The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on February 10, 2014, 06:42:19 PM
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No longer are they stalwart defenders of the oppressed greeted by the applause of admiring onlookers.
Now they are terrorized by their imaginations and shrinking from their social duty because of they evil, gun-toting hate mongers.
redstatebluegirl (781 posts)
Today I should have said something and didn't I am very angry with myself.
I was in a local business today having my car worked on. I overheard a conversation about one of the young men at the counter who was Hispanic. He was a very nice young man, seemed to enjoy his job and care about the customers. These two men were making some horrible racist comments. I shot them a look but ignored them. I'm always afraid they are "carrying" and would harm me.
The next time I promise to speak up, remaining silent gives them permission to be bigots!
JI7 (44,255 posts)
1. i don't think you were wrong in thinking they could be armed
Proof that an armed society is a polite society.
Also proof that as soon as the Proglodytes decide to step out-of-line en masse they won't last past lunch.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024477722
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Seriously now.
Okay, I'm deaf; I have no idea what hearing people can hear.
If such comments actually were made--I'm however dubious--wouldn't they be kind of, well, whispered or hushed, rather than out loud?
Can hearing people hear that well, from several feet away in a place that reasonably has other noises going on, obscuring what's being whispered or muttered?
I'll bet the guys were talking about the latest hog prices, and the primitive made it up into this.
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It's almost, oh, I dunno, NEVER that I hear people I KNOW making racial comments. And among strangers? AYFKM?
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It's almost, oh, I dunno, NEVER that I hear people I KNOW making racial comments. And among strangers? AYFKM?
Never. Ever. Even Democrats don't. :rotf:
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Frank, have you ever been so lost in thought that you "zone out" and your field of vision sort of blanks...except where something is moving?
I used to drive fairly long distances for a living and would get into a "zone" where I would "see" other traffic, lights, signs...but would "snap out" of it realizing that I had just driven a stretch of curvy road without consciously turning the wheel in reaction to the route profile.
Similarly, I have been in environments where a particular odor has been predominate: new paint and carpet, for instance, or the old oil smell of a garage. After a while the sense of smell diminishes until a new smell intrudes; a plate of warm cookies or a gas burner coming on, for instance.
I find that it is similar with sound. Environmental sounds fade, and if they aren't too loud thay can become so much a part of the background that they escape notice. One might hear the furnace come on, and then hear it come on again, without having taken notice that it had turned off. Contrasting sounds, especially voices or music as opposed to mechanical tapping or whooshy air noises, attract notice and get through the "filter".
So it might be that a conversation, even at low to moderate volume, could be heard at some distance, especially in an area with a lot of hard surfaces (few curtains or rugs to absorb the sound) such as the customer area of an automotive service business.
Or, the psych meds the DUmmie is taking have caused him to hear the voices, which he has misattributed to the other customers...
Or DUmmies lie...all the time...
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Seriously now.
Okay, I'm deaf; I have no idea what hearing people can hear.
If such comments actually were made--I'm however dubious--wouldn't they be kind of, well, whispered or hushed, rather than out loud?
Oh, not at all Coach. We non-hearing-impaired use finely acquired bass voices as loud as we can. We generally start slapping each other on the back and crack beers in the waiting room talking about NASCAR and such. Most of the time, we pull out concealed Thompson Sub-Machine guns and start asking for directions to the nearest school. Other times, we just shoot holes in the ceiling.
God, these idiots are deranged. :whatever:
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I used to drive fairly long distances for a living and would get into a "zone" where I would "see" other traffic, lights, signs...but would "snap out" of it realizing that I had just driven a stretch of curvy road without consciously turning the wheel in reaction to the route profile.
Heh....On Convoy. Been there, done that. :-)
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How do DUmmies plan to win the armed revolution if the very thought that someone "MIGHT" have a gun makes them wet their pants?
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I used to drive fairly long distances for a living and would get into a "zone" where I would "see" other traffic, lights, signs...but would "snap out" of it realizing that I had just driven a stretch of curvy road without consciously turning the wheel in reaction to the route profile.
So many times I have pulled into my driveway with no memory of the drive from my office, which included some very tricky freeway changes and downtown traffic. :o
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redstatebluegirl
I'm always afraid they are "carrying" and would harm me.
Your fears are unfounded, primitive. Believe me, we don't have to be "carrying" to make you wish you had kept your stupid little thoughts to yourself.
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So many times I have pulled into my driveway with no memory of the drive from my office, which included some very tricky freeway changes and downtown traffic. :o
I've been working at the same place for almost ten years, and I couldn't tell you anything about one single solitary drive into work after I switched to day shift. I'm convinced I could sleep through the entire commute, and just let muscle memory take over.
I hate working days.
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Dear DUmmie: Half my family is Mexican. My sister is half Mexican. My cousin, her husband and children are Mexican. Her husband is a LEGAL immigrant. They don't believe in illegal immigration. My (step) brother and sister are Mexican. I had grandparents who were Mexican (they died years and years ago). Only we called them abuela and abuelo. They also came from Mexico. They were LEGAL immigrants. My stepmom, aunt and uncle are first generation Americans. My grandpa used to go back to Mexico every year to visit relatives and always remember to bring us Mexican cookies (these puppies are huge) and Mexican cheese for me because I loved it so much. He called me his little gringita. When we'd visit them there would always be warm tortillas and beans (and menudo, if we were lucky). All are bilingual and speak both English and Spanish in their homes, though some of us are more fluent than others (my brother and sisters and I, speak English mostly). When one of us got in trouble, my stepmom would swear up a blue streak in Spanish. We did have those words memorized.
Oh, and my brother is not only Mexican but he's (gasp!) gay and lives in San Francisco. He's a great guy. He doesn't make a spectacle of himself, though. He just lives a quiet life with his partner. We used to play roller derby together. He was a fanatic. I ended up on the ground, mostly. I don't get to see him very much any more, but we text each other every month or so.
But thank you for showing what bigots you really are. Pigs. You must be really insecure with your acute need to put everyone in little boxes and parrot your leaders who tell you what to think about certain groups of people. What sad, petty little lives you live.
Cindie
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Oh looky here. A competing bouncy:
Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)
Mon Feb 10, 2014, 07:24 PM
Star Member madamesilverspurs (7,546 posts)
5. My car broke down half block away
from a mechanic's garage. They came out and looked under the hood, determined what the problem was, said they could fix it for an amount I could afford. The owner of the shop called her son and asked him to buy a part and bring it to the garage. So far, so good. Then the kid arrives with the part, doesn't see me sitting there and proceeds to say to his mom, "There's a car out there with an Obama sticker. Want me to spray '****** lover' on it?" About that time the mechanic announces that the car is fixed. I wrote a check, then dropped their business cards (which I'd planned to recommend them with) back on the counter with a "Never mind."
Last time I drove by there, the place was all boarded up. Shucky darn.
They'll use ANY excuse to type out the n-word. It must give them such a thrill.
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Sorry to take so long to respond, but I had to think about this.
What I assume is you mean something like what I do with coins and stamps, when examining them for some miniature, microscopic detail. Most people use maganifying glasses, but I don't have to, if I know what I'm looking for. "Focus," in other words, where one excludes all other "input" and "stimulus" so as to concentrate upon one tiny little thing.
Then I assume you mean that it might be possible for a person to use the ears in the same manner, shutting out all else and focusing on just one sort of sound, or series of sounds.
So it might be that a conversation, even at low to moderate volume, could be heard at some distance, especially in an area with a lot of hard surfaces (few curtains or rugs to absorb the sound) such as the customer area of an automotive service business.
You would know more about that than I do, but I remain highly skeptical that with even the most-intense concentration, a person with hearing could "pick up" sounds that are usually too low and too far away, such as whispers and mutterings.
But really, I'm the last person here on conservativecave who'd know if that's so or not.
I've been complimented--oh God, s-o-o-o-o-o many times--for being such an interested, intense, "good" listener, but really, it's always a fraud, a sham, a masquerade.
When talking with a person, I go through the whole deal of shutting out all other happenings going on around me, focusing only and solely on that person. An intense, burning concentration that bores right through the other person. (Which presents no problems for decent and civilized people, who usually know and understand why that is, but liars and frauds avoid me like the plague.)
But really, it's physically impossible for me to hear what's being said.
And so what's actually going on is that I'm simply imagining what's being said.
It's something I don't write about here, because it's one of the darker, most crippling, near-suicidal aspects of being deaf, and those are things best not discussed on a public message-board, excepting on Skins's island.
However, I've always been heartened by that apparently I "guess" pretty good. My writing's read by people in real life who've had conversations I've related in stories here, and they usually agree that, yeah, I got it right. Not perfectly, but reasonably, close.
And I suspect that hearing people too oftentimes imagine something's been said that wasn't said. They think they heard it, but what they "heard" is in their heads, not in reality.
And I imagine that the more deranged a hearing person (e.g., a primitive) is, the more likely it is that hearing person "heard" what it wanted to hear, not necessarily what was really said.
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Damn! I miss jumping cops and bushes.
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Oh looky here. A competing bouncy:
They'll use ANY excuse to type out the n-word. It must give them such a thrill.
I did a quick Google search. It's been posted at the DUmp roughly 339,000 times.
For a bunch of non-racists, they sure are racist.
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I sympathize with you, Frank.
I'm not deaf, but I have a problem a Dr described as "voice discrimination". It occurs in the inner ear where sound is transformed into nerve impulses before going to the brain. The pitch of the voice has something to do with it. I can hear some people perfectly well, whereas others sound like they're speaking a foreign language.
I also keep the volume of TVs and radios loud in order to drown out ambient sounds. It helps, but it makes others think that I'm losing my hearing. It's impossible for me to focus on a single conversation in a crowded room.
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I also keep the volume of TVs and radios loud in order to drown out ambient sounds. It helps, but it makes others think that I'm losing my hearing. It's impossible for me to focus on a single conversation in a crowded room.
Have you tried head phones? I use them, because not everyone in the house enjoys the same programs I do. They also allow me to go into other rooms to do stuff, like cooking dinner, laundry etc. and not miss my shows.
I get the cheap Sylvania ones (about $20 on sale) on Amazon.
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redstatebluegirl (781 posts)
Today I should have said something and didn't I am very angry with myself.
I was in a local business today having my car worked on. I overheard a conversation about one of the young men at the counter who was Hispanic. He was a very nice young man, seemed to enjoy his job and care about the customers. These two men were making some horrible racist comments. I shot them a look but ignored them. I'm always afraid they are "carrying" and would harm me.
The next time I promise to speak up, remaining silent gives them permission to be bigots!
How is this possible? Everyone knows that Hispanics can never, ever be racists. Maybe he was a "white Hispanic"?
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I shot them a look
Why do the crazy hens at the DUmp think this is an effective strategy? Oooh, you looked at them! Good for you.
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Why do the crazy hens at the DUmp think this is an effective strategy? Oooh, you looked at them! Good for you.
They probably thought she was hitting on them and were immediately traumatized by the thought. they were headed back to mexico that afternoon.
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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)
Mon Feb 10, 2014, 07:31 PM
Star Member Hoyt (15,301 posts)
6. Unfortunately, a whole lot of folks who carry arms in the city are bigots.
You mean to tell me that we control the rural areas and those of us in the urban areas are armed? You might as well kiss your ass goodbye as you're doomed. The pen is mightier than the sword only in Shangri La.
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Frank, have you ever been so lost in thought that you "zone out" and your field of vision sort of blanks...except where something is moving?
I used to drive fairly long distances for a living and would get into a "zone" where I would "see" other traffic, lights, signs...but would "snap out" of it realizing that I had just driven a stretch of curvy road without consciously turning the wheel in reaction to the route profile.
Similarly, I have been in environments where a particular odor has been predominate: new paint and carpet, for instance, or the old oil smell of a garage. After a while the sense of smell diminishes until a new smell intrudes; a plate of warm cookies or a gas burner coming on, for instance.
I find that it is similar with sound. Environmental sounds fade, and if they aren't too loud thay can become so much a part of the background that they escape notice. One might hear the furnace come on, and then hear it come on again, without having taken notice that it had turned off. Contrasting sounds, especially voices or music as opposed to mechanical tapping or whooshy air noises, attract notice and get through the "filter".
So it might be that a conversation, even at low to moderate volume, could be heard at some distance, especially in an area with a lot of hard surfaces (few curtains or rugs to absorb the sound) such as the customer area of an automotive service business.
Or, the psych meds the DUmmie is taking have caused him to hear the voices, which he has misattributed to the other customers...
Or DUmmies lie...all the time...
H5 for a thoroughly intriguing post GI, but ya hit the nail on the head with the last comment so although I enjoyed yer perspective, Ya just wasted a lotta time tellin' us what we already know. LOL! My Dad was a long haul trucker, so what you say has merit, but I doubt this DUmbass of which we are speaking of, has the intelligence of what you refer to. The phrase one track mind comes to mind.
Oh, not at all Coach. We non-hearing-impaired use finely acquired bass voices as loud as we can. We generally start slapping each other on the back and crack beers in the waiting room talking about NASCAR and such. Most of the time, we pull out concealed Thompson Sub-Machine guns and start asking for directions to the nearest school. Other times, we just shoot holes in the ceiling.
God, these idiots are deranged. :whatever:
I agree with one exception, 98, I usually carry my sawed off double barreled Parker Bros 12 gauge. Makes bigger holes in the ceiling, doncha know.
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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)
Mon Feb 10, 2014, 07:31 PM
Star Member Hoyt (15,301 posts)
6. Unfortunately, a whole lot of folks who carry arms in the city are bigots.
That is unfortunately true in the cities where Democrats rule. Gangbangers, be they blacks or Mexicans are the big racists.
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Response to redstatebluegirl (Original post)
Mon Feb 10, 2014, 07:31 PM
Star Member Hoyt (15,301 posts)
6. Unfortunately, a whole lot of folks who carry arms in the city are bigots.
Ahh yes. Hoyt. The failed writer/screenwriter who once claimed to be able to field strip a .45 under water, the self admitted bigot and former criminal, and the advocate for using cans of beans for defense of self.
If at any time, one ever needs a reminder that there are no limits to the stupidity of DUmmies, one only need read this ones ramblings.
CMD
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If at any time, one ever needs a reminder that there are no limits to the stupidity of DUmmies, one only need read this ones ramblings.
Just his?
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Do they sell holsters for canned beans? Will I need a license to carry one?
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Do they sell holsters for canned beans? Will I need a license to carry one?
Depends on if you want to use the beans in self-defense after you eat them . . . :runaway: :fuelfire:
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Ahh yes. Hoyt. The failed writer/screenwriter who once claimed to be able to field strip a .45 under water, the self admitted bigot and former criminal, and the advocate for using cans of beans for defense of self.
If at any time, one ever needs a reminder that there are no limits to the stupidity of DUmmies, one only need read this ones ramblings.
Damn.
Resurrects in the memory a certain primitive from years and years ago, who long went away.
Or perhaps not.
There was an angry primitive, of the female persuasion, in Florida whose name I forget; she did freelance work for movie studios in Hollywood, and wasn't getting on very well. She used to create some of the most fabulous stories.
Her biggest tale, told sometime late in the second Bush administration--like about eight years after the ostensible event--was about eyewitnessing platoons of thousands of cops barring blacks from voting in the 2000 presidential election, shoving them away from polling places. P-J Comix later made a DUmmie FUnnies about it, asking why she'd waited eight years to tell the tale.
Anyone else remember that? I wonder if "Hoyt"'s the same primitive.
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Just his?
Oh, not to exclude the other DUmmies mind you, hes just easy to remember...him and his "can of beans" self defense lunacy.
CMD
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Damn.
Resurrects in the memory a certain primitive from years and years ago, who long went away.
Or perhaps not.
There was an angry primitive, of the female persuasion, in Florida whose name I forget; she did freelance work for movie studios in Hollywood, and wasn't getting on very well. She used to create some of the most fabulous stories.
Her biggest tale, told sometime late in the second Bush administration--like about eight years after the ostensible event--was about eyewitnessing platoons of thousands of cops barring blacks from voting in the 2000 presidential election, shoving them away from polling places. P-J Comix later made a DUmmie FUnnies about it, asking why she'd waited eight years to tell the tale.
Anyone else remember that? I wonder if "Hoyt"'s the same primitive.
Hoyt is a he and lives in the city of butt ****ers.
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Hoyt is a he and lives in the city of butt ****ers.
Oh.
This other one, she was a real basket case; I suspect she had some discombobulations inside her lower abdomen, the parts that make a woman a woman, that could be surgically corrected making her more mellow about things, but being a primitive, she took mood-altering pharmaceuticals instead.
Damn, I wish I could remember her name. She was a classic, but this was a very long time ago.
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Damn.
Resurrects in the memory a certain primitive from years and years ago, who long went away.
Or perhaps not.
There was an angry primitive, of the female persuasion, in Florida whose name I forget; she did freelance work for movie studios in Hollywood, and wasn't getting on very well. She used to create some of the most fabulous stories.
Her biggest tale, told sometime late in the second Bush administration--like about eight years after the ostensible event--was about eyewitnessing platoons of thousands of cops barring blacks from voting in the 2000 presidential election, shoving them away from polling places. P-J Comix later made a DUmmie FUnnies about it, asking why she'd waited eight years to tell the tale.
Anyone else remember that? I wonder if "Hoyt"'s the same primitive.
I couldn't say for sure, not having any familiarity with the other primitive, however there is this about hoyt:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1172&pid=68013
That thread was from around the time he got blocked from the gun forum, and the antis went bonkers with rage.
Theres some talk in that thread of a Hoyt R Hilsman, who coincidentally or possibly not so much, is an anti-gun loon.
Hoyt has also stated that his father held some sort of public office. He has a rather loose tongue, in fact.
CMD
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Watching the primitives for thirteen years is like having watched some televison situation-comedy for thirteen years; as time goes on, one forgets the earlier episodes, the earlier characters.
(And hence the purpose of the William Rivers Pitt award, the "Willie," during the Top DUmmies contest every year.)
This one I'm thinking of was really prominent circa 2002-2007, but seemed to slip away unnoticed just before the 2008 presidential election.
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Watching the primitives for thirteen years is like having watched some televison situation-comedy for thirteen years; as time goes on, one forgets the earlier episodes, the earlier characters.
(And hence the purpose of the William Rivers Pitt award, the "Willie," during the Top DUmmies contest every year.)
This one I'm thinking of was really prominent circa 2002-2007, but seemed to slip away unnoticed just before the 2008 presidential election.
Yeah, Gilligan's Island comes to mind.
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Ahh yes. Hoyt. The failed writer/screenwriter who once claimed to be able to field strip a .45 under water, the self admitted bigot and former criminal, and the advocate for using cans of beans for defense of self.
If at any time, one ever needs a reminder that there are no limits to the stupidity of DUmmies, one only need read this ones ramblings.
CMD
Do tell.
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I'm desperate. And there's probably some really good material out there.
The long-ago primitive was named something like "Lauren" or "Lorian" or thereabouts.
She told some awesome bouncies.
If you'd think about it now and then, trying to remember, I'd appreciate it. If you come up blank, that's okay, but please give it a try.
I wish I could remember more, but after twenty-four hours of trying to remember, besides that she was a bitch and always grouchy and on some pharmaceuticals and did free-lance work (the nature of which I dunno) for Disney and other Hollywood studios, is that her screen-name was "Lorian" or "Lauren" or something similar to that.
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I know who you're thinking of. She used the same avatar as Imaboobie. (http://www.democraticunderground.com/avatars/sybil.jpg)
Lorelei. I use to get her a Imaboobie mixed up.
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I'm desperate. And there's probably some really good material out there.
The long-ago primitive was named something like "Lauren" or "Lorian" or thereabouts.
She told some awesome bouncies.
If you'd think about it now and then, trying to remember, I'd appreciate it. If you come up blank, that's okay, but please give it a try.
I wish I could remember more, but after twenty-four hours of trying to remember, besides that she was a bitch and always grouchy and on some pharmaceuticals and did free-lance work (the nature of which I dunno) for Disney and other Hollywood studios, is that her screen-name was "Lorian" or "Lauren" or something similar to that.
I know of who you speak Coach, but for the life of me, I can't remember her name. I could only come up with Lauren. Don't think that's exactly right though. She was around when we were at CU wasn't she?
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There was a Lorien that used to be a member.
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There was a Lorien that used to be a member.
That one is still around, I think.
CMD
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I know of who you speak Coach, but for the life of me, I can't remember her name. I could only come up with Lauren. Don't think that's exactly right though. She was around when we were at CU wasn't she?
Yeah, she was, the miserable wretched she-woman.
A real piece of work.
I think Dori and Collectivism have identified her correctly; I'll look around later (busy in real life), as there's an opportunity for, uh, interesting inventory for the DUmpster.
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Heh....On Convoy. Been there, done that. :-)
I have, on more than one occasion, left work needing to make a stop before going home.
Soon after I find myself in my driveway.
As for the thread. I must be missing something. What kind of new breed of bouncy are we talking about ?
It seems run of the mill to me on first blush.
But don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of second blush.
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Yeah, she was, the miserable wretched she-woman.
A real piece of work.
I think Dori and Collectivism have identified her correctly; I'll look around later (busy in real life), as there's an opportunity for, uh, interesting inventory for the DUmpster.
I know that word "busy". I have to go out and fire up the snow blower in order to get rid of the "present" the county snow plow left me. If I don't, "Toots" may not make it in the driveway, then there would be hell to pay, believe me! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....
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There was an angry primitive, of the female persuasion, in Florida whose name I forget; she did freelance work for movie studios in Hollywood, and wasn't getting on very well. She used to create some of the most fabulous stories.
Here is a link to a 2008 bouncy. A Lorien that lived in Winter Park FL. She was self employed at the time.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8330751
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I have, on more than one occasion, left work needing to make a stop before going home.
Soon after I find myself in my driveway.
As for the thread. I must be missing something. What kind of new breed of bouncy are we talking about ?
It seems run of the mill to me on first blush.
But don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of second blush.
