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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on December 15, 2013, 04:33:41 PM

Title: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: franksolich on December 15, 2013, 04:33:41 PM
I don’t have the winners yet--Mr. Wiggum has until Saturday, December 21, to get them to me, after which I’ll start writing them--but it’s time to stash the nominating and campaign threads for the Top DUmmies up into the DUmping Ground, so as to free up more space here in the DUmpster.

In case of ties--oh God, I hope not--each tying primitive will receive his own award.

The schedule for awardment of the Top DUmmies of 2013 awards:

December 24: #20-11 DUmmies (one award)
December 24: the Steven Dawes award

December 25: the William Rivers Pitt award
December 25: the Robyn McGrath award

December 26: the Nadin Abbott award
December 26: #10 Top DUmmie

December 27: #09 Top DUmmie
December 27: #08 Top DUmmie

December 28: #07 Top DUmmie
December 28: #06 Top DUmmie

December 29: #05 Top DUmmie
December 29: #04 Top DUmmie

December 30: #03 Top DUmmie
December 30: #02 Top Dummie

And then finally, the big day:

December 31: the CCA
December 31: Top DUmmie of 2013
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: Chris_ on December 15, 2013, 04:49:40 PM
:hyper:

I can hardly wait. 
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: franksolich on December 15, 2013, 04:51:47 PM
:hyper:

I can hardly wait. 

Remember, the CCA award's given to a primitive who did not win one of the top ten spots or one of the special awards.  And so it could be a surprise; it could even be one of the lumpenunterprimitiven, a PonP, a primitive of no prominence.

We'll see.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: Mr Mannn on December 15, 2013, 05:15:12 PM
:hyper:

I can hardly wait. 
Neither can the DUmmies. They'll be here every day. Too bad they are afraid to even mention it at the DUmp. Such is life without free speech.

I'm on pins and needles. Can't wait for the fun.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: fatboy on December 15, 2013, 06:04:55 PM
:hyper:

I can hardly wait. 

Me too. It is so much better when you have some skin in the game.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: Skul on December 15, 2013, 06:16:42 PM
Me too. It is so much better when you have some skin in the game.
Are you hoping to win?  :-)
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: formerlurker on December 15, 2013, 06:33:40 PM
Me too. It is so much better when you have some skin in the game.

I am bummed I missed it - drat!   Who is this fatboy? 

Dang I need to check in daily.  I am missing everything.

Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: franksolich on December 15, 2013, 08:15:28 PM
Dang I need to check in daily.  I am missing everything.

Yes, madam.  Don't be a stranger.  Drop in daily.  You're missed.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: ChuckJ on December 15, 2013, 09:31:49 PM
I’ve got a question for you frank. Maybe you’ve said before and I’ve missed. If so, please say again.

You’ve always done a good job writing up the award winners. Considering the number of winners you really don’t have a lot of time to do the writing. Do you have some notes or outlines prepared before you get the vote results or do you just essentially do everything from scratch when you get the votes?
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: freedumb2003b on December 15, 2013, 09:44:12 PM
I don’t have the winners yet--Mr. Wiggum has until Saturday, December 21, to get them to me, after which I’ll start writing them--but it’s time to stash the nominating and campaign threads for the Top DUmmies up into the DUmping Ground, so as to free up more space here in the DUmpster.

In case of ties--oh God, I hope not--each tying primitive will receive his own award.

The schedule for awardment of the Top DUmmies of 2013 awards:

December 24: #20-11 DUmmies (one award)
December 24: the Steven Dawes award

December 25: the William Rivers Pitt award
December 25: the Robyn McGrath award

December 26: the Nadin Abbott award
December 26: #10 Top DUmmie

December 27: #09 Top DUmmie
December 27: #08 Top DUmmie

December 28: #07 Top DUmmie
December 28: #06 Top DUmmie

December 29: #05 Top DUmmie
December 29: #04 Top DUmmie

December 30: #03 Top DUmmie
December 30: #02 Top Dummie

And then finally, the big day:

December 31: the CCA
December 31: Top DUmmie of 2013


I know you are deaf but can we write a unique fanfare for the DUmmie Awards (do we have a name -- how about the Frankies?)?

Can you perceive rhythms?  Because I am thinking of something bass based...

In the meantime how does everyone feel about the Frankies to replace the clunky "Dummie Of The Year?"

Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: EagleKeeper on December 15, 2013, 09:48:28 PM
I know you are deaf but can we write a unique fanfare for the DUmmie Awards (do we have a name -- how about the Frankies?)?

Can you perceive rhythms?  Because I am thinking of something bass based...

In the meantime how does everyone feel about the Frankies to replace the clunky "Dummie Of The Year?"



How about we replace it with "you can kiss my ass"?

Does that work for you?
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: freedumb2003b on December 15, 2013, 09:50:28 PM
How about we replace it with "you can kiss my ass"?

Does that work for you?

I am not sure what angered you.

My post was meant as a true tribute to the annual DUmmie awards and every word I said was honest and with the greatest affection for Coach.

What stuffed a bee in your asshole?

Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: franksolich on December 15, 2013, 09:51:34 PM
I’ve got a question for you frank. Maybe you’ve said before and I’ve missed. If so, please say again.

You’ve always done a good job writing up the award winners. Considering the number of winners you really don’t have a lot of time to do the writing. Do you have some notes or outlines prepared before you get the vote results or do you just essentially do everything from scratch when you get the votes?

It's depended, but generally the awards have been right from scratch, first drafts only, in ascending order of the winners.  A few have been written from outlines or notes.

For example, right now I have an outline for the brain-damaged primitive, but because he's likely to win two awards (a Top DUmmie and the Steve), it'll have to be discarded, because I don't want to duplicate material for two awards.  Each award should be different.

Mr. Wiggum used to, at my request, feed me the winners one at a time--after all, I like surprises too--and once in a while, he'd throw me a primitive pretty much unknown to me.  Because of the pressures of time, that particular primitive didn't get the full franksolich treatment, but excresence happens.

Two years ago, at my new request, he fed them all to me in one message, which made it easier, as I was aware of what was on the road ahead for me.  Then last year, since I counted the votes, same thing.

Thus I was deprived of any surprises, but it made them easier to write.

The earlier awards I wrote, I used to just log on and write in the "post reply" window.  The past two years, I've written them on Microsoft Word first, and then transferred them.....and thus have made fewer errors or contestable statements.

The easiest one I ever wrote--and this in a "post reply" window, first draft only, was the award for the #02 Top DUmmie of 2010, the sparkling old dude.  That was easier than strawberries-and-cream to write--it flowed--and I'm sure his business partners subsequently printed off thousands of copies of it, to include in the promotional materials for their consulting business, to show prospective customers how well-connected they are.

I can't say which one was the hardest, but it was probably for a primitive unknown to me.

But generally, from scratch after I'm aware of the particular winner, but on Microsoft Word first, meaning the more-recent awards are second drafts, not first drafts, because when transferring, I edit and polish before hitting the "post" key.

The quickest--but not the easiest--one I wrote off was for the miserable wretched old bitch Anne, the Top DUmmie of 2010.  It turned out okay, but man, I was pressed for time.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: fatboy on December 16, 2013, 06:07:14 AM
Are you hoping to win?  :-)
That would be the upset of the season!
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: HeavyMetal on December 16, 2013, 06:51:22 AM
I missed the voting, but I got my favourites for a couple of them...
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: franksolich on December 16, 2013, 08:23:22 AM
I missed the voting, but I got my favourites for a couple of them...

Right now, if I were betting the farm, I'd bet only that the brain-damaged primitive probably won one of the top DUmmie spots and a special award.

I'm reasonably sure about some others, but I wouldn't put money on them; only on walrus-face.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: Tucker on December 16, 2013, 03:03:48 PM
Wonder if Doug Bulna will win anything.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: franksolich on December 16, 2013, 03:25:38 PM
Wonder if Doug Bulna will win anything.

Well, I started working on the I-am-God award, the "Nadin," earlier today.

I surely hope my guess is right, about who's going to win it, because it can't be used for anything else, and if who I think won it didn't win it, it'd've been wasted effort.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: franksolich on December 16, 2013, 03:32:16 PM
Right now, if I were betting the farm, I'd bet only that the brain-damaged primitive probably won one of the top DUmmie spots and a special award.

I'm reasonably sure about some others, but I wouldn't put money on them; only on walrus-face.

I don't have any results yet, but as I'm busy for a couple more days, I don't really want them either.

But it's fun to speculate.

My predictions:

#01 Top DUmmie: the cousin nadin
#02 Top DUmmie: walrus-face

the Steve: walrus-face
the Nadin: the cousin nadin

As for the other top DUmmies, the Willie, and the Rob, I don't even want to guess.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: GOBUCKS on December 16, 2013, 03:34:48 PM
"The Steve" and "The nadin" should be awarded by acclamation.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: franksolich on December 16, 2013, 03:39:57 PM
"The Steve" and "The nadin" should be awarded by acclamation.

They're definitely two of the most clear-cut, the most-obvious-in-advance, landslide winners in the history of the Top DUmmies.  I can't remember any other races that were over even before they got underway.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: jukin on December 17, 2013, 12:34:16 PM
I don't have any results yet, but as I'm busy for a couple more days, I don't really want them either.

But it's fun to speculate.

My predictions:

#01 Top DUmmie: the cousin nadin
#02 Top DUmmie: walrus-face

the Steve: walrus-face
the Nadin: the cousin nadin

As for the other top DUmmies, the Willie, and the Rob, I don't even want to guess.

Right there with you on those predictions.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on December 17, 2013, 12:43:51 PM
I refuse to divulge any winners early.  :tongue:

It has been interesting compiling the votes this year, getting close to finishing up.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: Ptarmigan on December 17, 2013, 12:46:15 PM
This could be a close one.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: franksolich on December 17, 2013, 03:55:14 PM
This could be a close one.

There usually are some close races, which is why it's important that as many people as possible vote.

And if there's 200 voters  instead of only 100, the odds of ties are considerably lessened.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: Mr Mannn on December 17, 2013, 05:44:59 PM
Wonder if Doug Bulna will win anything.
He won the internets for 2013.
He won the most amusing person for personnel departments to research in 2013.
He won the Gay-Life Magazine's "hide-the-remote" fantasy of 2013.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: franksolich on December 17, 2013, 05:56:44 PM
He won the internets for 2013.
He won the most amusing person for personnel departments to research in 2013.
He won the Gay-Life Magazine's "hide-the-remote" fantasy of 2013.


Yet it was in walrus-face's power to squelch the whole thing as soon as it started, and all this never would've happened.

As I've said before, the primitives have no concept of "damage control."

If the brain-damaged primitive had exercised some damage control, as advised and counseled by yours truly, this whole thing would be little remembered, if not in fact totally forgotten by now.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: freedumb2003b on December 17, 2013, 06:51:54 PM
Right there with you on those predictions.

God, you are such a kiss-up.

There are those of us who can completely agree with Coach without appearing to suck up.

We "agree casual" so no one can tell..

;) :)

Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: Mr Mannn on December 17, 2013, 08:01:13 PM
As I've said before, the primitives have no concept of "damage control."

The primitives have no concept of "honor." Honor would negate the need for damage control.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: freedumb2003b on December 17, 2013, 09:20:00 PM
The primitives have no concept of "honor." Honor would negate the need for damage control.

Coach tries to give them practical advice.

Older children learn to hold it when they need to use the restroom.  Youngers need to be told where the nearest bathroom is.

Coach is doing the latter.

As a public service.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: Karin on December 18, 2013, 12:24:43 PM
I must have missed it...what does CCA stand for?
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: Freeper on December 18, 2013, 12:34:57 PM
I must have missed it...what does CCA stand for?

Coach's Choice Award, it's for a dummy who didn't make the cut that Frank wanted to be on the list.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: Tucker on December 18, 2013, 12:40:18 PM
Coach's Choice Award, it's for a dummy who didn't make the cut that Frank wanted to be on the list.

This could turn into the most sought after award in years to come.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: franksolich on December 18, 2013, 04:02:06 PM
Coach's Choice Award, it's for a dummy who didn't make the cut that Frank wanted to be on the list.

The primitives might think the race is over, and if they didn't make the cut, they're probably breathing a sigh of relief; they dodged the bullet for 2013.

Or so they think.

<<<has until the morning of New Year's Eve to select a winner of the CCA.

It's not over yet.  Too bad for the primitives.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: EagleKeeper on December 18, 2013, 04:19:20 PM
This could turn into the most sought after award in years to come.

Yeah, I'm thinking this could be big.

We're just a bunch of stupid rethugs,

But Coach, he's already a living legend.

The DOTY is the gold ring but in the immortal words of willpitt, and I am taking a bit of liberty, I reached out and got the top level plan...GOLD!!
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: GOBUCKS on December 18, 2013, 05:54:49 PM
This could turn into the most sought after award in years to come.

A DUmmy can't seek the award.

It's a Catch-22.

If a DUmmy really tries to win the award, he'll finish in the top twenty, which makes him ineligible.

If a DUmmy tries to avoid the award, he'll become so obscure he'll never be chosen.

Anyone who is both eligible and chosen for the CCA is a real loser among losers.

In fact, the CCA winner could be considered to be the DUmp's Top Loser.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: franksolich on December 18, 2013, 05:56:46 PM
In fact, the CCA winner could be considered to be the DUmp's Top Loser.

That might very well be the way it evolves.

I'm still thinking, but that's a reasonable direction.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: EagleKeeper on December 18, 2013, 06:16:56 PM
Is there a reason that the top DUmmie could not also capture the CCA?
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: Tucker on December 18, 2013, 06:18:47 PM
A DUmmy can't seek the award.

It's a Catch-22.

If a DUmmy really tries to win the award, he'll finish in the top twenty, which makes him ineligible.

If a DUmmy tries to avoid the award, he'll become so obscure he'll never be chosen.

Anyone who is both eligible and chosen for the CCA is a real loser among losers.

In fact, the CCA winner could be considered to be the DUmp's Top Loser.


Looking back, "sought after" was the wrong phrase. Prestigious is more fitting.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: franksolich on December 18, 2013, 06:20:38 PM
Is there a reason that the top DUmmie could not also capture the CCA?

As Carl originally explained his idea--and such a good idea it is--the CCA would go specifically to a primitive not acknowledged in the Top DUmmies, but deemed worthy of notoriety anyway.

And so the CCA won't go to any primitive who ranked in the top ten, or who won one of the special awards; it'll be an entirely new primitive altogether.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: EagleKeeper on December 18, 2013, 06:29:33 PM
As Carl originally explained his idea--and such a good idea it is--the CCA would go specifically to a primitive not acknowledged in the Top DUmmies, but deemed worthy of notoriety anyway.

And so the CCA won't go to any primitive who ranked in the top ten, or who won one of the special awards; it'll be an entirely new primitive altogether.

So, there is no way this will ever become the platinum ring?
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: franksolich on December 18, 2013, 06:31:54 PM
So, there is no way this will ever become the platinum ring?

Nope.

But Top DUmmie of the Year alone seems a pretty high honor, and the Willie the second-highest honor a primitive can attain anyway.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: franksolich on December 19, 2013, 12:47:15 AM
Message to :jugs:  :yahoo: and Skippy:

I've been reading both of you most of the day, and you don't have to keep trying so hard.

I'm sure both of you won at least one major award in the Top DUmmies contest, so you may take a breather on being stupid.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: Tucker on December 19, 2013, 05:59:41 AM
Message to :jugs:  :yahoo: and Skippy:

I've been reading both of you most of the day, and you don't have to keep trying so hard.

I'm sure both of you won at least one major award in the Top DUmmies contest, so you may take a breather on being stupid.

That's their natural state of being, especially jugs. She's stuck on stupid.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: franksolich on December 19, 2013, 06:58:30 AM
That's their natural state of being, especially jugs. She's stuck on stupid.

Well, but really, they can both stop trying to impress any more.

They've impressed us plenty.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: jukin on December 19, 2013, 01:49:22 PM
God, you are such a kiss-up.

There are those of us who can completely agree with Coach without appearing to suck up.

We "agree casual" so no one can tell..

;) :)



I don't always kiss ass to people in power but when I do I do it all the way.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: franksolich on December 19, 2013, 05:51:53 PM

*****ANNOUNCEMENT FROM franksolich*****

Because of the, uh, weird twists and turns the voting took, the previously announced schedule is longer relevant.

I'll post a new schedule later, after I figure out the most attractive product placement, like setting up a display in a grocery store.
Title: Re: schedule of awardment for the Top DUmmies of 2013
Post by: Tucker on December 19, 2013, 06:15:57 PM
*****ANNOUNCEMENT FROM franksolich*****

Because of the, uh, weird twists and turns the voting took, the previously announced schedule is longer relevant.

I'll post a new schedule later, after I figure out the most attractive product placement, like setting up a display in a grocery store.

More like the corner window display at Macy's at Christmas time.

Anxious people ooohing and awing, waiting for the big moment.