The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: bijou on June 09, 2008, 02:53:25 PM
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A very funny bad review, I've never seen a full episode of SATC but thought this was hilarious.
A national IQ test for women takes place starting tonight. It's called, "Sex and the City," the movie (SATC).
If you like this TV-show-turned-feature-length-film and you're female, you failed. If you like it, and you're a guy, you threw away your man card long ago. You're not a failure. Just gay (like the people who created this show) . . . not to mention, completely bereft of testosterone.
When, early in his Presidency, George Bush had never heard of the TV show, he was attacked in New York Times reporter Frank Bruni's book for that. But, au contraire, it was a badge of honor for him and one of the few things that marked his intelligence and good taste.
A close-up shot of a woman's pubic hair sticking out of her bathing suit, and another woman defecating in her pants--both are, um, "highlights" of the SATC movie. GUH-ROSS. I thought I was watching a bad, juvenile frat boy movie. This is what substitutes for haute culture for women in America, these days. Very sad. But not as sad and miserable as these four haggish women, who like their former TV show, can't be called "past their prime" because they never were "prime." Just primitive . . . and reliably sleazy and low-class.
Unfortunately, they're Delphic oracles to far too many American women, if the long lines of drooling women who packed four large theaters at a promotional screening I attended were any indication.
SNIP
Men are from Mars. Women are from . . . aging slut hell. But, hey, their jewel-encrusted stiletto Manolo Blahnik satin pumps cost a fortune.
And that's all that matters.
http://www.debbieschlussel.com/archives/2008/05/hags_and_the_ci.html
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I'm sure all the "liberated women" will think I'm an evil, oppressive troll of a husband, but Sex and the City isn't allowed in my house.
By my wife.
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I've never understood why men think Sarah Jessica Parker is attractive. Blond and big tits maybe? The older blond girl, I don't know her name, used to be quite attractive.
But it's a girls and gays movie so our opinion doesn't really matter probably.
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oh for crying out loud - its just a movie!
you want to know why women are flocking to this movie? to see the 80 different outfits Sarah Jessica Parker wears and the shoes. and how hilarious Samantha is. the other two characters are in relationships and make some mistakes. ergo, they appear to be human.
as for being hags, hardly. i think the writer, debbie schlusser, has a major hate on for women who like sex and also like looking female and enjoy shopping. its a fluffy little movie - she needs to get over herself.
that she seems so bitter and angry at four ficticious women who are happily married and loyal to their girlfriends - isnt there something else going on in hollywood for her to get all bitched up about?
the wedding dresses alone were worth the ticket, but being a female, i guess i'm into that sort of thing.. :-)
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I've never understood why men think Sarah Jessica Parker is attractive. Blond and big tits maybe? The older blond girl, I don't know her name, used to be quite attractive.
But it's a girls and gays movie so our opinion doesn't really matter probably.
SJP is ugly as the day is long.
(http://www.exposay.com/celebrity-photos/sarah-jessica-parker-deck-the-halls-los-angeles-premiere-qDuQfP.jpg) (http://www.dkimages.com/discover/previews/946/85005471.JPG)
This movie is about "relationships" and, worse, how old ugly hags can get laid.
When SITC was new, it was about how young sluts can get laid (yeah, that was difficult). Amazingly, SJP looked like a basset hound back then, too.
Modern Womyn like to think it is interesting to anyone but them about how they get laid. For men, you put it out there, we take it. Not much plotline there.
Oh wait, here is the plot complication - men who are married who believe in their vows and love their wives and would never in a million years even look at another woman are stupid people who can be seduced, given enough time and booze and breasts. Except for it ain't true as all the happy guys by now know the difference between making love and shagging some 'ho.
If I was a woman, I would really reject this movie as an insult, as should they have done so with the series.
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I liked SATC. I wasn't addicted to it. I didn't get upset if I missed an episode. I did get a kick out of the escapism of it all. The show was total fiction. SJP living like she did on her salary? I think not. These four women were characters that resonated with people apparently. While I never could relate to most of the self-absorbed naval gazing or infatuation with NYC, I did enjoy some of it's more hilarious moments (and there were many over the course of the series). I guess it had kind of a train wreck quality about it. And yes, I thought Mr. Big was gorgeous and desirable. He was an archetype but let's face it, his portrayal would have made ME swoon just like Carrie if I were in her Jimmy Choos. He treated her like crap and was a scamp, but this IS fiction and ecapism we're talking abut. I wouldn't trade my dear one in for Mr. Big!!!
I'm not saying I'm a rabid fan, but I will probably buy the DVD when it comes out. It will match the series collection someone gave me for my birthday.
