The Conservative Cave

The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: Toastedturningtidelegs on July 11, 2008, 08:52:11 PM

Title: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on July 11, 2008, 08:52:11 PM
So...While I was away at Scout camp this past week with my little guys. My 15 year old son and his friend decided it would be a great idea to reenact the Gunfight at The O.K. Corral in my living room with air soft guns! :o...The end result I have two impact cracks on my 19 inch lcd computer moniter and I am still picking up these little ******* pellets{It was a helluva battle} I wanted to tie him to a tree and shoot he and his buddy 150 times each with an air soft gun! :-) But fear of retaliation from mama bear and a prison sentence for child abuse quelled my blood lust! :-) This kid is going to shorten my life by years I swear! :banghead:
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: MrsSmith on July 11, 2008, 08:55:32 PM
2 impact cracks on a 19" flat-screen?   I think I'd have each kid pay for 1/2 of a new monitor.   :-)
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Lord Undies on July 11, 2008, 09:01:13 PM
Put a small drop of molten lead in his ear while he sleeps.
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: DixieBelle on July 11, 2008, 09:02:04 PM
I think I'd have to impact his crack with an airsoft gun!

Restitution for starters though.
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: asdf2231 on July 11, 2008, 09:04:21 PM
Give them their Air Soft guns and I'll mail you my high-cap, semi-auto paint ball gun.  Get them in your kids room and lock the door and then have a free for all with them!

There's gotta be a TON of stuff you can **** up in there with a few well placed balls.  And the welts might be a good reminder that such toys are better played with outside. :-)
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Wretched Excess on July 11, 2008, 09:08:24 PM

meh.  three weeks "in the room" restriction, and permanent revocation of
his license to bear air arms.

which could alway be appealed to the superior court om Mom.
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Chris_ on July 11, 2008, 09:11:04 PM
A 19-inch replacement LCD panel will probably run you about $300-400, excluding labor.  We get smashed LCD panels all the time at work.  The 15-inch panels start at $100, the 17-inch ones are about $200-250.

I wish I could take a paintball gun to the retards that send in their life story instead of a simple description of the problem.   :whatever:
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on July 11, 2008, 10:28:33 PM
I think I'd have to impact his crack with an airsoft gun!

Restitution for starters though.
Yes When he gets a job he will be reimbursing me the 300 dollars it will take to either repair or replace! That is one part of the  punishment...The more embarrassing part is when I get out the nekkid toddler pictures the next time his girlfriend is over! :-)
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on July 11, 2008, 10:31:56 PM
Give them their Air Soft guns and I'll mail you my high-cap, semi-auto paint ball gun.  Get them in your kids room and lock the door and then have a free for all with them!

There's gotta be a TON of stuff you can **** up in there with a few well placed balls.  And the welts might be a good reminder that such toys are better played with outside. :-)
There is quite a bit of stuff I can **** up in his room! Three guitars,an amp,he's got a WII in there as well but I can't **** that up{I enjoy the golf game on it too much :-)} :-)
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on July 11, 2008, 10:32:59 PM

meh.  three weeks "in the room" restriction, and permanent revocation of
his license to bear air arms.

which could alway be appealed to the superior court om Mom.
Yes he does appeal when the Supreme court of DAD is not in session! :-)
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: CactusCarlos on July 11, 2008, 10:36:08 PM
Quote
What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?

Exhaustion due to endless chores.   :-)
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: RobJohnson on July 12, 2008, 12:21:00 AM
I wish I could take a paintball gun to the retards that send in their life story instead of a simple description of the problem.   :whatever:


 :lmao:
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Chris_ on July 12, 2008, 12:40:05 AM
Vividly explain slow castration to him and his buddy...
Sharpen a knife while doing so...
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Chris_ on July 12, 2008, 10:41:57 AM
Give them their Air Soft guns and I'll mail you my high-cap, semi-auto paint ball gun.  Get them in your kids room and lock the door and then have a free for all with them!

There's gotta be a TON of stuff you can **** up in there with a few well placed balls.  And the welts might be a good reminder that such toys are better played with outside. :-)
There is quite a bit of stuff I can **** up in his room! Three guitars,an amp,he's got a WII in there as well but I can't **** that up{I enjoy the golf game on it too much :-)} :-)
You mean YOUR Wii and YOUR guitars and YOUR amp -- the latter set of which will now help the poor at Goodwill? Losing things, either through someone else breaking them or having to give them away, hurts.
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Lord Undies on July 12, 2008, 10:55:34 AM
Grind up and powder some raw fruit of the Ricinus communis.  Add a little to his food daily.  Desired effects may take between two and four weeks. 
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: DixieBelle on July 12, 2008, 11:44:41 AM
when he sees how long it takes working a part time job to pay off his portion, he'll think twice. And it's a lesson in capitalism and how not to be a DUmmie. Bonus!
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on July 12, 2008, 11:46:17 AM
Give them their Air Soft guns and I'll mail you my high-cap, semi-auto paint ball gun.  Get them in your kids room and lock the door and then have a free for all with them!

There's gotta be a TON of stuff you can **** up in there with a few well placed balls.  And the welts might be a good reminder that such toys are better played with outside. :-)
There is quite a bit of stuff I can **** up in his room! Three guitars,an amp,he's got a WII in there as well but I can't **** that up{I enjoy the golf game on it too much :-)} :-)
You mean YOUR Wii and YOUR guitars and YOUR amp -- the latter set of which will now help the poor at Goodwill? Losing things, either through someone else breaking them or having to give them away, hurts.

Well I was thinking more along the lines of a nice yard sale and having him volunteer at a soup kitchen. The WII is actually a Christmas gift that was given to all three boys so I have confiscated it and put it on my tv so the little guys can still use it!
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Miss Mia on July 12, 2008, 02:09:20 PM
Last night a friend told me what a co-worker of hers once did.  He had rented a storage room, and every time his son screwed up, he removed something from his room.  Eventually, there was only a bed and chest of drawers in there.
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Lacarnut on July 12, 2008, 02:41:03 PM
Check out Ebay for your LCD monitor purchase. They have hundreds of new ones listed. I bought my 19" Sony for around $180. They have some great deals.

If that's all you teenager destroys, consider your self lucky. Car wrecks come to mind.
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on July 12, 2008, 04:07:27 PM
Last night a friend told me what a co-worker of hers once did.  He had rented a storage room, and every time his son screwed up, he removed something from his room.  Eventually, there was only a bed and chest of drawers in there.
Yes I have something similar"a workshop in my house" the problem is all of the boy's things i've taken away now clog it up so I can't work in there! :banghead: :rotf:
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on July 12, 2008, 04:12:10 PM
Check out Ebay for your LCD monitor purchase. They have hundreds of new ones listed. I bought my 19" Sony for around $180. They have some great deals.

If that's all you teenager destroys, consider your self lucky. Car wrecks come to mind.
Funny you mention car wrecks! He just got his driving permit :lmao: He also asked me before this happened to buy him a car and I was actually going to until this happened {he was going to have to pay me back for the car actually} Now I think I'm going to backburner that car for awhile until he learns the value of dleayed gratification and respect for others things!
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Miss Mia on July 12, 2008, 04:40:33 PM
Last night a friend told me what a co-worker of hers once did.  He had rented a storage room, and every time his son screwed up, he removed something from his room.  Eventually, there was only a bed and chest of drawers in there.
Yes I have something similar"a workshop in my house" the problem is all of the boy's things i've taken away now clog it up so I can't work in there! :banghead: :rotf:



You poor thing.

Really, I'd make him get a job or work chores to pay it off.  As for the car, my suggestion is that he get a job close to home and start saving.  Tell him that you'll match what he saves for a car.  So if he can work and save up $1000, he gets a $2000 beater and so on.  And the car is after he pays off the damage done.
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on July 12, 2008, 04:50:16 PM
Last night a friend told me what a co-worker of hers once did.  He had rented a storage room, and every time his son screwed up, he removed something from his room.  Eventually, there was only a bed and chest of drawers in there.
Yes I have something similar"a workshop in my house" the problem is all of the boy's things i've taken away now clog it up so I can't work in there! :banghead: :rotf:



You poor thing.

Really, I'd make him get a job or work chores to pay it off.  As for the car, my suggestion is that he get a job close to home and start saving.  Tell him that you'll match what he saves for a car.  So if he can work and save up $1000, he gets a $2000 beater and so on.  And the car is after he pays off the damage done.
He's been putting in apps at all of the local businesses and hasn't gotten a call back. I told him to start calling them and asking if they have reviewed his app and to keep bugging them! :-) He's normally a very good considerate kid but being 15 and a boy he tends to act without thinking at times! :lmao:
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Miss Mia on July 12, 2008, 04:58:12 PM
Last night a friend told me what a co-worker of hers once did.  He had rented a storage room, and every time his son screwed up, he removed something from his room.  Eventually, there was only a bed and chest of drawers in there.
Yes I have something similar"a workshop in my house" the problem is all of the boy's things i've taken away now clog it up so I can't work in there! :banghead: :rotf:



You poor thing.

Really, I'd make him get a job or work chores to pay it off.  As for the car, my suggestion is that he get a job close to home and start saving.  Tell him that you'll match what he saves for a car.  So if he can work and save up $1000, he gets a $2000 beater and so on.  And the car is after he pays off the damage done.
He's been putting in apps at all of the local businesses and hasn't gotten a call back. I told him to start calling them and asking if they have reviewed his app and to keep bugging them! :-) He's normally a very good considerate kid but being 15 and a boy he tends to act without thinking at times! :lmao:


Has nothing to do with his age and all with his being a boy.



LOL!
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Wretched Excess on July 12, 2008, 05:03:28 PM
Last night a friend told me what a co-worker of hers once did.  He had rented a storage room, and every time his son screwed up, he removed something from his room.  Eventually, there was only a bed and chest of drawers in there.
Yes I have something similar"a workshop in my house" the problem is all of the boy's things i've taken away now clog it up so I can't work in there! :banghead: :rotf:



You poor thing.

Really, I'd make him get a job or work chores to pay it off.  As for the car, my suggestion is that he get a job close to home and start saving.  Tell him that you'll match what he saves for a car.  So if he can work and save up $1000, he gets a $2000 beater and so on.  And the car is after he pays off the damage done.
He's been putting in apps at all of the local businesses and hasn't gotten a call back. I told him to start calling them and asking if they have reviewed his app and to keep bugging them! :-) He's normally a very good considerate kid but being 15 and a boy he tends to act without thinking at times! :lmao:


Has nothing to do with his age and all with his being a boy.



LOL!

your faith in our gender is deeply satisfying. :-)
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Miss Mia on July 12, 2008, 05:10:28 PM
Last night a friend told me what a co-worker of hers once did.  He had rented a storage room, and every time his son screwed up, he removed something from his room.  Eventually, there was only a bed and chest of drawers in there.
Yes I have something similar"a workshop in my house" the problem is all of the boy's things i've taken away now clog it up so I can't work in there! :banghead: :rotf:



You poor thing.

Really, I'd make him get a job or work chores to pay it off.  As for the car, my suggestion is that he get a job close to home and start saving.  Tell him that you'll match what he saves for a car.  So if he can work and save up $1000, he gets a $2000 beater and so on.  And the car is after he pays off the damage done.
He's been putting in apps at all of the local businesses and hasn't gotten a call back. I told him to start calling them and asking if they have reviewed his app and to keep bugging them! :-) He's normally a very good considerate kid but being 15 and a boy he tends to act without thinking at times! :lmao:


Has nothing to do with his age and all with his being a boy.



LOL!

your faith in our gender is deeply satisfying. :-)


Yet, I still find the need to keep mens folk around.
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Wretched Excess on July 12, 2008, 05:12:56 PM

Really, I'd make him get a job or work chores to pay it off.  As for the car, my suggestion is that he get a job close to home and start saving.  Tell him that you'll match what he saves for a car.  So if he can work and save up $1000, he gets a $2000 beater and so on.  And the car is after he pays off the damage done.

That's how I bought my first car as a teenager. It's also would be a good idea to buy him a 4cyl slow poke. The insurance will be less and racing in a gas saver would not be an option either. As a kid, many moons ago, I ate up the tires in 6 months on my dads new 8cyl Olds. My mom could not figure out how that happened.   

** edited by WE to fix quote tag problem **
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Miss Mia on July 12, 2008, 05:30:05 PM

Really, I'd make him get a job or work chores to pay it off.  As for the car, my suggestion is that he get a job close to home and start saving.  Tell him that you'll match what he saves for a car.  So if he can work and save up $1000, he gets a $2000 beater and so on.  And the car is after he pays off the damage done.

That's how I bought my first car as a teenager. It's also would be a good idea to buy him a 4cyl slow poke. The insurance will be less and racing in a gas saver would not be an option either. As a kid, many moons ago, I ate up the tires in 6 months on my dads new 8cyl Olds. My mom could not figure out how that happened.   

** edited by WE to fix quote tag problem **



I got a sweet 1992 Pontiac Sunbird teal green.  It was my mom's car, but since both my parents worked at the same place, they rode together.  It was only 4 years old when I got it, pretty sweet.  I knew some kids that got brand new cars, some of them only lasted a year max before being totalled.  LOL

Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Rebel on July 12, 2008, 05:31:59 PM
You poor thing.

Really, I'd make him get a job or work chores to pay it off.  As for the car, my suggestion is that he get a job close to home and start saving.  Tell him that you'll match what he saves for a car.  So if he can work and save up $1000, he gets a $2000 beater and so on.  And the car is after he pays off the damage done.

Wanna make a kid appreciate a car? Buy him a piece of junk but affordable, that has potential, like a '75 Bronco, an MGB, a Triumph, or maybe a '76 Jeep CJ, and have him restore it for his own vehicle, with your help of course. This creates A) A bond, B) knowledge of vehicles, and C) his own classic. 77' MGB man here. I don't have it anymore.  :(
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Wretched Excess on July 12, 2008, 05:46:30 PM
You poor thing.

Really, I'd make him get a job or work chores to pay it off.  As for the car, my suggestion is that he get a job close to home and start saving.  Tell him that you'll match what he saves for a car.  So if he can work and save up $1000, he gets a $2000 beater and so on.  And the car is after he pays off the damage done.

Wanna make a kid appreciate a car? Buy him a piece of junk but affordable, that has potential, like a '75 Bronco, an MGB, a Triumph, or maybe a '76 Jeep CJ, and have him restore it for his own vehicle, with your help of course. This creates A) A bond, B) knowledge of vehicles, and C) his own classic. 77' MGB man here. I don't have it anymore.  :(

my first car was a buick regal. :-)

my second car was a '73 camaro that my dad bought new, and gave to me when I was 18.  we fully restored it as a "father
and son" project after I got out of college.  we still have it.  it's beautiful.  3 on the floor, and a 307 . . . it screams.

Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Rebel on July 12, 2008, 05:49:15 PM
my second car was a '73 camaro that my dad bought new, and gave to me when I was 18.  we fully restored it as a "father
and son" project after I got out of college.  we still have it.  it's beautiful.  3 on the floor, and a 307 . . . it screams.

Lucky f'er.  :-)

You realize that's worth some good money, right?  :-)

...and will be worth a ton more in about 20 years.
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Wretched Excess on July 12, 2008, 06:06:12 PM
my second car was a '73 camaro that my dad bought new, and gave to me when I was 18.  we fully restored it as a "father
and son" project after I got out of college.  we still have it.  it's beautiful.  3 on the floor, and a 307 . . . it screams.

Lucky f'er.  :-)

You realize that's worth some good money, right?  :-)

...and will be worth a ton more in about 20 years.

he actually built a storage building, or what we mississippians call a "shed", for it.

