The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on January 30, 2013, 06:43:38 PM
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I was going to buy a copy of the Mona Lisa rendered completely in velcro but then I found out the guyy making it was a rip-off artist.
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I was going to buy a copy of the Mona Lisa rendered completely in velcro but then I found out the guyy making it was a rip-off artist.
bitchslap.
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bitchslap.
:rofl:
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Some guy kept butt-dialing me. I finally had to tell him, "Stop it! You don't see me calling your ass.!"
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Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
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What kind of shoes are made from bananas skins? Slippers.
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''Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.''—Mark Twain
''Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.''—Will Rogers
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I was going to join the debating team but someone talked me out of it.
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This is wrong, but true.
When I went to preach at the nursing home, I found the crowd's reaction to be quite dead.
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I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
Do no harm--but take no shit.
Do not fall in love with girls or their devil vagina magic.
You are somebody's reason to masturbate.
Sex is not the answer, sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
There's another word for "mother****er"--it's "dad".
My mother says hello. Hooray for speech therapy!
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a crowbar.
Some days it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
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They say cats always land on their feet. I say you just ain't throwing them right.
I got a watchdog and still got robbed. He watched them backing up the truck and he watched them drive away.
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I recently attended an symposium for people who like to sit naked on vinyl furniture.
I couldn't peel myself away.
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Times like this I wish I had listened to my mother.
Why, what did she say?
I don't know I wasn't listening.
I borrowed that from Douglas Adams.
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You are somebody's reason to masturbate.
That can be taken both as a bad thing, and as a good thing. :naughty:
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Some guy kept butt-dialing me. I finally had to tell him, "Stop it! You don't see me calling your ass.!"
That reminds me of an exchange I saw:
Person A: "Did you booty call me, or something?"
Person B: "Grandma! It's called butt-dialing!"
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Q: When do you kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
BS - That's not a one liner.
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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Life's a bitch, 'cause if it was a slut, it'd be easy.
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A now dead journalist always had the sweetest breath. He was Bennett Certs.
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A termite walked into a bar and said, "Is the bartender here?"