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Current Events => General Discussion => Topic started by: vesta111 on April 14, 2014, 12:45:33 PM

Title: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
Post by: vesta111 on April 14, 2014, 12:45:33 PM
It is freaking gorgeous out, temp in mid 70's.

Days like this after a long winter I tend to forget I am an old lady. 

I checked out the back, no one sitting on their roof or in a tree and prepared my deck so I could get a good sun soaking.

Got out my thong and robe then searched high and low for sun tan oil-----None to be had but I did have a spray bottle of Pam cooking oil.

I gave myself a good spray, unfortunately it was the butter flavor and the cats and dogs all wanted to lick my legs.

I got out of the house and lay down in the wonderful heat only to doze off now and then awaking up to kick off the cats and dogs that would sneak up to get in a lick or two.

My dog started barking and I heard a loud clunk behind me, sitting up to see the man delivering my propane watching me.

What to do, I put my robe on, wished him a good day and my first day of spring ended after perhaps an hour.  Hot sun and cool wind, perfect day.



Title: Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
Post by: JohnnyReb on April 14, 2014, 12:51:06 PM
 :picsneeded:     

Well, somebody was bound to ask.
Title: Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
Post by: Dori on April 14, 2014, 01:23:15 PM
Vesta, you crack me up... :rofl:
Title: Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
Post by: wasp69 on April 14, 2014, 01:25:07 PM
It is freaking gorgeous out, temp in mid 70's.

Days like this after a long winter I tend to forget I am an old lady. 

I checked out the back, no one sitting on their roof or in a tree and prepared my deck so I could get a good sun soaking.

Got out my thong and robe then searched high and low for sun tan oil-----None to be had but I did have a spray bottle of Pam cooking oil.

I gave myself a good spray, unfortunately it was the butter flavor and the cats and dogs all wanted to lick my legs.

I got out of the house and lay down in the wonderful heat only to doze off now and then awaking up to kick off the cats and dogs that would sneak up to get in a lick or two.

My dog started barking and I heard a loud clunk behind me, sitting up to see the man delivering my propane watching me.

What to do, I put my robe on, wished him a good day and my first day of spring ended after perhaps an hour.  Hot sun and cool wind, perfect day.

So, let me get this straight:  You were sunbathing in a thong, topless, slathered in cooking oil?
Title: Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
Post by: JohnnyReb on April 14, 2014, 01:27:01 PM
So, let me get this straight:  You were sunbathing in a thong, topless, slathered in cooking oil?
That's what she said.....and I was thinking the same thing :lmao:
Title: Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
Post by: Zathras on April 14, 2014, 01:28:30 PM
So, let me get this straight:  You were sunbathing in a thong, topless, slathered in cooking oil?

And then the delivery man shows up?

BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!!!! :naughty:
Title: Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
Post by: njpines on April 14, 2014, 01:38:47 PM
So, let me get this straight:  You were sunbathing in a thong, topless, slathered in cooking oil?

It was even butter flavored!!!!!!  :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:    Must. stop. now.  Sides. hurting.  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Title: Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
Post by: wasp69 on April 14, 2014, 01:45:01 PM
It was even butter flavored!!!!!!  :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:    Must. stop. now.  Sides. hurting.  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

I know a lot of fun can be had with baby oil, but butter flavored cooking oil?  :therock:
Title: Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
Post by: njpines on April 14, 2014, 01:45:24 PM
The Butter Shave -- "Stick a fork in me Jerry, I'm done!"

(https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-KkzMegjJhAo/UFGp6onR9jI/AAAAAAAAAOs/ya5HOKNMvHA/w506-h380/Seinfeld%2BSeason%2B09%2BEpisode%2B01%2B-%2BThe%2BButter%2BShave.mkv_snapshot_10.26_%255B2012.09.13_13.38.43%255D.jpg)

God, I have tears running down my face!   :rofl:
Title: Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
Post by: Dori on April 14, 2014, 02:18:41 PM
I got out of the house and lay down in the wonderful heat only to doze off now and then awaking up to kick off the cats and dogs that would sneak up to get in a lick or two.

(http://i1329.photobucket.com/albums/w556/Doriville/d33fb773-4f32-44e2-87f7-47858f78f95f_zps14aff337.jpg) (http://s1329.photobucket.com/user/Doriville/media/d33fb773-4f32-44e2-87f7-47858f78f95f_zps14aff337.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
Post by: freedumb2003b on April 14, 2014, 02:26:41 PM
(http://i1329.photobucket.com/albums/w556/Doriville/d33fb773-4f32-44e2-87f7-47858f78f95f_zps14aff337.jpg) (http://s1329.photobucket.com/user/Doriville/media/d33fb773-4f32-44e2-87f7-47858f78f95f_zps14aff337.jpg.html)

You realize there is no way you are ever going to Heaven for posting that, right?

LOLOLOLOL
Title: Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
Post by: njpines on April 14, 2014, 02:34:16 PM
 :lol:   Dori!!!!!  This whole thread has made it a happy Monday! I'm still cracking up about it  :-)
Title: Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
Post by: Freeper on April 14, 2014, 02:45:24 PM
So, let me get this straight:  You were sunbathing in a thong, topless, slathered in cooking oil?

She said she got out her thong, didn't say she put it on.
Title: Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
Post by: dutch508 on April 14, 2014, 03:48:48 PM
Tell me this happened like fifty years ago. Please. For the love of God, please...
Title: Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
Post by: wasp69 on April 14, 2014, 03:50:40 PM
She said she got out her thong, didn't say she put it on.

 :runaway:
Title: Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
Post by: vesta111 on April 15, 2014, 07:23:28 AM
She said she got out her thong, didn't say she put it on.

True Freeper, thongs are A bit of A problem. 

First one I bought was the size of what I wear for pantie's, size 6.  Darn talk about getting a wedgie, horrible.
Title: Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
Post by: vesta111 on April 15, 2014, 07:34:40 AM
True Freeper, thongs are A bit of A problem. 

First one I bought was the size of what I wear for pantie's, size 6.  Darn talk about getting a wedgie, horrible.

Sorry hit wrong button------ At the gym I approached  woman perhaps 30 years younger then me in the locker room and asked how one could wear such a thing comfortably.

Answer was to buy one 2 sizes bigger then panties  it worked for me.   

Women's locker rooms are interesting, I have some strange tales to tell of those places As I Am sure the men do also on their locker rooms.