The Conservative Cave
The Bar => Comedy Central => Topic started by: Chris_ on March 04, 2013, 06:29:56 PM
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I farted on every single one of my employees. All 37 of them.
It was hot as hell in the kitchen that night, sometimes I like to turn off the air conditioning to give my staff a bit of a stir, it makes their blood flow, their tempers flash, but for some reason, their discomfort turns out better quality food.
So with all the air off, there is no air flow in our downstairs kitchen, and its small and cramped and really really ****ing hot, even in january.
We have our plates in the warmer under our pass, so i was helping my hot apps guy plate a new fungi misti when it happened.
He had the pan in his right hand, and we both reached to bend over to get the hot plate, i got there first, so he inhaled the entire hot air load that i let roar out of my pants.
It was bold, loud, and completely unapologetic.
I was louder though, laughing so ****ing hard at his coughing and gagging that i almost lost the granddaddy, the origin of the fart, the poop.
This actually did happen on fart employee #19, but we will get back to that.
So with this began my mission.
I had to fart on everyone that works for me, and write it all in a log book so that I can keep track.
Some people I couldn't just directly fart on, like my accountant, shes a sweet girl, and I think she might feel that I have accosted her or something, department of labor could be called, etc.., so much care has to be taken with these types of cases.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/3518036575.html
and it goes on...
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A new workplace game. Beware coworkers beware.
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A new workplace game. Beware coworkers beware.
New?
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A new workplace game. Beware coworkers beware.
:rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:
Farts are great!
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New?
Full-contact farting (as opposed to the long-distance kind).
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Full-contact farting (as opposed to the long-distance kind).
I had a buddy at a previous job, that specialized in Full-Contact Farting. So much so, that his coworkers kept calling maintenance about the foul smell in their office. (SBD's)
The worst was when he got you on the elevator. Dude could fart on command, silently. Now, that is an art!
:rofl:
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I had a buddy at a previous job, that specialized in Full-Contact Farting. So much so, that his coworkers kept calling maintenance about the foul smell in their office. (SBD's)
The worst was when he got you on the elevator. Dude could fart on command, silently. Now, that is an art!
:rofl:
The Pug and the Priest. True story.
My neighbors had a old Pug dog and we offered to babysit him so the neighbor could go on vacation.
One of the younger Priests at our church took a shine to my X hubby and would stop in for a few beers and watch the game, what ever was playing at the time. I believe the Priest missed his home life with parents and youngsters running about and a chance to be be treated like an every day guy. We treated him not as a Priest in our home, called him by his first name and he in turn wore every day shirt and pants not his Priest suit.
In the past when we had a party for the Crew he would arrive and outside of Hubby and I no one ever knew he was a Priest, he became one of the boys.
Now to our border the Pug, strange Dog. For some reason he took a disliking to the Priest, this dog would back up to the man and let loose a fart that smelled like rotten eggs. Had the fart had a color the area would have turned green or what ever. Once is an accident 2-3 times deliberate.
The oldest child suggested that we have the Priest bless our house as that dog was Evil. Her reasoning was no one but our family knew the man was a Priest, why just him unless the dog was some kind of a Evil Spirit?
Fortunately the dogs owner came home early and home the Pug went. Every thing went back to normal sort of, except when our friend the Priest came to visit the Pug would dig under fences to get to our front door. The one time I let him in he ran over and farted again on the Priest.
This all came to a stop when there was a bad accident, the Pug was loose and unfortunately when our friend the Priest left he ran over the dog sitting in the middle of the street. One of my middle kids asked if the Priest had given the dog the last rites at the scene.
When one has kids , prepare for questions one cannot answer.
Farts are normal every one has to release gas for health reasons. Ever ride horses ?
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Gotta be Mario Batali. :lmao: :rotf:
http://www.delposto.com/home.htm
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Gotta be Mario Batali. :lmao: :rotf:
http://www.delposto.com/home.htm
oh man, that's sick :rofl:
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oh man, that's sick :rofl:
I'm tellin' ya, it's gotta be him.
The Del Posta is right smack in the meatcutting district, where the farter has a joint. :stoner:
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Every time a man Farts, he's telling his wife, "I love you."
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Gotta be Mario Batali. :lmao: :rotf:
http://www.delposto.com/home.htm
Gasp, did you see the prices ?????
$165.00 bucks each to spend 90 minutes eating lord knows what, the choice of wine or tip not included, sitting at a table with [strangers? ] or friends and all sharing the dishes.
These customers are damn fools, or drug lords with money to blow.
I checked out all menus and did not see one dish I would order, the lobster was Chilled for gosh sake, Shrimp is chilled but Lobster, no way.