The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on March 03, 2013, 05:19:31 PM
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http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018320931
Oh my.
Taverner (52,392 posts) Sun Mar 3, 2013, 12:09 AM
My new song - "Wool Mittens" - give it a listen?
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/84808219/Wool%20Mittens.mp3
Taverner (52,392 posts) Sun Mar 3, 2013, 02:47 AM
1. Bump for the curious....
The above's the whole campfire.
There wasn't any reason for posting this thread other than personal curiosity, since I can't hear it myself.
Anybody here care to listen to it, and tell me how it is?
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I hope that isn't the final mix.
I tried to listen without holding him being a DUmmy against him, but it sounded so horrible I couldn't sit through it.
:puke:
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What the **** was that? :rotf:
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What the **** was that? :rotf:
I know right?
You would think that a drugged out liberal could at least put out a good tune.
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It sounded like those terrible songs that come pre-programmed into a child's toy.
The last one he posted wasn't much different. Juvenile, cheap, and boring.
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It sounded like those terrible songs that come pre-programmed into a child's toy.
The last one he posted wasn't much different. Juvenile, cheap, and boring.
The child toy tunes are Mozart compared to Tavs.
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Music from an 8-bit computer game. singer cannot carry a tune.
Tav, you will not be a lounge singer. Never ever.
Critic's Conclusion: it stinks.
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Music from an 8-bit computer game. singer cannot carry a tune.
Tav, you will not be a lounge singer. Never ever.
Critic's Conclusion: it stinks.
I was thinking the beginning did sound like something from Nintendo in the 1980s.
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It's the next American Idol!
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Good Lord that was horrible,there is nothing that could be defined as music with that mess.
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I was thinking the beginning did sound like something from Nintendo in the 1980s.
I was thinking the theme music to the old TV show The Odd Couple.
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He should get a tombstone for posting that crazy shit.
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He really knows how to Taverner up a song, doesn't he?
Tav is to music what CalPeg is to poetry.
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Good Lord that was horrible,there is nothing that could be defined as music with that mess.
I'm curious.
Does he have a bass, tenor, or counteralto voice?
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I'm curious.
Does he have a bass, tenor, or counteralto voice?
It sounds like four minutes of vomit.
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There was singing?
I didn't make it that far.
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Taverner, don't you pay any attention to what these other people are saying about your little song. You deserve a participation award and here it is:
:bravo:
Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars!
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It sounds like four minutes of vomit.
Well, because of the shape of his head, the Taverner primitive strikes me as somebody with a high falsetto.
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I'm curious.
Does he have a bass, tenor, or counteralto voice?
I suppose you would call it a tenor but he has his jumble of randomly plucked notes on different guitars so loud his "singing" is background noise.
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There was singing?
I didn't make it that far.
I dozed off, woke up and it was still playing. :rotf:
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Wool Mittens, huh?
Taverner primitive, the sheep wants its wool back. And its virginity.
Needs more cowbell. In fact, erase it, start over and just have a monkey bang on a cowbell. It'd be better than whatever that was.
.
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I suppose you would call it a tenor but he has his jumble of randomly plucked notes on different guitars so loud his "singing" is background noise.
If I had to guess I would also go with tenor, but the song is a mess.
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I'm curious.
Does he have a bass, tenor, or counteralto voice?
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I'm curious.
Does he have a bass, tenor, or counteralto voice?
I'd say low tenor, high baritone.
The song is awful, frank. Heavy on the organ but there's only maybe two chords he plays over and over. Even Gregg Allman knew three chords and could make them sound different. Then he plays these random strums of the lead guitar, but there's no coherency to them at all. Just BLOINK..bloink.......BLOINK bloink..bloink...etc... My guess is he would claim that his signature. He tries to come off like some kind of suave singer, but it just comes off like you'd figure he'd come off doing anything; stupid. It's really pitiful. For a moment, we all wished we were as deaf as you.
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I suppose you would call it a tenor but he has his jumble of randomly plucked notes on different guitars so loud his "singing" is background noise.
This.
I couldn't make out the vocals.
At 6 minutes and 26 seconds it drones on too long and the instrumentals are really much too complex, alot like a cat playing on a key board, hitting the same chord six times in a row is not Mozart.
Earlier in this thread someone lamented about this being the final mix, I agree.
I think this has potential, he needs a second opinion to help get it untangled. I do have to admit it was better then I would have given him credit for going into listening to it.
Obviously your mileage may vary.
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Taverner, don't you pay any attention to what these other people are saying about your little song. You deserve a participation award and here it is:
:bravo:
Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars!
That's the ticket. :cheersmate: Delmar
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This.
I couldn't make out the vocals.
