The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on January 06, 2014, 02:49:09 PM

Title: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: franksolich on January 06, 2014, 02:49:09 PM

The property caretaker came by this morning, the first time I’d seen him since December 23, and I lit into him.  “Why the Hell are you out in this beastly weather?” I asked; “even if one’s dressed for an Arctic expedition, one’s likely to freeze to death in five minutes out there.”

“Well, I wanted to be sure you were okay,” he insisted, “because you haven’t contacted me about any problems, and believe me, with this weather, there’s always problems.  I was worried.”

Nope, I told him; “the electricity’s worked fine, the water’s worked fine, the heat’s worked fine, the telephone’s worked fine, the internet’s worked fine, and the cats are fine…..and well-fed.

“As you can see, it’s nice and cozy and warm in here, 68-70 degrees.

“But it’s driving me nuts, having to stay inside, away from the great big wide wonderful world.”

I pointed out the windows; as most know, this place is mostly windows, on all four sides.

“It all looks so nice, so inviting, but not with subzero temperatures, and -50 wind-chills.”

(http://i1100.photobucket.com/albums/g419/Eferrari/january/snow4_zpsdd9a0f74.jpg) (http://s1100.photobucket.com/user/Eferrari/media/january/snow4_zpsdd9a0f74.jpg.html)

(http://i1100.photobucket.com/albums/g419/Eferrari/january/snow7_zpsb3bd41f5.jpg) (http://s1100.photobucket.com/user/Eferrari/media/january/snow7_zpsb3bd41f5.jpg.html)

Yeah, he said; “you’re not taking it too well,” referring to that I hadn’t shaven in five days.

“It’s just too cold to shave; one just doesn’t feel like it,” I replied.

“I still have on the same clothes I put on last Tuesday; haven’t ever taken them off or changed them.  It’s just too cold to bother; one just doesn’t feel like it.”

“It doesn’t look like you’ve been eating much either,” the caretaker commented, “even though this place is loaded with groceries.”

Yeah.  “Well, I had some broccoli on Friday, but really, with this weather, one doesn’t feel like eating anything.  I want to be liberated, I want to be outdoors.”

I could’ve pointed out too that I hadn’t had to sit on the commode for six days now, but as I don’t know him all that well, desisted.

“About the only normal life I’ve been leading is that I still brush the teeth two times a day.”

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on January 06, 2014, 03:07:36 PM

All that's missing from that pic are a couple of four-legged walking war machines on the horizon.

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: ChuckJ on January 06, 2014, 03:37:36 PM

Pretty photos frank.

We're supposed to be in single digits tomorrow when figuring in the wind chill. I dread it.

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: BlueStateSaint on January 06, 2014, 04:06:26 PM

Quote from: ChuckJ on January 06, 2014, 03:37:36 PM

Pretty photos frank.

We're supposed to be in single digits tomorrow when figuring in the wind chill. I dread it.

Our wind chills are supposed to be in single digits . . . below zero.

Need more of this:

:fuelfire:

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: Maxiest on January 06, 2014, 04:11:02 PM

Quote from: franksolich on January 06, 2014, 02:49:09 PM

The property caretaker came by this morning, the first time I’d seen him since December 23, and I lit into him.  “Why the Hell are you out in this beastly weather?” I asked; “even if one’s dressed for an Arctic expedition, one’s likely to freeze to death in five minutes out there.”

“Well, I wanted to be sure you were okay,” he insisted, “because you haven’t contacted me about any problems, and believe me, with this weather, there’s always problems.  I was worried.”

Nope, I told him; “the electricity’s worked fine, the water’s worked fine, the heat’s worked fine, the telephone’s worked fine, the internet’s worked fine, and the cats are fine…..and well-fed.

“As you can see, it’s nice and cozy and warm in here, 68-70 degrees.

“But it’s driving me nuts, having to stay inside, away from the great big wide wonderful world.”

I pointed out the windows; as most know, this place is mostly windows, on all four sides.

“It all looks so nice, so inviting, but not with subzero temperatures, and -50 wind-chills.”

