The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: FlippyDoo on November 27, 2014, 10:43:34 AM

Title: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: FlippyDoo on November 27, 2014, 10:43:34 AM
When you begin fabricating your Thanksgiving Bouncy Tales for our ammusement I'd like to request at least one where you pretend to put a fundie relative in his or her place so forcefully that he or she bursts into tears and rushes from the Thanksgiving table.

I'd also like you to fabricate a Bouncy in which you pretend to convert a long-time conservative by using Obamafacts that you obtained on DU.

Finally, I'd like you to fabricate a Bouncy where you get in an uproar because someone mentioned God or said Merry Christmas.

Each of the above could be fabricated by different DUmmies in different Bouncy Tales, but if you're an ambitious DUmmie who could include all three in a single Bouncy it would be much appreciated.

Thanks,
Your friend and fictional spirit-guide
FlippyDoo
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: Big Dog on November 27, 2014, 10:59:39 AM
If the DUmmies are taking requests, I'd like to see a bouncy where the DUmmy demolishes Rush Limbaugh talking points with Rachel Maddow talking points (causing the entire family to give a standing ovation), and the bouncy concludes with the knuckle-dragging Rethuglican patriarch converting to a homosexual AND a vegan.
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: Mr Mannn on November 27, 2014, 11:03:10 AM
Hi5 to Flippy for his excellent requests.

I would like to request a bouncy where you invited an angry Ferguson Protester to your table this year. After he robs your family and burns your house down, I want to hear how your conservative relatives burst into tears as they realized the terrible burden of their white privilege.
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: FlippyDoo on November 27, 2014, 11:06:54 AM
Hi5 to Flippy for his excellent requests.

I would like to request a bouncy where you invited an angry Ferguson Protester to your table this year. After he robs your family and burns your house down, I want to hear how your conservative relatives burst into tears as they realized the terrible burden of their white privilege.

Oh! Hi5 back to you for the great "white privilege" idea. I'm sorry that I didn't think of that as it would be excellent in a Thanksgiving Bouncy.
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: diesel driver on November 27, 2014, 11:10:18 AM
If the DUmmies are taking requests, I'd like to see a bouncy where the DUmmy demolishes Rush Limbaugh talking points with Rachel Maddow talking points (causing the entire family to give a standing ovation), and the bouncy concludes with the knuckle-dragging Rethuglican patriarch converting to a homosexual AND a vegan.

I like to see a bouncy involving a DUmmie lecturing the entire family on the illegitimacy of Thanksgiving, because it revolves around religious fundamentalist who came here (illegally), force the inhabitants off their land, raping and pilliageing Mother Gaia and causing Gorebull Warming.
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: JohnnyReb on November 27, 2014, 11:12:54 AM
I am about an hour and a half from indulging in a whole heap of white privilege. :-)
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: FlippyDoo on November 27, 2014, 11:15:28 AM
This is all great. Deep down the DUmmies want to provide entertainment for us, but most do not have the creative spark.

By offering these suggestions we are helping them out.
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: Big Dog on November 27, 2014, 11:17:53 AM
I am about an hour and a half from indulging in a whole heap of white privilege. :-)

I will enjoy Primate Privilege- the advantage of having opposable thumbs!
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: diesel driver on November 27, 2014, 11:25:46 AM
I will enjoy Primate Privilege- the advantage of having opposable thumbs!
And the ability to use tools.

I plan to put my fork to extensive use today.   :drool:

Here's to white primate opposable thumb privilege!   :cheersmate:
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: Big Dog on November 27, 2014, 11:48:07 AM
I'll be going for the dark meat today. I can have white and dark meat, if I choose.

More white privilege!
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: USA4ME on November 27, 2014, 11:48:33 AM
I want a Bouncy that involves racist gerrymandering, low voter turnout, and "just wait until 2016."

Also, a Bouncy involving lecturing about Thanksgiving and how the natives helped the Pilgrims with a parallel to how we should be treating those who receive amnesty.

As a bonus, I would like at least one Bouncy involving corporate Dem relatives (Clinton supporters) and the Warren/Sanders relative(s) who puts them in their place.

.
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: Dori on November 27, 2014, 11:56:56 AM
I would like a bouncy on what their ideal harvest celebration would look like.  It would have to include some of their favorite concoctions including; kale, tofu, mushrooms, and any unknown and pretentious ingredient that normal people don't eat.

Also, their ideal guest list that should have a least one person from each of their victim classes.  Some suggestions would be; a homeless person, a new illegal immigrant, an inner-city misguided youth, a gender confused person, going through transition, a feminist, a gay, a felon or a Club Gitmo candidate.

It should be a most perfect and joyous occasion of humanists coming together as a collective to sing "kum ba yah", smoke a bowl and share with one another their healing white light and gofundme wishes.

