The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on November 28, 2014, 08:32:28 PM

Title: happy retirement to the big guy, Omaha Steve!
Post by: franksolich on November 28, 2014, 08:32:28 PM
As most here know, tomorrow, Saturday November 29, is the big guy's last day at work, after which he rides off into the sunset; one hopes it doesn't break the horse's back.

A long, long, and felicious retirement, Steve!

Try to not be too much of a burden for poor dear Marta, and here's hoping you the best as you watch your grandchildren over the coming years thrive and grow!

Others are free to add their own sincere good wishes to the big guy.
Title: Re: happy retirement to the big guy, Omaha Steve!
Post by: Carl on November 28, 2014, 08:54:39 PM
I sincerely hope Steve soon enjoys his eternity in Gods BBQ pit!  :cheersmate:
Title: Re: happy retirement to the big guy, Omaha Steve!
Post by: Vagabond on November 28, 2014, 10:08:54 PM
Steve, we know you read here. 

I won't attack you right now, even though we disagree.

Think about your grandkids and how much you enjoy them and how much they enjoy you.

Make your retirement something besides sitting in a chair, watching cable news, and bitching about life on DU.  Get out and really exercise every day.  Find a charity that you think is worth your while and put in at least twenty hours a week.  Find a hobby that you never had the time for and do that.

Otherwise, you won't be enjoying those grandkids for long.
Title: Re: happy retirement to the big guy, Omaha Steve!
Post by: franksolich on November 28, 2014, 10:15:39 PM
Make your retirement something besides sitting in a chair, watching cable news, and bitching about life on DU.  Get out and really exercise every day.....

Otherwise, you won't be enjoying those grandkids for long.

Oh now, the wife and kids are probably doing some late Friday night shopping right now, picking up treadmills and stationary bicycles and weights and gym shorts and other exercise stuff for the big guy, so he'll get into shape.
Title: Re: happy retirement to the big guy, Omaha Steve!
Post by: BattleHymn on November 28, 2014, 10:41:22 PM
Oh now, the wife and kids are probably doing some late Friday night shopping right now, picking up treadmills and stationary bicycles and weights and gym shorts and other exercise stuff for the big guy, so he'll get into shape.

A guy Steve's size needs to stay away from gym shorts.  Full-length sweats should be mandatory for someone of his girth. 
Title: Re: happy retirement to the big guy, Omaha Steve!
Post by: franksolich on November 28, 2014, 10:45:00 PM
A guy Steve's size needs to stay away from gym shorts.  Full-length sweats should be mandatory for someone of his girth.

You know, I have confidence in the big guy.

We're fellow Nebraskans, and so I know how we are.

The big guy's got it in him; all he needs to do is "trigger" it, and by this time next year, he'll be down to a svelte 180 pounds with a 34" waistline, having dropped about 300 pounds and twenty inches.

He has it in him; he can do it.
Title: Re: happy retirement to the big guy, Omaha Steve!
Post by: fatboy on November 28, 2014, 11:58:02 PM
My concern is that the Big Guy will loose interest in reporting on all things labor related. Such a public service.
Title: Re: happy retirement to the big guy, Omaha Steve!
Post by: Chris_ on November 29, 2014, 12:02:44 AM
My concern is that the Big Guy will loose interest in reporting on all things labor related. Such a public service.
With the chance to have a section of some nameless internet forum named after him?  No way.
Title: Re: happy retirement to the big guy, Omaha Steve!
Post by: GOBUCKS on November 29, 2014, 01:11:04 AM
I just hope the Big Guy keeps posting daily right through to the bitter end.

Maybe he could reminisce about his days fishing used condoms out of the incoming Omaha sewage, or what it was like getting a hug on with the Ditch Bitch, or maybe interesting tales from his many election campaigns.

He could start a discussion on his strange attraction to girls' high school basketball, or why he persists in flooding the DUmp with "cute puppy" stories.

He'll probably do none of that, because it would help the DUmp's entertainment value.

He doesn't want to do any favors for the DUmp, because he knows within a couple of weeks after he's gone, none of the DUmmies will remember he ever existed.
Title: Re: happy retirement to the big guy, Omaha Steve!
Post by: BlueStateSaint on November 29, 2014, 07:24:40 AM
Steve, we know you read here. 

I won't attack you right now, even though we disagree.

Think about your grandkids and how much you enjoy them and how much they enjoy you.

Make your retirement something besides sitting in a chair, watching cable news, and bitching about life on DU.  Get out and really exercise every day.  Find a charity that you think is worth your while and put in at least twenty hours a week.  Find a hobby that you never had the time for and do that.

Otherwise, you won't be enjoying those grandkids for long.

The bolded.  Steve, enjoy your retirement.  May I suggest one word, though--"Treadclimber."
Title: Re: happy retirement to the big guy, Omaha Steve!
Post by: franksolich on November 29, 2014, 10:03:32 AM
May I suggest one word, though--"Treadclimber."

You know, if it were geographically convenient, like if I still lived in Omaha, I'd be more than happy to jog or run or tread with the big guy on a daily basis, so as to keep him motivated.

Not that I exactly need the exercise myself, but it wouldn't hurt; and besides, the paramount deal is to get the big guy in tip-top top-notch shape.

And I'm sure poor dear Marta would appreciate not having to worry about the connubial bed collapsing.

But since it's not geographically convenient, I guess I'll just have to use words and wit, so as to encourage him.
Title: Re: happy retirement to the big guy, Omaha Steve!
Post by: Big Dog on November 29, 2014, 10:31:44 AM
Happy retirement, Steve. 

Enjoy the gold-plated miniature tampon net, your retirement gift from a relieved grateful Water and Sewer Department. As a good union man, you did a great job of fishing out the tampons, while leaving the condoms for the condom-catching guy.

The Police Department was going to give you a gold-plated spray bottle of vomit neutralizer, but you retired one day short of the minimum, as specified in the city's contract with Police Car Cleaners Local Number 31. A contract is a contract, as they say.

May your road to oblivion be paved with mini-tacos.
Title: Re: happy retirement to the big guy, Omaha Steve!
Post by: BlueStateSaint on November 29, 2014, 10:47:39 AM
You know, if it were geographically convenient, like if I still lived in Omaha, I'd be more than happy to jog or run or tread with the big guy on a daily basis, so as to keep him motivated.

Not that I exactly need the exercise myself, but it wouldn't hurt; and besides, the paramount deal is to get the big guy in tip-top top-notch shape.

And I'm sure poor dear Marta would appreciate not having to worry about the connubial bed collapsing.

But since it's not geographically convenient, I guess I'll just have to use words and wit, so as to encourage him.

The reason I mention that is because I'm thinking about getting one.  I could use carrying a few less pounds, for my back.  I'm 5'9" and about 195 pounds now, but I should easily be 180 in a couple of months--if I had something "in the way" that I had to do every other day.
Title: Re: happy retirement to the big guy, Omaha Steve!
Post by: diesel driver on November 30, 2014, 03:38:36 PM
Happy retirement, Steve.  Enjoy it you've earned it.

Now you will have more time to devote to a political career, running for city council or some other office.  We hope next time, you will break into the upper half of the field when the votes are tallied, not next to last as your previous treks into the politcal waters have rendered.

Go forth and campaign!   :yahoo: