The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on December 12, 2013, 06:04:15 AM

Title: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: franksolich on December 12, 2013, 06:04:15 AM
A primitive--never mind which one--recently alleged to management of conservativecave that conservativecave keeps files, or "dossiers," of personal information about primitives, for use by its members.

That is a most false and malicious slander.

All information about individual primitives that is on conservativecave exists only in fragmentary, diffused, and unorganized clutter in just about every forum here.  There exists no systematic centralized "clearinghouse" of information about primitives anywhere on conservativecave.

There is another web-site, not connected with conservativecave, that does in fact collect information on primitives, much in the same sense that the NSA, the FBI, the CIA, the Secret Service, the IRS, various local, county, and state law-enforcement agencies, &c., &c., &c., collect information on primitives.

Some members of conservativecave are members of this other web-site, as are others who are members of other web-sites and message-boards watching the primitives.

The primitives seem to be indignant that they are "watched," but given their seditious sentiments, their advocacy of violence and civil disorder, their bloodthirsty--but fortunately impotent--lust to kill, well, they have only themselves to blame.

Again, conservativecave does not keep files or "dossiers" on primitives.

- - - - - - - - - - -

One supposes this most infamous rumor arose because just as with Skins's island, there are forums here restricted to members only; i.e., unavailable for lurking primitives.

These forums are "closed" for various reasons, but in those reasons applicable to the primitives, they're closed simply to spare the feelings and sensibilities of the primitives.

The primitives have long whined to their lords and masters how we hurt their feelings, by what we say here.

Comments made in the closed forums, because lurking primitives can't see them, well, they can't hurt the poor wittle feelings of the primitives either.

We're nice people, courteous to a fault, shielding them from certain unpleasant truths and opinions.

That is all.  Thank you.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: Big Dog on December 12, 2013, 06:48:13 AM
A primitive--never mind which one--recently alleged to management of conservativecave that conservativecave keeps files, or "dossiers," of personal information about primitives, for use by its members.

Looks like a certain DUmmy received an early Christmas generic winter holiday gift:

(http://www.reverseshot.com/files/images/pre-issue22/B000F4TMI2.01._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V56569014_.jpg)

The primitives adore Soviet-style communism. How could they not like the KGB?
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: Carl on December 12, 2013, 07:23:13 AM
If they only knew how much their own masters let info out.   :-)
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: Tucker on December 12, 2013, 07:41:41 AM
Damn. Do I need to burn the books now?
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: FlippyDoo on December 12, 2013, 08:03:59 AM
As the official fictional spirit-guide representative assigned to Conservative Cave I have NOT been informed of any dossiers being kept here. In fact, I would be most unpleased to find that CC was keeping dossiers as everyone knows that 1357-15a of the Official Code of the VRWC requires that any dossiers kept by an organization be made available to the official fictional spirit-guide that is assigned to said organization.

The powers that be at CC, and CC itself, are members in good standing with the VRWC and would not violate the Official Code of the VRWC.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: franksolich on December 12, 2013, 08:32:44 AM
If they only knew how much their own masters let info out.   :-)

I always thought it was really odd about that site--which is NOT to be named here--about who started it; it's all very circular, and it's several years old now.

My guess--and it's only a guess, remember--is that it was started by a member of freerepublic who lives only a few miles away from the grasswire primitive in Oregon, although I dunno if they've ever met each other in real life.

It's by invitation only; it's very much like the Freemasons or the Illuminati or the Rosicucians.

One day one's just sitting around minding his own business, and suddenly a stranger appears, saying, "Hey, here's something we'd like you to see, and we'd like you to be a part of us."

One looks, is duly impressed, and joins up.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: dutch508 on December 12, 2013, 09:33:47 AM
I always thought it was really odd about that site--which is NOT to be named here--about who started it; it's all very circular, and it's several years old now.

My guess--and it's only a guess, remember--is that it was started by a member of freerepublic who lives only a few miles away from the grasswire primitive in Oregon, although I dunno if they've ever met each other in real life.

It's by invitation only; it's very much like the Freemasons or the Illuminati or the Rosicucians.

One day one's just sitting around minding his own business, and suddenly a stranger appears, saying, "Hey, here's something we'd like you to see, and we'd like you to be a part of us."

One looks, is duly impressed, and joins up.

That's pretty much how it went.

Although I don't go there often anymore- it is a completely seperate site, run by different people for different reasons. Maybe now that I am settled in after my retirement I can take some more time to surf.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: Skul on December 12, 2013, 09:40:54 AM
Damn. Do I need to burn the books now?
That would be fine. The originals are safe.
You just have an outdated copy, anyway.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: BlueStateSaint on December 12, 2013, 10:39:45 AM
That would be fine. The originals are safe.
You just have an outdated copy, anyway.

Yeah, he missed a supercession or two. ::) :whistling: :tongue:
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: franksolich on December 12, 2013, 10:59:14 AM
That's pretty much how it went.

Although I don't go there often anymore- it is a completely seperate site, run by different people for different reasons. Maybe now that I am settled in after my retirement I can take some more time to surf.

It's ridiculous.

It's almost as if the primitives think the DUmpster's the only place watching them.

I wish they'd go somewhere else and see what's being said about them there, and leave us alone.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: Chris_ on December 12, 2013, 11:09:18 AM
I wonder if those clowns still pay attention to Conservative Underground anymore.  They're definitely oblivious to DUmmies FUnnies.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: franksolich on December 12, 2013, 11:12:08 AM
I wonder if those clowns still pay attention to Conservative Underground anymore.  They're definitely oblivious to DUmmies FUnnies.

Right.

The record plainly shows the DUmmie FUnnies have been lethal to the primitives, beginning with the scamdal many years ago, and most recently with the brain-damaged primitive.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on December 12, 2013, 11:13:28 AM
I always thought it was really odd about that site--which is NOT to be named here--about who started it; it's all very circular, and it's several years old now.

We're not supposed to mention the 'Achafalaya' program or its related site here?  Shucks.

 :(
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: ChuckJ on December 12, 2013, 11:44:13 AM
I wonder if those clowns still pay attention to Conservative Underground anymore.  They're definitely oblivious to DUmmies FUnnies.

I believe all the attention is focused here due to frank. They fear him. They think if they can keep an eye on him they can keep him in check. They don't realize that he's a stealth ninja and that Chuck Norris comes to him for training.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: USA4ME on December 12, 2013, 11:56:26 AM
The primitives really need to just forget we're here and go on about their business. We're just over here having some fun from time to time and goofing off. We're just watching the show they're putting on. If they want to do what we're doing, they can either beg Skin's to create the forum or they can create their own website. But either way, just go on about your daily lives, primitives, and we'll do whatever we want to do.

.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: whiffleball on December 12, 2013, 12:31:41 PM
I can't understand why they're so fixated on CC.   Places like Old Elm Tree and Democratic Warrior are where they should be spending their time.  Both are full of ex DUmmies spilling their guts about everything from being former Mods (secrets, secrets) to revealing RL identities and proclivities.  No one here cares save for entertainment value.  Whatever information I've ever seen here has been personally supplied by the target DUmmy him/her/it self on Skins Island.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: GOBUCKS on December 12, 2013, 12:55:27 PM
The dossiers are great for the sake of curiosity, e.g., real names, photos, addresses, home photos, photobucket accounts, Facebook info, etc.

But the most potentially useful material is employer information. It's really surprising to see how many DUmmies actually have jobs with verifiable corporations. It's a testament to the restraint of decent and civilized people to consider how rarely this information is used.

I never cease to be amazed at how so much information has been compiled on such a group of obscure, deranged political nutballs.

Many of the DUmmy dossiers would make DHS proud, especially since all of them (I think) have been developed from public or otherwise legal sources.

It's just another reason to be thankful you're not a DUmmy.

Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: Tucker on December 12, 2013, 01:02:29 PM


Many of the DUmmy dossiers would make DHS proud, especially since all of them (I think) have been developed from public or otherwise legal sources.


You'd be surprised what information they give out about themselves in PM's when they think that your mole is a friend.

The thing that I really miss about the new breed of DUmbasses is the meet-up. They were a cornucopia of information.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: jukin on December 12, 2013, 01:22:06 PM
I can't understand why they're so fixated on CC.   Places like Old Elm Tree and Democratic Warrior are where they should be spending their time.  Both are full of ex DUmmies spilling their guts about everything from being former Mods (secrets, secrets) to revealing RL identities and proclivities.  No one here cares save for entertainment value.  Whatever information I've ever seen here has been personally supplied by the target DUmmy him/her/it self on Skins Island.

The DUches are vain, very vain, and we ridicule their atrocious behavior and beliefs. It hurts the very thin veneer that they have built of self esteem. Crazy people don't like to have their craziness highlighted.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: Carl on December 12, 2013, 01:45:54 PM
You'd be surprised what information they give out about themselves in PM's when they think that your mole is a friend.

The thing that I really miss about the new breed of DUmbasses is the meet-up. They were a cornucopia of information.

The DUmp is like a salt shaker when it comes to the info that gets spread around.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: franksolich on December 12, 2013, 01:50:21 PM
The DUches are vain, very vain, and we ridicule their atrocious behavior and beliefs. It hurts the very thin veneer that they have built of self esteem. Crazy people don't like to have their craziness highlighted.

Well, and I'm repeating myself for the nth time, there's an easy way for primitives to escape notice of those "watching" them, be it governmental agencies or private individuals.

Just don't say anything stupid, and I can guarantee the primitive won't get noticed.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: franksolich on December 12, 2013, 01:56:02 PM
Many of the DUmmy dossiers would make DHS proud, especially since all of them (I think) have been developed from public or otherwise legal sources.

Yeah, they have been, every bit of them.

We're not Democrats, liberals, and primitives after all.

All information over there was obtained from either public or legally-obtained sources.

No dirty work in it at all.

And about 75-90%--it's hard to be more specific--of the information came from each primitive's own mouth.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: Bad Dog on December 12, 2013, 02:06:37 PM
I would think they would feel honored to be deemed useful by decent civilized people.  They aren't seen as particularly useful by their progressive masters.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: franksolich on December 12, 2013, 02:07:56 PM
I would think they would feel honored to be deemed useful by decent civilized people.  They aren't seen as particularly useful by their progressive masters.

That's it; that's the only useful function the primitives serve in this society.

To be a source of amusement and entertainment to decent and civilized people, and to their lords and masters, both.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: BlueStateSaint on December 12, 2013, 02:16:15 PM
That's it; that's the only useful function the primitives serve in this society.

To be a source of amusement and entertainment to decent and civilized people, and to their lords and masters, both.

They also serve as bad examples.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: BadCat on December 12, 2013, 03:28:24 PM
I think the DUmmies should read up on a software product called "Accumulo",  because they're in it.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: franksolich on December 12, 2013, 04:02:29 PM
We're not supposed to mention the 'Achafalaya' program or its related site here?  Shucks.

You know, there's a reason I no longer invite people myself.

I'm a risk-taker, and while I'm perfectly happy to absorb the consequences of a bad risk, it wouldn't be decent and civilized to pull down others with me.

Years ago, when Scamdy first got underway, and was collecting all sorts of good information, I spotted a talent on Skins's island that'd be useful for us.  I didn't know much about him--certainly a great deal less than what I learned later--but figured he'd be a good addition in the backroom there.

So I invited him. 

He ignored my invitation--"Who's franksolich; a nobody, a nothing."

In case anyone's curious, that was the benburch primitive, Fat Che, I'd invited.

And then years after that, when this other site had started, and was collecting all sorts of good information, I spotted a talent here that'd be useful for us.  I knew some things about him, and they were all good things.

So I invited him.

He ignored my invitation--"Who's franksolich; a nobody, a nothing."

In case anyone's curious, that was AllentownJake.

Two primitives who carelessly threw away opportunities to penetrate to the core, because they thought franksolich was a nobody, a nothing.

<<<not much, but more than a nobody, a nothing.

Of course, it was a good thing they ignored my invitations, but again, it's a perfect illustration of why it's stupid of primitives to not pay attention to the advice and counsel of franksolich.  They inevitably lose, when they don't.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: GOBUCKS on December 12, 2013, 04:16:25 PM
Quote
that was the benburch primitive, Fat Che, I'd invited.

Quote
So I invited him...that was AllentownJake.

Coach would make a great corporate executive in marketing.
You may recall he singlehandedly maneuvered the worthless, undeserving DUmmy Ann Pritchett into a DUmmy of the Year award.

It was an outstanding P.R. job.

But don't allow him within a mile of Human Resources.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: franksolich on December 12, 2013, 04:21:28 PM
Coach would make a great corporate executive in marketing.

You may recall he singlehandedly maneuvered the worthless, undeserving DUmmy Ann Pritchett into a DUmmy of the Year award.

It was an outstanding P.R. job.

But don't allow him within a mile of Human Resources.

Yeah, it would've been, uh, interesting, having Fat Che in our midst at Scamdy.

I however justified it--after finding out what squalid trash he was--by pointing out that we outnumbered him, and could have him feed information to us while all we'd have to do to keep him quiet was dispense snippets of information about primitives he sought, personally, to blackmail.

Remember, that was Fat Che's raison d'etre on Skins's island; he got his jollies out of blackmailing his fellow primitives.

But in hindsight, no, it was better that he ignored the invitation; it would've given him the keys to everything.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: Tucker on December 12, 2013, 04:26:47 PM
Fat Che had another reason to be. Without him, what would we have called Fat Che's Little Brother?
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: BattleHymn on December 12, 2013, 05:23:53 PM
A new entry has been made at the other site. 
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: franksolich on December 12, 2013, 05:33:55 PM
A new entry has been made at the other site. 