I have a pic someplace.  I will post it.  it's a beautiful car.
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Lord Undies on July 12, 2008, 06:59:08 PM
Well.  I can see I am the only one taking the OP question seriously.  Ummph!
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on July 13, 2008, 09:04:19 AM
Well.  I can see I am the only one taking the OP question seriously.  Ummph!
Do you pour the molten lead into both ears Undies? Don't want to half-ass this thing! :-)
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Lord Undies on July 13, 2008, 09:11:34 AM
Well.  I can see I am the only one taking the OP question seriously.  Ummph!
Do you pour the molten lead into both ears Undies? Don't want to half-ass this thing! :-)

Just one will do.  It's soft tissue all the way. And remember, its only a droplet.
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on July 13, 2008, 09:19:35 AM
Well.  I can see I am the only one taking the OP question seriously.  Ummph!
Do you pour the molten lead into both ears Undies? Don't want to half-ass this thing! :-)

Just one will do.  It's soft tissue all the way. And remember, its only a droplet.
Ahh Yes! To make it look like an accident! :rotf:
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Wineslob on July 14, 2008, 11:22:33 AM
Make the boy earn the money. Take it from him. Make him watch you spend it.







No car, just a moped.


Yup, I'm back, and brown.  :-)
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Chris_ on July 14, 2008, 11:25:55 AM
Vividly explain slow castration to him and his buddy...
Dull a knife while doing so...
Fixt.
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Thor on July 15, 2008, 12:17:28 AM
Hard  labor for the summer AND restitution. Confiscation of the offending weapons. That's my verdict!!!
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Schadenfreude on July 15, 2008, 06:34:16 AM
It's a fact, kids do some pretty stupid things at times. It's the malicious little punks whose butts I want to kick.

I think we do our kids a great service to impart on them working hard so that they understand the value of a buck. I have a 15 yr old who really hasn't put the two together. By 15, I think I had been working for 3 years doing paper routes, baby sitting, etc. If I didn't work, I didn't have the things I wanted.
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Lord Undies on July 15, 2008, 07:13:45 AM
It's a fact, kids do some pretty stupid things at times. It's the malicious little punks whose butts I want to kick.

I think we do our kids a great service to impart on them working hard so that they understand the value of a buck. I have a 15 yr old who really hasn't put the two together. By 15, I think I had been working for 3 years doing paper routes, baby sitting, etc. If I didn't work, I didn't have the things I wanted.

Yes, friends, Schade bought her first push-up bar from an ad in the back of Jack & Jill Magazine.   :tongue:
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Schadenfreude on July 15, 2008, 07:15:40 AM
It's a fact, kids do some pretty stupid things at times. It's the malicious little punks whose butts I want to kick.

I think we do our kids a great service to impart on them working hard so that they understand the value of a buck. I have a 15 yr old who really hasn't put the two together. By 15, I think I had been working for 3 years doing paper routes, baby sitting, etc. If I didn't work, I didn't have the things I wanted.

Yes, friends, Schade bought her first push-up bar from an ad in the back of Jack & Jill Magazine.   :tongue:

Damn skippy!  :evillaugh:
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Chris_ on July 15, 2008, 07:30:44 AM
It's a fact, kids do some pretty stupid things at times. It's the malicious little punks whose butts I want to kick.

I think we do our kids a great service to impart on them working hard so that they understand the value of a buck. I have a 15 yr old who really hasn't put the two together. By 15, I think I had been working for 3 years doing paper routes, baby sitting, etc. If I didn't work, I didn't have the things I wanted.

Yes, friends, Schade bought her first push-up bar from an ad in the back of Jack & Jill Magazine.   :tongue:
Into exercise at an early age?
 :-)
Title: Re: What manner of death shall I choose for my 15 year old and his friend?
Post by: Lord Undies on July 15, 2008, 08:38:10 AM
It's a fact, kids do some pretty stupid things at times. It's the malicious little punks whose butts I want to kick.

I think we do our kids a great service to impart on them working hard so that they understand the value of a buck. I have a 15 yr old who really hasn't put the two together. By 15, I think I had been working for 3 years doing paper routes, baby sitting, etc. If I didn't work, I didn't have the things I wanted.

Yes, friends, Schade bought her first push-up bar from an ad in the back of Jack & Jill Magazine.   :tongue:
Into exercise at an early age?
 :-)

What the heck else did you think I meant?  Schade has always treated her body like a temple.