The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: Big Dog on January 01, 2014, 05:35:32 AM

Title: Toxic gas in Rindge, NH
Post by: Big Dog on January 01, 2014, 05:35:32 AM
TOXIC GAS SENDS NINE TO HOSPITAL

RINDGE, NH — Nine Rindge Market Basket employees were transported to nearby hospitals Sunday evening after several people collapsed in a back room of the supermarket on Route 202.

More at the Mondanock Ledger-Transcript (http://www.ledgertranscript.com/home/9996794-95/market-reopens-after-emergency).



In a related story, William Rivers Pitt, son of former Rindge Interim Town Administrator Jane Pitt, has been banned for life from the local Market Basket. Pitt, formerly of Boston, MA, was banned after an incident attributed to "an excess of pickled eggs and malt liquor", according to Rindge Fire Chief Rickard Donovan.

Chief Donovan was visibly shaken as he said, "I never smelled anything like it in my thirty years of fire service."
Title: Re: Toxic gas in Rindge, NH
Post by: JohnnyReb on January 01, 2014, 06:13:53 AM
TOXIC GAS SENDS NINE TO HOSPITAL

RINDGE, NH — Nine Rindge Market Basket employees were transported to nearby hospitals Sunday evening after several people collapsed in a back room of the supermarket on Route 202.

More at the Mondanock Ledger-Transcript (http://www.ledgertranscript.com/home/9996794-95/market-reopens-after-emergency).



In a related story, William Rivers Pitt, son of former Rindge Interim Town Administrator Jane Pitt, has been banned for life from the local Market Basket. Pitt, formerly of Boston, MA, was banned after an incident attributed to "an excess of pickled eggs and malt liquor", according to Rindge Fire Chief Rickard Donovan.

Chief Donovan was visibly shaken as he said, "I never smelled anything like it in my thirty years of fire service."
:lol:
Pickled eggs and beer....oh the huge manatee.
Title: Re: Toxic gas in Rindge, NH
Post by: franksolich on January 01, 2014, 07:19:29 AM
Actually, the Bostonian Drunkard is afflicted with boryborygmia.

It's a real problem; it really exists.

There's a certain class of unfortunate people who no matter what they do to try to prevent it, involuntarily release flatulence. 

Yes, I kid you not.

One never wants to be around such people in an elevator, or sitting next to them in an airplane.
Title: Re: Toxic gas in Rindge, NH
Post by: Big Dog on January 01, 2014, 07:38:38 AM
Actually, the Bostonian Drunkard is afflicted with boryborygmia.

It's a real problem; it really exists.

There's a certain class of unfortunate people who no matter what they do to try to prevent it, involuntarily release flatulence. 

Yes, I kid you not.

One never wants to be around such people in an elevator, or sitting next to them in an airplane.

Indeed, but the Borborygmic Bard of Boston is his own worst enemy. He feeds the dragon in his bowels, a steady diet of cheap beer, cheaper whisky, pickled eggs, and stale pretzels.
Title: Re: Toxic gas in Rindge, NH
Post by: franksolich on January 01, 2014, 07:41:57 AM
Indeed, but the Borborygmic Bard of Boston is his own worst enemy. He feeds the dragon in his bowels, a steady diet of cheap beer, cheaper whisky, pickled eggs, and stale pretzels.

Yeah.  That does not help.

He's also got oily skin.

<<<wouldn't want to be the Bostonian Drunkard for a million bucks.
Title: Re: Toxic gas in Rindge, NH
Post by: Dori on January 01, 2014, 09:21:51 AM
He's also got oily skin.

That's dangerous.  He could spontaneously combust.   :fuelfire:

Title: Re: Toxic gas in Rindge, NH
Post by: JohnnyReb on January 01, 2014, 09:25:18 AM
Actually, the Bostonian Drunkard is afflicted with boryborygmia.

It's a real problem; it really exists.

There's a certain class of unfortunate people who no matter what they do to try to prevent it, involuntarily release flatulence. 

Yes, I kid you not.

One never wants to be around such people in an elevator, or sitting next to them in an airplane.

You know, Hitler had that problem...and was a vegetarian....wonder if any of the DUmmies are kin to him?
Title: Re: Toxic gas in Rindge, NH
Post by: Big Dog on January 01, 2014, 09:40:33 AM
That's dangerous.  He could spontaneously combust.   :fuelfire:

Cheap whisky, compressed flammable gas, oily skin, and a lit cigarette. That would be bad for the Boozy Bard.

(http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/1813aqov5wc2jjpg/ku-xlarge.jpg)

99% of Americans wouldn't piss on him if he caught fire. Mrs. P the Younger should follow him around with a fire extinguisher, just in case.
Title: Re: Toxic gas in Rindge, NH
Post by: JohnnyReb on January 01, 2014, 10:56:18 AM
Cheap whisky, compressed flammable gas, oily skin, and a lit cigarette. That would be bad for the Boozy Bard.

(http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/1813aqov5wc2jjpg/ku-xlarge.jpg)

99% of Americans wouldn't piss on him if he caught fire. Mrs. P the Younger should follow him around with a fire extinguisher, just in case.
Well then, lets take up a collection and send him a Cuban cigar and a box of matches.
Title: Re: Toxic gas in Rindge, NH
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on January 01, 2014, 11:07:26 AM
You know, Hitler had that problem...and was a vegetarian....wonder if any of the DUmmies are kin to him?

Being a vegetarian generally aggravates a flatulence issue, because they tend to take in a lot more starches and low-grade proteins than you get in a normal omnivore diet.  Of course, this doesn't do much to help with the emotional adjustment of a group of people who for the most part are already self-righteous, unlikeable jerkwads.
Title: Re: Toxic gas in Rindge, NH
Post by: BlueStateSaint on January 01, 2014, 05:00:31 PM
Being a vegetarian generally aggravates a flatulence issue, because they tend to take in a lot more starches and low-grade proteins than you get in a normal omnivore diet.  Of course, this doesn't do much to help with the emotional adjustment of a group of people who for the most part are already self-righteous, unlikeable jerkwads.

But the hidden benefit is that it makes hating them really, really easy. :fuelfire: :-) :whistling:
Title: Re: Toxic gas in Rindge, NH
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on January 01, 2014, 06:49:34 PM
But the hidden benefit is that it makes hating them really, really easy. :fuelfire: :-) :whistling:

Oh, absolutely.  And a big H5 to you, too!