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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: Aristotelian on August 17, 2013, 10:10:48 AM

Title: Tav's latest news
Post by: Aristotelian on August 17, 2013, 10:10:48 AM
Quote
Taverner (54,262 posts)

I didn't get the job. ****all.

**** the wagon

**** everyone

**** it ALL

DUmp Link (http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018458583)

 :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: JohnnyReb on August 17, 2013, 10:39:07 AM
Don't get on the wagon and ride it to a job interview still smelling of cheap wine.
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: Delmar on August 17, 2013, 10:42:55 AM
Quote
Response to Taverner (Original post)Fri Aug 16, 2013, 10:33 PM
 applegrove (59,632 posts)
1. ((((Hugs)))) There is great happiness once you've quit the booze, found a decent job,

and are growing again. You gotta hold onto that.

Did you hear that Taverner?  You'll be happy just as soon as you give up the booze and find a good job.  Well, it was nice knowing you.
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: Aristotelian on August 17, 2013, 10:50:20 AM
Did you hear that Taverner?  You'll be happy just as soon as you give up the booze and find a good job.  Well, it was nice knowing you.

No way Tav will ever do that though.
Title: Re: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on August 17, 2013, 11:03:50 AM
Didn't Taverner recently say that there were 6 or 8 bars right by his office.

To paraphrase Mr. Solich, all DUmmies lie, all the time.
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on August 17, 2013, 11:19:54 AM
Quote
Response to Taverner (Original post)Fri Aug 16, 2013, 10:33 PM
 applegrove (59,632 posts)
1. ((((Hugs)))) There is great happiness once you've quit the booze, found a decent job,

and are growing again. You gotta hold onto that.

Then again there's always the sweet release of death, so you could just double down on that white horse...

 O-)
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: GOBUCKS on August 17, 2013, 11:21:08 AM
No!

How could anyone resist hiring an alcoholic heroin addict?

I'm getting a whiff of discrimination against his eggplant-shaped head.
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: Bad Dog on August 17, 2013, 11:39:44 AM
Tav and Dennis going over the edge at the same time.  Be still my heart.  What phase is the Moon in right now?
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: franksolich on August 17, 2013, 11:47:28 AM
Tav and Dennis going over the edge at the same time.  Be still my heart.  What phase is the Moon in right now?

Well, the full moon's next Wednesday.
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: Splashdown on August 17, 2013, 11:52:43 AM
could you imagine the alarms, sirens, and flashing lights at the lab when Tav's blood test results came in?

 :panic:
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: Aristotelian on August 17, 2013, 12:27:30 PM
No!

How could anyone resist hiring an alcoholic heroin addict?

I'm getting a whiff of discrimination against his eggplant-shaped head.


All of that plus the terrible tendency of business to discriminate against obvious slackers in their hiring.
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: NHSparky on August 17, 2013, 12:40:06 PM
You kiddin me?  Guy probably melted the bottle, he pissed so hot.
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: Aristotelian on August 17, 2013, 12:51:02 PM
could you imagine the alarms, sirens, and flashing lights at the lab when Tav's blood test results came in?

 :panic:

I'm not so sure - is there any evidence it got as far as the drug test?

Wouldn't the first ten seconds of slurred speech be enough to put an interviewer off him?
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: GOBUCKS on August 17, 2013, 01:54:45 PM
All of that plus the terrible tendency of business to discriminate against obvious slackers in their hiring.
Plus you have to remember the famous post from DUmmy Taverner lamenting how the news media always try to focus only on the negative side of heroin.
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: Big Dog on August 17, 2013, 02:08:15 PM
Tav and Dennis going over the edge at the same time.  Be still my heart.  What phase is the Moon in right now?

Let's see...

(http://static.ddmcdn.com/gif/telescope-sam-1.jpg)

The Moon is in the seventh house.
Jupiter aligns with Mars.


That means the dysfunctional DUmmies are winding up for an epic display of moonbattery from now until the Age of Aquariums!

Aquariums, aquariums...

(http://www.toxel.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/toiletaquarium02.jpg)
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: Tess Anderson on August 17, 2013, 03:44:41 PM
more update - tav is now reassessing his career options:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018458610

Quote





Fri Aug 16, 2013, 11:16 PM

 Taverner (54,262 posts)


The wife thinks I should quit pursuing my career dream


 I want to be in technical sales

I have done well in this

But when the economy went south, I was laid off

And have been able to only land SysAdmin type jobs since

I have been in the running for several sales engineering jobs since, and always made it to the last two, but for whatever reason, didn't get the job
 
Wifey thinks I should abandon this pursuit

I don't

Being an admin makes me want to continue drinking

Notice I said continue

I fell off the dog damn wagon

I deserve my shit


 ::)
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: Bad Dog on August 17, 2013, 04:25:40 PM
Wait a minute.....Does he even have a wife?
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: USA4ME on August 17, 2013, 05:21:12 PM
Quote from:
Taverner

The wife thinks I should quit pursuing my career dream
 
Wifey thinks I should abandon this pursuit

I don't

Don't be so hasty to make a decision. Kick back, have a few drinks, and think about it.

.
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: diesel driver on August 17, 2013, 09:07:25 PM
Don't be so hasty to make a decision. Kick back, have a few drinks, and think about it.

.


Nothing clears the head like sitting down and having a beer or 12.   :lmao:
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: GOBUCKS on August 17, 2013, 09:12:40 PM
Poor DUmmy Taverner Kregel sounds down in the DUmps.

Grey Goose and a mainlined speedball will make things look a lot brighter.
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: Delmar on August 17, 2013, 09:27:48 PM
Wait a minute.....Does he even have a wife?

Of course, that amber colored lover that is the wind beneath his wings.
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: Mr Mannn on August 18, 2013, 12:08:14 AM
Wait a minute.....Does he even have a wife?
She took the kids and left him. I doubt they even talk.
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: Chris_ on August 18, 2013, 12:08:30 AM
She took the kids and left him. I doubt they even talk.
Liberal family values.
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: GCBill on August 18, 2013, 04:57:54 AM
Of course, that amber colored lover that is the wind beneath his wings.

Everyone's gotta have at least one reliable friend.

(http://theridgewoodblog.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Heroin-006.jpg)
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: I_B_Perky on August 18, 2013, 07:45:36 PM
Quote
Taverner (54,262 posts)

I didn't get the job. ****all.

**** the wagon

**** everyone

**** it ALL

Wanna know why you didn't get the job, Tav? Cause you are a loser. From head to toe, you are a loser. When one looks up loser in the dictionary, it has your picture as an example. When you walk into a room, the loser odor permeates the whole room. People can smell it a mile off.

Your best bet at a job is to start dealing drugs on the street. You seem to have exceptional knowledge in the field of street drugs. One must go with one's strength... as it were... and your strength seems to be street narcotics. So go for it. You will make some money and the retirement plan is excellent. Free room and board. Free heating and cooling. Free exercise facilities. All you would have to do is worry about some minor details... like getting shanked or raped... but I'm sure you can come up with a solution for that.

So go for it, Tav!!!! Either that or save everyone's time and just off yourself and OD.   :loser: :loser:
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: JLO on August 18, 2013, 08:33:08 PM
Don't get on the wagon and ride it to a job interview still smelling of cheap wine.

Sounds like the guy at my last job.  He came in looking iffy, but the production dept hired him anyway to give the guy a break.  I talked w/ him a bit that day and he seemed nice enough.  That one day was all he could apparently muster. 

The next day, he came to work smelling of booze and that was the end.  Pretty sad.  :hammer:
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: Aristotelian on August 19, 2013, 06:15:48 AM
Wait a minute.....Does he even have a wife?

He bought her on-line from the far East - but then a while age he was talking about divorce lawyers, so it sounds like she wised up and left him.
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: Big Dog on August 19, 2013, 06:25:48 AM
Wanna know why you didn't get the job, Tav? Cause you are a loser. From head to toe, you are a loser. When one looks up loser in the dictionary, it has your picture as an example. When you walk into a room, the loser odor permeates the whole room. People can smell it a mile off.

Your best bet at a job is to start dealing drugs on the street.

Tav tried , but he ran into the same problem. Nobody wants to hire a junkie, not even drug dealers. He couldn't get past the interviews.

His only option was to go into business for himself, and he hates capitalism.

Quote
All you would have to do is worry about some minor details... like getting shanked or raped... but I'm sure you can come up with a solution for that.

For Tav, prison rape is not a risk, it's a benefit.
Title: Re: Tav's latest news
Post by: Karin on August 19, 2013, 07:26:48 AM
Aside from the drugs and booze, he's a hardcore communist.  The smell of that has to come out in an interview as well.  The purpose of a company is to make money, and if you're not 100% on board with that, then you don't belong.