The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on December 15, 2014, 04:00:09 PM
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/11515547
Oh my.
Tobin S. (6,969 posts) Sun Dec 14, 2014, 07:50 PM
****ing family issues during the holidays
I have a sister who is twelve years younger than me. Our parents made huge mistakes with us when we were growing up. I've made my peace with it, but my sister has not.
There was an issue with her and my dad this evening while we were having an early Christmas celebration. It pretty much ruined the whole deal. Many tears are being shed this evening.
My sister needs a talk therapist in the worst way. She cannot afford one. Her insurance does not adequately cover it. I wish there was something I could do. I had a conversation with her about it this evening and I've never felt so helpless.
elleng (51,856 posts) Sun Dec 14, 2014, 08:23 PM
1. I'm so sorry to hear this, Tobin.
I know something(s) about bad family relations, as they exist between my 2 daughters. The younger doesn't want to speak with the older, who emotionally bullied her for years, and they both have babies who, of course, haven't met. 200 miles apart anyway. Things are relatively quiet now. but I know they both think about it. Their father, estranged from me. passed 1+ years ago, so can be of no help. Not sure he could have been if he'd survived, as he was always against therapy, which the older REALLY needs, imo.
I learned to be quiet about this stuff, and listen to what they think and feel.
^^^the husband-hating primitive, even though he's dead.
In life, he gave her everything she asked for, catered to her every whim, loved her to bits, just like Big Mo's soon-to-be-ex-husband did her, but the more he did for her, the more she hated him.
CaliforniaPeggy (112,680 posts) Sun Dec 14, 2014, 08:28 PM
2. I'm so sorry, my dear Tobin...
The holidays are supposed to be happy times, and sometimes the pressure of "supposed to" can make things worse.
I remember a long time ago when I needed such a therapist, and a friend told me about a mental health clinic where people who were becoming marriage and family therapists did talk therapy. But the cool thing was the fees were on a sliding scale. You paid what you could afford to pay. This was because the therapists were students nearing the end of their training, and were working under the supervision of licensed therapists. It was a great setup.
There might be such a place near your sister. I don't know how you go about finding such a place, I'm sorry to say.
I hope she can get some help.
mopinko (42,701 posts) Mon Dec 15, 2014, 12:12 AM
NOMINATED FOR TOP DUmmies of 2014
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5. ugh. gonna be a tough one around here, too.
i almost have the nerve to go to my sister's for an early xmas. havent been in a while, but with so much going on, and after a ****ing lonely thanksgiving, i really want to go. got to see one of the nephews a while ago, and it's the kids i miss. my sisters can go.....
i dread who i will run into, i sure hope my middle daughter was not planning on coming. tho i doubt she will if i do.
havent spoken to her since the divorce thing started, and not looking forward to it. she is really seeing the whole thing through a lens of unacknowledged malfunction.
so sucked into the drama.
only really talking to one of the 4 kids.
best of luck w your sister. does she want to see someone? do you talk to her often? is her life ok?
i just want to hibernate. pretend it isnt happening.
so many shake ups.
i know one thing about the holidays, tho. i am gonna be soooooooooooooo glad to see a new year.
<<<will be happy, nay, ecstatic, to greet January 3, 2015.
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I have 2 sisters, one older, one younger. The older one and her husband are good as gold, the younger one and .....well they probably vote democrat.
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One of my younger brothers is a brainwashed socialist. It's so bad that he spreads his propaganda to impressionable young minds through teaching. He loves to try to talk about it during the holidays, but he's just as ridiculous as the worst primitive on the island.
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Primitive Mom threatens DIVORCE over Fathers desire to have their recent newborn Son circumcised . :popcorn:
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I have family of all political stripes, from to the left of Stalin to pretty much a racist (ironic because she's half Cherokee). I have one sister who's lived on welfare all her life because she managed to get her ass on disability from a car accident that had no lasting impact whatsoever. Thus, she's been able to raise her daughter courtesy of the American taxpayer. However, she's done an excellent job raising my niece who is now in chef's school.
I have another sister who gets food stamps because her low life psychopath husband left her with 6 kids. She never worked outside the home and homeschooled her children who are now aged 19 to 8. She had little skills but she found a very good job as a caretaker for an elderly couple and makes enough money she was able to have her food stamps significantly reduced. Both are family and I love them dearly.
My BIL is the biggest moonbat I've ever met and the two of us have fun sparring over politics and we have the same sense of humor. We never argue over dinner but save it for after when everyone is doing their thing and we've had a pitcher of my margaritas. I absolutely adore him and named my youngest son after him. He's totally against "Bush's" wars but proudly wears his Marine Uncle t-shirt because he loves my son. When I met him he was growing pot in Humboldt County and my oldest son thought he had trees hanging from his ceiling (I was in college and a liberal so growing pot wasn't an issue for me then).
One of my brothers is gay and no one from any side of the political spectrum gives a flying rat's ass. We both grew up loving roller derby. We'd play it in the carport most everyday. He was better than I was and ended up with my butt on the concrete more times than I can count. I seriously thought about strapping a pillow around me but the one time I tried it, it seriously tampered with my ability to skate. We couldn't wait for the county fair so we could see Ann Calvello and Joanie Weston go head to head. My favorite was Peanuts (Carol Meyer) because she was small like me.
I never consider saying anything controversial to the Mexican side of my family when they've been drinking. You've never seen a mean drunk like my stepmother. However, all of us have shared memories that trump any differences we have. I don't know why these idiots have so many problems with family.
Cindie
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I have family of all political stripes, from to the left of Stalin to pretty much a racist (ironic because she's half Cherokee). I have one sister who's lived on welfare all her life because she managed to get her ass on disability from a car accident that had no lasting impact whatsoever. Thus, she's been able to raise her daughter courtesy of the American taxpayer. However, she's done an excellent job raising my niece who is now in chef's school.
I have another sister who gets food stamps because her low life psychopath husband left her with 6 kids. She never worked outside the home and homeschooled her children who are now aged 19 to 8. She had little skills but she found a very good job as a caretaker for an elderly couple and makes enough money she was able to have her food stamps significantly reduced. Both are family and I love them dearly.
My BIL is the biggest moonbat I've ever met and the two of us have fun sparring over politics and we have the same sense of humor. We never argue over dinner but save it for after when everyone is doing their thing and we've had a pitcher of my margaritas. I absolutely adore him and named my youngest son after him. He's totally against "Bush's" wars but proudly wears his Marine Uncle t-shirt because he loves my son. When I met him he was growing pot in Humboldt County and my oldest son thought he had trees hanging from his ceiling (I was in college and a liberal so growing pot wasn't an issue for me then).
One of my brothers is gay and no one from any side of the political spectrum gives a flying rat's ass. We both grew up loving roller derby. We'd play it in the carport most everyday. He was better than I was and ended up with my butt on the concrete more times than I can count. I seriously thought about strapping a pillow around me but the one time I tried it, it seriously tampered with my ability to skate. We couldn't wait for the county fair so we could see Ann Calvello and Joanie Weston go head to head. My favorite was Peanuts (Carol Meyer) because she was small like me.
I never consider saying anything controversial to the Mexican side of my family when they've been drinking. You've never seen a mean drunk like my stepmother. However, all of us have shared memories that trump any differences we have. I don't know why these idiots have so many problems with family.
Cindie
Amen sister, amen
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DUmmy Tobin S. has been a mainstay of the DUmp's loonybin since its inception.
He's as crazy as a shithouse rat.
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When a DUmmie starts a thread looking for some sympathy I can't tell if the repliers think they are sympathizing by relating their own experiences, or if they are spring loaded to making everything about them.
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When a DUmmie starts a thread looking for some sympathy I can't tell if the repliers think they are sympathizing by relating their own experiences, or if they are spring loaded to making everything about them.
Yes.