HockeyMom (10,578 posts) Thu Apr 18, 2013, 09:40 AM
Diet help for Obese husband and Skinny Wife
My husband's BMI is 33.5 and has developed heart problems, and his doctor has told him that he is going to develop diabetes if he doesn't lose weight. He says it is my cooking that has caused him to gain weight. The major problem is that my BMI is 18.5 and I don't need to lose weight. I actually cannot afford to lose any weight.
I like to cook. When he was living by himself, he cooked a single baked chicken breast, pork chop, or steak, and a small amount of v*****s. He prefers meat, pasta, and doesn't really like v*****s. I do not like plain meat which I find gross and disgusting. That is why I do gormet cooking to disguise the taste of meat. When I was a young woman, I tried to become a vegan because of this but my weight dropped to 85 lbs and I became severely anemic. I would very happily follow a vegan diet, and not eat his baked meat, but I need to maintain my weight.
His other problem is that he snacks too much between meals. I don't eat between meals at all. If I do snack between meals to keep up my weight, I am going to have to hide it from him.
Any suggestions? I could make a vegan meal, just cook him a piece of meat with it, but I don't want to go down to 85 lbs as in the past, but my husband really does need to lose weight, and quckly.
This is a very difficult situation.
ginnyinWI (13,748 posts) Thu Apr 18, 2013, 10:11 AM
1. a plant based diet would really be the best for him
Check out the Engine 2 Diet people, or Eat to Live. For him, it is really pretty simple: eat fruit, lots of green leafy salads, cooked vegetables, beans and whole grains. Avoid added fats and sugars. Snacks should be limited to fruit. Fiber will keep him full--and the rest is sugar, fat and salt addictions which he will have to gradually get over.
Seems to me you could maintain your weight on the same diet. You just need to be sure to add enough fat and starch to what you eat. Like put a half an avocado on your dinner salad, and eat handfuls of nuts, and plenty of whole grains. Use full-fat salad dressings with olive oil, and add a little oil to your cooking after you have taken his portions out. Your snacks can be heftier--have snacks between meals that include something with bread or pita and something with fat in it like peanut butter or hummus. He will just have to be happy with his grapes or orange or apple slices.
Oh and another thing: make sure he isn't drinking any of his calories. His fruit should be in the original form, not juiced. Keep all the fiber in to keep him full. Only drink water, coffee, tea. Avoid diet sodas, which some think causes an increase in insulin levels and appetite. For you, drink your juice. You will get calories without becoming full.
supernova (39,119 posts) Thu Apr 18, 2013, 10:37 AM
2. Have you looked into low carbohydrate nutrition?
That might satisfy you both without having to go to the trouble of fixing separate meals for you and him.
Briefly you want to forgo the "white foods" that are primarily starch and simple sugars like baked goods from flour, pastas, rice, beans, until you lose weight. Leave off high carbohydrate veggies The carbohydrates from these foods enter your blood stream very quickly. For those prone to diabetes, they spike blood sugars causing weight gain, post-prandial sleepiness, etc. Many people over time and with better weight and blood sugar control, never go back to eating these foods.
In low-carb nutrition, you concentrate on:
- adequate protein for your height and weight
- 1-2 C of low glycemic veggies like salad greens, cruciferous veggies like broccoli and cauliflower, peppers, squashes, and other low GI veggies like olives. Condiments like mustard are fine. Basically anything with minimal carbs in it is OK. In sum, not adding up to more than about 20 carbs/day to start. Calories really aren't the main drivers here, it's carbs.
- The rest of your calories can be made up with healthy fats like olive oil, coconut oil. Since you aren't the one losing weight, nuts are a good option for you, if you like them. For people like your husband who need to lose, they hold off on the nuts until they are closer to their goal weight.
That's it in a nutshell. For more information, the Atkins.com website is a good overview of how to do low-carb nutrition. That system takes you through several phases that are easy to understand. In summary, you are learning to use the foods that you do eat to control your insulin levels, and therefore lose weight.
Disclaimer: I'm not an Atkins spokesperson, just someone who does use low-carb nutrition to control weight and feel great. And I point to that source because it breaks low-carb nutrition down to understandable modules. If you've never thought about food in this way before, it can be a little overwhelming. I also belong to a low carb group of professional researchers on Facebook: MDs, PhDs, RDs. I'm not a scientist, I'm a professional cook and they let me participate. These people are convinced that the data show that low-carb nutrition should be the first line of defense in treating anyone with metabolic disorder and diabetes.
Atkins Phase I - http://www.atkins.com/Program/Phase-1.aspx. You can also find the same information in the Atkins Books.
Nutrition and Metabolism Society on FaceBook - https://www.facebook.com/groups/276354325431/
Feel free to ask questions.
Eat less.
Exercise.
Works for billions.
Sorry, but how does the government come into that? How does over-complicating life come into that?
Tue Oct 16, 2012, 09:50 PM
nadinbrzezinski (118,980 posts)
Would like to share, mostly you can do it too
Yup I started to gain a tad, so went back to my usual eating habits... as in nothing major, just four pounds
Folks, I have maintained a fifty pound loss for now five years... would love to lose another twenty, but doc and I agree that this is probably set point...
You can do it.
More sex? Make him burn some calories.I wonder if the hockey mom is the sack full of antlers that she claims to be. She might be trying to make the chubby DUmpettes jealous by repeatedly trumpeting how skinny she is.
Not sure if he likes shagging bones though.....
Diet help for Obese husband and Skinny Wife
The major problem is that my BMI is 18.5 and I don't need to lose weight. I actually cannot afford to lose any weight.
When I was a young woman, I tried to become a vegan because of this but my weight dropped to 85 lbs and I became severely anemic. I would very happily follow a vegan diet, and not eat his baked meat, but I need to maintain my weight.
I don't eat between meals at all. If I do snack between meals to keep up my weight, I am going to have to hide it from him
I could make a vegan meal, just cook him a piece of meat with it, but I don't want to go down to 85 lbs as in the past, but my husband really does need to lose weight, and quckly.https://twitter.com/Humblebrag
Tue Oct 16, 2012, 09:50 PM
nadinbrzezinski (118,980 posts)
Would like to share, mostly you can do it too
Yup I started to gain a tad, so went back to my usual eating habits... as in nothing major, just four pounds
Folks, I have maintained a fifty pound loss for now five years... would love to lose another twenty, but doc and I agree that this is probably set point...
You can do it.
More sex? Make him burn some calories.
Not sure if he likes shagging bones though.....
"Yup I started to gain a tad, so went back to my usual eating habits... as in nothing major, just four pounds"(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MIZ_PDXfj9U/T6AJIuFal4I/AAAAAAAAAnU/RE6CdCdZnHc/s1600/theres-your-problem.jpg)
My only question is 'is it four pounds per day, or per meal ?'
Tue Oct 16, 2012, 09:50 PM
nadinbrzezinski (118,980 posts)
Would like to share, mostly you can do it too
Yup I started to gain a tad, so went back to my usual eating habits... as in nothing major, just four pounds
Folks, I have maintained a fifty pound loss for now five years... would love to lose another twenty, but doc and I agree that this is probably set point...
You can do it.