The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on May 31, 2014, 10:46:45 AM

Title: how Skins could jazz up Skins's island
Post by: franksolich on May 31, 2014, 10:46:45 AM
You know, I spent a long time on Skins's island this morning, but came up dry of any material to bring over here.  It seems all the productive primitives are gone, leaving only the brainless, mindless, comatose lumpenunterprimitiven, the faceless lynch mob, to carry the load of making comedic comments.

Which of course is far beyond their means to do.

Skins really needs to jazz up Skins's island; some here have commented it'll get better as the elections come closer, but I'm dubious about that.

The first thing Skins should do is allow only those primitives who know what they're talking about, to post in General Discussion.  This right here's the current major problem, so many clueless primitives yimmer-yammering of things about which they know not.

The second thing Skins should do is allow the primitives to discuss sex, at least in the Lounge, so as to spicen things up, to give the place some animation and appeal.

The third thing Skins should do is compel the hosts and hostesses of the "little" forums--the automotive forum, the cooking and baking forum, the mental health forum, the chronic hypocondriacs' forum, the rural life forum, the flea-market dealers' forum, the writers' forum, the do-it-yourself forum, the jobs forum, &c., &c., &c.--to become more active in posting topics and commenting in those forums, so as to draw an audience.

(As an aside, I should mention that the going-away of poor stupid Beth was not all good, as she'd single-handedly been really active in keeping the "little" forums popping like popcorn.)

The fourth thing Skins should do is cull the membership, getting rid of all the "single issue" primitives, such as that seabeyond bitch, the BainsBane primitive, Wills, the anti-gun nuts, &c., &c., &c., who post about only their pet "issue," and nothing else. 

The fifth thing Skins needs to do is roam the internet and bring back the primitives of quality, who don't hang around Skins's island any more.  Primitives such as the wretched miserable old bitches NanceGreggs and the dysmenopausal Kansas school teacher Anne; the sparkling old dude and his domineering trophy wife; the dysfunctional American, Mrs. Alfred Packer the hippywife primitive, the wall dude, Doug Bulna, the Taverner primitive, the bobbling primitive, the lying tits primitive TomInTib, lil Ava, the phalloscraping primitive MoPaul, Fat Che, the cross-eyed Iowa primitive HawkeyeX, the pilgrim primitive HereSince1628, the locust primitive, &c., &c., &c.

(I don't think it'd be a good idea, though, to bring back primitives such as the subway cat the undergroundpanther primitive or Dennis the Menace, as it's harmful for them to hang around.)

The sixth thing Skins needs to do is give the most boring primitives--such as fat drunken Bill or O'Dorkio--their own individual forums.  They're not "one-issue" primitives who bore us to death, but they bore us anyway, and by having their own forums, those forums can be skipped over when looking for good material for the DUmpster.

Any other ideas?  As it is now, Skins's island is sinking, and needs resuscitated.  Badly.