The Conservative Cave

The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: ColonelCarrots on November 04, 2013, 05:46:25 AM

Title: I'm finally old.
Post by: ColonelCarrots on November 04, 2013, 05:46:25 AM
I can't keep up with the latest pop culture. I can hardly find any new music I like. I'm grumpy all the time. I don't know what's trending on the internet. I can't figure out social media. I get heartburn from eating pizza.

Maybe Vesta and I can reminisce on our lives together and drink prune juice.
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Big Dog on November 04, 2013, 06:18:55 AM
What a drag it is, getting old.

Have a Prune-tini.

(http://londoncocktailscholars.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/sine-qua-non-london-cocktail-scholars.jpg)

Now that you are eligible for the senior discount at Denny's, I can share the Secret Knowledge of Getting Older:

"Never trust a fart".

 :hyper: :hyper: :hyper:
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: JohnnyReb on November 04, 2013, 07:38:19 AM


"Never trust a fart".

 :hyper: :hyper: :hyper:
I just thought I was getting old....I can still tell the difference.
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Chris_ on November 04, 2013, 08:26:18 AM
You're old when you get winded tying your shoes.
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: obumazombie on November 04, 2013, 09:21:55 AM
You're old when you get winded tying your shoes.
Even more when I tie them together.
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Dori on November 04, 2013, 09:51:03 AM
Even more when I tie them together.

 :lol:
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Bad Dog on November 04, 2013, 10:16:31 AM
You are not old when you forget to zip up, you are old when you forget to zip down.  (George Burns stole this from Bob Hope or vers visa)
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Eupher on November 04, 2013, 11:09:23 AM
You are not old when you forget to zip up, you are old when you forget to zip down.  (George Burns stole this from Bob Hope or vers visa)

Damn. That happened to me the other day.  :shucks:
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Mr Mannn on November 04, 2013, 05:13:47 PM
I was in my 30's when I discovered I was old. Kids were wearing Mohawks then. and This teeny bopper had a sideways mohawk.... I remember thinking, "We didn't dress like that when I was in school!"

It took me a moment to realize, I've become my Dad! I'm Old!
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Splashdown on November 04, 2013, 05:20:17 PM
I've been old since I was in my teens.
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: ColonelCarrots on November 04, 2013, 05:23:22 PM
I'm only 21!
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Mr Mannn on November 04, 2013, 06:28:32 PM
I'm only 21!
Break out the walker, old timer.  And learn to drive those scooter things at Disney World.
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: biersmythe on November 04, 2013, 06:39:16 PM
I can't keep up with the latest pop culture. I can hardly find any new music I like. I'm grumpy all the time. I don't know what's trending on the internet. I can't figure out social media.

WOW that's getting old.......pop culture has always sucked, I have always had a hard time finding music I like, always been grumpy, Internet as you know it didn't exist when I was your age and social media IS crap.... :lmao: damn I have been old all my life  :tongue:
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Big Dog on November 04, 2013, 07:00:36 PM
I'm only 21!

If you were a dog, you'd be 147.

Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: seahorse513 on November 04, 2013, 08:15:49 PM
Oil of Olay is $7.95 in the Health and Beauty Dept, you better start stocking up kiddo!!
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Freeper on November 04, 2013, 08:21:00 PM
I'm only 21!

Heck you are still using the first pack of disposable razors that you bought. You ain't old.
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Airwolf on November 05, 2013, 12:15:27 AM
Old? When 800 years you reach ....... oh sorry got lost for a  minute.
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: catsmtrods on November 05, 2013, 04:20:04 AM
The thing you need to understand about aging is its relative. The less time you have the faster it goes. Its like a snow ball rolling down a hill. Live!! Never put off today there may not be a tomorrow.
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: vesta111 on November 05, 2013, 05:13:52 AM
I can't keep up with the latest pop culture. I can hardly find any new music I like. I'm grumpy all the time. I don't know what's trending on the internet. I can't figure out social media. I get heartburn from eating pizza.
Maybe Vesta and I can reminisce on our lives together and drink prune juice.


Mr. Carrots, I too am getting older then I thought when I cannot for the life of me remember having a life with you at any time.  Perhaps with your grandfather but at my age to even think of such a thing would put me in jail.    Make mine a prune juice and Vodka please.


Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: ColonelCarrots on November 05, 2013, 06:08:11 AM
Heck you are still using the first pack of disposable razors that you bought. You ain't old.
hah. No. Kidding me? I was growing a full beard at 17. Not a patchy one either.
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Big Dog on November 05, 2013, 06:37:50 AM

Mr. Carrots, I too am getting older then I thought when I cannot for the life of me remember having a life with you at any time.  Perhaps with your grandfather but at my age to even think of such a thing would put me in jail.    Make mine a prune juice and Vodka please.


And we loop back around to "Never trust a fart".
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: SaintLouieWoman on November 05, 2013, 06:53:34 AM
Oil of Olay is $7.95 in the Health and Beauty Dept, you better start stocking up kiddo!!

Maybe Col should strart with the Olay Regenerist as a precaution. With all te baby boomers around, it's probably their best selling product.  :-)
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Wineslob on November 06, 2013, 12:22:13 PM
Quote
Mr. Carrots, I too am getting older then I thought when I cannot for the life of me remember having a life with you at any time.  Perhaps with your grandfather but at my age to even think of such a thing would put me in jail.    Make mine a prune juice and Vodka please.


What's that saying? Oh ya, "A thing is a terrible mind to waste".
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: obumazombie on November 11, 2013, 11:46:37 PM

What's that saying? Oh ya, "A thing is a terrible mind to waste".
UNCF version... A mind is a terrible thing.
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: ChuckJ on November 18, 2013, 07:25:00 PM
From the time I was young I’ve liked music from the 50s and 60s. Elvis. Buddy Holly. Chuck Berry. The Supremes. The Shirelles. The Temptations. The list could go on for days. Up until my late 20s any radio I owned always had a station programed into one of the buttons so I could listen to that music.

A few months back I was riding alone by myself and grew nostalgic so I started searching the radio for an Oldies station. I thought I had discovered one when I found “Stop in the Name of Love” by the Supremes. As soon as that song was over they began playing a song that came out AFTER I became an adult, and I knew I had been mistaken about it being an Oldies station. I didn't change the station because I actually liked the song. Then, when the song was over, the DJ came on and said something that broke my heart...he called the song an Oldie.

It couldn't be true. It couldn't be an Oldie, but apparently it was. Then I began to wonder if music released after I became an adult is considered Oldies, what did that make me?
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: biersmythe on November 18, 2013, 07:56:28 PM
UNCF version... A mind is a terrible thing.

LOL
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: obumazombie on November 18, 2013, 08:08:39 PM
LOL
Thanks.
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: biersmythe on November 18, 2013, 08:09:51 PM
Thanks.
Your welcome friend!
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Crazy Horse on November 21, 2013, 05:06:57 PM
The thing you need to understand about aging is its relative. The less time you have the faster it goes. Its like a snow ball rolling down a hill. Live!! Never put off today there may not be a tomorrow.

Actually I've always said "It's like a roll of toliet paper, the closer to the end the faster it goes".

Same thing.
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: biersmythe on November 21, 2013, 09:46:17 PM
Actually I've always said "It's like a roll of toliet paper, the closer to the end the faster it goes".

Same thing.

HI5 great analogy....
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: ColonelCarrots on December 14, 2013, 09:26:44 PM
Got me first gray hair. It's on my right temple. I finally have wisdom.
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Eupher on December 14, 2013, 09:27:23 PM
Got me first gray hair. It's on my right temple. I finally have wisdom.

You sure it's not just dandruff?
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Big Dog on December 15, 2013, 07:06:18 AM
You sure it's not just dandruff?

Is he sure it's his?

 :-)
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: FlaGator on December 15, 2013, 08:34:20 AM
Getting old isn't for wimps...
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Ptarmigan on December 18, 2013, 12:08:22 PM
Don't feel bad. No one is getting younger. We all get older each day.  :lmao:
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: AllosaursRus on December 20, 2013, 11:40:35 PM
Gimme a break! Y'all sound like you've lived a lifetime! Not hardly! When ya have to go thru the wife's Cancer, my back surgery and still looking forward to another, provided the messiah will even let me have it, the wife's wrist surgery, prescriptions that never seem to end, and still have to man the rake and the snow plow, let me know! LOL!

I lose my breath goin' out to load the wheel barrow for the nightly wood. "Wood", BTW, has a totally different meaning now that I'm in my 60's, heh, heh!

Most y'all are just now experiencing life as it is supposed to be experienced. Ya didn't think it was goin' to be a picnic, did ya?

If ya did, yer on the wrong web site!

We have no sympathy! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

I luv you guys! You really do brighten my days!
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Big Dog on December 21, 2013, 06:29:35 AM
Oil of Olay is $7.95 in the Health and Beauty Dept, you better start stocking up kiddo!!

If corn oil is made from corn, and fish oil is made from fish, then how many bullfighters had to die to make your precious Oil of Olay?

 :panic: :panic: :panic:

Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: Eupher on December 21, 2013, 07:00:28 AM
If corn oil is made from corn, and fish oil is made from fish, then how many bullfighters had to die to make your precious Oil of Olay?

 :panic: :panic: :panic:



Only one. The bullfighter wasn't real educated, and he went ahead and misspelled "¡Olé!". That pissed off the crowd, who turned not just one, but six bulls loose in the ring and the bullfighter was gored 27 times.

Not a pretty sight.  :-)
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: biersmythe on December 21, 2013, 10:02:05 PM
Only one. The bullfighter wasn't real educated, and he went ahead and misspelled "¡Olé!". That pissed off the crowd, who turned not just one, but six bulls loose in the ring and the bullfighter was gored 27 times.

Not a pretty sight.  :-)

 :lmao:
Title: Re: I'm finally old.
Post by: obumazombie on December 22, 2013, 12:36:57 AM
If corn oil is made from corn, and fish oil is made from fish, then how many bullfighters had to die to make your precious Oil of Olay?

 :panic: :panic: :panic:



And hooligan soccer fans !
Olay olay olayolay