The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => The DUmping Ground => Topic started by: franksolich on December 21, 2013, 09:13:28 AM
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Congratulations to Lady Freedom Returns, the winner of the Robyn McGrath award, the “Rob,†for having been the primitive provoking the most laughter and merriment to decent and civilized people nearly every time she opened her mouth, trying to appear credible and authoritative.
Amber had lots of competition for this award, including Atman, :jugs: :yahoo:, walrus-face, Dennis the Menace, the pie-and-jam primitive, the locust primitive, cousin nadin, Fat Che’s little brother, SidDithers, the lesser Steven primitive, and the Taverner primitive.
But from the start, it was a two-woman race to the exclusion of all others, Amber and :jugs: :yahoo: duking it out in no-holds-barred fisticuffs, an epic gargantuan Battle of the Jugs, if one will.
Amber joins cousin nadin, the past winner of the Rob; the award was created only last year.
It needs noted that Atman is the only primitive who thus far has failed to win an award named after him.
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Amber first became a primitive of interest (PoI) a little over two years ago, after the tornado that devastated Joplin, Missouri; she and her lover, the hoary Dreamboat Dave, decided to hike to Washington state so as to be as far away from similar natural catastrophes in the future.
They got as far as the border with Kansas, and then turned around and went back home.
One disremembers what happened next, but then they mysteriously showed up in Tucson, Arizona…..
…..and then Dreamboat Dave met sneering Chad, another discombobulated military veteran, who convinced him Amber was a parasite on him, and he threw her out…..
…..after which Amber borrowed bus-fare from her loving, caring sisters back in Joplin, and returned home…..
…..where Amber worked in a convenience store a whooping three weeks, until she’d paid off her loving, caring sisters, and gotten a bus ticket back to Tucson from another primitive…..
…..where she currently resides in city missions, waiting for the American Dream to come true.
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This necessarily has to be a short award, because surely one understands we’ll be coming across Amber further along in the Top DUmmies of 2013 contest, and one needs to save the details for a greater award.
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Amber’s value as a primitive inspiring laughter and ridicule however appears to be on the wane, and into 2014, decent and civilized people might not find her as funny as they used to, if these comments are any indication:
This bitch really pisses me off. Suffering you self-created loser? You don't know the meaning of it or what reality looks like if it bit you on your ample white ass. Don't talk to the grown ups like you know a thing about what you are talking about. You are a fat lazy ass loser DARING to condescend to people who are far better off then you and have gone through far worse then you have. Give me a break...seriously lady, you need some serious introspection. I can't even read her stupid shit anymore--she's a ****ing poser--plain and simple--a big FAT UGLY POSER and no doubt many of those homeless through real circumstances where you are know you are a POSER. You are straight up pathetic lady.
This fat cow has not did one positive thing in her life to enhance the greatness of this country. Not a single, solitary thing.
She's nothing more that a parasitic leech.
Let’s take a look at how YOU take the saying “pull yourself up by the boot straps.â€
A rancher expends much time, effort, and money to raise cattle. When the cattle is ready to be “harvested†much time, effort, and money is used separating it into its various parts. One of the parts being the hide.
Much time, effort, and money is expended preparing the hide to be used as leather.
The boot maker buys the leather and expends much time, effort, and money using the leather to make a pair of boots with straps.
While the rancher sweated you sat in an air conditioned McDonalds using their WiFi to beg for money on WishaDUpe.
While the people in the slaughter house sweated you kicked back on your cot in the Sally distributing bed bugs.
While the people in the tannery sweated you were in a library using their computers to post at DU.
While the people at the boot maker sweated you were making goggly eyes at Chief Pumping Squaw.
After sitting around while everyone else sweated during the entire process, you now think that the pair of boots should just be FREELY GIVEN to you…because you magically deserve them somehow.
You also think that you should be FREELY GIVEN a dwelling so you will have a place to keep the boots…because you magically deserve it somehow.
And to top it all off, you think should be assigned to actually place the boots on your feet and pull them up because such labor is beneath you and because you magically deserve it somehow.
You know, Amber, I’ve tried to stay out of your free-ride fantasy, but you’re starting to piss me off, bitch.
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My, my, how the worm turns.
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I can't argue with her as the pick for this award (I went for BB). Good job, Amber!
She's in a position now to really make a good run to win the DOTY in 2014 if she can focus. A little eating out of the dumpster here, a little someone beating her within an inch of her life there, and she could be a contender.