 



Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: Big Dog on November 27, 2014, 12:00:05 PM
I would like a bouncy on what their ideal harvest celebration would look like.  It would have to include some of their favorite concoctions including; kale, tofu, mushrooms, and any unknown and pretentious ingredient that normal people don't eat.

Also, their ideal guest list that should have a least one person from each of their victim classes.  Some suggestions would be; a homeless person, a new illegal immigrant, an inner-city misguided youth, a gender confused person, going through transition, a feminist, a gay, a felon or a Club Gitmo candidate.

It should be a most perfect and joyous occasion of humanists coming together as a collective to sing "kum ba yah", smoke a bowl and share with one another their healing white light and gofundme wishes.

 :clap: :clap: :clap:

High five!
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: diesel driver on November 27, 2014, 12:01:55 PM
Love your "guest" list!  Add an ebola patient and it would be perfect.

Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: 98ZJUSMC on November 27, 2014, 12:44:16 PM
 :rotf: Hilarious!  :hi5: s all around.  I think we know the (D)Ummies better than they know themselves.
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: 98ZJUSMC on November 27, 2014, 12:48:59 PM
I would like a bouncy on what their ideal harvest celebration would look like.  It would have to include some of their favorite concoctions including; kale, tofu, mushrooms, and any unknown and pretentious ingredient that normal people don't eat.

Also, their ideal guest list that should have a least one person from each of their victim classes.  Some suggestions would be; a homeless person, a new illegal immigrant, an inner-city misguided youth, a gender confused person, going through transition, a feminist, a gay, a felon or a Club Gitmo candidate.

It should be a most perfect and joyous occasion of humanists coming together as a collective to sing "kum ba yah", smoke a bowl and share with one another their healing white light and gofundme wishes.


Oooooooooooooo.....!!!!!  Up Twinkles!  But, ......

(http://cosmoscon.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/imagesca2s7uhp.jpg)

Kids may ruin it.
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: freedumb2003b on November 27, 2014, 02:24:40 PM
ferguson.  Gotta have a bouncy on ferguson.  Probably a news break during the game where the Dummie, in his/her infinite wisdom vanquishes any facts about the gentle giant's behavior and has the conservative rethug BIL whimpering for forgiveness for being so WRONG about it!

You might be able to feather this into the bouncy originally requested as sort of the topic jump-off point.

We're counting on you, DUmmies -- too late for heads nodding in the grocery store since that was yesterday.  But add some creative juices to the gravy and let's see some good ones!  We'll be rating using our bong scale, of course so you can play at home...
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: freedumb2003b on November 27, 2014, 02:26:55 PM
Also, their ideal guest list that should have a least one person from each of their victim classes.  Some suggestions would be; a homeless person, a new illegal immigrant, an inner-city misguided youth, a gender confused person, going through transition, a feminist, a gay, a felon or a Club Gitmo candidate.

You think any DUmmie that lives a reasonably middle class lifestyle (here are a handful) would let ANY of those people near them and their house and family???  HORRORS, no way!  You help people by posting rants and lies on a "progressive" message board -- DUH!
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: CollectivismMustDie on November 27, 2014, 02:37:05 PM
I dunno...Holiday Bouncies just...aren't fun anymore.

Knowing that even a fictional fundie relative would shut the mouths of a room full of dummies, by telling them "Your own leaders and the people who advise them were talking about you when they referred to the stupidity of the american voter, not conservatives like me"...


Well, that just takes the fun right out of them, but I'll get over it.

 :rotf:

CMD
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: Carl on November 27, 2014, 02:42:00 PM
Preparing the way.
 

Quote
Thu Nov 27, 2014, 01:08 PM

bluestateguy (40,971 posts)

My condolences to those of you who have to have Thanksgiving dinner tonight w/ right wing relatives
 
 and the many racist, sexist and homophobic remarks that are likely to be heard.


http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025879420

Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: delilahmused on November 27, 2014, 04:47:02 PM
And maybe a Native American where the proverbial cop usually is.

Cindie
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: JohnnyReb on November 27, 2014, 06:25:52 PM
May they all hide in the poison ivy when the cops respond to the disorderly conduct report.
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: Big Dog on November 27, 2014, 06:56:43 PM
Quote
Thu Nov 27, 2014, 01:08 PM

bluestateguy (40,971 posts)

My condolences to those of you who have to have Thanksgiving dinner tonight w/ right wing relatives
 
 and the many racist, sexist and homophobic remarks that are likely to be heard.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025879420

Had Thanksgiving dinner in Smallville today. Family and friends. Near 30 of us- white, black, Mexican, and Indian (woo-woo, not red-dot). Without a doubt, a broader racial demographic than any DUmmy's Thanskgiving.

Not a racist, sexist, or homophobic work spoken.

By DUmmy standards, we were doing it wrong.
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: JohnnyReb on November 27, 2014, 07:04:50 PM
Had Thanksgiving dinner in Smallville today. Family and friends. Near 30 of us- white, black, Mexican, and Indian (woo-woo, not red-dot). Without a doubt, a broader racial demographic than any DUmmy's Thanskgiving.

Not a racist, sexist, or homophobic work spoken.

By DUmmy standards, we were doing it wrong.
Conservative families be dull..... :-)
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: dixierose on November 27, 2014, 07:06:00 PM
This is the first Thanksgiving bouncy I came across. They're gonna have to do better than this:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025880193

Quote
Atman (28,164 posts)

I kept my opinions to myself all during dinner, until...


RW mother in law asks, right at the end of the meal, "So, what do y'all think of what happened with the policeman shooting the black boy?"

Uh oh. Take another bite of pie.

We actually had a pretty civil conversation for a bit. For my part, to attempt to stay clear of controversy, I indicted the media and they've whipped us into a frenzy for ratings. That worked out well until I mentioned Fox. The in-laws, avid Fox watchers, were totally taken aback at my suggestion that Fox was not an impartial source. I pointed out the history of Fox, and their lack of an actual news division. It got hotter than a fresh scoop of stuffing, but we managed to change the subject after mother in law says she'd like to learn more about Fox and Roger Ailles. Shocker! Wow!

Thanksgiving surprise. But I guarantee we'll awaken to "Fox & Friends" again tomorrow morning...at 110 decibels.

Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: Mr Mannn on November 27, 2014, 07:06:06 PM
And Amber dearest, it just won't be Thanksgiving without the heartwarming fish fry at your ripped Indian boyfriend's wigwam.
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: Mr Mannn on November 27, 2014, 07:10:56 PM
This is the first Thanksgiving bouncy I came across. They're gonna have to do better than this:
Quote
Atman (28,164 posts)

I ate dinner alone. My family ostracized me years ago because I won't stop talking politics.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025880193
Translated it for you.
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: franksolich on November 27, 2014, 07:12:19 PM
This is the first Thanksgiving bouncy I came across. They're gonna have to do better than this:

That's Atman.

<<<knows Atman like the back of hand.

What the "RW mother-in-law" asked, right at the end of the meal, was "was the pumpkin pie okay?"

Trust me.

<<<knows.
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: Big Dog on November 27, 2014, 07:20:11 PM
Conservative families be dull..... :-)

Not a "bluestateguy" in the bunch to liven things up.
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: freedumb2003b on November 27, 2014, 08:13:53 PM
Had Thanksgiving dinner in Smallville today. Family and friends. Near 30 of us- white, black, Mexican, and Indian (woo-woo, not red-dot). Without a doubt, a broader racial demographic than any DUmmy's Thanskgiving.

Not a racist, sexist, or homophobic work spoken.

By DUmmy standards, we were doing it wrong.

I always use "casino" vs. "call center" Indian to make the distinction.

;)
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: thundley4 on November 27, 2014, 08:20:36 PM
I always use "casino" vs. "call center" Indian to make the distinction.

;)

 :lol:  :hi5:
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: FlippyDoo on November 27, 2014, 09:20:06 PM
I always use "casino" vs. "call center" Indian to make the distinction.

;)

I always use Injun Indian and Indian Indian. I suppose one of us will be called more racist than the other, but I don't which of us it would be.
Title: Re: A request for all DUmmies
Post by: 98ZJUSMC on November 27, 2014, 09:28:36 PM
This is the first Thanksgiving bouncy I came across. They're gonna have to do better than this:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025880193

Quote
Atman (28,164 posts)

I kept my opinions to myself all during dinner, until...


RW mother in law asks, right at the end of the meal, "So, what do y'all think of what happened with the policeman shooting the black boy?"

Uh oh. Take another bite of pie.  Or, a Louisville Slugger to the skull.

We actually had a pretty civil conversation for a bit. For my part, to attempt to stay clear of controversy, I indicted the media and they've whipped us into a frenzy for ratings. Who's us, dipshit? That worked out well until I mentioned Fox. The in-laws, avid Fox watchers, were totally taken aback at my suggestion that Fox was not an impartial source. I pointed out the history of Fox, and their lack of an actual news division. It got hotter than a fresh scoop of stuffing, but we managed to change the subject after mother in law says she'd like to learn more about Fox and Roger Ailles. Shocker! Wow!

Thanksgiving surprise. But I guarantee we'll awaken to "Fox & Friends" again tomorrow morning...at 110 decibels.

Wow......no fervent conversions?  Surely, there was a cop out in the backyard, clapping, that he missed.