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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: Big Dog on July 31, 2014, 11:34:20 PM

Title: The Chronicles of gNads - The Ensenada Kerfunkle
Post by: Big Dog on July 31, 2014, 11:34:20 PM: Note: The following is a work of fiction. With apologies to John Milius and Francis Ford Coppola.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSUIQgEVDM4[/youtube]

"San Diego. Shit, I'm still in San Diego."

(http://animationsa2z.com/attachments/Image/fans/ventilator3.gif)

"Every time, I think I'm gonna wake up back in Ensenada. Don't ask me about Ensenada. That Lieutenant with his battle riffle and sidearm in my marked ambulance still works a mind-**** on me. I wish I didn't know this shit, for ****'s face.

"When I was home after my first tour, it was worse. When I was there, I wanted to be here. When I was home, all I wanted was to be back on the Baja, rappelling into the shit with nothing but my Bowie knife and The Good Rig. I was between a rock and a fireplace.

"I'm here a week now... no fires or city council meetings to report on... getting softer. Every minute I sit in front of this scanner, I get weaker; and every minute he squats in that Ensenada dust, he gets stronger.

"Every time I looked around, the walls moved in a little tighter.

"Everyone gets everything they want. I wanted a mission, and for my sins they gave me one. And I knew it was going to be crunchy"

...To be continued
Title: Re: The Chronicles of gNads - The Ensenada Kerfunkle
Post by: Bad Dog on July 31, 2014, 11:43:18 PM: Epic BD, H-5.
Title: Re: The Chronicles of gNads - The Ensenada Kerfunkle
Post by: Big Dog on July 31, 2014, 11:46:11 PM: dutch and franksolich have stories going, so I am going to pace this story more slowly out of respect for them.
Title: Re: The Chronicles of gNads - The Ensenada Kerfunkle
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on July 31, 2014, 11:50:54 PM: That story arc could go all the way across the Rubicon. Well done!

:cheersmate:
Title: Re: The Chronicles of gNads - The Ensenada Kerfunkle
Post by: BlueStateSaint on August 01, 2014, 05:16:52 AM: Quote from: DumbAss Tanker on July 31, 2014, 11:50:54 PM
That story arc could go all the way across the Rubicon. Well done!

:cheersmate:

On an arc, even! H5, BD!
Title: Re: The Chronicles of gNads - The Ensenada Kerfunkle
Post by: franksolich on August 01, 2014, 07:05:47 AM: Great start, Big Dog!

Anxiously awaiting other chapters!

Don't worry about others' literary efforts; the DUmpster can always use good material.
Title: Re: The Chronicles of gNads - The Ensenada Kerfunkle
Post by: franksolich on August 01, 2014, 08:31:35 AM: This by the way is based upon:

Quote
nadinbrzezinski (107,837 posts) Sun Aug 5, 2012, 12:32 AM

Ok this was embarrasing

We are working on a story involving native people in Mexico. So I needed to send an Email to proceso, one of the top political magazines. It took me literally ten minutes to compose an email in Spanish... my native tongue.

So, the obvious thing is I NEED PRACTICE... damn I really do. So converted my IPOD to a Spanish computer and started plotting a short piece of fiction that will be done in Spanish. It will take me longer than English, but damn I need the practice. That was well, very embarrassing.

Ten minutes. Damn!

And that story better NOT involve going down to Ensenada, there are way too many personal safety concerns on that one.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1202544

At the time (please notice the date of the post), I was curious as to why the cousin was reluctant to go down to Ensenada, which isn't that far from San Diego, barely a hop-skip-jump across the border.

I inquired of their tourism people, and it appears Ensenada's a pretty nice place to go.
Title: Re: The Chronicles of gNads - The Ensenada Kerfunkle
Post by: BlueStateSaint on August 01, 2014, 08:50:44 AM: Quote from: franksolich on August 01, 2014, 08:31:35 AM
This by the way is based upon:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1202544

At the time (please notice the date of the post), I was curious as to why the cousin was reluctant to go down to Ensenada, which isn't that far from San Diego, barely a hop-skip-jump across the border.

I inquired of their tourism people, and it appears Ensenada's a pretty nice place to go.

The donkey population is still holding a grudge against her. :whistling:
Title: Re: The Chronicles of gNads - The Ensenada Kerfunkle
Post by: JakeStyle on August 01, 2014, 09:27:19 AM: Quote from: franksolich on August 01, 2014, 08:31:35 AM
This by the way is based upon:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1202544

At the time (please notice the date of the post), I was curious as to why the cousin was reluctant to go down to Ensenada, which isn't that far from San Diego, barely a hop-skip-jump across the border.

I inquired of their tourism people, and it appears Ensenada's a pretty nice place to go.

A retired friend of mine owns a beach house down there, it's a great place to visit. The only time I would avoid going is during memorial day and labor day weekends, and during spring break, when the whole town gets overrun with drunken college aged gringos.
Title: Re: The Chronicles of gNads - The Ensenada Kerfunkle
Post by: wasp69 on August 01, 2014, 12:13:08 PM: Quote from: Big Dog on July 31, 2014, 11:34:20 PM
"San Diego. Shit, I'm still in San Diego."

(http://animationsa2z.com/attachments/Image/fans/ventilator3.gif)

:lmao:
Title: Re: The Chronicles of gNads - The Ensenada Kerfunkle
Post by: Big Dog on August 04, 2014, 10:19:24 PM: Nadin heard a knock at the door. She pulled the footstool up to the door and peered through the peephole. She could see two men, wearing the uniforms of the Mexican Red Cross. She reached under her journo vest and grasped the handle of her Bowie knife, then opened the door.

"Por que?", she asked.

The taller of the two men said, "Mande, senor. We are looking for El Capitan Brzezinski, formerly of the Mexican Red Cross."

"For ****'s face, I am El Capitan Brzezinski," Nadin growled, as she released her grip on the knife handle, turned her back on the men, and walked back into the room.

"A thousand pardons, El Capitan. I was told that you were a woman. Some surgery, perhaps?"

"Hey, are you gonna shut that door?" Nadin asked impatiently.

The two men quickly entered and shut the door behind them.

Nadin peered at them through bleary eyes. The taller man wore the rank of El Major, and the other man's uniform was unadorned by rank or name tag. Nadin knew what that meant. There was only one unit in the Mexican Red Cross who could have sent these men across the border and onto her doorstep. Her old unit, the team whose name could not be spoken aloud, on pain of death. She wished she didn't know that shit.

"Are you El Capitan Nadin Brzezinski Abbott, 501st Special Medical Squadron, El Cruz de Rojo?" asked El Major, as he read from a dossier. He pronounced "Brzezinski" as only a Mexican could. He looked at the picture inside, then at Nadin skeptically. He could smell lemon floor wax on her breath, and wondered if she had been drinking it like a Tijuanica, or merely rubbing it on her gums, as was the practice in certain parts of Baja California.

"I'm retired", she replied.

"Our files indicate that you are a master of disguise, but I did not expect such a convincing impersonation of that great norteamericano, Benjamin Franklin. Does that disguise allow you to move among the gringos undetected?

Nadin glared at the major. She knew a bully when she saw one. She hadn't noticed that the other man, the one without rank or name, was watching her intently.

"Ask me again,", she grunted.

"Fue sin querer, senora", El Major replied. "I meant no offense."

"Ask me again, and you'll find yourself on the iggy list."

"What is this "eegy" you speak of?"

Nadin said, "Never mind. We'll cross the Rubicon when we come to it."

The two men exchanged worried looks. The major feared Nadin's predilection for lemon floor wax had damaged her brain; while the mystery man merely wished to be somewhere, anywhere but there.

"El capitan, we have been sent by those whom you know - I hardly need say their names - to ask your assistance on a most delicate mission. Much as your past mission, in the wilds of Bellevue, Nebraska", the major struggled with the pronunciation, "you must infiltrate a hostile place alone. Those who sent us wish to impress upon you the importance of this mission, and to tell you that you are the only person they trust to complete it with skill and discretion."

The man without a name spoke for the first time. "We can say no more, unless you agree to the mission."

Nadin was silent.

After about a minute, the men realized she had nodded off. "Damned lemon floor wax. Come on, Pedro, give me a hand", the major said to his partner. Together, they dragged Nadin to the shower, and she woke up screaming under the cold spray.

To be continued.
Title: Re: The Chronicles of gNads - The Ensenada Kerfunkle
Post by: Ptarmigan on August 04, 2014, 11:38:43 PM: DUmmies are toxic people. :mental:
Title: Re: The Chronicles of gNads - The Ensenada Kerfunkle
Post by: Big Dog on August 10, 2014, 10:24:48 PM: I've had a busy week, and won't have time to get back to this story until Tuesday or Wednesday evening.
Title: Re: The Chronicles of gNads - The Ensenada Kerfunkle
Post by: blitzkrieg_17 on August 11, 2014, 09:59:37 AM: Quote
Together, they dragged Nadin to the shower, and she woke up screaming under the cold spray.

:lmao: H5, Big Dog.
Title: Re: The Chronicles of gNads - The Ensenada Kerfunkle
Post by: landofconfusion80 on August 11, 2014, 10:27:16 AM: The music while reading that is outstanding! could you add a soundtrack to each installment? definitely sets the mood to the story.
Title: Re: The Chronicles of gNads - The Ensenada Kerfunkle
Post by: CollectivismMustDie on August 11, 2014, 06:34:21 PM: Quote
I was told that you were a woman. Some surgery, perhaps?"

:rotf: :rotf: :rotf:

Hi-5

CMD