The Conservative Cave
The Bar => Comedy Central => Topic started by: catsmtrods on April 04, 2013, 05:28:18 AM
-
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.
Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts. Well, after another beer and some heavy deductive thinking I have come up with the answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby and here is the reason for my conclusion: A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "it might be nice to have another child." On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case....time for another beer!
-
...
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby and here is the reason for my conclusion: A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "it might be nice to have another child." On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
...
There is the question of the aftereffects of each situation. Currently, 'nad kickin' results only in extreme pain and the possibility of permanent injury.
But what if, each time you got kicked in the nuts, a fairy* showed up within a year and gave you a new truck, or a pair of ATVs, or an 84" flatscreen. You'd never be sure what it was going to be, but it would be extremely cool and might, in rare cases, be as many as five at once. Or eight.** And, if you kept up the maintenance, they'd be with you for at least 18 years and after that would occasionally come back for a week at a time.
If that were the case, how often would you be willing to take a non-injury kick in the 'nads?
* You may think of The Rock in "Tooth Fairy" at this point, if it helps.
** "Octomom"
-
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.
Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts. Well, after another beer and some heavy deductive thinking I have come up with the answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby and here is the reason for my conclusion: A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "it might be nice to have another child." On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case....time for another beer!
Once a month I volunteer to get kicked in the nuts repeatedly for around 2 hours. I get slapped, punched, stomped on, kicked and groin shots. While I wear a cup and pads it still doubles me over with a stomach ache from time to time. I teach a Krav Maga women's self defense class where I am the "aggressor" once a month. I hate that week.
-
Once a month I volunteer to get kicked in the nuts repeatedly for around 2 hours. I get slapped, punched, stomped on, kicked and groin shots. While I wear a cup and pads it still doubles me over with a stomach ache from time to time. I teach a Krav Maga women's self defense class where I am the "aggressor" once a month. I hate that week.
I teach women to shoot. I do not volunteer to be shot in the process.
Just sayin'.
:-) :-) :-)
-
I teach women to shoot. I do not volunteer to be shot in the process.
Just sayin'.
:-) :-) :-)
LOL a very valid point, however understanding good sight picture and proper shooting technique can be judge by the size of the spread and placement of the target. Proper self defense can not be judge in the same manner. Trust me if I could find a target to stand in for me I would. Every now and then you run across a victim of assault. They either do not give it much participation or they go overboard.
-
The difference being women go through labor. Sometimes for days. I had a short labor with mine, (5 hours) but it was extremely intense. I also had very strong "after pains" for several days.
-
LOL a very valid point, however understanding good sight picture and proper shooting technique can be judge by the size of the spread and placement of the target. Proper self defense can not be judge in the same manner. Trust me if I could find a target to stand in for me I would. Every now and then you run across a victim of assault. They either do not give it much participation or they go overboard.
I bet. It's good to train full-contact, but it is hard on a fella's gonads.
I was teasing you about volunteering for painful application of female force to your man parts. Some guys pay for it, and some guys teach Krav Maga.
-
The difference being women go through labor. Sometimes for days. I had a short labor with mine, (5 hours) but it was extremely intense. I also had very strong "after pains" for several days.
You get to have the option of a spinal block beforehand.
-
:lmao: Just remembered my crazy cousin. 50 years ago a friend of mine asked her what it was like to have a baby she answered, "You ever tried to shit a watermelon?" :lmao:
-
You get to have the option of a spinal block beforehand.
True, but you only have a certain window of time inwhich to have the block for the actual birth itself. But if you get the headache afterward like I did with the first baby, you wouldn't want to ever have it again.
-
Both are painful I have had the nut shot and watched wife in labor
-
I've accidently sat on my nuts, bumped them with various objects, crossed my legs wrong, but have only ever been kicked in them once, by some douchebag kid on the playground back when I was in elementary school. All those incidences are things I really would rather forget. There isn't much as painful. However, I've pooped pretty hearty things, too. Even so much as to make me tear up, and wish I had never ate whatever it was that I ate. So much as to make me think my butt-hole was going to tear at both ends, and I'd be the really embarrassed one at the ER getting an operation.
NEVER would I want to crap anything even as big as a billiard ball, though. Let alone a WATERMELON! Ouch. :rotf:
I wave the white flag. You ladies win. :-)
-
I will say if it took 20 kicks in the balls to obtain my sons I would gladly go for it. But shitting a watermelon? You mean one of those little baby melons right? I'm pretty sure an 8lb melon would kill me!
Ya all realize it was a joke right?
-
I've accidently sat on my nuts, bumped them with various objects, crossed my legs wrong, but have only ever been kicked in them once, by some douchebag kid on the playground back when I was in elementary school. All those incidences are things I really would rather forget. There isn't much as painful. However, I've pooped pretty hearty things, too. Even so much as to make me tear up, and wish I had never ate whatever it was that I ate. So much as to make me think my butt-hole was going to tear at both ends, and I'd be the really embarrassed one at the ER getting an operation.
NEVER would I want to crap anything even as big as a billiard ball, though. Let alone a WATERMELON! Ouch. :rotf:
I wave the white flag. You ladies win. :-)
(http://ocvarsity.freedomblogging.com/files/2011/04/football-referee-throwing-flat.jpg)
Oversharing. 5 yard penalty.