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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: Dori on January 10, 2014, 01:08:25 PM

Title: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Dori on January 10, 2014, 01:08:25 PM
Quote
Demo_Chris (4,949 posts)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1018&pid=551299

Wife and Daughter are furious. I tried to cook a grilled cheese sandwich... 

Here's what happened. I saw on a youtube video that you make a grilled cheese by putting cheese between bread and cooking it in a pan. I decided I could do that pretty easy and surprise everyone by showing off my cooking prowess. So I got out a stainless steel pan and put my bread and cheese in there. So far so good.

But the cheese wasn't melting, while the bread started burning around the edges. So I turned it over and smooshed it down but the bread kept burning. I figured maybe I just need oil so I dump some canola in there. But then the ****ing plastic spatula starts to melt on me. By now the kitchen is full of smoke and the last half inch of the spatula is melted off. WHO IN THE HELL MAKES SPATULAS OUT OF MELTABLE STUFF?! That's freaking silly! Anyway....

I decided that sandwich was pretty much garbage, with the blackened bread and the plastic on it and all. Plus the pan was still smoking and it smelled pretty toxic, so I set that out back and got a Teflon pan. This time I though ahead and instead of a plastic spatula I grabbed a metal one. I put plenty of the canola oil in the pan and tossed in my bread. But that wasn't working well either because the bread just got all soggy in the oil and despite being Teflon it STILL stuck to the stupid pan.

I was just scraping it out when my daughter came in all freaking out wanting to know what in the hell I was doing. Then my wife showed up. I explained to them about the defective plastic spatula but for whatever reason they seem to somehow think all this was my fault. Then my wife spots the stainless pan out back, and it does look kinda bad with the plastic melted in there, but even so it hardly justifies her reaction.

Anyway, my daughter made me two sandwiches and they were good.



Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Carl on January 10, 2014, 01:16:26 PM
There is nothing too simple for a DUmbass to screw up.
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Bad Dog on January 10, 2014, 01:16:39 PM
The smartest people in the world.
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Traveshamockery on January 10, 2014, 01:39:44 PM






 :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Big Dog on January 10, 2014, 01:45:06 PM
That made my day.

Thanks for bringing it over, Dori.
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Chris_ on January 10, 2014, 01:46:39 PM
:rofl: :lmao: :rotf:
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on January 10, 2014, 02:04:31 PM
:rofl: :lmao: :rotf:

I'll double down on that.  :lmao: :rotf: :rofl: :rofl: :rotf: :lmao:
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: JakeStyle on January 10, 2014, 02:18:59 PM
I searched youtube for grilled cheese sandwich recipes, and every single video that came up goes into great detail on how to cook a really simple sandwich.  I can't imagine how he could **** that up.
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Chris_ on January 10, 2014, 02:21:27 PM
Considering he has a Darwin thing as an avatar, I think his wife and child should allow him to starve.

It's only fitting.
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on January 10, 2014, 02:24:36 PM
I searched youtube for grilled cheese sandwich recipes, and every single video that came up goes into great detail on how to cook a really simple sandwich.  I can't imagine how he could **** that up.

It sounds like he forgot to butter the bread. :loser:
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Chris_ on January 10, 2014, 02:25:46 PM
It sounds like he forgot to butter the bread. :loser:
And had the pan(s) way too hot.
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on January 10, 2014, 02:28:15 PM
And had the pan(s) way too hot.

I love this line from the OP:

Quote
I decided I could do that pretty easy and surprise everyone by showing off my cooking prowess.

Dude, if you though making something as simple as a grilled cheese sandwich would show off your "cooking prowess", I suggest going back to pouring a bowl of cereal.  Although a genius like you would probably screw that up too.
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Karin on January 10, 2014, 02:29:07 PM
He even had YouTube instructions!  DUmbass ruined a perfectly good pan.   :rant:
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Bad Dog on January 10, 2014, 02:31:50 PM
Dude, if you though making something as simple as a grilled cheese sandwich would show off your "cooking prowess", I suggest going back to pouring a bowl of cereal.  Although a genius like you would probably screw that up too.

I expect he has all sorts of "prowess" problems.
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: tanstaafl on January 10, 2014, 02:53:40 PM
He even had YouTube instructions!  DUmbass ruined a perfectly good pan.   :rant:

Actually, two pans. Don't forget he used a metal spatula on the Teflon coated pan. Which was what the ex-plastic spatula was for.
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: freedumb2003b on January 10, 2014, 02:56:30 PM
That made my day.

Thanks for bringing it over, Dori.

Dori rocks that way...

:)
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: jukin on January 10, 2014, 03:05:49 PM
Beautiful find Dori!!

 :cheersmate:

The most gifted and talented people on the interweb.
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: JohnnyReb on January 10, 2014, 03:19:25 PM
Can't wait for him to try hard boiled eggs.
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Bad Dog on January 10, 2014, 03:23:35 PM
Can't wait for him to try hard boiled eggs.

I think he's learned his lesson and will use plenty of oil for that.
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Wineslob on January 10, 2014, 03:33:12 PM
Things that DUmmies can ruin:

1 Rocks

2 Boiling water

3 Chili

4 Pizza

5 BBQ

6 Spaghetti

7 Grilled cheese sammich



to be continued.......
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Reality vs DU on January 10, 2014, 05:20:16 PM
 :thatsright:

And we're the stupid ones.  It's a ****ing grilled cheese sandwich!

Cooking prowess  :rotf:
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: diesel driver on January 10, 2014, 05:32:31 PM
DUmmie Dimo could destroy an anvil in a sandbox, using a rubber hammer!

Most DUmmies can't handle anything with a number on it higher than their IQ, which is usually half their shoe size.
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Reality vs DU on January 10, 2014, 05:41:07 PM
DUmmie Dimo could destroy an anvil in a sandbox, using a rubber hammer!

No way.  That would require some effort.  Dumbasses are rare creatures, they can **** up a **** up.
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: diesel driver on January 10, 2014, 05:43:23 PM
No way.  That would require some effort.  Dumbasses are rare creatures, they can **** up a **** up.

To be fair, he did expend some effort f'n up a f'n cheese sandwich.

Twice!   :lmao:
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: DUmpsterDiver on January 10, 2014, 05:51:09 PM
Things that DUmmies can ruin:

0. America
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on January 10, 2014, 05:54:59 PM
Things that DUmmies can ruin:

1 Rocks

2 Boiling water

3 Chili

4 Pizza

5 BBQ

6 Spaghetti

7 Grilled cheese sammich



to be continued.......

0. America

Sex
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: miskie on January 10, 2014, 06:54:54 PM
(http://images.betterworldbooks.com/076/Cooking-Basics-for-Dummies-Rama-Marie-9780764572067.jpg)

EOM.

Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Celtic Rose on January 10, 2014, 07:03:26 PM
I'm sorry, but how do you screw up a grilled cheese sandwich.  I think they were the first thing that I was allowed to "cook" by myself, and I have yet to melt any spatulas in the process. 
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Skul on January 10, 2014, 07:05:14 PM
The DUmpmonkey made me laugh.
Wish I could ^5 the lad.  :rotf:
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: miskie on January 10, 2014, 07:20:05 PM
I'm sorry, but how do you screw up a grilled cheese sandwich.  I think they were the first thing that I was allowed to "cook" by myself, and I have yet to melt any spatulas in the process. 

I let my kids make toasted cheese sandwiches in the toaster oven.

a) make toast.
b) put cheese on top of toast, and put back into the toaster oven.
c) when cheese starts to melt, take the toast out and stick the halves together.

It isn't rocket science, and the kids don't even need to ruin a spatula and a pan in the process.
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: GOBUCKS on January 10, 2014, 07:46:32 PM
Surely no one believes that story is true.

The DUmmy wrote it trying to be quoted over here.
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Purple Sage on January 11, 2014, 04:49:02 AM

The DUmmy wrote it trying to be quoted over here.

Agreed.  Nobody is THAT stupid.  Even dummies.  Surely.  It has to be some sort of a prank. 
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: Chris_ on January 11, 2014, 10:42:11 AM
(http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff68/kayaktn/toast_zps837acc32.png)
Title: Re: Demo-DUmmy Makes Melted Spatula Sandwich
Post by: NHSparky on January 11, 2014, 11:01:37 AM
Surely no one believes that story is true.

The DUmmy wrote it trying to be quoted over here.

No, I can actually believe they're that stupid.  When they can get fired for bitching about earwigs, bragging about hiding the remote, are barely functionally literate, unlike the "yutes" they supposedly teach, and actually BELIEVED Bodaprez when he said he'd heal the oceans, bring all sorts of kum-bah-yah and all that happy horseshit to the land, yeah, not so much on the sooper-genius scale do these mouth-breathers register.