery store.

[miskie]

Excuse my total ignorance on the subject, but clams aren't anything that ever inspired my interest.

As old as I am, not even for ten seconds in this whole entire life, have I paid attention to clams.

Anyway.

I was always under the impression clams were an east coast phenomenon, that maybe clams don't even exist on the west coast.  An Atlantic phenomenon, not a Pacific one.  I've never in my life heard of anyone from California or Oregon or Washington doing clams; they've always been people from New England down to North Carolina or something.

So my impression is we've got all these Oregonians, descendants of Judy grasswire, wanting to be hip, cool, trendy, with it, "eastern," getting the clams at the grocery store.

There are clams available on the west coast - however, most are entirely different breeds then what come out of the Atlantic. I took a moment to review state rules involving clam harvesting, and learned Washington and Oregon have rules similar to most New England states regarding harvesting - with considerably lower limits. California is ridiculous in their restrictions. Massachusetts limits are give or take 10 quarts whereas west coast limits are based on numbers - about 3 dozen in OR and WA, and 10 in CA).  I've also learned that the Softshell Clam (what is common to New England) has been introduced to the west coast and they now live among the other species native to the Pacific.   

[franksolich]

Thank you, sir!  I now know about eight times as much as I did before, about clams.

Question, however.

I've also learned that the Softshell Clam (what is common to New England) has been introduced to the west coast and they now live among the other species native to the Pacific.

^^^is this a good idea?  Has anyone trying to play God ever thought there might be a reason that sort of clam never existed on the west coast, and that it'd be a good idea to leave it alone? 

I mean, look at what happened to Australia, after some damn fool took a couple of rabbits there.

Maybe I'm being paranoid, but if some rectal aperture dares introduce a fish alien to the waters here, the county sheriff and other law enforcement comes down hard.

[SSG Snuggle Bunny]

Is "clambake" some euphemism for a bunch of craggy old lesbians getting together?

[DUmpsterDiver]

She should stick with the Bearded Clam bake at 98.6 degrees F.

[BlueStateSaint]

She should stick with the Bearded Clam bake at 98.6 degrees F.

Doesn't that yield yeast at the DUmp?

[miskie]

^^^is this a good idea?  Has anyone trying to play God ever thought there might be a reason that sort of clam never existed on the west coast, and that it'd be a good idea to leave it alone? 

I mean, look at what happened to Australia, after some damn fool took a couple of rabbits there.

Maybe I'm being paranoid, but if some rectal aperture dares introduce a fish alien to the waters here, the county sheriff and other law enforcement comes down hard.

I'm not certain on the wisdom behind it either. There are far too many examples of introduced/invasive species resulting in mayhem to ignore.

[tuolumnejim]

On the plus side this isn't about the lesfest I was thinking it was.

[GOBUCKS]

To really learn about clambakes, grasswipe Judy should ask the ladies of the Ku Klux Klam.

Since the homeless grasswipe selects her cuisine from various suburban Portland dumpsters, she's not likely to be an expert one shellfish.

The Ku Klux Klams have made clam concerns their life's work.

[diesel driver]

grasswire (43,252 posts)    Wed Jun 24, 2015, 02:27 PM

4. well, we will be at my cousin's beach house....
 
....but it's on a bluff about 40 feet above the beach, (lazy bitch) so I think we will be doing it on the deck in giant pots. We should be able to get seaweed, but actually now clams might be a problem because of the warm weather and the bacteria that brings. Currently the local beaches are closed because of that. And we sure don't want to buy non-local clams. So we may have to shelve the idea for another time unless that improves in the next three weeks.

DUmmie Judy just posted her excuse if this "cluster foxtrot" turns into a "cluster foxtrot":  blame it on "Gorebull Warming^tm.

[Karin]

Good one, Delmar, about the democrat convention klanbake.