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I can't argue with her as the pick for this award (I went for BB). Good job, Amber!
She's in a position now to really make a good run to win the DOTY in 2014 if she can focus. A little eating out of the dumpster here, a little someone beating her within an inch of her life there, and she could be a contender.
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Not to mention fighting off packs of starving coyotes, nipping at her tender ankles.
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I had Bainsbane for the Rob, but Amber is a good one too. It was a hard choice for me.
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I was robbed again. Damn you, Diebold!
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LFR rules !
At least till next years award.
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I was robbed again. Damn you, Diebold!
I was surprised that a primitive I'd promoted for many years made it into the top ten.....and this year, discouraged, I hadn't even voted for the primitive, although I think the primitive's long overdue for major recognition.
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I appreciate you not saying "the competition was stiff" when writing this award. It's anything but, with these two.
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I had the locust primitive--I found my 'worksheet' for DOTY 2013.
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I appreciate you not saying "the competition was stiff" when writing this award. It's anything but, with these two.
I'm hoping to get the nadin and the group award out this evening or tomorrow, after which'll come #10 Top DUmmie, #09 Top DUmmie, #08 Top DUmmie, #07 Top DUmmie, &c., &c., &c. culminating in the CCA and Top DUmmie of 2013 on New Year's Eve.
I'm a couple of days ahead, so if the weather doesn't hold and I lose some time, it's stll copacetic.
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I voted for PhDD for this one as well, although I figured it would be a fight between the two fatties to the finish.
Are you allowed to discuss how many degrees of separation there were between the runner-up and the winner, or is that classified information?
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Are you allowed to discuss how many degrees of separation there were between the runner-up and the winner, or is that classified information?
It's all classified, only God, Mr. Wiggum, and franksolich in the "need to know" category.
However, I will say the lead changed several times--and ended up a narrow shave--between the eventual #02 Top DUmmie and the eventual #03 Top DUmmie. There was a primitive's several-teeths'-gap between first and second place.
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It's all classified, only God, Mr. Wiggum, and franksolich in the "need to know" category.
However, I will say the lead changed several times--and ended up a narrow shave--between the eventual #02 Top DUmmie and the eventual #03 Top DUmmie. There was a primitive's several-teeths'-gap between first and second place.
To paraphrase what Stalin might have said, he who counts the votes laughs last.
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It's all classified, only God, Mr. Wiggum, and franksolich in the "need to know" category.
However, I will say the lead changed several times--and ended up a narrow shave--between the eventual #02 Top DUmmie and the eventual #03 Top DUmmie. There was a primitive's several-teeths'-gap between first and second place.
Don't forget the NSA knows too.
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Congrats to LFR for winning the Robyn McGrath award!!!! Your antics at the convienent store, with Chief Dealing Drugs, and the Sally, made you a shoe in!!!!
Come on down, Amber!!!
Now what did you win, LFR?* You won a pup tent!!! And what good is a pup tent without a double wide sleeping bag!!!! What else do we have for you, LFR? Why we have a free book on native American rituals!!! This should help you become one with your boyfriend Chief Dealing Drugs. Now we are not finished yet, LFR. What else have you won? Why a box of bed bug killer and a bar of soap!!!! Chief Running Drugs will be so impressed with your new aroma and that you are not going to cause him to get eaten alive by the bed bugs when he lies down next to you that he might even get a little frisky!!!!
But wait!!!! There is more!!!!
You have also won a free map of Tucson, Arizona... and that is not all!!! It has all the homeless shelter locations high lighted!!!! If that isn't enough... we also have a book for you!!! Titled How to Get Over Being Dumped by Your Boyfriend Who Dumped You For a Man!!!! This should help you keep your current one... at least until he tires of you and turns you into a drug mule since your physical appearance and personal hygiene has pretty much ruled out you being a prostitute.
Congrats to you, LFR. <stage whisper> Please don't stand too close to me, I don't want any bed bugs and your odor is horrendous. </stage whisper>
Again LRF, congrats!!!
*See the William Rivers Pitt thread for rules and regulations regarding contestant eligibility. Contestant is responsible for any taxes. Void where prohibited by law.
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I hope she picks up the pace for next year.
I kinda doubt it though.
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I still think she'll be...
(http://protectwhatsright.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/wolf-14.jpg) bait...
:-)