(http://i1100.photobucket.com/albums/g419/Eferrari/january/snow4_zpsdd9a0f74.jpg) (http://s1100.photobucket.com/user/Eferrari/media/january/snow4_zpsdd9a0f74.jpg.html)

(http://i1100.photobucket.com/albums/g419/Eferrari/january/snow7_zpsb3bd41f5.jpg) (http://s1100.photobucket.com/user/Eferrari/media/january/snow7_zpsb3bd41f5.jpg.html)

Yeah, he said; “you’re not taking it too well,” referring to that I hadn’t shaven in five days.

“It’s just too cold to shave; one just doesn’t feel like it,” I replied.

“I still have on the same clothes I put on last Tuesday; haven’t ever taken them off or changed them.  It’s just too cold to bother; one just doesn’t feel like it.”

“It doesn’t look like you’ve been eating much either,” the caretaker commented, “even though this place is loaded with groceries.”

Yeah.  “Well, I had some broccoli on Friday, but really, with this weather, one doesn’t feel like eating anything.  I want to be liberated, I want to be outdoors.”

I could’ve pointed out too that I hadn’t had to sit on the commode for six days now, but as I don’t know him all that well, desisted.

“About the only normal life I’ve been leading is that I still brush the teeth two times a day.”

Did you know that experts at the NSA can measure the shadows from the sun in that photo and find you?   :thatsright:

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on January 06, 2014, 04:16:53 PM

Quote from: Maxiest on January 06, 2014, 04:11:02 PM

Did you know that experts at the NSA can measure the shadows from the sun in that photo and find you?   :thatsright:

I thought the ninja lawyers would have found Frank by now.  :lmao:

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: diesel driver on January 06, 2014, 04:56:00 PM

Quote from: Ralph Wiggum on January 06, 2014, 04:16:53 PM

I thought the ninja lawyers would have found Frank by now.  :lmao:

Those are DUmmie ninja lawyers.

They haven't a chance in hell of finding Frank.

They can't find their own asses, even if they stuck their hands in their back pockets. 

Frank is more than safe where he's at.

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: Vagabond on January 06, 2014, 05:00:35 PM

Wow, who knew that the Sandhills of Nebraska could resemble Pensacola Beach?

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: Skul on January 06, 2014, 05:20:30 PM

The water in the bird baths was frozen this morning.  :panic:
That just sux.  :rant:

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: franksolich on January 06, 2014, 05:20:49 PM

Quote from: Vagabond on January 06, 2014, 05:00:35 PM

Wow, who knew that the Sandhills of Nebraska could resemble Pensacola Beach?

I wish.

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: dutch508 on January 06, 2014, 05:31:55 PM

Officer Dutch started his shift as he does every morning, with a pot of coffee. Black, of course, no sugar. If God had wanted man to put sugar into coffee it would already be sweetened. Outside the wind howled at a steady 25 mph out of the north. The thermometer hovered at a brisk -19*. It was 5 a.m.
Filling his travel mug he ventured out into the darkness, ice crunching underfoot as he walked to the police cruiser. The night shift officer had started it early so it was toasty warm inside. Pulling out and onto the street the headlights cast a pale glow through the blowing snow.
“Such a beautiful morning,” Dutch though as he turned the car radios on. It was, in a way, very beautiful. The absolute desolation of the Sandhills was on of extreme emotion. One either loved it here, or hated it.

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: franksolich on January 06, 2014, 05:51:25 PM

Quote from: dutch508 on January 06, 2014, 05:31:55 PM

One either loved it here, or hated it.

And both at the same time, too.

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: Skul on January 06, 2014, 05:54:32 PM

As I recall, the ice and snow didn't "crunch", it squeaked.
It was a strange sound. Almost that of an old dry door hinge, only quick, like a duck.
Old window sills would moan from the wind.

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: longview on January 06, 2014, 05:56:25 PM

Two words for you:   Cabin Fever

You know, the real kind.  Not the funny kind.  I look forward to reading that you are doing better.

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: MrsSmith on January 06, 2014, 07:04:00 PM

I grew up on the plains, loved Wyoming for years, and had a terrible time getting used to the rain down here in SouthEast Kansas...but when we were in Wyoming last week, that wind was a lot colder and a lot harder than I liked!!  It even woke me up at night.  I really don't envy you right now, Frank!!

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: freedumb2003b on January 06, 2014, 07:23:28 PM

Quote

Nope, I told him; “the electricity’s worked fine, the water’s worked fine, the heat’s worked fine, the telephone’s worked fine, the internet’s worked fine, and the cats are fine…..and well-fed.

The Internet and the cats were #5 and 6?????????

Coach!  Your priorities!!!!

PS: Stay warm, stay alive, stay well.

It is amazing to me that after being here in Toronto for the worst rain ever I am now here for the coldest night ever.

Ir they were smart, they would never let me come back here again.

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: franksolich on January 06, 2014, 11:04:34 PM

Quote from: freedumb2003b on January 06, 2014, 07:23:28 PM

As of 11 p.m. (central time) Monday night, -6 degrees, no wind.

It's supposed to soar to 21 degrees on Tuesday; that might be enough to motivate me to haul out the razor and get rid the facial hair, change clothes, and dine on something.

And then Wednesday, high of 14, but big snow.....

I'm so glad I don't have company; nobody's going out.

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: ChuckJ on January 06, 2014, 11:13:36 PM

I don't know how you people handle it. When I was younger it didn't matter. When I was 19 I could wade through waist deep water covered with ice and it didn't bother me at all. The last couple of years I've apparently developed Raynaud's Syndrome, and the cold kills my fingers.

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: franksolich on January 06, 2014, 11:26:17 PM

Quote from: ChuckJ on January 06, 2014, 11:13:36 PM

I don't know how you people handle it. When I was younger it didn't matter. When I was 19 I could wade through waist deep water covered with ice and it didn't bother me at all. The last couple of years I've apparently developed Raynaud's Syndrome, and the cold kills my fingers.

Well, this sort of winter doesn't happen every year; in fact, this winter's extraordinary.

Back in the Good Old Days when George Bush was president and all was well with the world, we had three winters here in Nebraska that even with snow, were "on the average" warmer than Los Angeles at the time.

Ten to fourteen days of subzero weather every winter's the norm; after that, it's over.

This has been going on, with short one- or two-day interruptions, since early December.

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: Karin on January 07, 2014, 09:32:21 AM

Frank, I'm surprised that the extreme cold weather kills your appetite.  Most people want something hot to dine on.  Can't you make some soup or stew?  I hope that the relatively warmer weather on Wednesday will do wonders for your outlook. 

We had very high winds last night and today, of course.  The wind blew through strange old cracks and crevices on the side of the house, making some very spooky music. 

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: JakeStyle on January 07, 2014, 10:11:39 AM

Soup and stew, and even broth are great when it's cold out Frank, plus they keep well, so it's easy to reheat for a quick meal.  Take care, I hope the weather improves soon.

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on January 07, 2014, 10:17:51 AM

Quote from: ChuckJ on January 06, 2014, 11:13:36 PM

I don't know how you people handle it. When I was younger it didn't matter. When I was 19 I could wade through waist deep water covered with ice and it didn't bother me at all. The last couple of years I've apparently developed Raynaud's Syndrome, and the cold kills my fingers.

I don't have any particular medical reason, I just hate being cold anymore.  It didn't bother me at all when I was young, despite growing up in a virtually unheated and uninsulated Indiana farmhouse, but I got all the cold, wet, and miserable I need for the entirety of my life in unheated armored vehicles in Germany in the height of the Cold War. 

It's kind of a drawback for deer hunting now, 'cause I will just roll over and go back to sleep if the ambient temp isn't headed for around freezing or better by full light.  I tell people "I didn't like being cold when I was getting paid for it and it was vital for national defense, I'm sure as Hell not going to freeze my ass off just for fun."

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: franksolich on January 07, 2014, 11:49:33 AM

Well, it's 20 degrees, no wind, the sun's shining, the cats are romping and playing atop the William Rivers Pitt.

I went to town for the first time since Thursday, as I discovered the hair on my face was too rough for the razors I had here.

<<<now bathed, clean-shaven, and in clean clothes.

We have one more day of this extraordinary weather--at least according to the forecast--tomorrow, Wednesday, when it's supposed to be unhumanly cold again, and with snow.....but after that one single day, the long-range forecast shows the usual typical standard average Nebraska winter, with day-time highs in the upper 30s and lower 40s, and night-time lows still in the two digits (although barely so), on the positive side of the thermometer.

All bad things, like all good things, come to an end.  Sooner or later.

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: franksolich on January 07, 2014, 11:55:30 AM

Quote from: Karin on January 07, 2014, 09:32:21 AM

Frank, I'm surprised that the extreme cold weather kills your appetite.

I survived.

The deal was, I wasn't expending any calories, other than those needed for breathing, sitting inside this place all day and all night.  I haven't checked, but I probably didn't shrink an ounce.

I was really surprised; I'd always considered myself an indoors sort of person--around here, when I'm not called "dude," I'm called "city boy"--but now I'm aware of how much time I actually spend outdoors.

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: longview on January 07, 2014, 12:53:28 PM

Happy to hear you're out of hibernation, even if it's just for a few days.

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: franksolich on January 08, 2014, 05:15:53 PM

Quote from: longview on January 07, 2014, 12:53:28 PM

Happy to hear you're out of hibernation, even if it's just for a few days.

I think I'm out of hibernation for good now.

It's 18 degrees, skies are dark grey, about ready to dump some snow, and the wind-chill makes it 11.

The world outdoors is habitable again, and the forecast is for increasingly-pleasant weather.

Other than the property caretaker, nobody's been out here for days now, and I made just one short dash to town, but yesterday, thanks to JakeStyle, I got motivated to shave and change into clean clothes.

All bad things, like all good things, come to an end.....

Title: Re: franksolich goes primitive
Post by: franksolich on January 11, 2014, 03:43:21 AM

Swede, the cook of Norwegian derivation whose specialty is Italianate cuisine, came by late Friday evening, just half an hour or so before I was going to hit the sack.  He brought with him a brown paper bag, in which was a hamburger, extremely well done, pressed down hard on the grill so as to squeeze out every drop of grease, and a double order of french fries, fried on the grill rather than in the fryer.  He forgot the sour cream, but as it was a gift, I daren't complain.

He was headed to the big city, to meet his wife for a middle-of-the-night shopping expedition at Wal-Mart.

I inquired what prompted the visit.

"I haven't seen you for a while; nobody's seen you for a while."

Not true, I said; "I've been to town two times since Wednesday morning, after this weather broke."

Of course, I'd been to town only to the convenience store, which is on the outer edge, and when there was only one person working there, as I'd all but grown a beard (now gone, of course) between Christmas and the past Wednesday morning.  I don't like to be seen in public when I'm not spiffy.

"I was told you were going nuts, being out here all alone," Swede said.

Maybe, perhaps, possibly, I said, but consider my situation.  Living alone, out here in the middle of nowhere, and the weather not even fit for a dead polar bear.  I didn't want anybody risking life and limb coming out here, and I wasn't about to go out myself.  This was the coldest, windiest, winter I can remember in Nebraska, although the newspapers insist the winter of 1983-1984 was worse.

"Hearing people, I suppose, could've found diversion and amusement with television, radio, the stereo, the cellular telephone, old movies on a VCR, whatnot electronic gadgets and toys they jam into their ears, but there's none of that here.  And if there were, it wouldn't do me any good anyway.

"It's just weird, going so long in utter silence, with nothing to stimulate the senses, prod the mind, animate the spirits.  One just is, and nothing more than that.

"But on the other hand, I was spared things that provoke terror in hearing people; the howling of the wind, the breaking of tree branches and even whole trees, the snapping of power lines, the hiss of a broken natural gas main, some odd piece of debris shattering a window, an axe-murderer crashing through the front door.....

"So there wasn't any fear, because I wouldn't have heard these noises if they'd occurred.

"But just being, and nothing else, well that was nerve-wracking."