The Conservative Cave
The Bar => Comedy Central => Topic started by: CG6468 on March 22, 2013, 11:42:10 AM
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Stolen from another site.
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers and a bartender."
"My wife wants sex in the back of the car. The only problem is, she wants me to drive."
"My wife and I were happy for 20 years. And then we met."
"My wife was afraid of the dark . . . then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light."
"We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations-- we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together."
"My marriage is on the rocks again, My wife just broke up with her boyfriend"
"I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me."
"A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."
"Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind her is his wife."
"A man is only as old as the woman he feels."
"Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do."
"Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him."
"Marriage is a wonderful institution . . . but who wants to live in an institution?"
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."