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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: BattleHymn on October 18, 2014, 03:25:08 PM

Title: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: BattleHymn on October 18, 2014, 03:25:08 PM
http://www.democraticunderground.com/115746519

I have nothing to add to this magnificent culinary failure.  Behold:

Quote
Thu Oct 9, 2014, 05:08 PM
Star Member LeftofObama (4,008 posts)

I finally made some black bean brownies today.

I've been meaning to try them for quite a while and I finally got around to it today. These are every bit as rich and gooey as brownies should be. I think you'll really like them.

http://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/2012/09/06/no-flour-black-bean-brownies/

Here's the recipe if you don't want to click on the link...

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups black beans (1 15-oz can, drained and rinsed very well) (250g after draining)
2 tbsp cocoa powder (10g)
1/2 cup quick oats (40g) (See nutrition link below for substitutions)
1/4 tsp salt
1/3 cup pure maple syrup or agave (or honey, but not for strict vegans.) (75g)
pinch uncut stevia OR 2 tbsp sugar (or omit and increase maple syrup to 1/2 cup)
1/4 cup coconut or vegetable oil (40g) (See nutrition link for substitution notes)
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup to 2/3 cup chocolate chips (115-140g) (Not optional. Omit at your own risk.)
optional: more chips, for presentation

Instructions

Black Bean Brownies Recipe: Preheat oven to 350 F. Combine all ingredients except chips in a good food processor, and blend until completely smooth. Really blend well. (A blender can work if you absolutely must, but the texture—and even the taste—will be much better in a food processor.) Stir in the chips, then pour into a greased 8x8 pan. Optional: sprinkle extra chocolate chips over the top. Cook the black bean brownies 15-18 minutes, then let cool at least 10 minutes before trying to cut. Makes 9-12 brownies.

Quote
Thu Oct 9, 2014, 05:30 PM
Star Member NJCher (17,168 posts)
1. totally do-able!

No sugar; can use stevia.

No wheat--oats!

Wow, now I can have brownies! My culinary world is expanding!

You can have brownies now, you vomit-soup concocting fool.  Go eat regular brownies like everyone else who has their head screwed on straight.

Quote
Thu Oct 9, 2014, 05:31 PM
blackcrowflies (40 posts)
2. Dear God.

My sentiments exactly.

Quote
Thu Oct 9, 2014, 09:32 PM
Star Member MrMickeysMom (13,509 posts)
5. Okay… here's the big question...

Will there be lots of gas afterwards?

Quote
Fri Oct 10, 2014, 05:20 AM
Star Member LeftofObama (4,008 posts)
6. Well, I ate 4 of them and nothing yet.

Thanks for the update. 
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: Dori on October 18, 2014, 03:49:43 PM
Ewwww.....I hate black beans

Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: Big Dog on October 18, 2014, 04:15:56 PM
Why?

For the love of Dog, why?
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: El Jefe on October 18, 2014, 04:38:31 PM
Beans in brownies, plumbing new depths of f'ing stupid!  :loser:
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: Zathras on October 18, 2014, 04:47:34 PM
Why?

For the love of Dog, why?

Because they are DUmbasses. They're like King Midas except, whatever they touch, turns to shit instead of gold.
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: 98ZJUSMC on October 18, 2014, 05:24:11 PM
Quote
I think you'll really like them.

Uh, no...
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: Ptarmigan on October 18, 2014, 06:29:14 PM
Black beans on a brownie??????????????? :wtf2:
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: Skul on October 18, 2014, 07:10:40 PM
These are "people" that put mushrooms in chili.
Me not surprised.
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: ChuckJ on October 18, 2014, 07:17:19 PM
Quote
Thu Oct 9, 2014, 05:08 PM
Star Member LeftofObama (4,008 posts)

I finally made some black bean brownies today.

I've been meaning to try them for quite a while and I finally got around to it today. These are every bit as rich and gooey as brownies should be. I think you'll really like them.

http://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/2012/09/06/no-flour-black-bean-brownies/

Here's the recipe if you don't want to click on the link...

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups black beans (1 15-oz can, drained and rinsed very well) (250g after draining)
2 tbsp cocoa powder (10g)
1/2 cup quick oats (40g) (See nutrition link below for substitutions)
1/4 tsp salt
1/3 cup pure maple syrup or agave (or honey, but not for strict vegans.) (75g)
pinch uncut stevia OR 2 tbsp sugar (or omit and increase maple syrup to 1/2 cup)
1/4 cup coconut or vegetable oil (40g) (See nutrition link for substitution notes)
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup to 2/3 cup chocolate chips (115-140g) (Not optional. Omit at your own risk.)
optional: more chips, for presentation

Instructions

Black Bean Brownies Recipe: Preheat oven to 350 F. Combine all ingredients except chips in a good food processor, and blend until completely smooth. Really blend well. (A blender can work if you absolutely must, but the texture—and even the taste—will be much better in a food processor.) Stir in the chips, then pour into a greased 8x8 pan. Optional: sprinkle extra chocolate chips over the top. Cook the black bean brownies 15-18 minutes, then let cool at least 10 minutes before trying to cut. Makes 9-12 brownies.

After getting over the complete stupidity of putting beans in brownies I noticed the part that I've colored red.

Honey is not vegan approved? Isn't it essentially just plant nectar that's been vomited by bees?

Personally, I like bee vomit, and I'm pretty sure I like bee vomit more than I'd like bean brownies.
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: I_B_Perky on October 18, 2014, 08:21:57 PM
 Beans in brownies?  :puke:

I swear the dummies could screw up a wet dream.
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: BlueStateSaint on October 18, 2014, 08:26:27 PM
Beans in brownies?  :puke:

I swear the dummies could screw up a wet dream.

Careful now--the DUmmies will put black beans in those.
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: BattleHymn on October 18, 2014, 08:27:42 PM
Careful now--the DUmmies will put black beans in those.

 :rotf:  :cheersmate:
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: Skul on October 18, 2014, 08:32:20 PM
Careful now--the DUmmies will put black beans in those.

 :cheersmate:
That's just plain funny.
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: I_B_Perky on October 18, 2014, 08:47:01 PM
Careful now--the DUmmies will put black beans in those.

 :lmao:

H5 for that one BlueState!
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: miskie on October 18, 2014, 09:08:27 PM
I now understand why someone came up with this phrase.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=baking%20brownies

http://www.hark.com/clips/mtddyccxty-brownies


But seriously, I have no idea what this recipe is - but I do know what it isn't - brownies.
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: Dori on October 18, 2014, 11:21:06 PM
Careful now--the DUmmies will put black beans in those.

Or peas    :lmao:
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: diesel driver on October 19, 2014, 10:02:22 AM
Black beans on a brownie??????????????? :wtf2:

No, black beans IN a brownie!!!  Again  :wtf2:
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: txradioguy on October 19, 2014, 10:42:33 AM
Why?

For the love of Dog, why?

Because the DUmmies must be politically correct in EVERYTHING they do...and that includes their diet.
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: Mr Mannn on October 19, 2014, 10:48:12 AM
Honey is not vegan approved?
No, because it comes from ENSLAVED bees. Seriously. Vegans are that stupid.
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: GOBUCKS on October 19, 2014, 12:22:09 PM
Sounds like a nice dessert after a dinner of NJCher's puke stew.
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: Chris_ on October 19, 2014, 12:47:49 PM
Sounds like a nice dessert after a dinner of NJCher's puke stew.
With a side of onion yogurt.
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: JakeStyle on October 19, 2014, 02:15:05 PM
Good grief.
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: Karin on October 19, 2014, 02:21:06 PM
 :rotf:  I have nothing to add to this culinary disaster either, but thanks for the laugh! 
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: Ptarmigan on October 19, 2014, 03:54:59 PM
No, black beans IN a brownie!!!  Again  :wtf2:

Either way. YUCK! :puke:
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: obumazombie on October 19, 2014, 04:56:56 PM
I was hoping it would be jelly beans.
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: RobJohnson on October 21, 2014, 05:50:09 AM
Careful now--the DUmmies will put black beans in those.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: njpines on October 21, 2014, 09:14:13 AM
What, no kale?
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: vesta111 on October 21, 2014, 10:11:27 AM
What, no kale?

Finely chopped cabbage and salad dressing, some olives and peanut butter.

Actually I have had brownies with peanut butter, and one memorial time when someone one put some kind of mushrooms in the mix and I was found face down in a field watching the grass grow.

Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: Wineslob on October 21, 2014, 11:18:36 AM
After getting over the complete stupidity of putting beans in brownies I noticed the part that I've colored red.

Honey is not vegan approved? Isn't it essentially just plant nectar that's been vomited by bees?

Personally, I like bee vomit, and I'm pretty sure I like bee vomit more than I'd like bean brownies.


If you ever read the "why" of that, you'll see true stupidity on display.

http://vegetus.org/honey/honey.htm
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: Big Dog on October 21, 2014, 11:21:36 AM
someone one put some kind of mushrooms in the mix and I was found face down in a field watching the grass grow.

That explains so much.

 :tongue:
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: njpines on October 21, 2014, 12:15:08 PM
That explains so much.

 :tongue:

Oh shit, doesn't it?????  :lmao:
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: Eupher on October 21, 2014, 12:20:22 PM
Personally, I don't have a problem with black beans in brownies.

Think of the quality of farts, for example. It's the gift that keeps on giving.  :-)
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: JakeStyle on October 21, 2014, 12:28:29 PM
For me, it raises the question of why they are eating brownies in the first place.  For me, it's sometimes nice to have a sweet snack when I am relaxing at night.  How in the world can a black bean brownie be a satisfying snack?  It defies logic.

* Edited to add that my Mom refused to cook or serve meat when I was growing up.  The only meat substitute items in the 70's came out of a can and they tasted like ass.  She still wouldn't have made black bean brownies.
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: lastparker on October 21, 2014, 12:31:57 PM
Personally, I don't have a problem with black beans in brownies.

Think of the quality of farts, for example. It's the gift that keeps on giving.  :-)

Seriously..... Beans AND chocolate???  My husband would never get out of the bathroom.
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: njpines on October 21, 2014, 12:42:32 PM
Actually, I'm kind of surprised that beans is the ingredient they are discussing. Unless "beans" is a euphamism for what strain of pot they're adding.
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: Eupher on October 21, 2014, 12:45:46 PM
Seriously..... Beans AND chocolate???  My husband would never get out of the bathroom.

Just think of it as an exotic mole. (The stomach will catch up later!)  :lmao:
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: Eupher on October 21, 2014, 12:46:57 PM
Actually, I'm kind of surprised that beans is the ingredient they are discussing. Unless "beans" is a euphamism for what strain of pot they're adding.

George Carlin reminisced about a particularly virulent form of pot he scored once called "Toledo Window Box."

Hey, I think they've got beans in Toledo, right?  :-)
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: miskie on October 21, 2014, 12:48:52 PM
Personally, I don't have a problem with black beans in brownies.

Think of the quality of farts, for example. It's the gift that keeps on giving.  :-)

I suppose it could be looked at as another brASS instrument to master.. The colonphone ?

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZioxlZhyrM[/youtube]
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: Eupher on October 21, 2014, 12:52:49 PM
The "banjo" was a little flat. It's a good thing I don't have "smellavision".  :tongue:
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: miskie on October 21, 2014, 12:55:43 PM
The "banjo" was a little flat. It's a good thing I don't have "smellavision".  :tongue:

Indeed. Between the video and the DUmmies recipe, this thread would probably be classed as a biological weapon.
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: BlueStateSaint on October 21, 2014, 01:52:40 PM
Indeed. Between the video and the DUmmies recipe, this thread would probably be classed as a biological weapon.

A chemical weapon, at least. :whistling: :runaway:
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: obumazombie on October 21, 2014, 02:57:11 PM
Good food is measured by being able to enjoy it 3 times.
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: DefiantSix on October 22, 2014, 12:47:18 AM
I wonder how hard it would be to convince the DUmbshits to substitute pressings from the castor bean for the black beans?  Just for something different, you understand...


 :popcorn:
Title: Re: primitive put beans into brownies. Beans. BEANS.
Post by: Wineslob on October 22, 2014, 10:25:17 AM
A chemical weapon, at least. :whistling: :runaway:


A weapon of mAss destruction?