The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: Freeper on June 23, 2013, 08:43:49 AM
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Omaha Steve (36,141 posts)
I finally got a smart phone
After years of bragging about I only want a phone that makes calls. Not even texts. While at a meeting Wednesday night I watched as people were looking up info during a heated discussion. So I got a smart phone with wi-fi. Just turning it on was a challenge. Culture shock.
OS
http://election.democraticunderground.com/10023069570
Looks like the 0bamaphone program is upgrading to smart phones.
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Oh, the big guy's just bragging again, to the primitives who can't afford it.
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Oh, the big guy's just bragging again, to the primitives who can't afford it.
Yes he is.
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Yes he is.
I wonder if he's paid off the unionized print-shop down in Lincoln that made his yard-signs last year.
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I wonder if he's paid off the unionized print-shop down in Lincoln that made his yard-signs last year.
They charged it to "DUST", and let the rain settle it! :lmao:
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I wonder if he's paid off the unionized print-shop down in Lincoln that made his yard-signs last year.
That must be rhetorical, since in the entire history of this country no DUmmy has ever paid off a debt.
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That must be rhetorical, since in the entire history of this country no DUmmy has ever paid off a debt.
Well, I'm pretty sure a unionized print shop would be upset if they knew one of their customers, when he had some money, instead of paying them back, went out and purchased some expensive item made by cheap sweat-shop nonunionized workers.
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His giant greasy sausage fingers will render it useless for research, he needs to hire an assistant to look stuff up for him at the next meeting.
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The guy is just a fat, sweaty, hairy version of Pam Dawson, running to the DUmp to brag every time he puts something new on his credit card.
Culture shock.
And he's one of those pinheads who for some reason think it's admirable or macho to brag about being ignorant of technology.
We already knew that Steve Dawes's ignorance extends far beyond technology.
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0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
It won't help his intelligence one bit.
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Pretty sad when your phone is far smarter than you are. Actually I'm guessing his can opener is too.
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Pretty sad when your phone is far smarter than you are. Actually I'm guessing his can opener is too.
Electric, or the manual one? :fuelfire:
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Electric, or the manual one? :fuelfire:
Yes.
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A smartphone with Wi-Fi is useless unless you are somewhere that has free Wi-Fi. And even then, the free Wi-Fi always sucks balls. Good luck, loser.
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Omaha Steve bought his new smartphone with the Mini-Taco App installed.
The app continuously tracks inventory and price of mini-tacos at all grocery and big-box stores within a user-selected distance from the phone. If a retailer puts mini-tacos on sale, Steve gets a text message. If a retailer has free samples in-store, the app alerts him with an audible alert and GPS coordinates with driving directions.
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Omaha Steve bought his new smartphone with the Mini-Taco App installed.
The app continuously tracks inventory and price of mini-tacos at all grocery and big-box stores within a user-selected distance from the phone. If a retailer puts mini-tacos on sale, Steve gets a text message. If a retailer has free samples in-store, the app alerts him with an audible alert and GPS coordinates with driving directions.
Does the app have a subroutine that pays for shipping? That way, he doesn't have to leave the sewage treatment plant.
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Sometimes libs pay off debts...with OPM.
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Does the app have a subroutine that pays for shipping? That way, he doesn't have to leave the sewage treatment plant.
Of course!
But Steve is not fishing out tampons at the sewage plant anymore. The Ed Norton of Omaha is on detached duty over at the Omaha Police Division, mopping up urine and vomit in the holding cells and fetching coffee for the police officers. It was the settlement for his latest worker's fraud comp case.
So now, Steve Dawes smells like old sewage, new vomit, and other people's urine. It's easier for Marta to find him if they get separated at Costco- she follows her nose to the mini-taco section.
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Pretty sad when your phone is far smarter than you are. Actually I'm guessing his can opener is too.
I was thinking the same thing. That phone by itself would walk circles around him.
(http://www.darcyandbrian.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/2012-10-21-11.12.49-e1353101170424-1024x764.jpg)
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Pretty sad when your phone is far smarter than you are. Actually I'm guessing his can opener is too.
To say nothing of his pet rock...
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Pretty sad when your phone is far smarter than you are. Actually I'm guessing his can opener is too.
His qualifications on can openers only goes up to the P-38.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P-38_can_opener
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They charged it to "DUST", and let the rain settle it! :lmao:
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
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His qualifications on can openers only goes up to the P-38.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P-38_can_opener
There is actually a larger version of that we used to call the P-45.
The actual designation is the P-51.
edit add
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There is actually a larger version of that we used to call the P-45.
But he isn't qualified to use it.....might cut himself.
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When I went to the space musueum there was something I saw that said that today's cheapo calculator that you get at $$ store has more memory/function capacity than the computer that took the guys to the moon. Anyone heard that before?
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When I went to the space musueum there was something I saw that said that today's cheapo calculator that you get at $$ store has more memory/function capacity than the computer that took the guys to the moon. Anyone heard that before?
Yes. That's how far computing power has come.
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O ho hum Steve. Now you have an object you carry in your pocket that is way smarter and way more valuable that you.
It probably has a calculator and can do math which is the undoing of all Progressiveness. You will have a tombstone within six months now.
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DUmmie Suffers Smart Phone Culture Shock
Some DUmmies have discovered Smart Phones and they are puzzled by the technology as you can see in this THREAD, "I finally got a smart phone." Guess what? Your humble correspondent also got a smart phone a couple of months ago. An LG Motion. So why did I wait so long? The main reason is that I wanted a cell phone with HD quality video and since the LG Motion has excellent 1080 HD video, I went for it. You can see for yourself the quality from this VIDEO recorded recently on my LG Motion. It features my niece and nephew, Genesis and James Jones. BTW, I will soon be featuring them in their own online video show. It won't be your typical children's show since it will also be of great interest to adults as well. For example, one show will change the way you eat breakfast. No kidding. Okay, enough of PJ "home movies" and back to the DUmmies... The amazing thing here is that just 10 years ago, crude phone cameras represented the cutting edge of cell phones. We take it for granted now, but smart phones have radically changed much of our life styles. If you doubt me, think back to the time in the not too distance past when, if you wanted to make a call on the road, you had to use a pay phone that could well have been covered in the lice of a drug dealer. So let us now watch the DUmmies enter the Smart Phone world in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thinking that Genesis and James Jones might soon be auditioning for the Food Network now that they have an opening, is in the [brackets]:
DUmmie FUnnies (http://dummiefunnies.blogspot.com/2013/06/dummie-suffers-smart-phone-culture-shock.html)
I can't stop laughing at this. :rotf:
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For the smartest people on the internet they sure do devolve into weeping children rather quickly with any mention of technology in a phone. They all seem to go backward;
I don't use a smart phone
Well I don't use a calculator, I use a slide rule
Well I use an abacus!
KC
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For the smartest people on the internet they sure do devolve into weeping children rather quickly with any mention of technology in a phone. They all seem to go backward;
I don't use a smart phone
Well I don't use a calculator, I use a slide rule
Well I use an abacus!
KC
Misplaced mine years ago......and have forgotten how to use it now.
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Misplaced mine years ago......and have forgotten how to use it now.
The last time I used a slide rule I worked for Terminix and had a fumigators license. That was in the mid 90's. I shouldn't have let that license go ...
KC
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All engines stop.
The DUmmies consider themselves to be the progressives.
What are they doing resisting technological advances? Isn't that a non-progessive thing to do?
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All engines stop.
The DUmmies consider themselves to be the progressives.
What are they doing resisting technological advances? Isn't that a non-progessive thing to do?
To a DUmmie, progress is <====== back that way toward barbarism and savagery. To a conservative, progress is ======> that way to a brighter, more intelligent, more civil future for all humanity.
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All engines stop.
The DUmmies consider themselves to be the progressives.
What are they doing resisting technological advances? Isn't that a non-progessive thing to do?
My point exactly. I don't know so much they are resisting as it is they are fearing the new technologies.
KC