We're using Hispanics now instead of blacks. With immigration reform on the front burner, we're changing our stories to fit the current hot political topic. It always happens.
Cindie
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^Ah, I see.
I also noticed a DUmmie on DU making noise about immigration reform.
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redstatebluegirl (781 posts)
Today I should have said something and didn't I am very angry with myself.
I was in a local business today having my car worked on. I overheard a conversation about one of the young men at the counter who was Hispanic. He was a very nice young man, seemed to enjoy his job and care about the customers. These two men were making some horrible racist comments. I shot them a look but ignored them. I'm always afraid they are "carrying" and would harm me.
The next time I promise to speak up, remaining silent gives them permission to be bigots!
Dear redstatebluegirl,
I feel a kind of kinship with you (being a bluestateredgirl), so let me endeavor (that means try) to show you a proper bouncy. For a most excellent example, please look to the DU archives for posts by bouncie ball, these are perfection. Since immigration reform is the cause du jour of leftist nutbags such as yourself, you should find this little guide helpful. As I am a conservative, I'm going to do it from a conservative perspective, but will do my best to make it as inane & fake as yours.
So (So is perhaps the most important element of a bouncy, it lets the reader know they are about to read a story that pertains to whatever topic is currently being pushed by your leaders for you to parrot. While even your nutjob buddies will recognize it as being a figment of your imagination, it doesn't matter if it's politically correct and shows conservatives to be the racists you've convinced yourselves they are. During the trial that failed to find justice for 0bama's son, for instance, there were a lot of stories about white racists even though Zimmerman was Hispanic). Anyway...
So, I was taking my truck to be serviced. I was wearing one of my favorite t-shirts. I got it free a long time ago when I bought a membership for Rush 24/7. It says "Last man standing" on the back and "Rush Hudson Limbaugh...MMM, MMM, MMM" on the front. (This establishes my creditials as a true blue conservative, thus worthy of all the accolades and pats on the back my story deserves).
My cousin-in-law Adrian, who is Mexican, came with me (this is one thing you got right, introducing the appropriate victim class in the beginning). He drove his car because mine was going to stay overnight (again, this isn't true as Adrian lives in CA and I only get to see once a year or so, but it's important I have someone of the correct race, gender or sexual orientation to make this work. Had I really wanted to push it, I could've used Rey, my gay, Mexican brother but I didn't want to confuse you by adding another element to the story).
Well, we're sitting there waiting for the mechanic, and in walks this flabby, disheveled woman. She smelled like a combination of pot, b.o. and patchouli oil. Adrian, who has no use for dirty hippies and can't stand the smell of patchouli oil (again, I have no idea how he feels about either because it's never come up in conversation, but it's essential to my tale), starts talking up a blue streak in Spanish.
So, I say to him (it's important to remember every conversation word or word), "Damn, Adrian, you know I can barely understand you when you speak Spanish, slow down and try English!"
So, he says, "Sorry, I just can't stand dirty, smelly hippies!" The hippy woman was up at the counter talking to someone who was trying to hold his nose without her knowing it so she didn't hear his comment.
And I jokingly said, "Well, maybe she's an illegal alien from Amsterdam".
Well, the hippy chick must have only heard me say "illegal alien" because she came unglued! She started screaming at me and said (word for word), "How can you be such a racist bitch! He just wants to have the same opportunities you have. He's not an illegal immigrant, he's an undocumented worker. If you had any feelings, you'd know that! People like you should be put in reeducation camps until you learn some compassion!" I thought pot made people mellow, but evidently not in this case.
(Here's the part where, if it were your story, you establish your bravery standing up for the poor ethnic minority. Except you'd have to make me some gun toting, 6 foot tall redneck or something. Still, it really doesn't matter if I'm a woman and he's a man who's stronger and taller than me. This might prove to be an interesting variation. Equal pay for women has been put on the back burner, replaced by immigration reform. Besides, my t-shirt identifies me as a racist. However, since this is MY story, you're going to look like the crazy, uniformed idiot who can't mind her own business).
I turned around to look at Adrian, thinking we'd both have a good laugh at this crazy woman but he looked like he was about ready to clock her so I stepped between the two of them and opened my purse wide enough so she could see I have a pistol, hoping that would be enough to make her back off. (Oh, wait, I guess this does make me the gun toting redneck). Didn't deter her one bit!
She kept screaming at me saying, "It's your fault! White people took the land that rightfully belonged to Mexico" (evidently she forgot she's also white). So actually, they're really on their own land!"
I said, "I don't remember Mexico extending all the way up to Oregon, besides, this is my cousin. He came here legally and doesn't like that people come here illegally, either!"
