The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: BattleHymn on October 28, 2014, 09:58:32 PM

Title: primitive narrowly escapes being farted on by a cyclist
Post by: BattleHymn on October 28, 2014, 09:58:32 PM

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018682245

Quote

Mon Oct 27, 2014, 09:33 PM
Star Member Baitball Blogger (18,542 posts)

Question about cycling etiquette.

So I was walking my dog and a cyclist was coming my way. You could see he was a serious cyclist because he wore black cycling shorts, a neon orange shirt and a helmet. I looked up in time to nod to him as he passed by and got a good look at his face. I know he was looking right at me, but he had a strained look on his face. I turned around to check on his progress and he was not thirty or forty feet away when he weaves and audibly farts. He didn't even look back. He just picked up his pace and sped away.

I mean, what was that all about? Do cyclists get into such a zone that they become unaware of the world around them? Or should I take it personally?

Quote

Mon Oct 27, 2014, 09:42 PM
Star Member frogmarch (8,491 posts)
1. I'd say

you should take it personally in that he waited for as long as he could after he went by you to let go of the fart. You said he had a strained expression on his face as he passed you. He was trying as hard as he could not to fart on you.

Quote

Mon Oct 27, 2014, 09:46 PM
Star Member Baitball Blogger (18,542 posts)
3. I never thought of it that way.

Makes sense because there was a couple walking up the same sidewalk so he had to time it in the inbetween.

Quote

Mon Oct 27, 2014, 09:48 PM
ileus (10,974 posts)
5. Most never wave or break their cadence when riding seriously.

Quote

Mon Oct 27, 2014, 09:49 PM
Star Member Baitball Blogger (18,542 posts)
6. I was just expecting a nod of acknowledgement.

And if not a nod, then silence would have been welcome.

Title: Re: primitive narrowly escapes being farted on by a cyclist
Post by: thundley4 on October 28, 2014, 10:02:51 PM

I walked into K Mart the other day and held the door for another person and they didn't acknowledge me. Should I take it personally?

God, the DUmmies need to share the stupidest things.

Title: Re: primitive narrowly escapes being farted on by a cyclist
Post by: USA4ME on October 28, 2014, 10:05:38 PM

Quote from:

Baitball Blogger

I turned around to check on his progress....

Yeah, I bet that's what you were checking on. Tinkerbelle.

.

Title: Re: primitive narrowly escapes being farted on by a cyclist
Post by: Big Dog on October 28, 2014, 10:05:47 PM

(http://31.media.tumblr.com/8b9888847b83fe4abae950e3ec8a2a42/tumblr_mgowsmuHcL1s2ofm8o1_r1_500.gif)

Title: Re: primitive narrowly escapes being farted on by a cyclist
Post by: Dori on October 28, 2014, 10:09:08 PM

Quote from: thundley4 on October 28, 2014, 10:02:51 PM

God, the DUmmies need to share the stupidest things.

That's what makes them entertaining.  DUmmies can't decide on their own whether or not to be offended.  Must get a consensus.

Title: Re: primitive narrowly escapes being farted on by a cyclist
Post by: Big Dog on October 28, 2014, 10:10:56 PM

Quote

MasterBait Ball Flogger

I turned around to check on his progress and he was not thirty or forty feet away when he weaves and audibly farts.

What sensitive ears you have, DUmmy, to hear a butt trumpet from 10 yards or more. He caught you scoping out his ass and gave you a mating call.

Quote

He didn't even look back. He just picked up his pace and sped away.

"Kicked in the afterburner", you might say.

Title: Re: primitive narrowly escapes being farted on by a cyclist
Post by: BattleHymn on October 28, 2014, 10:15:26 PM

Quote

He didn't even look back. He just picked up his pace and sped away.

The poor cyclist was probably trying to escape the cloud of DUmmiestench. 

Title: Re: primitive narrowly escapes being farted on by a cyclist
Post by: Chris_ on October 28, 2014, 10:15:57 PM

Never trust a fart.  You don't know if he brought friends until it's too late.

Title: Re: primitive narrowly escapes being farted on by a cyclist
Post by: diesel driver on October 29, 2014, 03:55:21 AM

A fart is a turd blowing for the right-of-way.

In this case, telling a turd to get out the way.

Title: Re: primitive narrowly escapes being farted on by a cyclist
Post by: Mr Mannn on October 29, 2014, 06:22:59 AM

Quote

He didn't even look back. He just picked up his pace and sped away.

It's called, "Jet Assist."

Title: Re: primitive narrowly escapes being farted on by a cyclist
Post by: Gina on October 29, 2014, 07:27:09 AM

DU idea of a serious cyclist

(http://cyclebuttcrack.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/fat-cyclist.jpg)

Title: Re: primitive narrowly escapes being farted on by a cyclist
Post by: Gina on October 29, 2014, 07:27:27 AM

Quote from: Mr Mannn on October 29, 2014, 06:22:59 AM

It's called, "Jet Assist."

:rotf: :rotf: :rotf:

Title: Re: primitive narrowly escapes being farted on by a cyclist
Post by: Eupher on October 29, 2014, 01:57:29 PM

That "weave" that the DUmmy saw just as the cyclist farted was an off-kilter retro-rocket misfire. Had the cyclist's hemorrhoids not gotten in the way, that rocket would've gotten him up to 35 mph (in a headwind).

Title: Re: primitive narrowly escapes being farted on by a cyclist
Post by: hillneck on October 29, 2014, 02:13:21 PM

And the DUmmies wonder why everyone makes fun of them.  They get dumber everyday.