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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: landofconfusion80 on December 12, 2013, 08:09:24 AM

Title: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: landofconfusion80 on December 12, 2013, 08:09:24 AM
What they do in mom's basement all day (http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024166622)

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Ichingcarpenter (29,400 posts)

The little known benefits of masturbation

 Since we have Porn and Prostitution threads.....
Masturbation may:
1. Promote the release of endorphins, the neurotransmitters associated with happy feelings that can improve overall mood and fight off depression.
 2. Produce a chemical called oxytocin, which works as a natural pain reliever.
3. Help reduce headaches and muscle aches.
4. Relieve stress and tension and aid relaxation after a stressful day.
5. Provide a sexual outlet for people who are on their own, by choice or circumstance.
 6. Help to induce sleep, or conversely, help to start the day with more energy.
 7. Improve the immune system and contribute to overall health.
8. Strengthen muscle tone in the genital and pelvic floor area, which can lead to better sex.
 9. Keep you free from sexual transmitted infections as it's the safest kind of sex.
 10. Help people who suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS), a neurological disorder causing leg pain, cramps, tingling and itching, (published in the medical journal Sleep Medicine). Several doctors in the US have had confirmation from their patients that it helps.
 11. Translate into better sex as stimulating each other at the same time is intimate and rewarding. People often masturbate into old age.
 Possible health benefits for women:
1. Combats pre-menstrual tension and other physical conditions associated with the menstrual cycle, such as cramps.
 2. Relieves painful menstruation by increasing blood flow to the pelvic region; which will also reduce pelvic cramping and related backaches.
 3. Builds resistance to yeast infections.
4. Allows women to explore and understand their bodies better, so they will know what they like when they have sex with a partner.
 Possible health benefits for men:
1. May help combat premature ejaculation by training to last longer; it's easier to practise control when on your own.
 2. Regular flushing of the system keeps semen healthy.
3. Frequent masturbation helps in preventing the development of prostate cancer. Cancer-causing chemicals can build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly.
 

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/the-little-known-benefits-of-masturbation-20131125-2y571.html#ixzz2nFmpVQZi
The ItchingCarpenter name really ties this whole campfire together.  

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Ghost Dog (13,292 posts)

2. Yes. I agree with all these points.

Guess it beats working too!

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handmade34 (10,801 posts)

6. "With regard to masturbation...


I think that is something that is a part of human sexuality and a part of something that perhaps should be taught,"
 
...a sad day when Joycelyn Elders was fired for speaking the truth
A blast from the past reference.  They were probably in tears when their favorite advocate was canned.

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7962 (1,061 posts)

9. Now I have several more reasons to not get anything done!

Blast!
Like you needed another reason.

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jamesatemple (262 posts)

23. WHAT?? Now you tell me!!

Good grief! You're about 70 years too late. You could have prevented all those years of denial, humiliation, anxiety, self-condemnation, redemption prayer, fear of toilet intrusion, and attention to the bra and girdle section of the Sears catalog. Oh well, at least I've managed to take care of my prostate gland. To think that mama would lie to me! Well, maybe not; maybe there is something to that "go crazy" part of the admonition.
She probably got tired of having to deal with all the protein stains in your superman underwear. "Sheesh, he's 45 years old, he has to grow out of this eventually!"  
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: JohnnyReb on December 12, 2013, 08:25:17 AM
1. Promote the release of endorphins, the neurotransmitters associated with happy feelings that can improve overall mood and fight off depression.
2. Produce a chemical called oxytocin, which works as a natural pain reliever.
3. Help reduce headaches and muscle aches.
4. Relieve stress and tension and aid relaxation after a stressful day.
5. Provide a sexual outlet for people who are on their own, by choice or circumstance.
 6. Help to induce sleep, or conversely, help to start the day with more energy.
7. Improve the immune system and contribute to overall health.
8. Strengthen muscle tone in the genital and pelvic floor area, which can lead to better sex.
 9. Keep you free from sexual transmitted infections as it's the safest kind of sex.

 10. Help people who suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS), a neurological disorder causing leg pain, cramps, tingling and itching, (published in the medical journal Sleep Medicine). Several doctors in the US have had confirmation from their patients that it helps.
 11. Translate into better sex as stimulating each other at the same time is intimate and rewarding. People often masturbate into old age.

Sounds like a good medicine, If it does all that, I shouldn't have bothered getting dressed this morning.

Anyone off to "Take their medicine? :naughty:
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: hillneck on December 12, 2013, 08:27:36 AM
I'm waiting for Nads to comment on this.     :rotf:    :-)
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: FiddyBeowulf on December 12, 2013, 08:32:48 AM
1. Promote the release of endorphins, the neurotransmitters associated with happy feelings that can improve overall mood and fight off depression.
2. Produce a chemical called oxytocin, which works as a natural pain reliever.
3. Help reduce headaches and muscle aches.
4. Relieve stress and tension and aid relaxation after a stressful day.
5. Provide a sexual outlet for people who are on their own, by choice or circumstance.
 6. Help to induce sleep, or conversely, help to start the day with more energy.
7. Improve the immune system and contribute to overall health.
8. Strengthen muscle tone in the genital and pelvic floor area, which can lead to better sex.
 9. Keep you free from sexual transmitted infections as it's the safest kind of sex.