Well, I've been waiting all day long for the pretzeled one to show up.

No particular reason; just that he gets engaged.

I wonder if he's going to.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: ChuckJ on December 12, 2013, 05:50:29 PM
Well, and I'm repeating myself for the nth time, there's an easy way for primitives to escape notice of those "watching" them, be it governmental agencies or private individuals.

Just don't say anything stupid, and I can guarantee the primitive won't get noticed.

Come on, coach. You know you're suggesting the impossible. It's like telling water not to be wet or fire not to be hot.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: franksolich on December 12, 2013, 06:09:29 PM
Come on, coach. You know you're suggesting the impossible. It's like telling water not to be wet or fire not to be hot.

Well, I'm not talking here about being stupid in politics; the primitives can't help being stupid in politics any more than I can help being deaf.

I'm thinking of other sorts of stupidty.

(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/dummiedestroyer/untitled9uf1.jpg) (http://s6.photobucket.com/user/dummiedestroyer/media/untitled9uf1.jpg.html)

^^^an old example, but it was on top of the stack; this sort of stupidity shows up on Skins's island just about every day.

Or this:

(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/dummiedestroyer/IanDB1Lieberman_zps221592df.jpg) (http://s6.photobucket.com/user/dummiedestroyer/media/IanDB1Lieberman_zps221592df.jpg.html)

Of course the skumbag primitive was lying; he made no such contribution.

That sort of shit, threats and lies.

Or talking about cheating the government with questionable claims for unemployment, disability, medical care, whatnot--it's pretty stupid to admit to such things publicly.

Or inciting race-hate, as was done with the Zimmerman-Martin case; that was nothing but pure racism, and hence really stupid.

Or revealing psychological problems; that's pretty stupid to do publicly.

And there's some things that are just downright silly, like admitting the wife makes one use the bathroom in the basement so one doesn't stink up the good bathrooms upstairs.  That's pretty stupid.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: ChuckJ on December 12, 2013, 06:44:49 PM
Well, I'm not talking here about being stupid in politics; the primitives can't help being stupid in politics any more than I can help being deaf.

I'm thinking of other sorts of stupidty.

(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/dummiedestroyer/untitled9uf1.jpg) (http://s6.photobucket.com/user/dummiedestroyer/media/untitled9uf1.jpg.html)

^^^an old example, but it was on top of the stack; this sort of stupidity shows up on Skins's island just about every day.

Or this:

(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/dummiedestroyer/IanDB1Lieberman_zps221592df.jpg) (http://s6.photobucket.com/user/dummiedestroyer/media/IanDB1Lieberman_zps221592df.jpg.html)

Of course the skumbag primitive was lying; he made no such contribution.

That sort of shit, threats and lies.

Or talking about cheating the government with questionable claims for unemployment, disability, medical care, whatnot--it's pretty stupid to admit to such things publicly.

Or inciting race-hate, as was done with the Zimmerman-Martin case; that was nothing but pure racism, and hence really stupid.

Or revealing psychological problems; that's pretty stupid to do publicly.

And there's some things that are just downright silly, like admitting the wife makes one use the bathroom in the basement so one doesn't stink up the good bathrooms upstairs.  That's pretty stupid.

How does that old saying go? It's better to have everyone think you're an idiot than to post at DU and remove all doubt.

Maybe that's not the exact wording, but it seems to fit.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: MoshMasterD on December 12, 2013, 07:44:41 PM
The only thing that remotely resembles a dossier is what they put on the DUmp publicly.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: Ptarmigan on December 12, 2013, 08:09:12 PM
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! No one told me about files or dossiers of DUmmies here. How come I am the last to know about this?  :confused:
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: USA4ME on December 12, 2013, 08:25:17 PM
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/dummiedestroyer/untitled9uf1.jpg) (http://s6.photobucket.com/user/dummiedestroyer/media/untitled9uf1.jpg.html)

That's really funny. Pitt must have borrowed from that after the late red round twinkie croaked and he did his lame "grind you with my heel" rant.

Their desire for revenge just never matches up with their ability to follow through.

Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: GOBUCKS on December 12, 2013, 08:30:32 PM
The best thing about the DUmmy dossiers is that they aren't subject to the Freedom of Information Act.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: Big Dog on December 12, 2013, 09:22:45 PM
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! No one told me about files or dossiers of DUmmies here. How come I am the last to know about this?  :confused:

We seem to be missing your Non-Disclosure Agreement. I'm sure we can upbrief you once that little box is checked, Mr. Ptarmigan.

Remember, the signature must be made with your own blood.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on December 13, 2013, 12:00:41 AM
(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/dummiedestroyer/untitled9uf1.jpg) (http://s6.photobucket.com/user/dummiedestroyer/media/untitled9uf1.jpg.html)

That's really funny. Pitt must have borrowed from that after the late red round twinkie croaked and he did his lame "grind you with my heel" rant.

Their desire for revenge just never matches up with their ability to follow through.



Yeah, there are few things that are both pathetic and amusing than bombastic threats from someone who is obviously powerless to carry out even the tiniest aspect of them.  Of course, that is a certain part of the DU hilarity factor which provides so much laughter for the sane here, at CU, and on DUFU.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: Skul on December 13, 2013, 06:11:15 AM

That's really funny. Pitt must have borrowed from that after the late red round twinkie croaked and he did his lame "grind you with my heel" rant.

Their desire for revenge just never matches up with their ability to follow through.
Well, sir, a few have attempted to follow through with assaults.
CalPigs poetry, gNads posts, and lately, pretzel-pu**ies troll (I nearly died laughing).
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: Tucker on December 13, 2013, 06:23:41 AM
We seem to be missing your Non-Disclosure Agreement. I'm sure we can upbrief you once that little box is checked, Mr. Ptarmigan.

Remember, the signature must be made with your own blood.

Or the blood of a DUmmy. Preferably one that doesn't have cooties.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: Big Dog on December 13, 2013, 06:33:02 AM
Or the blood of a DUmmy. Preferably one that doesn't have cooties.

(http://sweetpeaspastries.com/wp-includes/js/tinymce/biohazard-sign-printable-i14.png)
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: BlueStateSaint on December 13, 2013, 07:04:13 AM
How does that old saying go? It's better to have everyone think you're an idiot than to post at DU and remove all doubt.

Maybe that's not the exact wording, but it seems to fit.

Well, that works . . . I think it actually goes thusly:

It is better for one to remain silent and be thought of as a fool, than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: franksolich on December 13, 2013, 08:32:59 AM
Well, that works . . . I think it actually goes thusly:

It is better for one to remain silent and be thought of as a fool, than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.

Think about it; think about how the sparkling old dude's always resented us, even though it was in good fun.

There was nothing, absolutely nothing, that made him stick out from the other primitives, until that fateful comment he made about his wife making him use the bathroom in the basement.

He made that comment near the end of our stay at our old home, years ago.

That forever formed everybody's impression of him, no matter whatever else he said or did.

That was really stupid of him to admit to that; if he hadn't, he probably would've been taken more seriously all these subsequent years.

Now, nobody's perfect; I've said some pretty stupid things myself, that have probably given others a less-than-flattering impression of me.  But the difference in our reactions says much about the differences between decent and civilized people, and primitives.

Whenever I've said something stupid or ridiculous, I've been embarrassed, but well, excresence happens.  One accepts, adapts, and moves on.

The sparkling old dude's reaction on the other hand, was that he formed a lifelong grudge against anybody and everybody who had learned that intimate detail of his personal life.  He wouldn't let go, and his grudge kept that "image" of him very much alive all these past years, instead of it gradually fading from memories.

He shouldn've just laughed at his gaffe, and carried on.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: franksolich on December 16, 2013, 09:50:59 PM
You'd be surprised what information they give out about themselves in PM's when they think that your mole is a friend.

Yeah.

That happened to me this evening, although I haven't decided whether or not to use it in one of the Top DUmmie awards if a particular primitive wins a spot in the top ten.

In personal messages, primitives really need to be more inhibited.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: txradioguy on December 17, 2013, 09:22:40 AM
I wonder if those clowns still pay attention to Conservative Underground anymore.  They're definitely oblivious to DUmmies FUnnies.

Every so often I google my name and Clown Posse or add a couple of the names I remember like nolu chan and DivaBetsyRoss to the search to see if my name comes up in any new discussions.  Nothing out there from those mouth breathers in the last 3 years.

Though I do have a link to a repository they started that has just about every post I made during the time they came here and to CU to harass me.
Title: Re: a most false and malicious slander
Post by: Chris_ on December 17, 2013, 09:26:03 AM
Every so often I google my name and Clown Posse or add a couple of the names I remember like nolu chan and DivaBetsyRoss to the search to see if my name comes up in any new discussions.  Nothing out there from those mouth breathers in the last 3 years.

Though I do have a link to a repository they started that has just about every post I made during the time they came here and to CU to harass me.
I have a Google Alert set up under my name. So far, I've learned that I am a motorcycle drag racer, a mayor of a small town in Australia, and a well-known screenwriter.

It's kind of fun.