*Off to hide now :-)
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I liked SATC. I wasn't addicted to it. I didn't get upset if I missed an episode. I did get a kick out of the escapism of it all. The show was total fiction. SJP living like she did on her salary? I think not. These four women were characters that resonated with people apparently. While I never could relate to most of the self-absorbed naval gazing or infatuation with NYC, I did enjoy some of it's more hilarious moments (and there were many over the course of the series). I guess it had kind of a train wreck quality about it. And yes, I thought Mr. Big was gorgeous and desirable. He was an archetype but let's face it, his portrayal would have made ME swoon just like Carrie if I were in her Jimmy Choos. He treated her like crap and was a scamp, but this IS fiction and ecapism we're talking abut. I wouldn't trade my dear one in for Mr. Big!!!
I'm not saying I'm a rabid fan, but I will probably buy the DVD when it comes out. It will match the series collection someone gave me for my birthday.
*Off to hide now :-)
Dixie, if you read Vogue you have seen the gorgeous pics they shot of Big and Carrie ... I dont think I've ever seen pics like these before. I think SJP is pretty photogenic and a cute character. She may be dumb as a stump in real life (i have no idea) but her character is fun..
here is a pic and the behind the scenes video of their photo shoot. http://www.style.com/vogue/feature/051308 and in it, Chris Noth says, " Why do people always blame Big? He was always there. He was very honest about who he was." which is true... I loved how the movie brought Carrie back down to earth with Big... perfect ending.
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Thanks for the link!!! SJP can wear couture like the best runway models. I would never dress the way they styled her but I can't help but admire the clothes and shoes!!
And Chris Noth is sexy!
My husband calls SJP footface. :lmao: :lmao:
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Thanks for the link!!! SJP can wear couture like the best runway models. I would never dress the way they styled her but I can't help but admire the clothes and shoes!!
And Chris Noth is sexy!
My husband calls SJP footface. :lmao: :lmao:
do you think Chris Noth had under eye surgery before the movie?? he used to have monster baggage there.. although, I always thought he was pretty cute. Its the personality for me.. he looks like he could just sweep you off your feet with his build.
I think SJP is cute as a BUG... I would love to have her figure, but i'm much taller than she is, she is tiny. Which makes Big look that much more masculine...
Agreed on the couture; I love to look at it and I read all the magazines and my older daughter loves it and has the figure for it - would I ever wear it? Not on your life! :-)
I do love the clothes they put her in for the magazine spread... and the wedding dresses, OMG.. so gorgeous.
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YES! Chris totally had work done! I have pictures in my photobucket but can't find them at the moment.
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YES! Chris totally had work done! I have pictures in my photobucket but can't find them at the moment.
i thought, "he either had surgery, or he used Preparation H every half hour" ... :-)
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LOL! Hmm..does that work? :-)
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LOL! Hmm..does that work? :-)
well, it has shark oil in the cream which shrinks tissues..
i know models use it after a night of partying.. but under the eye is dicey, i would imagine you could so some serious damage to your eye if you got any of it on the tissue.
but people do use it for under the eye..
*ow*
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SJP needs a bucket of Prep H for that face. :fuelfire:
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SJP needs a bucket of Prep H for that face. :fuelfire:
all of you who actually watch the show, or saw the movie... please raise your hand :hammer:
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SJP needs a bucket of Prep H for that face. :fuelfire:
all of you who actually watch the show, or saw the movie... please raise your hand :hammer:
You couldn't get me to watch that with a gun. Just like I never watched nor will I watch F911 or Sicko.
I know enough about it -- it is about old women, some of which were always ugly, the rest who have become ugly, looking for wanton sex and relationships.
It is everything a straight man hates.
Let them do SITC -- the Next Generation. My cast:
Liv Tyler
Lucy Liu
Jessica Alba
Jessica Biel
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SJP needs a bucket of Prep H for that face. :fuelfire:
all of you who actually watch the show, or saw the movie... please raise your hand :hammer:
My wife loves the damn show (I watched it for the titties), so I have to raise my hand, and chew it off.
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SJP needs a bucket of Prep H for that face. :fuelfire:
all of you who actually watch the show, or saw the movie... please raise your hand :hammer:
You couldn't get me to watch that with a gun. Just like I never watched nor will I watch F911 or Sicko.
I know enough about it -- it is about old women, some of which were always ugly, the rest who have become ugly, looking for wanton sex and relationships.
It is everything a straight man hates.
Let them do SITC -- the Next Generation. My cast:
Liv Tyler
Lucy Liu
Jessica Alba
Jessica Biel
now to me, only Jessica Biel is even marginally attractive .. Liv Tyler will probably be a stunner in her later years, but right now she looks and acts like a duck :-)
Lucy Liu... I just dont get her at all. She could probably be a lot cuter if her personality wasnt so dead. :popcorn:
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SJP needs a bucket of Prep H for that face. :fuelfire:
all of you who actually watch the show, or saw the movie... please raise your hand :hammer:
I watched the show and saw the movie.
I enjoyed the movie for the most part. The clothes and shoes were definitely the best part though. Doubt I'll buy it. I don't even think I'll rent it.
Once was plenty for me.
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Ah Hell,
CHIC THREAD!!!!
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Ah Hell,
CHIC THREAD!!!!
Not if you would participate in the hijacking I started...
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Ah Hell,
CHIC THREAD!!!!
Not if you would participate in the hijacking I started...
See, If I made this movie it would star:
Catherine Zeta-Jones
Salma Hayek
Catherine Bell
Leeann Tweeden
And of course, I would play the part of a guy that slept with all 4.
No acting required, ahem.
:afro: :afro:
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I moved the slight NSFW photos to a new thread in the Short Bus area. While on topic, they were not appropriate here and fit better in the other forum.
Thanks!!!
LINK - http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,8598.msg101510/boardseen.html#new
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I moved the slight NSFW photos to a new thread in the Short Bus area. While on topic, they were not appropriate here and fit better in the other forum.
Thanks!!!
LINK - http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,8598.msg101510/boardseen.html#new
:(
I'll try to be safer. Dang Jessica Alba always popping out! :(
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No worries dear :-) Headlights happen!
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No worries dear :-) Headlights happen!
LOL!
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I moved the slight NSFW photos to a new thread in the Short Bus area. While on topic, they were not appropriate here and fit better in the other forum.
Thanks!!!
LINK - http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,8598.msg101510/boardseen.html#new
:(
I'll try to be safer. Dang Jessica Alba always popping out! :(
yeah and speaking of... Miss Alba just had a baby out of wedlock with her boyfriend... just fyi. :popcorn: :-)
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all of you who actually watch the show, or saw the movie... please raise your hand :hammer:
We didn't have to see the movie to figger it out. We've seen the commercials for how long? That's all we need to know.
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all of you who actually watch the show, or saw the movie... please raise your hand :hammer:
We didn't have to see the movie to figger it out. We've seen the commercials for how long? That's all we need to know.
its a friggin movie .. about fashion. lighten up already! :cheersmate:
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all of you who actually watch the show, or saw the movie... please raise your hand :hammer:
We didn't have to see the movie to figger it out. We've seen the commercials for how long? That's all we need to know.
its a friggin movie .. about fashion. lighten up already! :cheersmate:
No it is not!
It is cautionary tale to young gals out there NOT to be like the sluts in this movie!
Who gives a rat's patootie about Jimmy Choo shoes or whatever they're called!
This damn movie is the most disfunctional role model movie for women that I've ever seen!
:banghead:
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I moved the slight NSFW photos to a new thread in the Short Bus area. While on topic, they were not appropriate here and fit better in the other forum.
Thanks!!!
LINK - http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,8598.msg101510/boardseen.html#new
:(
I'll try to be safer. Dang Jessica Alba always popping out! :(
yeah and speaking of... Miss Alba just had a baby out of wedlock with her boyfriend... just fyi. :popcorn: :-)
Well, I was just suggesting that if you make a movie about sex it should star sexy women. One would be hard-pressed to find a starlet who isn't a slut and a bimbo.
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all of you who actually watch the show, or saw the movie... please raise your hand :hammer:
We didn't have to see the movie to figger it out. We've seen the commercials for how long? That's all we need to know.
its a friggin movie .. about fashion. lighten up already! :cheersmate:
No it is not!
It is cautionary tale to young gals out there NOT to be like the sluts in this movie!
Who gives a rat's patootie about Jimmy Choo shoes or whatever they're called!
This damn movie is the most disfunctional role model movie for women that I've ever seen!
:banghead:
sorry, the movie is a blockbuster because women like, no LOVE, fashion.
sorry if it irritates you.. sorry if you dont get the whole Jimmy Choo Shoes thing.
i loved it, and am seeing it again tomorrow night with my girlfriends. my husband thought the movie was a hoot and loved the sex scenes between the monogamous married people..
so.. there .. :tongue: :popcorn:
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all of you who actually watch the show, or saw the movie... please raise your hand :hammer:
We didn't have to see the movie to figger it out. We've seen the commercials for how long? That's all we need to know.
its a friggin movie .. about fashion. lighten up already! :cheersmate:
No it is not!
It is cautionary tale to young gals out there NOT to be like the sluts in this movie!
Who gives a rat's patootie about Jimmy Choo shoes or whatever they're called!
This damn movie is the most disfunctional role model movie for women that I've ever seen!
:banghead:
sorry, the movie is a blockbuster because women like, no LOVE, fashion.
sorry if it irritates you.. sorry if you dont get the whole Jimmy Choo Shoes thing.
i loved it, and am seeing it again tomorrow night with my girlfriends. my husband thought the movie was a hoot and loved the sex scenes between the monogamous married people..
so.. there .. :tongue: :popcorn:
It doesn't irritate me hon. It's quite comical watching people waste their money watching it. Knock yourself out enjoying it.
:whatever: :tongue:
Of course, if the roles were filled by the actrresses I mentioned earlier THEN I could possibly see a chance of me being interested. :-)
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im cool with that... :cheersmate: