The Conservative Cave

Current Events => Politics => Topic started by: Chris_ on August 30, 2014, 02:11:00 PM

Title: Government publishes detailed instructions on how to safely roast marshmallows
Post by: Chris_ on August 30, 2014, 02:11:00 PM
Quote
Government publishes detailed instructions on how to safely roast marshmallows

The U.S. Forest Service on Friday published a nearly 700-word article on how to safely roast marshmallows, all in preparation for Saturday, which is National Roasted Marshmallow Day.

As one might expect, the article is riddled with safety tips that might make you think twice about even carrying matches into the forest at all, let alone actually igniting a marshmallow and putting your family’s life at risk.

And if a whole marshmallow is a little too much for your overweight kids, the article suggests scrapping the whole idea of roasting marshmallows, and instead using marshmallow creme out of a jar.
The Blaze (http://www.theblaze.com/blog/2014/08/29/government-publishes-detailed-instructions-on-how-to-safely-roast-marshmallows/)

Can you imagine coming into work and being asked to write this?  I think I'd be looking for another job.
Title: Re: Government publishes detailed instructions on how to safely roast marshmallows
Post by: JohnnyReb on August 30, 2014, 02:46:35 PM
Government worker making something simple difficult so as to justify his job and high salary.

Stack wood, strike match, poke marsh mellow with stick, roast.....10 words.
Title: Re: Government publishes detailed instructions on how to safely roast marshmallows
Post by: thundley4 on August 30, 2014, 07:33:42 PM
I'm surprised that it was only 700 words and not 700 pages.
Title: Re: Government publishes detailed instructions on how to safely roast marshmallows
Post by: SVPete on August 30, 2014, 11:38:15 PM
But ... but ... think of all those people burned to death by molten marshmallows!
Title: Re: Government publishes detailed instructions on how to safely roast marshmallows
Post by: Dori on August 31, 2014, 12:39:29 PM
More government waste.  I bet we could cut have the crap they do and no one would even notice.



Title: Re: Government publishes detailed instructions on how to safely roast marshmallows
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on August 31, 2014, 01:04:33 PM
I'm surprised that it was only 700 words and not 700 pages.

Same here.

Also surprised that Moochelle would allow marshmellows to be referred to at all.  Bad for you, dontcha know...what about broccoli and brussel sprouts or something healthier?

Maybe I shouldn't be giving them any ideas.
Title: Re: Government publishes detailed instructions on how to safely roast marshmallows
Post by: Ptarmigan on August 31, 2014, 01:14:05 PM
I'm surprised that it was only 700 words and not 700 pages.

700 words is excessive for that right there.
Title: Re: Government publishes detailed instructions on how to safely roast marshmallows
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on August 31, 2014, 04:40:22 PM
Government worker making something simple difficult so as to justify his job and high salary.

Stack wood, strike match, poke marsh mellow with stick, roast.....10 words.

Nah, somebody wrote that because his boss told him to, and his boss told him to because some shithead's shithead kid will get burned screwing it up, then the shithead family will hire a sleazeball personal-injury attorney and sue the Feds over it...and so they publish all this shit so as to forestall the whole problem of idiots and fire, and to help with the defense in case they manage to f*** it up anyway.
Title: Re: Government publishes detailed instructions on how to safely roast marshmallows
Post by: Alaska Slim on August 31, 2014, 11:57:59 PM
Reminds me of when I wrote a Technical Manuel for making a PBJ. Got an "A" on that assignment, would have to give the Government an "F". For everything.