The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: Dori on February 04, 2014, 05:48:17 PM

Title: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: Dori on February 04, 2014, 05:48:17 PM
There was an old Dummy who
swallowed a leaf
Oh my, she swallowed a leaf
Perhaps she'll die

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018566839
Quote
ashling (21,068 posts)

I just swallowed a bay leaf
  
 I was eating some left over spaghetti my daughter made last night.
It still had a whole bay leaf in it when I put it up last night - which I meant to pick out, but I accidentally swallowed the whole thing,

It feels sort of like its still stuck in my throat. Iate some bread and drank some milk, but it still doesn't feel too good

Does anybody have any suggestions?

This is not almost bad as when I caught the sponge on fire in the microwave . .

Quote
ashling (21,068 posts)

2. Do you think there will be any complications?
 
I doesn't feel to good in my stomach either.  

Do you think anyone has ever died from a bay leaf?

Quote
Wait Wut (7,696 posts)

4. I think you'll be okay. Just uncomfy.
 
Wikipedia:

Some members of the laurel family, as well as the unrelated but visually similar mountain laurel and cherry laurel, have leaves that are poisonous to humans and livestock. While these plants are not sold anywhere for culinary use, their visual similarity to bay leaves has led to the oft-repeated belief that bay leaves should be removed from food after cooking because they are poisonous. This is not true - bay leaves may be eaten without toxic effect. However, they remain very stiff even after thorough cooking, and if swallowed whole or in large pieces, they may pose a risk of scratching the digestive tract or even causing choking. Thus, most recipes that use bay leaves will recommend their removal after the cooking process has finished.

Quote
Star Member NightWatcher (23,151 posts)

3. YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!!!

Well, we all are, but the leaf just might make a few burps taste funny for a while. You'll be fine. I find I suffer from overuse of garlic than any other spice in spaghetti. The leaf has already started to break down in your guts by now.

Great, now I want some s'ghetti.







Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: GOBUCKS on February 04, 2014, 05:54:33 PM
Quote
The leaf has already started to break down in your guts by now.

It's beginning to look like part of NJCher's soup.
Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: Duke Nukum on February 04, 2014, 05:56:49 PM
The DUmmie should sue himself for $500,000. That way he learns a lesson about negligence and gets a big pay day! $$ Cha-Ching! $$
Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: Duke Nukum on February 04, 2014, 06:01:48 PM
Also, if I ever swallow a bay leaf, nobody here will ever hear of it, unless it somehow makes the news and I was a really funny Darwin Award recipient because of it.

If I didn't want to call the doctor right away, I would probably go to WebMD or someplace first, or call the poison center if I was really scared.

You're all great people but this isn't the first place I think of when I want medical advice.
Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: BlueStateSaint on February 04, 2014, 06:43:59 PM
It's beginning to look like part of NJCher's soup.

It has to be vomited back up first.
Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: JohnnyReb on February 04, 2014, 06:51:32 PM
I have mountain laurel and wild cherry right here on the farm.....now how do I get DUmmies to ingest it?
Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: BlueStateSaint on February 04, 2014, 07:48:42 PM
I have mountain laurel and wild cherry right here on the farm.....now how do I get DUmmies to ingest it?

Tell 'em that it'll add to the effects of their 'medical pot.' :stoner:
Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: BattleHymn on February 04, 2014, 08:33:50 PM
If you're up for the drive, I'd be willing to dig it out with my chainsaw, DUmmie.
Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: Purple Sage on February 04, 2014, 09:50:15 PM
How does one swallow a bay leaf without feeling it in one's mouth?  They're firm and scratchy... hard to miss. Just wolfing down one's food and swallowing it whole?
Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: sharkhawk on February 04, 2014, 10:05:27 PM
The DUmmie should sue himself for $500,000. That way he learns a lesson about negligence and gets a big pay day! $$ Cha-Ching! $$

The DUmmies daughter made the spaghetti.  I wouldn't be surprised if the DUmmie sues the daughters' insurance company.  I had a fat-assed DUmmie aunt who did that to my grandmother, when she supposedly "fell" on ice.
Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: freedumb2003b on February 04, 2014, 10:39:04 PM
There once was a DUmmy who swallowed a leaf
Oh Good Grief, it swallowed a leaf
Perhaps it'll die

There once was DUmmy who swallowed lib lies
The lib lies would poison the soul
Oh what the hell
they poison the soul

It swallowed the lies to dissolve the leaf
Oh Good Grief, it swallowed a leaf
Perhaps it'll die

There once was DUmmy whose vote was to be sold
Bread and Circuses for young and old

It sold its vote to buy the lies
It swallowed the lies to dissolve the leaf
Oh Good Grief, it swallowed a leaf
Perhaps it'll die

There once was DUmmy who did no work
It said "you are a jerk to do real work"

It didn't work because it could sell its vote
It sold its vote to buy the lies
It swallowed the lies to dissolve the leaf
Oh Good Grief, it swallowed a leaf
Perhaps it'll die

There once was DUmmy who didn't like laws
"I do what I want, you can keep your laws"

It didn't like laws because they require work
It didn't work because it could sell its vote
It sold its vote to buy the lies
It swallowed the lies to dissolve the leaf
Oh Good Grief, it swallowed a leaf
Perhaps it'll die

There once was a DUmmy who didn't know
Gravity is a law to which we all should hew
It stepped out of a building expecting Government help.
Its last sound was a sort of a "yelp."

It died.


Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: franksolich on February 05, 2014, 01:03:17 AM
Also, if I ever swallow a bay leaf, nobody here will ever hear of it, unless it somehow makes the news and I was a really funny Darwin Award recipient because of it.

If I didn't want to call the doctor right away, I would probably go to WebMD or someplace first, or call the poison center if I was really scared.

You're all great people but this isn't the first place I think of when I want medical advice.

I'm not familiar with this primitive, but based on her thread titles alone, she appears to be a silly old woman, much like Judy "grasswire" but perhaps not as addled.  (However, don't take that for Gospel, as first impressions can be deceiving.)

I've heard the old adage about not swallowing a bay leaf since I was a young lad, but one time I did, from a bowl of stew at Duffy's Tavern in Lincoln, Nebraska, when I was in college.  I however didn't worry about it, despite that bay leaves are "supposed" to be poisonous.  If they were poisonous, why would they be cooked in food?  No ill effects, although I could tell I swallowed it.

Duffy's was a college bar, but it's a state law in Nebraska--still on the books but not enforced, although it seems generally observed (I haven't ever seen a bar in this state without it)--that a business serving alcoholic beverages has to keep a pot of fresh soup available for customers.

Duffy's stew was made by an ancient woman with an accent; she's probably dead by now, and I wonder if they still have that stew.  It was excellent.  But it was the first and only stew I ever saw, and had, that had bay leaves in it.  One wonders what bay leaves do for it. 
Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: fatboy on February 05, 2014, 05:58:19 AM
The DUmmie should sue himself for $500,000. That way he learns a lesson about negligence and gets a big pay day! $$ Cha-Ching! $$

Clearly there is a need for legislation requiring warning labels on each leaf.
Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: GOBUCKS on February 05, 2014, 11:38:45 AM
Clearly there is a need for legislation requiring warning labels on each leaf.

Renegade cooks would take advantage of the spice shop loophole.
Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: jukin on February 05, 2014, 11:52:47 AM
How does one swallow a bay leaf without feeling it in one's mouth?  They're firm and scratchy... hard to miss. Just wolfing down one's food and swallowing it whole?

That's what I was thinking and then remembered that we are talking about DUmmys.
Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: DLR Pyro on February 05, 2014, 12:22:44 PM
Also, if I ever swallow a bay leaf, nobody here will ever hear of it

no shit.  This DUmmy seems to take pleasure in showcasing their acts of stupidity for all the DUmmy world to see.

Quote
ashling (21,068 posts)

I just swallowed a bay leaf
 
 I was eating some left over spaghetti my daughter made last night.
It still had a whole bay leaf in it when I put it up last night - which I meant to pick out, but I accidentally swallowed the whole thing,

It feels sort of like its still stuck in my throat. Iate some bread and drank some milk, but it still doesn't feel too good

Does anybody have any suggestions?

This is not almost bad as when I caught the sponge on fire in the microwave
. .
Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on February 05, 2014, 12:34:04 PM
If you like your bay leaf, you can keep your bay leaf.
Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: BlueStateSaint on February 05, 2014, 02:24:19 PM
If you like your bay leaf, you can keep your bay leaf.

Your sponge in the microwave . . . well, that's another story. :tongue:
Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: GOBUCKS on February 05, 2014, 02:57:51 PM
Your sponge in the microwave . . . well, that's another story.

No DUmmy is spongeworthy.
Title: Re: There Was An Old DUmmy Who Swallowed A Leaf
Post by: marv on February 05, 2014, 02:59:03 PM
There once was a DUmmy who swallowed a leaf
Oh Good Grief, it swallowed a leaf
Perhaps it'll die

There once was DUmmy who swallowed lib lies
The lib lies would poison the soul
Oh what the hell
they poison the soul

It swallowed the lies to dissolve the leaf
Oh Good Grief, it swallowed a leaf
Perhaps it'll die

There once was DUmmy whose vote was to be sold
Bread and Circuses for young and old

It sold its vote to buy the lies
It swallowed the lies to dissolve the leaf
Oh Good Grief, it swallowed a leaf
Perhaps it'll die

There once was DUmmy who did no work
It said "you are a jerk to do real work"

It didn't work because it could sell its vote
It sold its vote to buy the lies
It swallowed the lies to dissolve the leaf
Oh Good Grief, it swallowed a leaf
Perhaps it'll die

There once was DUmmy who didn't like laws
"I do what I want, you can keep your laws"

It didn't like laws because they require work
It didn't work because it could sell its vote
It sold its vote to buy the lies
It swallowed the lies to dissolve the leaf
Oh Good Grief, it swallowed a leaf
Perhaps it'll die

There once was a DUmmy who didn't know
Gravity is a law to which we all should hew
It stepped out of a building expecting Government help.
Its last sound was a sort of a "yelp."

It died.




^5 :clap: