The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: Dori on February 05, 2014, 05:49:05 PM

Title: DUmmy Saw The Light, Thought She Had Died
Post by: Dori on February 05, 2014, 05:49:05 PM

(http://i1329.photobucket.com/albums/w556/Doriville/flashlight_zps730f260f.jpg) (http://s1329.photobucket.com/user/Doriville/media/flashlight_zps730f260f.jpg.html)

Quote

Wed Feb 5, 2014, 06:39 AM

Star Member Are_grits_groceries (14,449 posts)

I woke up last night from a sound sleep to a very bright light coming down the hall to my bedroom.

I grabbed a steel rod I have near my bed. My first thought was that I had died and this was the bright light you are supposed to see. My second thought was this will not end well.
Then the light was in my eyes and I heard the word police.
I was not scared for some reason. My adrenaline had not gone up. I have no idea why.

I got up and followed them to my living room. They told me my door had been cracked open and a neighbor had reported it.
I followed them out and there were my neighbors. I think they had watched my door for a while before calling the police. They didn't want anything to hurt me. Thank Jeebus for them.

I have no idea why I didn't check it before I went to bed. That is my routine. I guess it wasn't routine enough. I now have a sign bigger than gawd to remind me.
I am still trying to find the 50 years I lost.
I never did get scared. Go figure.

I am a very lucky person with great neighbors.

Quote

rug (55,739 posts)

14. Why do you have a steel rod by your bed?

Quote

Are_grits_groceries (14,449 posts)

17. I don't want a gun.
 
If anything were to happen, it would be my last resort to catch somebody off guard and/or smack them to hell and back.
It's not very long.

I don't have any real worries here, but just in case.

Title: Re: DUmmy Saw The Light, Thought She Had Died
Post by: franksolich on February 05, 2014, 05:51:13 PM

Oh my.

A primitive uses franksolich's S/K adjustable wrench means of self-defense.

Title: Re: DUmmy Saw The Light, Thought She Had Died
Post by: dutch508 on February 05, 2014, 06:05:31 PM

A steel rod? Really?

 ::)

Title: Re: DUmmy Saw The Light, Thought She Had Died
Post by: zeitgeist on February 05, 2014, 06:14:16 PM

So gritty mc grocery had murder on her mind?  Lucky she didn't take a swing at the cop with her bar stock persuader or she might have gotten a one way ticket on the dirt nap express.  Cops just don't take being beaned in a dark room very well at all.  

Title: Re: DUmmy Saw The Light, Thought She Had Died
Post by: Revolution on February 05, 2014, 06:37:42 PM

Every DUmmie has a steel rod next to their bed. It doesn't smell very decent though, I hear. I also hear they insert it again every morning when they wake up.

Of course this is a :bouncy:

Title: Re: DUmmy Saw The Light, Thought She Had Died
Post by: JohnnyReb on February 05, 2014, 06:49:06 PM

If I am awakened in the middle of the night and I got "steel" in my hand.....someone is going to have a bad day because my "steel" has a long, very long, reach..

Title: Re: DUmmy Saw The Light, Thought She Had Died
Post by: thundley4 on February 05, 2014, 07:05:23 PM

This is a bouncy, pure and simple.  No cops showed up, it was just a neighbor that saw the open door the DUmmie left open to air out the pot smoke. They sat down, fired up another joint and had a good laugh. 

If cops had shown up the DUmmie would have been busted for the openly visible drugs and paraphernalia scattered about.

Title: Re: DUmmy Saw The Light, Thought She Had Died
Post by: Gina on February 05, 2014, 07:36:02 PM

Quote

rug (55,739 posts)

14. Why do you have a steel rod by your bed?

Is that too violent a weapon??? :panic:

Title: Re: DUmmy Saw The Light, Thought She Had Died
Post by: freedumb2003b on February 05, 2014, 07:43:21 PM

Quote from: franksolich on February 05, 2014, 05:51:13 PM

Oh my.

A primitive uses franksolich's S/K adjustable wrench means of self-defense.

Best self-defense tool sans gun -wasp spray.  Works from a long distance, completely disables the attacker since it mists and permeates attempts to cover eyes and mouth.

Spray, kick in the balls, then keep kicking until attacker.movement=0

Title: Re: DUmmy Saw The Light, Thought She Had Died
Post by: Gina on February 05, 2014, 07:44:58 PM

Quote from: freedumb2003b on February 05, 2014, 07:43:21 PM

Best self-defense tool sans gun -wasp spray.  Works from a long distance, completely disables the attacker since it mists and permeates attempts to cover eyes and mouth.

Spray, kick in the balls, then keep kicking until attacker.movement=0

I would prefer to keep them from ever getting a chance to hurt again. 

Title: Re: DUmmy Saw The Light, Thought She Had Died
Post by: ChuckJ on February 05, 2014, 07:58:03 PM

Quote

Wed Feb 5, 2014, 06:39 AM

Star Member Are_grits_groceries (14,449 posts)

I woke up last night from a sound sleep to a very bright light coming down the hall to my bedroom.

I grabbed a steel rod I have near my bed. My first thought was that I had died and this was the bright light you are supposed to see. My second thought was this will not end well.
Then the light was in my eyes and I heard the word police.
I was not scared for some reason. My adrenaline had not gone up. I have no idea why.

I got up and followed them to my living room. They told me my door had been cracked open and a neighbor had reported it.
I followed them out and there were my neighbors. I think they had watched my door for a while before calling the police. They didn't want anything to hurt me. Thank Jeebus for them.

I have no idea why I didn't check it before I went to bed. That is my routine. I guess it wasn't routine enough. I now have a sign bigger than gawd to remind me.
I am still trying to find the 50 years I lost.
I never did get scared. Go figure.

I am a very lucky person with great neighbors.

The DUmmie says "Thank Jeebus" so I don't think it has to worry about a "bright light" unless it considers fire and brimestone to be a bright light.

Title: Re: DUmmy Saw The Light, Thought She Had Died
Post by: Dblhaul on February 05, 2014, 08:55:26 PM

Goes to bed stoned, forgets to shut the door. Do drugs, do stupid things!

Title: Re: DUmmy Saw The Light, Thought She Had Died
Post by: BlueStateSaint on February 06, 2014, 04:40:50 AM

Quote from: Gina on February 05, 2014, 07:44:58 PM

I would prefer to keep them from ever getting a chance to hurt again. 

Yeah, the 12 gauge does have that advantage.

Title: Re: DUmmy Saw The Light, Thought She Had Died
Post by: Celtic Rose on February 06, 2014, 05:18:24 AM

How does one "forget" to close the front door?  I've forgotten to lock the door, but closing it is pretty instinctual. 

Title: Re: DUmmy Saw The Light, Thought She Had Died
Post by: Gina on February 06, 2014, 06:41:19 AM

Quote from: BlueStateSaint on February 06, 2014, 04:40:50 AM

Yeah, the 12 gauge does have that advantage.

Buck shot through the wall.  I will warn first out of consideration. :-*

Title: Re: DUmmy Saw The Light, Thought She Had Died
Post by: BlueStateSaint on February 06, 2014, 07:00:03 AM

Quote from: Gina on February 06, 2014, 06:41:19 AM

Buck shot through the wall.  I will warn first out of consideration. :-*

Use the Winchester PDX1 "Buck'n'Slug" round.  If they don't get the message when the buckshot come whistling through, the slug reinforces your intent.

Title: Re: DUmmy Saw The Light, Thought She Had Died
Post by: Karin on February 06, 2014, 07:10:23 AM

I found the "Jeebus" and the "gawd" to be particularly annoying in this tale.  Why do they go to such lengths?  Why not take the Lords' names in vain, since it doesn't matter a whit to them? 

Title: Re: DUmmy Saw The Light, Thought She Had Died
Post by: GOP Congress on February 06, 2014, 07:17:37 PM

Quote from: thundley4 on February 05, 2014, 07:05:23 PM

This is a bouncy, pure and simple.  No cops showed up, it was just a neighbor that saw the open door the DUmmie left open to air out the pot smoke. They sat down, fired up another joint and had a good laugh. 

If cops had shown up the DUmmie would have been busted for the openly visible drugs and paraphernalia scattered about.

(http://www.420magazine.com/gallery/data/1398/medium/Scooby_Doo_and_Shaggy_Stoned_by_HanzSolo.jpg)