At 6 minutes and 26 seconds it drones on too long and the instrumentals are really much too complex, alot like a cat playing on a key board, hitting the same chord six times in a row is not Mozart.
Earlier in this thread someone lamented about this being the final mix, I agree.
I think this has potential, he needs a second opinion to help get it untangled. I do have to admit it was better then I would have given him credit for going into listening to it.
Obviously your mileage may vary.
I didn't listen to it--don't want to drive Oreo bonkers, after all--so from what I'm reading, the impression I'm getting is that the best use for Tav's noise would be to drown out the sounds of torture in some Iranian prison. (Not even the drug cartels of Central and South America could stand to use it for that purpose.)
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Before he get to singing lessons, or even music lessons, tav should go back to pots and pans and learn how to bang things in rhythm.
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Bless his heart.
I thought you guys were just being mean until I listened to it.
It's like every midi instrument is playing a completely different song and playing it not very well.
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That's absolutely terrible.
Believe it or not the vocals are actually the best part. Not that they are actually any good, of course. But the music sounds like something from a 1980s Nintendo game . . . except with worse mixing and way more mistakes.
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http://ratemypoo.com/
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I must have a guardian angel...
Windows Media Player cannot play the file because there is a problem with your sound device. There might not be a sound device installed on your computer, it might be in use by another program, or it might not be functioning properly.
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Taverner (52,392 posts) Sun Mar 3, 2013, 12:09 AM
My new song - "Wool Mittens" - give it a listen?
I did, for about 25 seconds before I had to shut it off.
"Hot shot", I've heard cats screwing under garbage cans that sounded better than that. Did you write the synthesizer parts to be purposely jangly and out of place? Music isn't supposed to set your nerves on edge, well, love songs aren't.
Blecchh!
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I was thinking the beginning did sound like something from Nintendo in the 1980s.
The first thing I thought of...I played clarinet in the band in grade school for a couple of years. It sounds like every song we ever tried to learn the first time through. Especially during the first couple of months of our first year.
Cindie
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It's the next American Idol!
This guy had a better chance:
[youtube=425,350]0d5eP0wWLQY[/youtube]
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I think we've listened to that song more than anyone at the DU.
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OMGosh that was bad. REALLY bad. I guess Tav doesn't know anything about tempo or timing or ... or anything!
KC
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What I'm particularly loving is the complete lack of rhythm - the tempi are entirely inconsistent.
The different tracks sound like they were all recorded without any reference to each other.
It really is one of those, so bad that it's funny pieces.
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That was both painful and hilarious! :rotf:
"feel your swollen breast and I know you're there..."
There was also a reference to the other person being inside of him. Maybe he's in love with a tranny?
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That.
Was.
Horrible.
No rhythm whatsoever.
If ee cummings ever wrote a song, that would be it.
He was late with the keyboards on some parts, early on others, and the guitar "solo" was so bad my cat could walk across a guitar and it would sound better.
PLEASE tell me he was high when he wrote this.
If not, he needed to be.
And that singing was like one of those drunk guys at karaoke whose buddies tell him he can sing, even though he can't.
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The last time I looked, at least one DUmbass has rec'd the thread. Have there been any one ones?
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The last time I looked, at least one DUmbass has rec'd the thread. Have there been any one ones?
Guess which DUmbass rec'd it...the only one who's posted in the thread. I suspect the only one who's looked at the thread too (excluding us and moles).
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I didn't think they were permitted to do that.
That's so gay.
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That.
Was.
Horrible.
No rhythm whatsoever.
If ee cummings ever wrote a song, that would be it.
He was late with the keyboards on some parts, early on others, and the guitar "solo" was so bad my cat could walk across a guitar and it would sound better.
PLEASE tell me he was high when he wrote this.
If not, he needed to be.
And that singing was like one of those drunk guys at karaoke whose buddies tell him he can sing, even though he can't.
It reminds me of the Family Guy where Peter and Lois get and and enter a talent show. They think they're singing good enough to win and later wonder why they didn't. Chris breaks the news to them that they were just rolling around and screaming.
Someone should break the news to Taverner.
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http://ratemypoo.com/
Ahhhh! Gag me! I made the mistake of going there! Why?!!
I started to rate them and it got worse and worse.
What sane man could even be aware of that site?
I am ruined forever! But no BS from me...cause that's what you want!
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Ahhhh! Gag me! I made the mistake of going there! Why?!!
I started to rate them and it got worse and worse.
What sane man could even be aware of that site?
I am ruined forever! But no BS from me...cause that's what you want!
Love that site.
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I'm a long way from making money on the sidewalk playing guitar, and I have a voice that belongs in a choir as long as I sing at a level so as not to be heard over actual singers.
