Proglodytes really, REALLY want satire to be true

[SSG Snuggle Bunny]

Katashi_itto (6,798 posts)

Republicans More Dangerous Than ISIS, According to NSA Super-Computer

In 2013, the NSA started building a $3.6 billion super computer with the goal of predicting the moves of terrorist groups before those groups themselves knew what they were going to do. And after eight hours of operation, that super computer has finally tallied the results… but Republicans aren’t going to like what the machine has to say.

According to the computer, named “Providentia” after the Roman goddess of forethought, It isn’t ISIS that poses the greatest threat to Americans, nor is it another terrorist group, like Al Qaeda. It isn’t another country, like Russia, China, Iran, or North Korea, either. According to Providentia, the biggest threat to America is a bit closer to home… the Republican party.

On Monday, Providentia was tasked with completing its first-ever in-depth analysis, with the subject “The Top Ten Threats To The United States.” From there, the super computer calculated that the Republican Party was America’s worst threat, based on countless factors, and further reported that if Republicans win the White House in 2016, or if they manage to pick up more seats in the House or Senate, the results would be “catastrophic.”

“When we turned this machine on, none of us were expecting this to turn out the way it did,” says Mike Jacobs, the NSA’s chief researcher on the Providentia project and a self-described Republican. “It was pretty shocking, for sure. But it operated within its parameters precisely how it was supposed to. There wasn’t any partisan manipulation here. This just happens to be the result of the data crunched.”

- See more at: http://nationalreport.net/republicans-dangerous-isis-according-nsa-super-computer/#sthash.CX8JYYd0.dpuf

National Report = "satire"

TexasProgresive (6,055 posts)

2. This part is true:"Republicans More Dangerous Than ISIS"
 
This part is satire: "According to NSA Super-Computer"

dgibby (8,861 posts)

3. Don't need a supercomputer to know that.
 
I've asked the SPLC to declare them a hate group for the past 3 or 4 years. Nothing more dangerous than zealots in a cult.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026659785

[Carl]

dgibby (8,861 posts)

3. Don't need a supercomputer to know that.
 
I've asked the SPLC to declare them a hate group for the past 3 or 4 years. Nothing more dangerous than zealots in a cult.

That would end the gloBULL warming issue.

[txradioguy]

National Report?   

That place makes Media Matters look fair and objective.

[jukin]

dgibby (8,861 posts)

3. Don't need a supercomputer to know that.
 
I've asked the SPLC to declare them a hate group for the past 3 or 4 years. Nothing more dangerous than zealots in a cult.

That is either a magnificent mole post or WHOA!!!

[obumazombie]

Zealots in a cult ?
Sound a lot like muzzies,
and quite a bit like libs.