Author Topic: Explanation of why most Texans are Republicans  (Read 1744 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline SaintLouieWoman

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2024
  • Reputation: +500/-6
Explanation of why most Texans are Republicans
« on: February 05, 2015, 10:42:03 AM »
 Creation

When God created the world for humankind to prosper & multiply,

He decided to give each group two (2) virtues.
 
He made the Japanese patient & hardworking

He made the Germans tenacious & hard-headed
 
He made the Americans organized & pragmatic

And so on.
 
When God considered Texans, He told the record-keeping angel "Texans are going to be intelligent, honest, & democrats". When God finished creating the world the angel noticed that God had given every group two (2) virtues except the Texans, who had received three (3).The angel thought that this would give the Texans an unfair advantage over the other groups of human beings. He pointed this out to God. God said, "Oh, my goodness, you are certainly right but since virtues given by God cannot be changed I shall do the following:
 
From now on Texans will keep three (3) virtues, however, they can only use two (2) at a time.
 
"This explains why a Texan, who is a democrat & honest, cannot be intelligent, one who is intelligent & democrat, cannot be honest & one who intelligent & honest can never be a DEMOCRAT! This is why most Texans are REPUBLICANS!

 :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)


Offline obumazombie

  • Siege engine to lib fortresses
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 21814
  • Reputation: +1661/-578
  • Last of the great minorities
Re: Explanation of why most Texans are Republicans
« Reply #1 on: February 05, 2015, 12:24:19 PM »
Heh !
Now we know about Texans.
Tell us now about Saint Louisians  !!
There were only two options for gender. At last count there are at least 12, according to libs. By that standard, I'm a male lesbian.

Offline FiddyBeowulf

  • "Its on, its off, its on, its off." "That is called blinking, boys."
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5271
  • Reputation: +523/-34
Re: Explanation of why most Texans are Republicans
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2015, 08:47:52 AM »
Creation

When God created the world for humankind to prosper & multiply,

He decided to give each group two (2) virtues.
 
He made the Japanese patient & hardworking

He made the Germans tenacious & hard-headed
 
He made the Americans organized & pragmatic

And so on.
 
When God considered Texans, He told the record-keeping angel "Texans are going to be intelligent, honest, & democrats". When God finished creating the world the angel noticed that God had given every group two (2) virtues except the Texans, who had received three (3).The angel thought that this would give the Texans an unfair advantage over the other groups of human beings. He pointed this out to God. God said, "Oh, my goodness, you are certainly right but since virtues given by God cannot be changed I shall do the following:
 
From now on Texans will keep three (3) virtues, however, they can only use two (2) at a time.
 
"This explains why a Texan, who is a democrat & honest, cannot be intelligent, one who is intelligent & democrat, cannot be honest & one who intelligent & honest can never be a DEMOCRAT! This is why most Texans are REPUBLICANS!

 :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)


Finally, an answer to how Shelia Jackson Lee keeps getting re-elected.
Fire...BAD!!! - John Fetterman


The policies that are indorsed by this party, that they backer of which are much of the 1 percent, causes a social structure much like the one back before the Revolution.

-Words of wisdom from Lady Freedom Returns

"Arguing with liberals...it's like playing chess with a pigeon; no matter how good I am at chess, the pigeon is just going to knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious." -- Anonymous

"A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat." - P. J. O'Rourke