Locut0s (4,590 posts) Mon Dec 16, 2013, 07:39 PM
Have you ever lived as a shut-in?
I'm in a rather unusual position here. I have never been in a position where I HAD to live life or starve, or be on the street. For most people it's not a choice to work or not to, if you want food in your mouth or want to stay off the street you work!
My parents have long been huge enablers. We are by no means wealthy but we have always been financially stable enough to allow for such a situation to develop. When I would have my periodic mental breakdowns, 4 or 5 or more of them now, they would always allow me to live at home no questions asked like a parasite. I would do nothing but eat and sleep, and browse the web for months on end. I was lucky if I were to get out for long enough to even walk around the block. They never forced me to get a job, or socialize, or asked me to pay rent or even carry my own weight around the house.
I say they never forced me, but they definitely did "nudge" me. Which isn't to use them as an excuse for where I am, despite of all this I always knew the steps I needed to take and the things I "should" have been doing. I just never took the steps required out of fear, depression, and the good old "better the devil you know". Now at 31 I find myself STILL in this same situation like a 12 year old.
I HAVE made some steps in recent months that I have not made in the past, like opening up to my psych. In more resent weeks I've submitted a number of resumes online despite every fiber in my being resisting it, I know in the past I would not have submitted them in this state. I've also been looking into doing volunteer work soon, probably in Jan if I don't hear from employers. So I suppose there is some potential light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Then again I've been back to square one so many times it's hard to tell what is light and what may be a "light echo" from the past.
I figure now that over the years I've spent 2 years or more living as a shut-in like this. They have been spread out over the past decade or more, usually in periods lasting 2-6 months after a breakdown.
I've always felt like a complete freak and loser living like this. To my surprise in resent years I've learned through other online communities that there actually are others out there in my situation and, surprisingly, some worse off. I've talked to some in their mid 30s who haven't left their house in years. This isn't something to aspire to whatsoever and I don't bring it up for that reason, but it was somewhat comforting to find others out there.
Has anyone here had any experience with living as a shut-in. Perhaps not with your parents, perhaps on your own? Those with agoraphobia often go through periods where they can't leave their house.
HereSince1628 (27,854 posts) Tue Dec 17, 2013, 08:18 AM
1. In the interest of informing yourself, you might consider reading about a thing called "learned helplessness", if you haven't read about it already.
Martin Seligman is the guy who invented the term for this several decades ago. He and others have written many books on the topic. Self-defeating personality is another name under which the topic has been discussed...
It's been discussed as a psychological syndrome, but it seems to me more a category/label for conversations about how some people react to and work around the dysfunction that comes with depression.
One of the features of depression is indeed lack of motivation. Learned helpless is basically about the phenomenon of surrendering/giving in to the illness and learning to live/'get by'.
I don't advise such reading as a hunt for a self-help guide to happiness, but rather a way to broaden your awareness of a thing related to what you seem to be talking around.
Enhanced awareness might support conversations with your therapist.
What a worthless piece of shit.
Loco is basicly saying that no one has made him do anything with his life, and he is too lazy to force himself to do it either. When he has tried there is always a happy easy excuse to run home and hide in the basement.
This **** should be taken out and shot. We should not allow his DNA to spred to a new generation.
Waste of a good round, Dutch. There's less wasteful ways of dealing with it. A 'flying lesson' over the open ocean, for example.
that would work until he has a panic attack on the runway, tears off across the field and ends up curled up rocking in a ball back in his childhood bedroom. Best to drop him in the middle of Detroit at 2 in the morning and let nature take it's course.
No, man, leave him in Shitcago.
Better odds (for us), because of the higher population of obamasons.
I've always felt like a complete freak and loser living like this.
What a worthless piece of shit.
Loco is basicly saying that no one has made him do anything with his life, and he is too lazy to force himself to do it either. When he has tried there is always a happy easy excuse to run home and hide in the basement.
This **** should be taken out and shot. We should not allow his DNA to spred to a new generation.
"learned helplessness"
My parents have long been huge enablers.
He has a valid point about his parents enabling his lazy ass, however he could choose at any moment to grow the hell up and get off his lazy ass and do something about it.
if I don't hear from employers.
For some reason I'm getting a bad feeling about Loconuts. I see long suffering Dad going to the bedroom closet and getting out the trusty 12 ga. I then see him coming slowly down the basement steps shoulders slumped and approaching his son from behind. Then Loconuts will speak his last words, "Mom did you bring my Cheetos?".
This loser DUmmy posts the same theme time after time, and every time the DUmmies respond with pseudo support involving assertions of 'you can do this', 'you've shown great improvement', folded hands, good vibes, white lights and so on - but never the same advice that he gets over here (and we know he reads this) of 'move out and get a job'.
When his parents finally expire, he will either die or live as a parasite on the governement, and thank goodness the Canadians will be feeding/medicating him and not us.
What a worthless piece of shit.
Loco is basicly saying that no one has made him do anything with his life, and he is too lazy to force himself to do it either. When he has tried there is always a happy easy excuse to run home and hide in the basement.
This **** should be taken out and shot. We should not allow his DNA to spred to a new generation.
What a typical Libtard Loser. Although this POS is a complete waste, there
is always someone else to blame.
Your parents should kick your worthless ass out the front door and into the night.
Pathetic.
Do you really think we need to worry about that?
You never know. Stevenumbers might hit it. Better to be safe than sorry.
Do you really think we need to worry about that?
Yes. Knowing how liberal women are.
When his parents finally expire, he will either die or live as a parasite on the governement, and thank goodness the Canadians will be feeding/medicating him and not us.
He sounds coherent. I bet if he just got out in the sun and did some physical work, like did the yard work, or worked a garden, that might help him get over himself.
Locut0s
My parents ... would always allow me to live at home no questions asked like a parasite. I would do nothing but eat and sleep, and browse the web for months on end. I was lucky if I were to get out for long enough to even walk around the block. They never forced me to get a job, or socialize, or asked me to pay rent or even carry my own weight around the house.
What was once pathetically funny is now just...well....pathetic.
What was once pathetically funny is now just...well....pathetic.
Locust - you have to fight it. I deal with horrible panic attacks and know how it is to want to just stay home and give in. It's not a good place to be and I refuse to become homebound.And you're a decent, civilized person. Half of you is worth more than a hundred of LocoNuts.
And you're a decent, civilized person. Half of you is worth more than a hundred of LocoNuts.
Another reason he's a laugh riot.
Locust - you have to fight it. I deal with horrible panic attacks and know how it is to want to just stay home and give in. It's not a good place to be and I refuse to become homebound.His parents need to do what mine did. Divorce, sell the house, and tell him he's on his own.
His parents need to do what mine did. Divorce, sell the house, and tell him he's on his own.
Agree. It's amazing what happens when a person is forced to do something.Yep.
440 lb virgin sends lover to ER during his first time (http://nypost.com/2013/12/18/virgin-ends-up-in-er-during-his-first-time/)
Nah. Too much work for LocoNuts.
My parents have long been huge enablers. We are by no means wealthy but we have always been financially stable enough to allow for such a situation to develop. When I would have my periodic mental breakdowns, 4 or 5 or more of them now, they would always allow me to live at home no questions asked like a parasite. I would do nothing but eat and sleep, and browse the web for months on end. I was lucky if I were to get out for long enough to even walk around the block. They never forced me to get a job, or socialize, or asked me to pay rent or even carry my own weight around the house.