The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: Ralph Wiggum on October 15, 2013, 04:54:07 PM
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MrScorpio (57,246 posts)
Add your own: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb? (http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023856584)
None, they simply claim that light bulbs are unconstitutional because the Forefathers never had any.
:mental: :mental: :mental:
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That was so bad, it hurt to read it.
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Everyone knows republicans have their servants change them, how silly.
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Everyone knows republicans have their servants change them, how silly.
Only the black and womyn servants.
And children. Don't forget the children who work 20 hours days changing light bulbs for Republicans.
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That was so bad, it hurt to read it.
In all seriousness, does the pineapple-headed primitive have a mental disability?
I'd be willing to grade his joke on a curve if that's the case.
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How many DUmmies does it take to buy a light bulb?
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How many DUmmies does it take to buy a light bulb?
Does not matter the democrat party outlawed 100W bulbs.
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In all seriousness, does the pineapple-headed primitive have a mental disability?
I'd be willing to grade his joke on a curve if that's the case.
I wouldn't single the pineapple headed primitive out for mockery since every one of the other DUmmies that chimed in with a reply riffing on dorkio's joke was at least as stupid as the OP.
Response to MrScorpio (Original post)Tue Oct 15, 2013, 05:58 PM
MyshkinCommaPrince (537 posts)
12. Umm.
Four. One to break all the bulbs and blame it on Democrats, one to privatize the fixture and give it to a buddy, one to tell anyone in the now darkened room that darkness is light, and one to tell those outside the room that darkness is all those in the room deserved.
Or something. I never was much good with the jokes....
No shit?
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How many DUmmies does it take to buy a light bulb?
I can't do that, I'm on disability [/DU mode]
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I can't do that, I'm on disability [/DU mode]
Back in 1998, I changed a bulb without remembering to turn off the switch first, and it shocked me a little.
I haven't been able to change a bulb since, due to PTSD.
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How many DUmmies does it take to buy a light bulb?
They don't give us light bulbs here in the shelter. We have to do everything by the light of our obamaphones...
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None, they simply claim that light bulbs are unconstitutional because the Forefathers never had any.
These are the same people who take to the internet in a fevered 1st Amendment frenzy to tell you the 2nd Amendment only applies to muskets because the forefathers never had semi-automatic rifles riffles.
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Lame. :yawn: :mental: :loser:
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I wouldn't single the pineapple headed primitive out for mockery since every one of the other DUmmies that chimed in with a reply riffing on dorkio's joke was at least as stupid as the OP.
No shit?
I bet the DUmmie is better at jokes than economics. Or even rational thought.
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Here is one the Dork can try out back at the DUmp:
The Fence Test
You can't get any more accurate than this!
This is straight forward country thinking.. by
Jeff Foxworthy
Which side of the fence?
If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!
If a Republican doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a Democrat doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
If a Democrat is down-and-out he wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a Republican doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
a Democrat demands that those they don't like be shut down.
If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it,
or may choose a job that provides it.
If a Democrat decides he needs health care, he demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a Republican reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A Democrat will delete it because he's "offended".
[Well, I forwarded it.]
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Back in 1998, I changed a bulb without remembering to turn off the switch first, and it shocked me a little.
I haven't been able to change a bulb since, due to PTSD.
:rofl: :rotf: :lmao:
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How many DUmmies does it take to buy a light bulb?
734,385 new government union employees in a new democrat demanded government agency for the changing of the light bulbs of the disenfranchised because it's for the good of the chill'rin.
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How many Democrats? Oh, around 2553, give or take:
A person to replace the bulb.
A union shop steward to determine if the changer is working within his job description.
An OSHA inspector to measure the rungs on the ladder and ensure they're not too far apart.
Two EPA guys, one to check that it's disposed of in an approved container and the other that its changing doesn't disturb the nest of endangered cockroaches living above the fixture.
Five investigators from the Justice Department to follow up complaints that blacks are disproportionately asked to do this job.
One self-described "Reverend" with a bullhorn to agitate until he's made sure they do.
Thirty-seven OWS protesters on location to demonstrate against GE on behalf of Not One Damn Bulb Day.
An MSNBC reporter and commentator to breathlessly cover the event.
Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid to blame the Tea Party for "shutting down" the light.
One sitting President to hold a press conference the next day to take credit for it and brag about bringing forth "change".
Twenty-five hundred new civil servants to form a new federal department once it's realized what a complicated evolution it is.
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How many democrats does it take to outlaw lightbulbs?
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MrScorpio (57,246 posts)
Add your own: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
None, there are no light bulbs to change, thanks to the glowbullwarmingclimatechangewereallgonnadieepa shutting down all the power plants.
These are the kind of DUmbasses that would turn on the switch during a power failure, and cuss when there's no lights. :hammer:
How many democrats does it take to outlaw lightbulbs?
How many you got?
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How many DUmmies does it take to buy a light bulb?
None...they expect us to buy the bulbs FOR them.
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Don't forget the children who work 20 hours days changing light bulbs for Republicans.
Why so lenient?
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How many Democrats? Oh, around 2553, give or take:
A person to replace the bulb.
A union shop steward to determine if the changer is working within his job description.
An OSHA inspector to measure the rungs on the ladder and ensure they're not too far apart.
Two EPA guys, one to check that it's disposed of in an approved container and the other that its changing doesn't disturb the nest of endangered cockroaches living above the fixture.
Five investigators from the Justice Department to follow up complaints that blacks are disproportionately asked to do this job.
One self-described "Reverend" with a bullhorn to agitate until he's made sure they do.
Thirty-seven OWS protesters on location to demonstrate against GE on behalf of Not One Damn Bulb Day.
An MSNBC reporter and commentator to breathlessly cover the event.
Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid to blame the Tea Party for "shutting down" the light.
One sitting President to hold a press conference the next day to take credit for it and brag about bringing forth "change".
Twenty-five hundred new civil servants to form a new federal department once it's realized what a complicated evolution it is.
:rotf:
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Why so lenient?
Because people with compassionate conservatism don't kill their young before they're born like evil socialist. Therefore there are more kids to do the work and that reduces the number of hours required and they can go out and play some.....with toys because they get paid a living wage for a job well done.
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Democrats can't change light bulbs.....HAA-vard can't find a professor smart enough to teach "Light Bulb Changing 101"....and everyone knows you need a college degree to change light bulbs.
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Funny thread....great responses :rofl:
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Obama could only HOPE to CHANGE a lightbulb.
:rotf:
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Obama could only HOPE to CHANGE a lightbulb.
:rotf:
Finally trained him to hang curtains.