This however is just plain bad. As already covered, the intro sounds like a Nintendo game. The music tone is played too high for his voice, he needs to bring it down at least one octave.
He needs to decide what is playing the rhythm and what is playing melody, it sounds like the guitar and the organ are in competition for it, when either of them hit the mark, wherever that is. Worse it's a slap fight between two boys that just ain't right.
The synthesizer is just plain awful and that entire track should be dumped, it's not recoverable.
Why did he space out all the notes in the guitar? Guitar playing 101 teaches that particular item is a non-starter as it immediately loses the attention of the audience. I'd recommend he put the melody here, as it is plain that he doesn't have goood rhythm technique on the guitar.
The organ is bad as well. It's early, it's late, it's out of sequence, it's out of tune. It's also easier to play rhythm chords on with a metronome and tape on the keys.
About the voice. Taverner quit trying to sound like an Eric Clapton wanna be. There's a million of them and they mostly all suck at it. Your voice isn't trained to any degree, it comes across as flat, which wouldn't be a bad way to play this song come to think of it. You are also off key, even if you had played the music in the right octave. Lastly, the voice track should be at the same level as the rest of the tracks. Instead, it's about 2 dB below where it should be.
That should be about all he needs to do to fix bring it up to merely sub-par.
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:rotf:
He made this with a Casio keyboard... :rotf:
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Tough crowd right?
Iv'e looked at your original thread.
You're not exactly getting any help.
We on the other hand offer sound advise.
I got a tin ear but I think I could help.
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I had to think about this but my vision for this song is Donovan.
Is that right?
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I did, for about 25 seconds before I had to shut it off.
"Hot shot", I've heard cats screwing under garbage cans that sounded better than that. Did you write the synthesizer parts to be purposely jangly and out of place? Music isn't supposed to set your nerves on edge, well, love songs aren't.
Blecchh!
You fell in love with his voice? That is sick. :lmao:
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I think we've listened to that song more than anyone at the DU.
An astute observation.
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You fell in love with his voice? That is sick. :lmao:
Shall I bitchslap you for being such a willfully obtuse twit, Mr Johnson? :tongue: :-)
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I broke down and went to the site . . . My cat clawed me, thinking that there was a hideous animal around that it would have to defend itself from. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
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Replies to Taverner's "taverne'd" up song:
Conservative Cave--54
Democrat Underground -- 0
:rofl:
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Replies to Taverner's "taverne'd" up song:
Conservative Cave--54
Democrat Underground -- 0
:rofl:
Uh, it's worse than that.
Who went to the Taverner primitive's campfire (to at least read it)?
89 on Skins's island
652 here.
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I refuse to listen to it. I have only so much hearing left, and I will sacrifice any of it for that asshole.
"Wool Mittens?" Knowing it's Taverner's creation, I will guess that the lyrics involve soaking a wool mitten in cod liver oil and using it as a sex toy.
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He lives in Oakland, CA. What else would he need wool mittens for?
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I refuse to listen to it. I have only so much hearing left, and I will sacrifice any of it for that asshole.
"Wool Mittens?" Knowing it's Taverner's creation, I will guess that the lyrics involve soaking a wool mitten in cod liver oil and using it as a sex toy.
:lmao: :rotf: :rofl: (Cutbacks, ya know?) H5!
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If California Peggy can't even muster up some encouragement, it MUST be bad.
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If California Peggy can't even muster up some encouragement, it MUST be bad.
It's appallingly bad. Unbelievably bad. Unimaginably bad. It's bad, mkay?
KC
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I didn't listen to it, but I'm confident it isn't worse than a CalPig poem.
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I didn't listen to it, but I'm confident it isn't worse than a CalPig poem.
It's a California Peggy poem put to music.
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Shall I bitchslap you for being such a willfully obtuse twit, Mr Johnson? :tongue: :-)
:rotf:
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I refuse to listen to it. I have only so much hearing left, and I will sacrifice any of it for that asshole.
"Wool Mittens?" Knowing it's Taverner's creation, I will guess that the lyrics involve soaking a wool mitten in cod liver oil and using it as a sex toy.
You won't know until you give it a listen. Wool Mittens
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It's a California Peggy poem put to music.
That was music? Sounded to me like some random notes played on random instruments.... by chimpanzees.
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That was music? Sounded to me like some random notes played on random instruments.... by chimpanzees.
Listen to it a few more times. :lmao:
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Listen to it a few more times. :lmao:
How 'bout I just tell you to ESAD instead?? :tongue: :tongue: :tongue:
:-) :-)
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How 'bout I just tell you to ESAD instead?? :tongue: :tongue: :tongue:
:-) :-)
:rofl:
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Listen to it a few more times. :lmao:
Then you should know that the instruments were played by chimpanzees, after that.