The Conservative Cave

Current Events => Politics => Topic started by: Atomic Lib Smasher on January 15, 2008, 10:37:05 PM

Title: Fabulous Facts About John Edwards
Post by: Atomic Lib Smasher on January 15, 2008, 10:37:05 PM
I notice Da Saint Fan has the Fred Thompson facts in his sig, so I'll post some of Edwards.

(http://www.imao.us/archives/john%20edwards%20fabulous.jpg)

John Edwards always has the football game on, but only really watches it when the offensive line is bent over waiting for the snap.

John Edwards believes that "NFL" stands for "Nightly Fix of Lifetime".

Sequined fur coat, candelabra, Liberace CD's blaring - just another football Sunday at John Edwards's house.

John Edwards's least favorite part of the campaign trail? Bone-crushing handshakes from toddlers.

John Edwards's first action if elected President? Installing an all-Streisand karaoke machine on Air Force One.

Best part about becoming President for John Edwards? Writing "1600 Pennsylvania Avenue" on his Cosmo subscription renewal card.

John Edwards cant resist jumping into the flame wars on the "Downy vs. Snuggle" message boards.

John Edwards is banned from the First Response Home Pregnancy Test factory because his mere presence turns all of the test sticks pink.

In high school, John Edwards was regularly beaten up and had his lunch money stolen by Napoleon Dynamite.

John Edwards once tried to take candy from a baby. He spent the next month wearing oversized sunglasses and telling people he "walked into a door".



Title: Re: Fabulous Facts About John Edwards
Post by: Lord Undies on January 15, 2008, 11:23:08 PM
John Edwards sits down to pee and stands up to wipe.
Title: Re: Fabulous Facts About John Edwards
Post by: Happy Fun Ball on January 16, 2008, 07:19:57 AM
John Edwards' favorite war story is about his desperate childhood struggle against split ends.
Title: Re: Fabulous Facts About John Edwards
Post by: DixieBelle on January 16, 2008, 09:54:31 AM
LOL! I'm so stealing this.
Title: Re: Fabulous Facts About John Edwards
Post by: Lord Undies on January 16, 2008, 10:04:06 AM
Hair By Robere  reports John Edwards cried like a baby when he had that one hair on his ass waxed.