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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: BattleHymn on October 28, 2014, 10:14:12 PM

Title: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: BattleHymn on October 28, 2014, 10:14:12 PM
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018681759

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Sun Oct 26, 2014, 07:46 PM
Revanchist (684 posts)

What did you buy to hand out for Halloween?

I'm going to pick up the goodies tomorrow and trying to decide what to get. I probably won't get my favorites, Reese's peanut butter cups because of the possibility of nut allergies. Thinking about hitting BJ's and getting full size bars of either Milky Way or Three Musketeers, but I've also gotten the fruit snack things also in the past. Any advice?

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Sun Oct 26, 2014, 07:51 PM
Star Member pinboy3niner (38,833 posts)
1. Screw the cheap crap candy, I buy the candy that I like

Because I get the leftovers.

No surprise that a primitive would buy for themselves, rather than the little kiddies visiting them. 

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Sun Oct 26, 2014, 07:52 PM
fizzgig (21,400 posts)
2. i think mini candy bars and fruit snacks would be a good idea

stick them all in a bowl and let the kids pick out what they like. i've had one trick or treater nine years and i felt really bad for that kid because we couldn't very well give them a beer or a bud.

Oh, brother.  Can you imagine sending your child to fizzgig's apartment, what with the stench of her feet, rotting food containers strewn about, and the general piggishness of the whole place?  Since she's only had one visitor, it looks like word has gotten out about her hygiene habits. 

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Sun Oct 26, 2014, 08:21 PM
Star Member NYC_SKP (62,511 posts)
4. Cigarette lighters and firecrackers, same as last year.

the neighbors LOVE me!

DUmbass Skippy trying to be clever again.  Skippy reminds me of those guys you see in their late forties who dress like teenagers, in an attempt to stay "hip" and relevant. 

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Sun Oct 26, 2014, 09:44 PM
Jenoch (7,111 posts)
9. When my brothers kids were little and

I was still childless I gave them Snickers with a 6" nail pierced through them. The kids were baffled and my brother thought I was an idiot.

(Edit to add: it might be helpful to the kids to give them some punks in addition to the lighter.)

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Sun Oct 26, 2014, 08:36 PM
Star Member NightWatcher (25,590 posts)
6. I'm not getting anything

We'll be taking our daughter trick or treating in her bff's neighborhood on the 31st.

The dads will be drinking beers and pulling the kids in little red wagons while the moms walk ahead and give disapproving looks. Jacksonville Beach does it up right. Last year there were three haunted houses on the route and a dozen parties or so. There is no vehicle traffic and a ton of Halloweeners running around like little ghouls. Kids make the holidays so fun.

This primitive doesn't trick-or-treat in their own neighborhood.  Section 8 housing must be slim pickings.

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Sun Oct 26, 2014, 08:46 PM
Chan790 (17,229 posts)
7. I got Airheads.

Mostly because I hate them and thus they are friendly to my desire to obtain and maintain a healthy weight. Oddly, they seem popular...I get them most years and they're always a hit. I have no idea why...they're godawful.

So says the Chan790 primitive, who so far doesn't appear to have ever started working again since being shitcanned on August 16, 2011. 

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Sun Oct 26, 2014, 09:47 PM
Star Member Algernon Moncrieff (955 posts)
10. Sams Club has a plastic barrel of little bags of Utz pretzels

We combine those with bags of Goldfish. It's gone over pretty well for the past couple of years. Here's the theory: we used to buy candy; then after 10/31, we'd eat the leftover candy. It got the holiday weight gain off to a flying start.

Pretzels and goldfish?  Enjoy your bag of flaming shit on your porch next week, and the toilet paper hanging in your trees.  Note the emphasis that "It's gone over pretty well", which I take as an admission that "This is a shitty idea, but I'm going to do it anyways, because I know what's best for your kid". 

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Sun Oct 26, 2014, 10:44 PM
Star Member redwitch (10,834 posts)
13. kit kats, Reese's pb cups and ????

Some years we get lots of kids. I haven't actually bought any yet- I would just eat them and have to buy more. I have zero willpower.

A primitive with zero willpower?

(http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140820213305/sailormoon/images/e/e0/You_don't_say-.jpg)

Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: Big Dog on October 28, 2014, 10:25:02 PM
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Sun Oct 26, 2014, 07:52 PM
fizzgig (21,400 posts)
2. i think mini candy bars and fruit snacks would be a good idea

stick them all in a bowl and let the kids pick out what they like.

The kids won't get any. By 6:00 o'clock, fizz will have her face in the bowl, going after those treats like Rosie O'Donnell going down on a chocolate pooter.

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i've had one trick or treater nine years and i felt really bad for that kid because we couldn't very well give them a beer or a bud.

C'mon, fizz. Don't be a chicken. Be cool. Give the kid some beer and weed.
Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: Chris_ on October 28, 2014, 10:32:27 PM
(http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff68/kayaktn/trick_zps9d5154f3.jpg)
Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: BattleHymn on October 28, 2014, 10:33:18 PM

 :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:
Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: Chris_ on October 28, 2014, 10:36:51 PM
Left a bowl of candy out last year.  The little bastards took the entire thing.

I wouldn't have minded if they had at least brought the bowl back.  It showed up two days later.
Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: BannedFromDU on October 28, 2014, 10:41:17 PM



     I'm giving out Impeachmints.
Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: Dori on October 28, 2014, 10:41:42 PM
I was expecting the DUmmies to hand out kale chips.





Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: thundley4 on October 28, 2014, 10:48:43 PM
Why do both parents go with the kids, leaving no one home to hand out candy? WTF? Are they that cheap?

Pisses me off that only a couple of other houses on our street have their porch lights on for Halloween.
Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: BlueStateSaint on October 29, 2014, 05:37:06 AM
:rotf: :rotf: :rotf:

Same here--I almost woke The Heiress up with my laughing.

H5, Chris!
Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on October 29, 2014, 08:58:08 AM
What a joyful happy bunch... :whatever:
Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: GOBUCKS on October 29, 2014, 01:22:00 PM
Dad: "Whoa, son. Before you eat that Halloween candy I have to check it for razor blades."

Dad: "Darn! There's a razor in every piece!"

Kid: "Oh, no! Not again!"

Dad: "Yeah, better luck next year."
Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: sharkhawk on October 29, 2014, 01:33:23 PM
I always assumed there were two types of treats that the DUmmies handed out on Halloween.

The "intellectual" social science majors who hand out toothbrushes and Free Trade cocoa tracts to the kiddies, and end up with soap and eggs on their windows, and tp in the trees.

The druggie dummies, who mistakenly hand drugs to the kiddies, or who run in a hallucinatory horror from the costumes believing it to be the end of the world.

Okay 3, some of the addled dummies who hand out peppermint or butterscotch candy and the kids run in horror from the smell of cat pee, patchouli oil and DUmmie stench
Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: J P Sousa on October 29, 2014, 02:27:44 PM
My daughter and son in law moved into an old neighborhood, nice houses but most of the neighbors were up in years--- no kids.  So when they took the grand kids around, the neighbors didn't know what to do, one said they would see what they could find.   

They are going to come to our neighborhood this year. :lmao:
Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: Big Dog on October 29, 2014, 03:53:48 PM
My daughter and son in law moved into an old neighborhood, nice houses but most of the neighbors were up in years--- no kids.  So when they took the grand kids around, the neighbors didn't know what to do, one said they would see what they could find.   

They are going to come to our neighborhood this year. :lmao:

Those kids are lucky they didn't end up with goody bags full of Metamucil and cat treats.
Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: freedumb2003b on October 29, 2014, 03:57:59 PM
(http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff68/kayaktn/trick_zps9d5154f3.jpg)

Now THAT is freaking hilarious (also a good idea)...
Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: JohnnyReb on October 29, 2014, 07:05:43 PM
Kids of democrats get raw carrots and turnips per Moochelle.....kids of republicans get the best killer candies.

Actual, got candy but doubt any kids will come by...one of the advantages of living out in the country...you buy candy and get to eat it all.
Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: Big Dog on October 29, 2014, 07:14:17 PM
...one of the advantages of living out in the country...you buy candy and get to eat it all.

Ooooooh, yeah. I'm ready.

 :rocker:
Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: ColonelCarrots on October 29, 2014, 09:48:40 PM
Shame and disappointment. "Your mother voted for Obama twice!"
Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: Karin on November 01, 2014, 02:31:44 PM
I was expecting the DUmmies to hand out kale chips.

One year, a DUmmie announced she would be handing out pencils, one per child.  I'd have loved to see her house the next morning. 

We had 300, same as every year, and our treats are the best.
Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: BlueStateSaint on November 02, 2014, 04:31:15 PM
One year, a DUmmie announced she would be handing out pencils, one per child.  I'd have loved to see her house the next morning. 

We had 300, same as every year, and our treats are the best.

We had about 45 to 50.  The Heiress emptied the gallon-sized bowl on the kids, though.  Handfuls and handfuls to the kids.  We had some decent treats; The Heiress must have thought that 'quantity' was a lot better.
Title: Re: primitives discuss what they hand out for Halloween
Post by: GOBUCKS on November 02, 2014, 09:18:35 PM
Here in red state hell, there were maybe a half dozen trick-or-treaters instead of the usual 30 or so.

When it's cold and windy, kids here know it's a lot easier to get candy at Publix.