The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: bijou on May 29, 2008, 08:15:04 AM
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A tourist in Australia suffered greatly for going to the toilet at the roadside, when an extremely venomous snake bit him on the penis while he was attending to his business.
The man was caught short on the road in Queensland, resulting in him having to answer the call of nature close to Laura (that's a town in the northern tip of Queensland, not a woman).
But as he was crouching down beside the road, a brown snake – the venom of which is deadly – spotted an opportunity, slid between the man's legs and bit him on the penis.
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link (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=155147&in_page_id=2)
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life imitates punchline.
insert puns here.
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Brown snake vs. trouser snake....shit was bound to happen.
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life imitates punchline.
insert puns here.
Fangs for that, you could at least have tried to make a pun. :(
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life imitates punchline.
insert puns here.
Fangs for that, you could at least have tried to make a pun. :(
I honestly thought this thread would be on it's 5th page by now. :-)
I guess most guys had the same initial reaction I did; wincing, getting a bad case of the *shudders*, and clicking the back
button really, really quickly.
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This sounds like a cock & (bull)shit story.
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All I want to know is......did it swell up real big?
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Awww. Come ON PEOPLE! It's taking this long to wonder if he asked anyone to suck out the poison? :hammer:
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This sounds like a cock & (bull)shit story.
Did you read the other articles about the drunk getting his penis bitten by a small dog while urinating thru a fence or the other guy's penis being hit by lightning while riding his motorcycle? The picture of the snake is a boa rather than a brown snake which is non venomous. All of these incidents sound like a pile of horse manure.
This author is a real dickhead. :loser: :mental:
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Awww. Come ON PEOPLE! It's taking this long to wonder if he asked anyone to suck out the poison? :hammer:
that was the punchline I was thinking of; "Brother, you are gonna DIE". :rotf:
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If he survives, he's going to pee like a lawn sprinkler! :o
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The last paragraph is the winner:
The spokesman added that the man was 'a bit shocked and embarrassed' by the incident, and that he was 'lucky' to have escaped so lightly. Luck being a relative concept, obviously.
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A tourist in Australia suffered greatly for going to the toilet at the roadside, when an extremely venomous snake bit him on the penis while he was attending to his business.
The man was caught short on the road in Queensland, resulting in him having to answer the call of nature close to Laura (that's a town in the northern tip of Queensland, not a woman).
But as he was crouching down beside the road, a brown snake – the venom of which is deadly – spotted an opportunity, slid between the man's legs and bit him on the penis.
...
link (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=155147&in_page_id=2)
You're a real whiz with these threads, aint'cha? :-)
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Chuck Norris woulda used the snake to wipe his ass.
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Chuck Norris woulda used the snake to wipe his ass.
dammit, now I need a new keyboard
*wipes off monitor*
:rotf:
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Chuck Norris woulda used the snake to wipe his ass.
I'M with Lug, I got tears in my eyes. :lmao:
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Chuck Norris's penis would have wrestled the snake to the ground and killed it.
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Damn I needed the laugh!
Good God y'all are a crazy bunch!
:rotf: :thatsright: :lmao:
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Deadly Oz snake bites tourist's todger
Roadside toilet stop ends in embarrassment and hospital
By Lester Haines → More by this author
Published Thursday 29th May 2008 11:55 GMT
A tourist enjoying Australia's Queensland had a close brush with death when a deadly brown snake attacked his todger as he took a roadside toilet break, the The <a href="http://www.cairns.com.au/article/2008/05/29/4198_local-news.html>Cairns Post[/url] reports.
The unnamed victim was last month around 300km northwest of Cairns when he crouched down to relieve himself, at which point the venomous reptile "slithered between his legs and lunged at his manhood".
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/05/29/brown_snake_attack/
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:o :bolt:
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Next on OW! MY BALLS!
Hormel gets bitten by snakes!
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Oh ptarmy that was just... weird. :rotf:
All the rest of you... :lmao:
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Is that a snake in your trousers or do you li...nope. It's a snake.
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What? What's up with the Aussies and the roadside dumps? :p
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Is that a snake in your trousers or do you li...nope. It's a snake.
or do you ... what? :lmao:
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Is that a snake in your trousers or do you li...nope. It's a snake.
or do you ... what? :lmao:
shrank away, did he?
:lmao:
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What? What's up with the Aussies and the roadside dumps? :p
dupe, not dump.
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What? What's up with the Aussies and the roadside dumps? :p
dupe, not dump.
Ah... I thought I had heard this story somewhere before. Either that or daredevils are tempting fate.
I do like the word todger. :evillaugh: I may have to incorporate that into my vocab.
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What? What's up with the Aussies and the roadside dumps? :p
dupe, not dump.
Ah... I thought I had heard this story somewhere before. Either that or daredevils are tempting fate.
I do like the word todger. :evillaugh: I may have to incorporate that into my vocab.
You know bijou wouldn't miss a story like this. :-)
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Bubba and Cletus are out hunting one fine evening when a big snake rears out of the bushes and bites him on the "todger".
Cletus, being the smart type, gets on his cell and rings 911.
The 911 operator tells him , "look, you're gonna have to suck the poison out or your buddy's gonna die"
Cletus returns to Where Bubba is, and Bubba asks "What did they say, What can you do"
Cletus looks him square and says "you're gonna die"
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What? What's up with the Aussies and the roadside dumps? :p
dupe, not dump.
Ah... I thought I had heard this story somewhere before. Either that or daredevils are tempting fate.
I do like the word todger. :evillaugh: I may have to incorporate that into my vocab.
You know bijou wouldn't miss a story like this. :-)
She must be on the "Terrible-Things-That-Happens-To-Todgers" ping list. :lmao:
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Merged
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Merged
In much the same way as the snake and the penis. :-)
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I do not have a penis, but even I winced when it was merged.... :lmao:
Oh, damn, Bijou beat me to the punch!
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Merged
In much the same way as the snake and the penis. :-)
Chuckleheads :hammer: :-)