The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: Ralph Wiggum on July 19, 2013, 12:55:47 PM
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Some of you may remember this thread, it was a bit of a classic years ago. Something reminded me of this thread, can't remember what.
Anyway, enjoy.
sniffa Donating Member (1000+ posts)
Mon Apr-11-05 12:37 PM
Original message
my neighbor is very, very, very angry with me (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3030601)
and i suppose rightfuLLy so...
i've Lived in my apartment for aLmost 3 years now - top fLoor and in a dumpy area... i have a mostLy private (in back - Lots of trees) baLcony that hangs over a brook that runs aLong the property Line.
usuaLLy when i'm drinking, i'LL reLieve myseLf into the brook. i don't think much of it, since i'm just sending it to the treatment pLant.. and, it's my new favorite hobby.
anyhow.. Late friday night, i step out there once again to smoke and make the brook babbLe some more. so, as i'm going a door opens and i see a shadow coming so i stop as quickLy as i can, and zip up.
for some reason, i assume this person is coming for me (i'm a LiL drunk) and i actuaLLy skuLk back into the shadows, in a cowering manner.
after about a minute (most LikeLy Less, but it seemed Like a Long time) i come out from the shadows to see if the guy is stiLL there - and there he is staring at me with fire in his eyes. i gasped, and went back into the shadows - not knowing why; i just had a creeped out feeLing.
then i hear, "you can stand up now!" to which i just ignored because i was stiLL trying to process what was going on. so the guy continues yeLLing up to me, "this is your naaaaayyyyybor. i deeeemand respect! this is your naaaaaybor here - come out here now to taLk to me!"
so i finaLLy come out of the shadows and over to the edge of the baLcony (where the parking Lights are so i can be seen) to taLk to the guy... and then he reaLLy Lets Loose. it was mostLy, "i Liiiiiivvvveee down heeeerreeee!!! what the heLL is wrooooonnnngggg with you!?" (yeah, he eLongated certian syLLabLes Like that)
i was kinda stunned and i just stood there staring as he continued to yeLL. he informed me that i've been doing this for "yeeeeaaaarrrrrssss" and more questioning of what is wrong with me. at some point, i say i'm sorry, and i won't do it anymore.
he apparentLy wanted a fight or just wasn't expecting that, because he then expLoded and reaLLy started yeLLing at me in a threatening manner.
again, i just stared - now i'm dumbfounded, and kinda scared. after about another minute of yeLLing, i said, 'i'm sorry. i wiLL never, ever, do that again" and i figured wouLd be the end of that.
oh no - sorry, wasn't good enough for him, as he continued to berate me, and question my sanity. i finaLLy nodded and skuLked back into the shadows. i can understand someone getting upset; i'd understand it even more so if he was earthy-crunchy who was upset with me poLLuting a man-made ditch with my urine... but this guy was out for bLood Like i was peeing on his porch (he doesn't have one) or something. he apparentLy, was buiLding that pent-up rage against me for yeeeeeaaaarrrrrssssss.
and so that, is why you shouLdn't pee into brooks when you think no one is watching.
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I forgot how annoying his capitalization of "Ls" was.
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I forgot how annoying his capitalization of "Ls" was.
I was just about to ask if it ever explained that.
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I was just about to ask if it ever explained that.
He's just a flipping moron.
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What a disgusting pig. Why can't he use his damn toilet like a civilized person? ::)
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What a disgusting pig. Why can't he use his damn toilet like a civilized person? ::)
In all honesty, I am guilty of "visiting a man about a horse" while on the golf course. And usually hiding strategically behind a tree.
But I sure as hell would never take a leak off a deck with neighbors below me. That is just idiotic.
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Ewwww.
:rotf:
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It's a guy thing.
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This blast from the past just shows how boring this crop of primitives are. All we have now is nad and her good rig and the death pool for taverner. Come on, DUmmies. Show a little flair, a little personality. I'm pining for cops jumping out of bushes, bricks (cans?) to the head, living in buicks, and fake seals with hot, rich girlfriends.
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But what's really unforgiveable is those capital L's.
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I was just about to ask if it ever explained that.
As I remember some drivel about being proud to be a liberal rather than accept it as being a term of derision...
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I think the whole problem was that he has to squat to pee.
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i was kinda stunned and i just stood there staring as he continued to yeLL.
I bet that stare looked like the one in this clip at :15-:17
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OU8-wEoYk1M[/youtube]
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In all honesty, I am guilty of "visiting a man about a horse" while on the golf course. And usually hiding strategically behind a tree.
But I sure as hell would never take a leak off a deck with neighbors below me. That is just idiotic.
I sometimes go to see an archeologist about a dinosaur tail.
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I bet that stare looked like the one in this clip at :15-:17
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OU8-wEoYk1M[/youtube]
That's the same look you get from Ivy League educated lawyers and politicians, too! :lmao:
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I was just about to ask if it ever explained that.
I think I read one time where he said it was to differentiate between him and some other person that supposedly impersonated him at some other board. Personally I think it is stupid... both him and his pathetic attempt at attention.
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Somehow I doubt anyone would build a multistory apartment building close enough to a stream to piss in it. More than likely the nasty **** was just peeing onto the yard and had the whole first floor area smelling like a sour latrine. His balcony probably smelled the same from all the dribble.
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Somehow I doubt anyone would build a multistory apartment building close enough to a stream to piss in it. More than likely the nasty **** was just peeing onto the yard and had the whole first floor area smelling like a sour latrine. His balcony probably smelled the same from all the dribble.
That's a rather profound statement, when delivered by someone with your avatar. :rotf:
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That's a rather profound statement, when delivered by someone with your avatar. :rotf:
Hey, anything I can do to honor our Dickhead-In-Chief.
:bouncingidiot:
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Somehow I doubt anyone would build a multistory apartment building close enough to a stream to piss in it.
Bingo. Clearly true.
DUmmy sniffa, you may recall, lived in a menage a DUmp with two DUmpette whores named Bibaby and Mrs. Sniffa.
His story, in the infinitely small possibility it's true, means he was pissing off his upper floor balcony onto the sitting area outside his downstairs neighbor's back door.
That is pretty bad, even for a democrat.
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Maybe it was a drainage ditch. I can picture a drug-addled DUmmy mistaking the two.
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DUmmy sniffa, you may recall, lived in a menage a DUmp with two DUmpette whores named Bibaby and Mrs. Sniffa.
Bibaby had been a DUmmy for a while before she met sniffa - being the dodgy perv he is, he decided to pull her despite the presence of a long-term girl-friend. Said girl-friend then signed up for the DUmp as Mrs Sniffa, and somehow agreed to let Bibaby come and live with them...a little later sniffa and bibaby dumped MrsSniffa.
DUmmy morals in action.
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Sniffa giving credence to the phrase that libs "piss on you back, then tell you it's raining".