The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: Dori on August 14, 2014, 12:56:17 PM

Title: Jar Lids, Ice Trays And Evil Spirits Torture The Witch
Post by: Dori on August 14, 2014, 12:56:17 PM
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018650824

Quote
TorchTheWitch (9,597 posts)

Are peanut butter jars purposely made so that
 
the damn lids don't want to screw on straight? I don't think I've ever had a jar of peanut butter of any brand that didn't constantly do this crap. I've never once had this problem with the jam jars... or mayo jars, or pickle jars or mustard jars, or any other kind of jar.

And just what the hell are they thinking with that inch thick slab of cardboard cemented to the top of the jar under the lid for tampering safety? Cripes, you need a damn jackhammer to get that thing off, and it only comes off in bits and pieces leaving a ring of cemented cardboard around the rim of the jar that you need a razor blade to scrape off, and if you don't it only makes it that much more impossible to screw the stinking lid on straight!

I think this pisses me off even more than some asswagon putting an ice cube tray back in the freezer empty... or with one single cube.

................ice tray?  Ice cubes just fall out of my refrigerator door
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Star Member mnhtnbb (13,854 posts)

2. I can't stop laughing.
 
I don't know why it tickles me so much.

It's the little stuff that bugs the hell out of you, isn't it, when all around everything
is for shit? I mean, c'mon, you can't even get the damn lid to work on the peanut
butter jar, for cris'sakes.

.....careful, the witch might put a spell on you, maggot.

Quote
TorchTheWitch (9,597 posts)

5. just so
 
That's what happens when you get older (that's my excuse anyway). The big things flow off you like water off the back of a duck, but the little things drive you bananas.

Empty ice cube trays in the freezer make me want to go medieval on someone's backside. But since I live alone except for the dog if there's an empty ice cube tray in the freezer it pisses me off even more that it had to have been me that did it. I've serioiusly considered trying to come up with a way to blame it on the dog.
 

......calm down witchy poo, it's not you, it's those evil yard gnomes doing it.

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Sun Aug 10, 2014, 09:43 AM

TorchTheWitch (9,597 posts)

7. now THERE's and idea!
 
That's it. My house must be haunted by some evil spirit that puts empty ice cube trays back in the freezer, takes the roll of toilet paper off the spindle and just rests it on top so eventually it will fall into the open toilet (of course before I've had a chance to flush), puts the OJ container back in the fridge with only half a teaspoon of juice left in it making me think I don't need to buy more OJ yet, and throws the bathmat back on the floor so the dog will eat it because he's convinced it's another animal, and he doesn't like to share me.

Terrible evil spirit mucking up my peaceful living.




 

Title: Re: Jar Lids, Ice Trays And Evil Spirits Torture The Witch
Post by: JohnnyReb on August 14, 2014, 01:05:32 PM
Her house needs a good smudging....I suggest 1 gallon of gas in 4 gallons of diesel fuel spread evenly throughout the house, then turn on any or all the gas appliances and light a match.
Title: Re: Jar Lids, Ice Trays And Evil Spirits Torture The Witch
Post by: Carl on August 14, 2014, 01:07:14 PM
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2356972


Horse with no Name Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore    Mon Oct-09-06 07:24 PM
Original message
I'm SO SICK of Bush's Amerikkka
   
I went to buy a head of cabbage at the store today...and ended up choosing something else because I simply don't trust it.
Is there ANYTHING that turdburger hasn't ****ed up?? :mad:






Not a sane one among them.
Title: Re: Jar Lids, Ice Trays And Evil Spirits Torture The Witch
Post by: thundley4 on August 14, 2014, 01:25:26 PM
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TorchTheWitch (9,597 posts)

How has this DUmmie lasted this long on the Island with that name. They are literally calling for the death of people that belong to a protected class on the Island.
Title: Re: Jar Lids, Ice Trays And Evil Spirits Torture The Witch
Post by: Dori on August 14, 2014, 01:36:02 PM
Her house needs a good smudging....I suggest 1 gallon of gas in 4 gallons of diesel fuel spread evenly throughout the house, then turn on any or all the gas appliances and light a match.

That reminds me, the magic herb does that smudging thing.  Maybe she can help the tortured witch with her evil spirits.

http://conservativecave.com/index.php?topic=94839.msg1196319#msg1196319

Title: Re: Jar Lids, Ice Trays And Evil Spirits Torture The Witch
Post by: FlippyDoo on August 14, 2014, 03:58:12 PM
Quote
Sun Aug 10, 2014, 09:43 AM

TorchTheWitch (9,597 posts)

7. now THERE's and idea!
 
That's it. My house must be haunted by some evil spirit that puts empty ice cube trays back in the freezer, takes the roll of toilet paper off the spindle and just rests it on top so eventually it will fall into the open toilet (of course before I've had a chance to flush), puts the OJ container back in the fridge with only half a teaspoon of juice left in it making me think I don't need to buy more OJ yet, and throws the bathmat back on the floor so the dog will eat it because he's convinced it's another animal, and he doesn't like to share me.

Terrible evil spirit mucking up my peaceful living.

Dear TorchTheWitch,
I'm so glad I found this and hope that I found it before you smudged your home. It appears as if you are suffering from a classic Class D event and smudging will only make it worse. Much worse. Terrible beyond words.

For a Class D event you need a much more natural and earth friendly solution. You need to find some full strength, all natural skunk oil. It can be found in some hunting supply stores and even online at places like Bass Pro Shops. Take the skunk oil and sprinkle it throughout your dwelling. Especially let it soak into any drapery and furniture. Once you have done this your Class D event will cease and no one will bother your stuff. No one will bother your stuff in any way.

No need to thank me. That's what your friendly neighborhood fictional spirit-guide is here for.
Title: Re: Jar Lids, Ice Trays And Evil Spirits Torture The Witch
Post by: Bad Dog on August 14, 2014, 05:32:28 PM
Dear TorchTheWitch,
I'm so glad I found this and hope that I found it before you smudged your home. It appears as if you are suffering from a classic Class D event and smudging will only make it worse. Much worse. Terrible beyond words.

For a Class D event you need a much more natural and earth friendly solution. You need to find some full strength, all natural skunk oil. It can be found in some hunting supply stores and even online at places like Bass Pro Shops. Take the skunk oil and sprinkle it throughout your dwelling. Especially let it soak into any drapery and furniture. Once you have done this your Class D event will cease and no one will bother your stuff. No one will bother your stuff in any way.

No need to thank me. That's what your friendly neighborhood fictional spirit-guide is here for.

That skunk oil also works great on your hair, beautiful luster.
Title: Re: Jar Lids, Ice Trays And Evil Spirits Torture The Witch
Post by: Jar Head on August 14, 2014, 06:15:02 PM
Horse with no Name Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore    Mon Oct-09-06 07:24 PM
Original message
I'm SO SICK of Bush's Amerikkka
   
I went to buy a head of cabbage at the store today...and ended up choosing something else because I simply don't trust it.
Is there ANYTHING that turdburger hasn't ****ed up?? :mad:


A classic from the pecker checker.
Title: Re: Jar Lids, Ice Trays And Evil Spirits Torture The Witch
Post by: Big Dog on August 15, 2014, 10:42:05 PM
Quote
TorchTheWitch (9,597 posts)

Are peanut butter jars purposely made so that the damn lids don't want to screw on straight?

Jerry Seinfeld did that bit 20 years ago.

It wasn't funny then, either.
Title: Re: Jar Lids, Ice Trays And Evil Spirits Torture The Witch
Post by: Big Dog on August 15, 2014, 10:44:54 PM
I thought this thread was going to be about franksolich's pal, Mo the Chicken Witch.

I'm disappointed that it was not. I have no doubt she's equally bedeviled, outsmarted, and outwitted by such things as peanut butter jars and ice cube trays.
Title: Re: Jar Lids, Ice Trays And Evil Spirits Torture The Witch
Post by: Chris_ on August 15, 2014, 10:48:01 PM
Jerry Seinfeld did that bit 20 years ago.

It wasn't funny then, either.
At least TTW is wearing clothes.