The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on March 24, 2013, 08:12:44 PM
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You know folks. the inventory of primitive campfires seems to have decreased in quality the past few months, decent and civilized people being compelled to scrape the bottom of the barrel when looking around for something to bring to the DUmpster.
I dunno why it is; true, a few primitives have sprung loose of this mortal coil, a couple of them first-rate top-notch primitives, but I suppose the larger reason for the decline in the quality of primitive campfires is simply due to lack of motivation on the part of the primitives.
They need to be spurred on; they need to be encouraged to put out better.
Now, I dunno what we could possibly offer them as production bonuses--S&H green stamps, free coffee mugs, chances to win free sodas at McDonald's, &c., &c., &c., seem to pretty much be out, as those awardments would involve real-life close contact with the winners, and no way do we want that.
But surely there's something we could offer as production bonuses.
At the end of the first quarter, March 31, 2013, I'll go through all the threads posted in the DUmpster for the first three months of this year, to determine the most productive primitives, based upon the number of their original topics brought over here for examination and amusement.
And perhaps by then someone will have thought of an appropriate production bonus for the primitives who put out the most.
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How about a big, screen filling gold star with the winner's name emblazoned on it?
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40 acres and a mule so they can grow their own pot and shrooms.