HockeyMom (12,383 posts) Tue Aug 5, 2014, 03:58 PM
My husband's heart attack and our gay daughter in Florida
It horrified her in more ways than one. My husband and I are all alone in Florida. My husband had to be resuscitated 4 times. I was asked to sign all the paperwork for him, but after that the hospital told me NOTHING. Our gay daughter borrowed money to fly down from NY to see her Dad and help me out.
That hospital told us NOTHING about his condition; neither me as his legally straight married wife and also his biological daughter. We both had to start yelling and screaming at the hospital in order to get any satisfaction from them. Hello, Florida, a STRAIGHT wife and BIOLOGICAL daughter cannot demand to be informed of their relatives condition? It was not until after this fiasco that we threatened them did they comply with our wishes, but they even went out of their way (private suite at no extra cost) to appease/shut us up?
My married in NY gay daughter commented on what would have happened if either she or her wife was in this situation. Sorry, you are not legally married in Florida, so you have no rights whatsoever. Oh, man, it was difficult enough with being legally recognized as a straight married woman, and a natural born daughter, to demand our family rights, but just imagine what would have happened if it had been a life or death situation between legally married gay couples from another state?
A life threatening health crisis is difficult enough without having to deal with whether the spouses out of state marriages will be recognized in other states. Besides her Dad's crisis, this also terrified my daughter.
Warpy (77,768 posts) Tue Aug 5, 2014, 04:53 PM
5. It was likely some drone in a suit who misread HIPAA
but yes, this is unconscionable. First degree relatives are to be informed unless the patient has put it into writing that they are not to be, as in a domestic abuse relationship or during the process of a messy divorce. Your dad was in no position to put anything into writing.
A written complaint to the hospital administration should be submitted along with a copy to "complaints" here: http://elderaffairs.state.fl.us/doea/hipaa.php .
My guess is that they'll hire somebody who knows how to read to interpret HIPAA from now on.
SheilaT (15,262 posts) Tue Aug 5, 2014, 04:55 PM
6. I can't begin to guess if the problem you've come up against here
originates with the state of Florida, or with that particular hospital, but I suspect it's the hospital.
I know it's easy for me to say, but you might want to move to a better state. There are other things in life besides whether or not you shovel snow off your cars in the middle of winter.
In any case, in a few more years court cases will make all marriages not bigamous or otherwise unlawful, completely legal. Meanwhile, if a particular hospital or state makes things difficult for the nearest of kin to learn anything, other changes need to be implemented.
It is also important you understand that you are entitled to access to all of your medical records, and you and your spouse to each other's. The doctor or hospital can charge you, but these days since almost everything is digital, the charges are often minimal.
You also need to have a heart to heart talk about this with your primary care physician.
Divernan (11,252 posts) Tue Aug 5, 2014, 07:00 PM
10. HIPPA absolutely requires written authorization from the PATIENT to release info
Actually, sounds like the hospital violated HIPPA by giving you or your daughter the info. It's a pain in the ass, I know. But that's the law of the land. So every one should execute a medical power of attorney and also an authorization for release of medical information, naming an adult, whether their spouse, close friend, relative, etc. to give that person medical power of attorney AND HIPPA release form. Provide a copy to each of your doctors, to be put in your file. Keep a copy in the car glovebox. Take one with you when you travel. Keep the original handy to take with you to the ER or hospital.
You can find these on line - get one for your particular state.
HIPPA's been around a long time. My family, friends and I have had to use these on numerous occasions over the years. Local hospitals usually can provide these forms as recognized by your particular state. Unfortunately, if your loved one is non compos mentis from whatever medical condition exists, they cannot execute such a form while they're in that condition
As to your gay daughter who's married, it makes absolutely no difference re HIPPA or executing a medical power of attorney whether she's single, married gay or straight. The only thing that matters is that the patient has named a particular adult to hold these powers and to have access to medical information.
This terrifying experience with your husband would have been avoided if you'd had these forms. They cost nothing to download from the internet.
Here's a link to a form used in Texas, just as an example:
http://www.nami.org/Content/Microsites180/NAMI_Dallas_Inc_/Home167/Privacy_Forms/Medical_Power
liberalhistorian (19,515 posts) Tue Aug 5, 2014, 07:29 PM
12. Sorry, but I think you're wrong.
It's my understanding that HIPAA does not prevent advising a legal spouse of the other spouse's condition in a medical emergency (nor should it, frankly). I have never heard of a hospital refusing to communicate medical conditions with a legal spouse, especially in an emergency. This is just nuts. Then again, hospitals all over the place have been acting crazier and crazier lately.*
Gormy Cuss (28,629 posts) Tue Aug 5, 2014, 07:49 PM
15. No, that's not true.
They must seek consent if the patient is alert and able to give it or at least give the patient the opportunity to object. If the patient is incapacitated or otherwise incapable of providing consent, the medical team can exercise good judgment on whether to share information with family and friends. See section 2 here:
http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/privacy/hipaa/understanding/coveredentities/provider_ffg.pdf
HockeyMom (12,383 posts) Tue Aug 5, 2014, 03:58 PM
My husband's heart attack and our gay daughter in Florida
It horrified her in more ways than one. My husband and I are all alone in Florida. My husband had to be resuscitated 4 times. I was asked to sign all the paperwork for him, but after that the hospital told me NOTHING. Our gay daughter borrowed money to fly down from NY to see her Dad and help me out.
That hospital told us NOTHING about his condition; neither me as his legally straight married wife and also his biological daughter. We both had to start yelling and screaming at the hospital in order to get any satisfaction from them. Hello, Florida, a STRAIGHT wife and BIOLOGICAL daughter cannot demand to be informed of their relatives condition? It was not until after this fiasco that we threatened them did they comply with our wishes, but they even went out of their way (private suite at no extra cost) to appease/shut us up?
My married in NY gay daughter commented on what would have happened if either she or her wife was in this situation. Sorry, you are not legally married in Florida, so you have no rights whatsoever. Oh, man, it was difficult enough with being legally recognized as a straight married woman, and a natural born daughter, to demand our family rights, but just imagine what would have happened if it had been a life or death situation between legally married gay couples from another state?
A life threatening health crisis is difficult enough without having to deal with whether the spouses out of state marriages will be recognized in other states. Besides her Dad's crisis, this also terrified my daughter.
Gotta hand it to her. Trying to gain sympathy and build Lefty cred at the same time. Lol. My gay daughter this, my gay daughter that, did I mention my daughter is gay? So on and so forth.
No matter how successful democrats are in destroying human decency and morality, no "daughter" will ever have a "wife".
Ha Ha Ha that part always cracks me up. No you are not married, you are just pretending.
My gay daughter this, my gay daughter that, did I mention my daughter is gay? So on and so forth.
The funny thing about this bouncy tale is the queerness of the daughter has nothing to do with the story.
It's just gratuitously thrown in for no purpose but to polish the OP's DUmp cred.
It's like how the hateful old crones in the cooking group will mention that an ingredient in an imaginary dinner was purchased at Trader Joe's.
HockeyMom (12,383 posts) Tue Aug 5, 2014, 03:58 PM
My husband's heart attack and our gay daughter in Florida
So I guess the "daughter" is butch, right?
Response to ismnotwasm (Original post)Sat Aug 9, 2014, 02:54 PMhttp://www.democraticunderground.com/125548936
HockeyMom (12,393 posts)
10. Mini-skirts back in the 60s
I worked for a fashion house in Manhattan back then. All the construction workers used to cat call all the women walking by. Annoyed me to no end. When the latest style of longer skirts (slits up the leg) came out, I wholeheartedly wore those. I got a lot of boos with that, but ONE MAN actually said he liked it. "I find that MORE sexy by leaving more to my imagination", he said one day. I actually stopped and gave him a big smile and thank you for that one. His coworkers didn't like that I actually stopped and acknowledged his comment. lol