The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: bijou on June 10, 2008, 12:33:27 PM
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The end is nigh - except if you live in Texas, practice polygamy and change your name to Hawkins.
The House of Yahweh, led by fruit-cake Yisrayl Hawkins, says a nuclear holocaust will come June 12th.
But fear not there is hope for you yet -- just join his group of wackos and you will be saved.
Membership proceedure is quite simple: Fly over to Texas and live in the Yahweh compound, change your name to Hawkins and agree to worship, marry and sleep with Yisrayl if you are a woman or just worship him if you are a man.
Believers ignore the fact that Hawkins has made several end of the world predictions before with not so much as a locust in sight.
Replying to allegations he's running a bog standard cult Mr Hawkins (the original) said: "I don't control their mind in a witch-like fashion that the world is speaking of, to where I have some sort of power over them. I merely teach the laws to them."
He's is accused of having two dozen wives, and is facing bigamy charges.
link (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=169830&in_page_id=2)
Only two days to save yourselves from the coming catastrophe, hurry over to Texas. :-)
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cant do it that day... i have a party on the 28th.
after that, sure.
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well shit may as well call in sick today and stay home wont be around to cash my next paycheck anyway. :-)
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Shoot...I was closing on my 1st house on the 27th. Guess I should call my mortgage company and Realtor to cancel the sale...I was really looking forward to owning my own house...Guess I'll be in His house instead. Now :beer:
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Damn, payday is on the 16th.
I guess all that overtime I worked will be for naught. :banghead:
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Good grief people the world is ending and all you can do is complain about work. Hard work is its own reward. If you want to collect on your overtime you do have the option of joing the Hawkins Harem. :lmao:
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Good grief people the world is ending and all you can do is complain about work. Hard work is its own reward. If you want to collect on your overtime you do have the option of joing the Hawkins Harem. :lmao:
I do? Man, I dunno -- something happens to them women when they hit 18: they gits ugly.
Nah, I'll ride it out with a Stella in my hand.
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Well .... for all you wimmens that don't want to go to the compound ...... you can come on down to Texas and I'll make sure you feel like a woman when the end comes! :naughty:
Make sure you bring beer
Oh and an opener. :lmao:
KC
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Good grief people the world is ending and all you can do is complain about work. Hard work is its own reward. If you want to collect on your overtime you do have the option of joing the Hawkins Harem. :lmao:
Jesus Bijou, I already live in Houston's Hippie Hell. Hawkin's Harem sounds horrible. :-)
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That's my birthday! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
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Good grief people the world is ending and all you can do is complain about work. Hard work is its own reward. If you want to collect on your overtime you do have the option of joing the Hawkins Harem. :lmao:
Jesus Bijou, I already live in Houston's Hippie Hell. Hawkin's Harem sounds horrible. :-)
But is it worse than the end of the world? (Personally I'd take my chances with the nuclear attack) :-)
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June 12th in what time zone? It'll be the 12th for me in 17 hours.
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That's my birthday! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Well keep this story secret or you won't get any presents. 'I would have got you something but the world is ending today and I was afraid you wouldn't be able to return it ...' :-)
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Good grief people the world is ending and all you can do is complain about work. Hard work is its own reward. If you want to collect on your overtime you do have the option of joing the Hawkins Harem. :lmao:
Jesus Bijou, I already live in Houston's Hippie Hell. Hawkin's Harem sounds horrible. :-)
But is it worse than the end of the world? (Personally I'd take my chances with the nuclear attack) :-)
I guess you don't have any Hippies where you live. :whatever:
:-)
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That's my birthday! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Mine too. I knew you was good people.
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That's my birthday! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Mine too. I knew you was good people.
Soooooo your birthday's herald the 'End of the World' and somehow you are good people?! ::)
KC
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That's my birthday! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Mine too. I knew you was good people.
Soooooo your birthday's herald the 'End of the World' and somehow you are good people?! ::)
KC
It's President Bush (Sr.)'s birthday too. The day is a springboard for excellence in humanity. If it is the day the world ends, well, it's also the day Heaven starts.
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June 12th in what time zone? It'll be the 12th for me in 17 hours.
ha! guess the Hawkin's dude didnt figure this one out all the way just yet... :-)
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That's my birthday! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Mine too. I knew you was good people.
Soooooo your birthday's herald the 'End of the World' and somehow you are good people?! ::)
KC
It's President Bush (Sr.)'s birthday too. The day is a springboard for excellence in humanity. If it is the day the world ends, well, it's also the day Heaven starts.
Hmmmmm now that you look at it that way ...... I'm cool! :-)
KC
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So, how many business hours do we have left?
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Is it because:
June=6
12=6+6
2008=8-2=6?
Or is it just the voices?
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June 12th in what time zone? It'll be the 12th for me in 17 hours.
I think the sixth time zone from UTC would make the most sense. Possibly the 12th. If it were my cult it would be the 6.66th But that's just me. Considering the date of the EOTW, why not 6.12?
But since time is a psychological delusion it probably doesn't matter much.
Beside which, everyone knows the world ended on 12/31/1999.
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Figures the world will end on a Thursday. Just like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. :whatever:
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That's my birthday! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Mine too. I knew you was good people.
That's right, how could I forget? :cheersmate:
How come you aren't showing up?
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That's my birthday! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Well keep this story secret or you won't get any presents. 'I would have got you something but the world is ending today and I was afraid you wouldn't be able to return it ...' :-)
You Brits have a delicious sense of ha ha. :-)
He he he.... :lmao:
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June 12th of what year? :hammer:
I'm more afraid of tomorrow, Friday the 13th! Yikes! :tongue:
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About 30 more minutes............. when's it coming? :confused: lol
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It is a beautiful morning here, on Friday June 13th with no hint of a nuclear winter. :-)
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Maybe they were Ron Paul supporters. For them, the world might as well have ended yesterday.
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Maybe they were Ron Paul supporters. For them, the world might as well have ended yesterday.
Nah, for them it ended before it really started. :-)
Friday the 13th is here and I still have a mortgage. :bawl:
:-)
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It is a beautiful morning here, on Friday June 13th with no hint of a nuclear winter. :-)
That's a bummer.
Nothing solves the global warming problem like nuclear winter! :-)
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:popcorn: so.. here we are.
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I wonder if the recruitment rates at the Hawkins' Cult Compound spiked before yesterday or if retention did a nosedive today?
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Oh man that's right, yesterday was TEOTWAWKI. Shit, I missed it. Was it fun?
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:popcorn: so.. here we are.
Yea here we are with just another Friday the 13th.
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:popcorn: so.. here we are.
Yea here we are with just another Friday the 13th.
(http://www.starstore.com/acatalog/Jason-Voorhees-VI-2.jpg)
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:popcorn: so.. here we are.
Yea here we are with just another Friday the 13th.
well, when you put it like that .. :bawl:
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:popcorn: so.. here we are.
Yea here we are with just another Friday the 13th.
well, when you put it like that .. :bawl:
Dammit.....I always miss these big events. :thatsright:
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Another chance to party my ass off, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....