 10. Help people who suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS), a neurological disorder causing leg pain, cramps, tingling and itching, (published in the medical journal Sleep Medicine). Several doctors in the US have had confirmation from their patients that it helps.
 11. Translate into better sex as stimulating each other at the same time is intimate and rewarding. People often masturbate into old age.

Sounds like a good medicine, If it does all that, I shouldn't have bothered getting dressed this morning.

Anyone off to "Take their medicine? :naughty:
No way!!! The thought of a bunch of DUmmies groping themselves has killed any urge I may have had...for about the next 20 years.  :puke:
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: Mike220 on December 12, 2013, 08:34:26 AM
I'm waiting for Nads to comment on this.     :rotf:    :-)

I'm sure Cali will be by to give some of his/her favorite pointers, in poetic form of course. :fuelfire:
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: landofconfusion80 on December 12, 2013, 08:38:16 AM
I'm sure Cali will be by to give some of his/her favorite pointers, in poetic form of course. :fuelfire:

Somehow you managed to make me laugh and completely ruined my day all at the same time.  You should really be ashamed!  You have earned both a Hi5 and a BS all in one post


Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: Freeper on December 12, 2013, 09:26:17 AM
If that was true, wouldn't the DUmmies be happier?
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: landofconfusion80 on December 12, 2013, 09:37:41 AM
If that was true, wouldn't the DUmmies be happier?

Imagine how self destructive they'd be if they didn't do that. perhaps Jergen's should suspend delivery to blue states for a few weeks, it'd be like Jonestown on a much larger scale.
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: Skul on December 12, 2013, 10:00:56 AM
There's got to be a CalPig poem in there someplace.  :whistling:
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: JohnnyReb on December 12, 2013, 10:14:22 AM
If that was true, wouldn't the DUmmies be happier?
No. Less happy. They're expecting the government to provide them a free mechanical arm to the job.
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: Skul on December 12, 2013, 10:16:12 AM
No. Less happy. They're expecting the government to provide them a free mechanical arm to the job.
Or a free strap-on.  :whatever:
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: Bad Dog on December 12, 2013, 10:40:33 AM
Pretzel Boy, the chronic masterbator.
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: BlueStateSaint on December 12, 2013, 10:44:21 AM
There's got to be a CalPig poem in there someplace.  :whistling:

Something with "aching seed," no doubt. :runaway: :runaway: :runaway: :whistling:
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: hillneck on December 12, 2013, 10:55:32 AM
Something with "aching seed," no doubt. :runaway: :runaway: :runaway: :whistling:

Maybe "Unfruited Plains" will be the title.
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on December 12, 2013, 11:16:09 AM
Anyone off to "Take their medicine? :naughty:

Nah...reading DUmmie 'thoughts' is a total boner-killer.
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: Mike220 on December 12, 2013, 11:20:55 AM
Somehow you managed to make me laugh and completely ruined my day all at the same time.  You should really be ashamed!  You have earned both a Hi5 and a BS all in one post




My work here is done.
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: JohnnyReb on December 12, 2013, 11:24:59 AM
My work here is done.
Young as you are, you'll just have to do it over and over again...uh...you mean...oh never mind.
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: Wineslob on December 12, 2013, 12:20:53 PM
Young as you are, you'll just have to do it over and over again...uh...you mean...oh never mind.


Ahh, the good old days.

 :rofl:
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: Skul on December 12, 2013, 01:19:42 PM
After viewing many images of the DUmps wymynz, I can understand why the DUmp menz would rather date Rosy Palm, and her five sisters.
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: Traveshamockery on December 12, 2013, 03:16:19 PM
I'm not really a prude, but can't people keep some things to themselves? 

 :whistling:
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on December 12, 2013, 03:17:51 PM
I'm not really a prude, but can't people keep some things to themselves? 

 :whistling:

They're DUmmies, they can't resist.  :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: Bad Dog on December 12, 2013, 03:19:41 PM
They're DUmmies, they can't resist.  :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

We're gonna have to get bigger dossiers.
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: Celtic Rose on December 12, 2013, 03:22:52 PM
I'm not really a prude, but can't people keep some things to themselves? 

 :whistling:

Wouldn't that be nice. 

Hint for the DUmmies, conservatives don't actually care what you do in your bedrooms, showers, etc.  We object to you forcing us, or our children, to listen to you talk about it or witness it. 
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: GOBUCKS on December 12, 2013, 03:23:48 PM
LocoNuts is sobbing in the Lounge.

His hand stood him up.
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on December 12, 2013, 03:25:41 PM
There's got to be a CalPig poem in there someplace.  :whistling:

Please NO!!!
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: BadCat on December 12, 2013, 03:35:07 PM
LocoNuts is sobbing in the Lounge.

His hand stood him up.

DUmmies are such losers, their own hands won't even **** them.
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: landofconfusion80 on December 12, 2013, 05:05:38 PM
LocoNuts is sobbing in the Lounge.

His hand stood him up.

That's understandable... it had other obligations at the rest stop...
Title: Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
Post by: tanstaafl on December 12, 2013, 07:03:27 PM
We're gonna have to get bigger dossiers.

Yeah. And with strings.

So they can be tied up and stuff. Don't wanna lose the good stuff.