The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: BannedFromDU on January 15, 2013, 11:14:51 AM

Title: Question for lurking DU dudes
Post by: BannedFromDU on January 15, 2013, 11:14:51 AM

     If it wasn't obvious already, it is painfully so now that in order for a man to get any sort of street cred on DU, you have to profess to be a badass  (e.g., TiT, Deadstone, the old GhostintheMachine, and, candidly, Xultar), or you have to tithe your dick and nuts in the form of submission to the rape, gun, abortion, and SUV hysterics.

    My question is this: are you guys TRULY just out-and-out PUSSIES, or is your simpering supplication to the heifers and skanks of DU a clever ruse to get their legs in the air? I go back and forth (no pun intended) on this. 

    I suspect that DU is really sort of an eHarmony for moonbats - DUmmyHarmony, you might say. Instead of answering questions all at once, you guys build a profile over time with your posts and the chicks take their cues from that. Here's what the LynneSins of the world can infer from a typical male poster since December: you are ecstatic that 0bama won. Not only will you not shoot a woman, but you will eradicate all guns. You take a strong stance against rape, to the degree that you admit that you are capable of raping a woman at the drop of a hat because you are an evil male. You are ecstatic that your paycheck is lighter, even if that means you have to take her to a Motel 6 instead of a Marriott Courtyard.

   How many DUmmy chicks go for that? A lot, I reckon, save for CalPeg, of course, who has clearly devoted her meager feminine charms  (I'm not being age-ist; her feminine assets were always meager) to HollisinSonoma.

   Inquiring minds want to know, and in fact I believe I have uncovered a zen riddle: how does a DUmmy dude romance a DUmmy chick if he is required to submit his junk to her as tribute before the thing even gets off the ground?

   Maybe that's not a zen riddle. Maybe it's like the Girft of the Magi. The Gift of the DUmmi: "You took a weedwhacker and a pumice stone to your lady parts to get ready for me? Wow...I mailed in my cock and balls to $kinner to lay claim to your lady parts."



   
Title: Re: Question for lurking DU dudes
Post by: USA4ME on January 15, 2013, 12:02:05 PM
You know it's going to take a while for them to answer you seeing that what you said made them cry.

.
Title: Re: Question for lurking DU dudes
Post by: Karin on January 15, 2013, 12:23:50 PM
I don't want to try and imagine a DUmmie "hook-up." 
Title: Re: Question for lurking DU dudes
Post by: jukin on January 15, 2013, 12:49:42 PM
First, normal definitions of man and woman do not apply to DUmpnkeys.

Second, the thought of DUmmys hooking up brought a little bit of vomit in the back of my mouth.
Title: Re: Question for lurking DU dudes
Post by: Traveshamockery on January 15, 2013, 12:55:17 PM
Quote
DummyHarmony


 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Title: Re: Question for lurking DU dudes
Post by: Maxiest on January 15, 2013, 01:04:31 PM
You guys don't give Skammer any ideas for making more profit off these idiots.
Title: Re: Question for lurking DU dudes
Post by: BlueStateSaint on January 15, 2013, 01:06:16 PM
You guys don't give Skammer any ideas for making more profit off these idiots.

The less money they have remaining to spend, the better.
Title: Re: Question for lurking DU dudes
Post by: Gina on January 15, 2013, 01:55:43 PM
     If it wasn't obvious already, it is painfully so now that in order for a man to get any sort of street cred on DU, you have to profess to be a badass  (e.g., TiT, Deadstone, the old GhostintheMachine, and, candidly, Xultar), or you have to tithe your dick and nuts in the form of submission to the rape, gun, abortion, and SUV hysterics.

    My question is this: are you guys TRULY just out-and-out PUSSIES, or is your simpering supplication to the heifers and skanks of DU a clever ruse to get their legs in the air? I go back and forth (no pun intended) on this. 

 :lol: :lol: :lol:  :rotf:
Title: Re: Question for lurking DU dudes
Post by: Airwolf on January 15, 2013, 02:03:09 PM
Well there is at least one Dumpmonkey thats been trying that for years, SteveNumbers.
Title: Re: Question for lurking DU dudes
Post by: BEG on January 15, 2013, 04:14:01 PM
They are pussies.  If DUmmie men were the last men on earth I would just buy a rabbit.
Title: Re: Question for lurking DU dudes
Post by: Maxiest on January 15, 2013, 04:19:43 PM
They are pussies.  If DUmmie men were the last men on earth I would just buy a rabbit.

You know you want some of Taverner.   :naughty:
Title: Re: Question for lurking DU dudes
Post by: njpines on January 15, 2013, 04:20:39 PM
They are pussies.  If DUmmie men were the last men on earth I would just buy a rabbit.

Snugs will be thrilled!!
Title: Re: Question for lurking DU dudes
Post by: Randy on January 15, 2013, 04:28:48 PM
Snugs would be thrilled!!

So would Ptarmy!  :rofl: