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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: BattleHymn on April 18, 2014, 12:06:44 PM

Title: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: BattleHymn on April 18, 2014, 12:06:44 PM
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018606945

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Fri Apr 18, 2014, 11:58 AM

Star Member a kennedy (8,220 posts)

I'm terribly embarrassed, but I need grammar help on this little poem please.......
It's for my husband's anniversary card....can someone please correct anything wrong in the grammar department....and thank you.

As in the essence of the Opal......

The ups and downs,

The positives and negatives,

The happy’s the sad’s,

The laughs the cries....

All facets of our 34 years.....

Together, I’ll love you forever.

Quote
Fri Apr 18, 2014, 12:01 PM

Star Member arcane1 (22,604 posts)
1. I'd lose the apostrophes in "happy's" and "sad's", but otherwise I like it :)

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Fri Apr 18, 2014, 12:05 PM

Star Member CaliforniaPeggy (108,511 posts)
3. Happy Anniversary!

I think he'll love it!

And I agree about the apostrophes.

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Fri Apr 18, 2014, 12:20 PM

Star Member onehandle (40,407 posts)
5. Poetry and emotion does not have to be subject to grammar.

This isn't a cover letter for a job application.

Rsmithnumbers has that department covered.

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Fri Apr 18, 2014, 01:05 PM

Ino (1,456 posts)
7. Add commas after happys and laughs

and lose the apostrophes in happys and sads

Beautiful poem!


Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: Dori on April 18, 2014, 12:12:04 PM
It's so easy to see through the Dummy's real intent.
 
She didn't want help with her grammar, she wanted them to read her poem and go gaga over it.



 

Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: Bad Dog on April 18, 2014, 12:13:45 PM
More cowbell.....or, at least a little aching seed.
Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: Skul on April 18, 2014, 12:18:34 PM
What does an Opal have to do with any of that? :???:
It sounds more like a roller coaster ride through a funhouse.
Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: BattleHymn on April 18, 2014, 12:19:06 PM
It's so easy to see through the Dummy's real intent.
 
She didn't want help with her grammar, she wanted them to read her poem and go gaga over it.


B-i-n-g-o.


I'm disappointed to see Calpig showed up, but didn't offer a poem of her own.
Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: Carl on April 18, 2014, 12:42:15 PM
What does an Opal have to do with any of that? :???:
It sounds more like a roller coaster ride through a funhouse.

Guessed it is the "stone" equivalent for whatever year anniversary it is but not so from what I could find.

Just another DUmp lunatic.





Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: Karin on April 18, 2014, 12:56:42 PM
The opal makes zero sense.  And "positive and negative" do not belong in poetry.  Whew boy, is that a stinker.   

Even losing the apostrophes in the happy's and sad's doesn't improve it, as those are not nouns*.  What a moron this DUmmie is. 


*Except in LOL cat memes, e.g. "I haz a sad."  Not for someone married for 34 years. 

Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: BlueStateSaint on April 18, 2014, 03:03:09 PM
More cowbell.....or, at least a little aching seed.

Blink, blink, blink, blink . . .
Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: GOP Congress on April 18, 2014, 04:13:51 PM
Fixed it

As in the essence of the Opal......
(more likely the fragrance of the Bong......)

The ups and downs,
(I mean uppers and downers)

The positives and negatives,
(The relatives and the sedatives)

The happy’s the sad’s,
(and other adjective plurizations)

The laughs the cries....
(The snivels the whines)

All facets of our 34 years.....
(All the face sags of three wasted decades)

Together, I’ll love you forever.
(Otherwise my life will be for naught....OH WAIT....)
Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: FlippyDoo on April 18, 2014, 04:48:52 PM
The word “Opal” has the “O” capitalized. When that is taken into consideration along with the propensity the DUmmies have for misspelling words there is a chance that the DUmmie is actually referring to an Opel automobile.

If so the poem could be paraphrased thusly…

Our marriage is like an old car: rusty and in constant need of repair.
Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: Alpha Mare on April 18, 2014, 06:58:39 PM
Opals don't have facets.
Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: Dori on April 18, 2014, 07:04:33 PM
Opals don't have facets.

I wondered about that.  Don't think I've ever seen one with facets.

Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: Big Dog on April 20, 2014, 03:19:38 PM
That "poem" should be sufficient grounds for a divorce.

 :loser: :loser: :loser:
Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: 98ZJUSMC on April 20, 2014, 03:35:29 PM
It's so easy to see through the Dummy's real intent.
 
She didn't want help with her grammar, she wanted them to read her poem and go gaga over it.


I think you're exactly right.

 :cheersmate:
Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: GOBUCKS on May 18, 2014, 12:33:59 PM
Didn't see this before the crash. It's great!

DUmmy a kennedy could be competition for the CalPig as the DUmp's poet laureate.

In fact, she has an advantage.

I see the CalPig's tone-deaf vulgar rambling combined with a hilarious semi-literacy.

It's as if rsmithnumbers tried to emulate Robert Frost.

Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on May 18, 2014, 12:53:48 PM
I'm thinking this DUmmy has bigger problems than punctuation.
Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: Chris_ on May 18, 2014, 01:59:02 PM
Nobody has mentioned the excess periods in the ellipses.
Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: Big Dog on May 18, 2014, 08:05:59 PM
Nobody has mentioned the excess periods in the ellipses.

I figured they were an artistic choice, emphasizing the vagueness of the DUmmy's ideas. They seemed to fit with the facets of an opal being up and down.
Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: I_B_Perky on May 18, 2014, 09:51:57 PM
Quote
Fri Apr 18, 2014, 11:58 AM

Star Member a kennedy (8,220 posts)

I'm terribly embarrassed, but I need grammar help on this little poem please.......
It's for my husband's anniversary card....can someone please correct anything wrong in the grammar department....and thank you.

As in the essence of the Opal......

The ups and downs,

The positives and negatives,

The happy’s the sad’s,

The laughs the cries....

All facets of our 34 years.....

Together, I’ll love you forever.

Let me fix this abortion for you, dummie:

============================================================================
I am an idiot.

A real idiot.

I have no function in life.

Except to suck the welfare tit.

Taking money from people that earn it.

So I can make stupid poems.

That make no sense.

Except in my drug addled mind.

And think I am a genius.

I am a loser.

I post at DU with other losers.

I am laughed at by normal people.

I am a complete idiot.

34 years and this is all I have to show for my life.

My husband waits to die.

He waits for the...

Blink, Blink, Blink of flashing lights.

His last words to paramedic:

Goodbye cruel world. I married a dummie.

===============================================================================

That would be closer to the truth than what you wrote, dummie.
Title: Re: primitive has punctuation problem
Post by: BlueStateSaint on May 19, 2014, 05:06:21 AM
Let me fix this abortion for you, dummie:

============================================================================
I am an idiot.

A real idiot.

I have no function in life.

Except to suck the welfare tit.

Taking money from people that earn it.

So I can make stupid poems.

That make no sense.

Except in my drug addled mind.

And think I am a genius.

I am a loser.

I post at DU with other losers.

I am laughed at by normal people.

I am a complete idiot.

34 years and this is all I have to show for my life.

My husband waits to die.

He waits for the...

Blink, Blink, Blink of flashing lights.

His last words to paramedic:

Goodbye cruel world. I married a dummie.

===============================================================================

That would be closer to the truth than what you wrote, dummie.

:clap: :clap: :clap:

And the H5 to boot.