Well, she didn't believe me, or didn't hear the part about Adrian not liking people who cheated their way in, because she goes, "You treat your own family like that! Like he's a second class citizen! I suppose you make him do your yard work, too!"
I said, "Well, he is a landscaper!" I was going to add that I pay him just as any customer would but she swung her hand back like she was going to slap me. I reached in my purse to grab my pistol. Thought I was going to have to shoot her in the foot or something!
Just then, a cop jumped out from behind a potted bush in front of a stack of tires. (This is another important element. You need a cop who will be on your side. I know you guys usually hate cops but when you're trying to show everyone you're noble and right and good, having law enforcement on your side is one of the few times you CAN like them. He told this crazy lady if she didn't calm down he'd haul her off to jail. Well, she shut up real fast but kept shooting me dirty looks until I got the estimate from the mechanic and Adrian and I left.
I went over and thanked the police officer on my way out the door while she sat there seething with rage! As I was opening the door, the other customers who'd been looking at the liberal harpy with disdain stood up and started clapping loudly and nodding their heads in my direction. One even gave me a high 5 because I stood up to this person who was acting like an escapee from a mental institution and thanked me for using logic and restraint. (This is also a necessary part of your story. By the sheer intelligence and compassion of your argument the entire viewing public must think you practically walk on water).
As you can see, there are four important elements: starting with the ever popular "so", remembering dialogue word for word, receiving praise from everyone around you for being a freaking genius who puts the wrong person in their place and having a cop jumping out from behind something. A bush is preferable but anything that a cop can hide behind that fits the theme will work most of the time. It would probably be preferable for me to explain why the cop was in the exact location and the exact right time, but I was getting bored.
Now that you know the proper form, try rewriting yours. But remember, you need to speak up! You're not supposed to be mousy in a bouncy! You stand up for the underdogs! You face the racists hicks with determination, your head held high! Your weapon is your self righteous anger! It should make any conservative cower. How are you going to get praise from a captive audience if you don't put the racist, sexist, homophobe in their place?
Cindie
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Dear redstatebluegirl,
I feel a kind of kinship with you (being a bluestateredgirl), so let me endeavor (that means try) to show you a proper bouncy. For a most excellent example, please look to the DU archives for posts by bouncie ball, these are perfection. Since immigration reform is the cause du jour of leftist nutbags such as yourself, you should find this little guide helpful. As I am a conservative, I'm going to do it from a conservative perspective, but will do my best to make it as inane & fake as yours.
So (So is perhaps the most important element of a bouncy, it lets the reader know they are about to read a story that pertains to whatever topic is currently being pushed by your leaders for you to parrot. While even your nutjob buddies will recognize it as being a figment of your imagination, it doesn't matter if it's politically correct and shows conservatives to be the racists you've convinced yourselves they are. During the trial that failed to find justice for 0bama's son, for instance, there were a lot of stories about white racists even though Zimmerman was Hispanic). Anyway...
So, I was taking my truck to be serviced. I was wearing one of my favorite t-shirts. I got it free a long time ago when I bought a membership for Rush 24/7. It says "Last man standing" on the back and "Rush Hudson Limbaugh...MMM, MMM, MMM" on the front. (This establishes my creditials as a true blue conservative, thus worthy of all the accolades and pats on the back my story deserves).
My cousin-in-law Adrian, who is Mexican, came with me (this is one thing you got right, introducing the appropriate victim class in the beginning). He drove his car because mine was going to stay overnight (again, this isn't true as Adrian lives in CA and I only get to see once a year or so, but it's important I have someone of the correct race, gender or sexual orientation to make this work. Had I really wanted to push it, I could've used Rey, my gay, Mexican brother but I didn't want to confuse you by adding another element to the story).
Well, we're sitting there waiting for the mechanic, and in walks this flabby, disheveled woman. She smelled like a combination of pot, b.o. and patchouli oil. Adrian, who has no use for dirty hippies and can't stand the smell of patchouli oil (again, I have no idea how he feels about either because it's never come up in conversation, but it's essential to my tale), starts talking up a blue streak in Spanish.
So, I say to him (it's important to remember every conversation word or word), "Damn, Adrian, you know I can barely understand you when you speak Spanish, slow down and try English!"
So, he says, "Sorry, I just can't stand dirty, smelly hippies!" The hippy woman was up at the counter talking to someone who was trying to hold his nose without her knowing it so she didn't hear his comment.
And I jokingly said, "Well, maybe she's an illegal alien from Amsterdam".
Well, the hippy chick must have only heard me say "illegal alien" because she came unglued! She started screaming at me and said (word for word), "How can you be such a racist bitch! He just wants to have the same opportunities you have. He's not an illegal immigrant, he's an undocumented worker. If you had any feelings, you'd know that! People like you should be put in reeducation camps until you learn some compassion!" I thought pot made people mellow, but evidently not in this case.
(Here's the part where, if it were your story, you establish your bravery standing up for the poor ethnic minority. Except you'd have to make me some gun toting, 6 foot tall redneck or something. Still, it really doesn't matter if I'm a woman and he's a man who's stronger and taller than me. This might prove to be an interesting variation. Equal pay for women has been put on the back burner, replaced by immigration reform. Besides, my t-shirt identifies me as a racist. However, since this is MY story, you're going to look like the crazy, uniformed idiot who can't mind her own business).
I turned around to look at Adrian, thinking we'd both have a good laugh at this crazy woman but he looked like he was about ready to clock her so I stepped between the two of them and opened my purse wide enough so she could see I have a pistol, hoping that would be enough to make her back off. (Oh, wait, I guess this does make me the gun toting redneck). Didn't deter her one bit!
She kept screaming at me saying, "It's your fault! White people took the land that rightfully belonged to Mexico" (evidently she forgot she's also white). So actually, they're really on their own land!"
I said, "I don't remember Mexico extending all the way up to Oregon, besides, this is my cousin. He came here legally and doesn't like that people come here illegally, either!"
Well, she didn't believe me, or didn't hear the part about Adrian not liking people who cheated their way in, because she goes, "You treat your own family like that! Like he's a second class citizen! I suppose you make him do your yard work, too!"
I said, "Well, he is a landscaper!" I was going to add that I pay him just as any customer would but she swung her hand back like she was going to slap me. I reached in my purse to grab my pistol. Thought I was going to have to shoot her in the foot or something!
Just then, a cop jumped out from behind a potted bush in front of a stack of tires. (This is another important element. You need a cop who will be on your side. I know you guys usually hate cops but when you're trying to show everyone you're noble and right and good, having law enforcement on your side is one of the few times you CAN like them. He told this crazy lady if she didn't calm down he'd haul her off to jail. Well, she shut up real fast but kept shooting me dirty looks until I got the estimate from the mechanic and Adrian and I left.
I went over and thanked the police officer on my way out the door while she sat there seething with rage! As I was opening the door, the other customers who'd been looking at the liberal harpy with disdain stood up and started clapping loudly and nodding their heads in my direction. One even gave me a high 5 because I stood up to this person who was acting like an escapee from a mental institution and thanked me for using logic and restraint. (This is also a necessary part of your story. By the sheer intelligence and compassion of your argument the entire viewing public must think you practically walk on water).
As you can see, there are four important elements: starting with the ever popular "so", remembering dialogue word for word, receiving praise from everyone around you for being a freaking genius who puts the wrong person in their place and having a cop jumping out from behind something. A bush is preferable but anything that a cop can hide behind that fits the theme will work most of the time. It would probably be preferable for me to explain why the cop was in the exact location and the exact right time, but I was getting bored.
Now that you know the proper form, try rewriting yours. But remember, you need to speak up! You're not supposed to be mousy in a bouncy! You stand up for the underdogs! You face the racists hicks with determination, your head held high! Your weapon is your self righteous anger! It should make any conservative cower. How are you going to get praise from a captive audience if you don't put the racist, sexist, homophobe in their place?
Cindie
:bow: :bow: :bow:
BTW, you're now teaching Bouncy Writing 101 next semester at the VRWC Academy. Just got the message. :tongue:
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There was a Lorien that used to be a member.
I was close. :-)
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^Ah, I see.
I also noticed a DUmmie on DU making noise about immigration reform.
The new breed of storytelling is the Proglodyte is no longer the brave defender speaking Truth to Power at the checkout line of the grocery store.
Now they are frightened by the gun-toting NRA terrorists.
This isn't a tale of standing up to injustice, it is a call for The Others to be forcibly disarmed.
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The new breed of storytelling is the Proglodyte is no longer the brave defender speaking Truth to Power at the checkout line of the grocery store.
Now they are frightened by the gun-toting NRA terrorists.
This isn't a tale of standing up to injustice, it is a call for The Others to be forcibly disarmed.
Methinks that Snugs nails it. H5.
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I was close. :-)
It's all good, though, and my thanks to everybody.
<<<probably has forgotten more about the primitives, than currently knows about the primitives.