The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: FlippyDoo on April 07, 2013, 10:18:51 AM
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Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, CCers of all ages, Fictional Spirit-Guide Productions is proud to bring to you today the fictional spirit-guide with no smell whatsoever. He's part Irish Setter and part pigeon. He points out the good and poops on the bad. Fresh from a mission with Agent Cabbage and Blackie the Ghost Chicken to help the planet Mars stir up some things in Pisces and energizing the Neptune/Chiron conjunction in early Pisces, he's the one, the only, FlipppyyyyyyDoooooo!!!!
Flippy: Hello to all of you good people here at CC. It's been a while since I did one of these shows. Back in the old days they came sort of easily. We were in the 'terrible' Bush economy in which most of us were prospering and had jobs. It was easy to laugh. These days we're in the 'wonderful' Obamaconomy in which so many of us are struggling and so many don't have work. It's not so easy to laugh these days. With that in mind, I can't promise that this episode will make you laugh, but I'll will try to entertain you. Now, on with the show…
Flippy: Hello to all you DUers who are joining us. It's good to have you with us today so we can learn from all that wisdom and DU-level super-intelligence. Right off the bat let me ask what do you consider to be barbaric?
Bertha Venation: I find declawing cats and capital punishment barbaric.
nothingshocksmeanymore: The death penalty...
LizW: Capital punishment, corporal punishment of children, dog and cock fighting, and circumcision.
terry: I'll agree with the death penalty. Barbaric beyond words.
RebelOne: all hunting is barbaric…
Padraig18: Routine circumcision and capital punishment.
Flippy: I notice that several of you mentioned capital punishment as being barbaric. Why is that?
GliderGuider: I believe that all life is sacred. And that I mean all life…I believe that taking a life, no matter what the circumstances is wrong.(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x4141798#4142889)
Flippy: Okay, but what about someone like Saddam Hussein? He was a very bad guy. He had killed tons of people. Are you able to remember how you felt or what you said when he was executed?
dogindia: I AM VERY ANGRY. I AM VERY SAD. I AM VERY ASHAMED.(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x3001592)
Flippy: So the killing of Saddam actually made you feel that?
deepthought42: Me too.(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x3001592#3001632)
Flippy: Strange. So you really think all life is sacred and shouldn't be killed? What about animals?
nam78_two: I cannot communicate with animals. I have no idea whether they can understand the pain and suffering that other creatures feel when they kill them...Humans do not lack this capacity...I think that means we have to consider animal suffering no? Forget the kill or not argument...is it ok for us to inflict suffering, lots of it, and turn a blind eye to it? Personally, I don't think so....(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2821698#2822915)
Duppers: You've nailed the essence of my argument. We have the capacity of empathy, the capacity to understand suffering and pain of other animals. We, of course, are animals ourselves, barely removed from the caves and jungles. But we have developed and EVOLVED "conscious conscientiousness." If not, why else would this question even arise? …My apologies to any Asians folks here, but I find that asian cultures don't give a thought to this sort of question, i.e. they don't give a damn about anything that's not human and that angers me.(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2821698#2823534)
Flippy: So you're against killing animals or bringing any pain to animals?
SPKrazy: Humans are amazing in the lengths that we (collective we, not necessarily you or I) go to in inflicting pain and suffering. Although, I'm not proud of some of the things I've done in my younger days to hurt other things, I would not do those things today. Not because of some religious thing, just because it is wrong to do mean things to people, or animals.(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2821698#2830742)
beam me up scottie: You make a good point. I hope all of us learn to be kinder as we get older and realize how precious life really is. I do not even kill insects, bees, spiders and other way creatures that find their way into my house and get caught in a jar and released outside.(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2821698#2832096)
Flippy: So you don't even like killing bugs?
kedrys: Lately, I've been apologizing to God every time I squash a bug.(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x3426294#3426314)
Skip Intro: I do the same thing. If I can put the bug outside, I do. I don't want to bring pain to any living thing.(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x3426294#3426346)
Flippy: Okay. I get the idea. Killing anything that is living, including bugs, is barbaric. Before we go any further let me ask you if you think words matter?
Hosnon: Words are important because words mean things.(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2821698#2821995)
MonkeyFunk: They mean what they mean. "Blue" isn't an odor, "French" doesn't refer to natives of Patagonia and "defecate" doesn't mean to pick flowers.(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2821698#2822170)
Flippy: Excellent! I agree 100%. Words do matter because they mean things. A turd is a turd no matter how many times we try to call it a rose.
JVS: I'm going to defecate enough to give you a bouquet for that great post.(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2821698#2826253)
Flippy: Thanks, but that's REALLY not necessary. Besides, we're about to get to the part of the show that you probably won't think is very great. Are you pro-abortion?
WinkyDink: The TERM you want is "PRO-CHOICE." Thanks.(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1936507#1936548)
Flippy: Well, thank you too StinkyFink, but we've learned here previously on the show that words matter. Remember? You can spin things however you'd like, but it doesn't change things. Now, once again, are you pro-abortion? Don't be scared. Fess up.
Lucian: Pro-abortion? Absolutely not. Pro-choice? Absolutely. Nobody is pro-abortion.(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1936507#1936849)
Flippy: Stop being dense Lucifer. Words mean what they mean. You DUers told me that. The word "pro" means 'for'. So if you are not against abortion you are FOR abortion. If you are FOR abortion that makes you PRO-abortion. Now, do any of you have any honesty at all in you? Are you pro-abortion?
lapisizi: I am pro abortion.(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1936507#1936579)
Taverner: Call me pro-abortion because I am completely for the procedure.(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6449039)
noiretextatique: yes…and I will join you. I am totally pro-abortion too.(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6449039#6449055)
Flippy: I see several of you are at least willing to be honest about being for the killing of babies.
elfwitch: babies? Are you using their language? The whole pro-life mantra is that every life is sacred.(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x1084570#1084590)
riderinthestorm: That clump of cells is not a person's life. There are legal standards for being brain dead, and all sorts of other legalities about the status of human tissue in the US. Whatever you choose to call that group of cells in a woman's uterus - embryo, zygote, fetus, human baby - the medical community in conjunction with the Supreme Court have made a decision that it is not a person.(link) (http://sync.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=1624338)
Flippy: Actually, if you were paying attention at the beginning of the show I am using the DU mantra that every life is sacred. Even a bug. So it really doesn't matter if that "clump of cells" is a person or not. What matters is if that "clump of cells" is alive. According to statistics, by week 6 that "clump of cells" has a heart that is beating in a regular rhythm. A beating heart is a sign of life. Even if we throw out and ignore all of the abortions that take place BEFORE 6 that still means that you've supported taking around 900,000 LIVES.
merwin: The unborn fetus is not a person under our laws…(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=102&topic_id=1272990&mesg_id=1276732)
Flippy: Damn. How ignorant are you? I've not been talking about our laws. Haven't you been paying attention? I'm talking about using DU standards. Taking a live is barbaric. An abortion after week 6 is taking a life. By DU standards DUers are barbaric by over 900,000 times per year. But let's take a minute and play your game, merwin. Apparently you're saying that it's now A-Okay to kill something that is not a person. What is a person?
greyl: Let's list some requirements:
A person:
- is alive
- is aware
- feels positive and negative sensations
- has a sense of self (self-consciousness) with emotions
- controls its own behavior (can be held responsible)
- recognizes other persons and treats them appropriately
- is capable of analytical, conceptual thought
- is able to learn; can retain and recall information
- can solve complicated problems with analytical thought
- has the capacity for communication that suggests thought
Thomas White(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2821698#2823255nd has ramific)
Flippy: So you want to use Mr. White's standards for personhood? Okay, I guess you win. An unborn baby wouldn't meet all of Mr. White's criteria so I guess it's okay to kill them.
cliss: Heh heh: Don't feel bad.(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=4482866&mesg_id=4483195)
Flippy: Wait just a minute! I was just looking Mr. White's list over again and noticed something. DUers don't really control their own behavior. DUers don't recognize other persons and treat them appropriately. DUers haven't really shown much of an ability to learn. DUers haven't really shown much of an ability to solve complicated problems with analytical thought. It's almost like DUers don't meet the criteria of persons. Does this mean that it's okay for people to kill DUers?
Beaver Tail: The taking of any life is wrong imho(link) (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=4085045&mesg_id=4085185)
Flippy: Oh. So now killing any thing is back to being wrong. You guys really are situational. Let me tell you what I think. By your very words you are barbaric because you support the killing of over 900,000 lives per year. Regardless of whether or not an unborn baby is a person, EVERY PERSON was once an unborn baby. That is an undeniable fact. Since it takes a person to pay taxes in order for the government to give you your 'gubmit' check and since it takes a person to find a cure for diseases such as AIDs and since it 'allegedly' takes a person to be a liberal politician, every year YOU wipe out 900,000 chances to increase your check, cure AIDs, and increase the number of your politicians. By any standard, that means that you are not only hypocritical and barbaric, but it also means that every time you vote for a polltician who supports abortion you are voting against your own self-interest. What do you say to that?
nadinbrzezinski: Welcome to the iggy list.(link) (http://sync.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x461766#461983)
Flippy: Well, I guess it's not over until the fat lady sings or you end up a nadin's iggy list. That's it for today friends. Be sure to wipe the DU excrement off of your shoes as you leave.
DISCLAIMER: The above is a parody. It's made up. Well, it's kind of made up. The DUmmie answers were real because there's a limit to the stupidity that I can create myself, but the DUmmie answers were not to questions asked by me. You see, to ask the DUmmies questions I would have to have some sort of contact with them and having contact with DUmmies concerns me as its been a few years since I've had a tetanus shot.
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:II: :clap:
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Good one!
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Well done, fictional spirit guide!
My favorite DUmmy statement of the day:
LizW: Capital punishment, corporal punishment of children, dog and cock fighting, and circumcision.
DUmmy LizW has penises on the brain.
DUmmy LizW- as a rule, if a man is going to fight a dog, he should not use his cock to do it. And using a circumcised cock would be worse!
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Thank the spirit guides for our FlippyDoo!
:cheersmate: