The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on October 13, 2012, 05:58:07 PM
-
http://www.democraticunderground.com/11144418
Oh my.
Bonobo (18,152 posts) Sat Oct 6, 2012, 08:24 PM
I know a woman who hugs without asking all the time.
In fact, even the first time I met her, she turned down a handshake, saying "I don't do handshakes, I do hugs".
She acts like bestowing a hug on people is a gift. She doesn't seem to care if it is wanted or not. Is she "taking" a hug because she enjoys it, or is she "bestowing a hug" because she thinks it is desirable to receive her hug.
Lots of women think seem to assume that their physical contact is some kind of prize to be doled out.
They often do not ask for permission. I was reminded of this when I read the post about the WW2 photo.
I suppose someone will tell me it does not matter if they force this kind of unwanted physical touching because there is no threat of physical force as is the case when a man does it. This may or may not be true, but I think the idea that women tend, more then me, to think they are offering a desirable gift is suggestive as the difference and one of the problems inherent in the male-female power dynamic.
Yep, yep, yep; that's one of franksolich's bete noires too.
Don't nobody touch franksolich until he knows who the Hell you are.
However, I do get my revenge. Due to a flawed body-thermostat, hugging franksolich is like hugging an ice-cube, and it does shock people. I suppose that's some small consolation.
caraher (2,889 posts) Sun Oct 7, 2012, 10:00 AM
1. There are also men who hug
Certainly someone who insists on hugging the reluctant rather than accepting a handshake is making it all about their own personal preference at the expense of the comfort of someone else. There should be respect for the wishes of the other person. I've seen both men and women do this, though certainly more women than men.
But I don't lose sleep over this any more that I ever did over that nurse in the photo from the end of WWII. And having a few rogue serial huggers around isn't all bad - some people who could use that human contact but would never initiate it themselves probably do benefit from it.
I'm sure it does get old quickly, though, if you run across a compulsive hugger like that and are uncomfortable with that much physical contact.
4th law of robotics (5,671 posts) Sun Oct 7, 2012, 11:20 AM
2. Rape culture
that's why she thinks this is acceptable. Movies, television, etc all show that this is acceptable behavior. That a man's body isn't his own and that men really like to be assaulted in this way (if they struggle you just have to hold on harder, they really like it).
Why ask for permission? Men exist in a perpetual state of "yes".
Any sort of physical, spoken, or visual interaction should require explicit consent from both individuals plus a witness before it can proceed.
Everything else is assault or worse.
MadrasT (4,425 posts) Sun Oct 7, 2012, 06:37 PM
3. I hate huggers who don't ask.
Male or female. It isn't right to hug without permission.
I agree with everything you wrote.
4th law of robotics (5,671 posts) Mon Oct 8, 2012, 10:09 AM
4. Would you consider it sexual assault?
NYC_SKP (44,019 posts) Sat Oct 13, 2012, 09:42 AM
6. No, but it is the definition of harassment.
I completed a mandatory periodic training just yesterday.
Unwanted and repeated touching or hugging is harassment.
Touch the naughty bits, even once, it might be assault.
4th law of robotics (5,671 posts) Sat Oct 13, 2012, 01:15 PM
7. I have a feeling man would have a hard time pressing charges against a female hugger.
Major Nikon (6,286 posts) Thu Oct 11, 2012, 09:24 AM
5. I work with a woman who calls me honey and darling
She knows fully well that I'm a manager that investigates sexual harassment complaints. There is no sexual intent, so I'm not offended by it. I've actually investigated a few workplace huggers with two very different results. Some do it with a clear sexual intent which is clearly wrong and we will take necessary corrective action in those instances. Others do it for cultural reasons which doesn't result in discipline.
Some people just don't like to be touched by people they are not intimate with and there's nothing wrong with that, but most people accept it when there is no sexual intent, even if they don't initiate it themselves. I can't agree that all unsolicited hugs are wrong unless someone is clear about their objection to it and the person does it anyway, but I do understand why some people think otherwise.
-
My Mom's a hugger, I'm not unless I know you well enough.
-
My Mom's a hugger, I'm not unless I know you well enough.
That's the way to be.
<<is cold to huggers who I don't know.
-
LOL, in my family, we hug. You find that out pretty quick if you find yourself in a relationship with one of us.
-
That's the way to be.
<<is cold to huggers who I don't know.
I was upset when a stranger say a waitress called me Honey or Hun. Got a bit techie when called Dear by strangers.
Then when I went into Nursing I found myself doing the same toward the patients. Progression, I soon found myself hugging and perhaps holding the hand of a patient, for me this was very odd.
People I have found crave the human touch, the hand shake, the pat on the back, or a pat on the head. A stranger lending their arm to help someone go down stairs or cross a street.
Comes down to human contact, we know how important this is to baby's and children, but we over look the Adult need for this.
Hugging is a communication from one human to another that they are valued and excepted, part of the Wolfe pack one can say.
I never held hands in public with anyone but my kids until when I met my Hubby. He insisted on it and I felt foolish, two middle aged people holding hands in any public place. He upped it a notch at work, as he started work half an hour before me he would come over give me a kiss and tell me to be careful. After 20 years the other workers got use to this ritual he had made. If I had the day off my coworkers both men and woman would blow kisses at him, it was a hoot for any new worker to watch. WTF ?????
-
That's all fine, vesta, dear, but one's going to suffer frostbite if one dares touch franksolich too intimately when I don't know who the Hell they are; their full name, their address, their occupation, their driving record, their credit report, their family tree, and their motives.
<<has been hugged too many times by people whose motives were not pure.
-
My Mom's a hugger, I'm not unless I know you well enough.
I'm not a hugger unless its my husband or my kids. Sometimes I hug my mom. My mother-in-law is a huge hugger and its a long hug. I was uncomfortable with it at first (because my mom never was a hugger) but over the years I started to realize that that was the way she showed she liked you. I still don't like how long she hugs but I'm not put off by it anymore.
-
LOL, in my family, we hug. You find that out pretty quick if you find yourself in a relationship with one of us.
Yep, my family too. My Husband isn't a big hugger, especially with men, but my family is very huggy with each other, and even the men hug each other, my Husband was in shock the 1st time my male cousin hugged him LOL.
-
I'm not a hugger unless its my husband or my kids. Sometimes I hug my mom. My mother-in-law is a huge hugger and its a long hug. I was uncomfortable with it at first (because my mom never was a hugger) but over the years I started to realize that that was the way she showed she liked you. I still don't like how long she hugs but I'm not put off by it anymore.
I think because I was hugged all the time I never felt the need to look for it.
-
We are a very affectionate in our family. With people I don't know very well, I hold back.......
-
Not big into stranger-touching, at all. Not hugs, handshakes, pats on the back.. Nothing. I don't even like sitting next to strangers at movies or other arena events. Its an even bigger problem if I can smell the stranger - not just bad smells either - people who heavily use perfumed soaps, deodorant, and detergents annoy me as much as reeking of BO and hamburger grease.
Its probably because I view most of humanity with distrust and contempt. However, once I know you, that will change. Either for better or worse- but it will change.
-
Not big into stranger-touching, at all. Not hugs, handshakes, pats on the back.
With strangers, I can handle a quick hand-shake or a split-second buss on the cheek by a woman, but any more than that, no.
I think the confusion starts in the minds of strangers who haven't met me before when they see other people actually grabbing, holding onto, groping, me. But it doesn't occur to them that these are people I know, not strangers, and they're doing it to ensure I know what's going on.
-
If I ever got to meet you guys at a meetup I'd probably hug all of you, heck I'd even hug some DU people because I feel like I know you LOL.
-
If I ever got to meet you guys at a meetup I'd probably hug all of you, heck I'd even hug some DU people because I feel like I know you LOL.
Well, after reading you for years, I believe I know you - so, that would be fine with me.
Many people may hide behind facades on anonymous message boards such as these, but after so long, one starts to understand a person through the words they choose, the stories they tell, and the secrets they share. Personally, I am exactly the person I write as - even if you found my posts on other boards, dedicated to other topics, you would probably be able to pick what I have written out of a bunch of messages in a thread. So, whatever you or anyone else thinks of me, I probably am.
-
If I ever got to meet you guys at a meetup I'd probably hug all of you, heck I'd even hug some DU people because I feel like I know you LOL.
Oh I know I would hug you, it wouldn't be an oddly long hug though. :wink:
-
Oh I know I would hug you, it wouldn't be an oddly long hug though. :wink:
:lmao:
I might touch your hair though, just to see if it's as silky as it looks in the pics LOL.
-
Well, after reading you for years, I believe I know you - so, that would be fine with me.
Many people may hide behind facades on anonymous message boards such as these, but after so long, one starts to understand a person through the words they choose, the stories they tell, and the secrets they share. Personally, I am exactly the person I write as - even if you found my posts on other boards, dedicated to other topics, you would probably be able to pick what I have written out of a bunch of messages in a thread. So, whatever you or anyone else thinks of me, I probably am.
I'm extremely excitable and like most Italians I talk with my hands.
-
Attractive women can hug me.
-
:lmao:
I might touch your hair though, just to see if it's as silky as it looks in the pics LOL.
You can touch me anywhere you want. :naughty:
-
You can touch me anywhere you want. :naughty:
:lmao:
-
Wow.
That went right by me; thanks to whichever other moderator or administrator caught it.
We apparently had a quickie visit by a primitive from, of all places, Adel, Georgia, or nearabouts; down in southern Georgia near the border with Florida. I have no idea who that would've been.
But thanks to whoever caught it.
-
I'm extremely excitable and like most Italians I talk with my hands.
I pace. A lot. Its as if I need to be moving to be talking. It drives the missus insane. Though, I will stay put if handed a Rubik's Cube that I can repeatedly solve then scramble.
-
My Mom's a hugger, I'm not unless I know you well enough
I'm not a hugger. My mom is, my sister is....some female friends are, the "just friends"
I did hug my father once as an adult. It ended up being one of the last times I seen him alive. I will never forget that hug. He died 18 months later as my parents traveled to see the nation in an RV.
When in LTRs I hug of course, but not just everyday friends.... I have became more used to hugs. I went to a church once, they were hugging everyone.
I don't remember my mom's mother being a hugger, or her dad...maybe that is why she is....not sure. Maybe it skips a generation. I just don't think I always need to say I love you or hug someone to show that I care about them...if all their bills are paid, meals are handed to them in bed when they are sick, isn't that better then simply saying "I love you?"
I dated a couple ladies that were really clingly. It was so bad they would freak out if I did not hold thier hands when I was folding my clothes. :thatsright:
-
I'm not a hugger unless its my husband or my kids. Sometimes I hug my mom. My mother-in-law is a huge hugger and its a long hug. I was uncomfortable with it at first (because my mom never was a hugger) but over the years I started to realize that that was the way she showed she liked you. I still don't like how long she hugs but I'm not put off by it anymore.
If I know someone is a long hugger, I try to face the television. :-)
-
If I know someone is a long hugger, I try to face the television. :-)
:banghead: my Husband does that if the hug goes on too long.
-
I was upset when a stranger say a waitress called me Honey or Hun.
Guess you haven't spent any time in Baltimore, then. Everyone here uses 'hon'-checker at the Wal-Mart, waitress at any given restaurant, guy who fixes your cars or appliances. If you've lived in Maryland and haven't been asked 'You goin' downy ocean, hon?' then you haven't really lived here.
-
:banghead: my Husband does that if the hug goes on too long.
:lmao:
-
My mother, who lives in an apartment attached to my house, once was on a kick in which she said she missed my dad hugging her every day and she loved me and wished I would hug her more.
It did not work.
If I go a week without seeing her she gets a quick hug...(I had to really work up to that point...like I said, I'm not a hugger...)
I might sound cold hearted but my mom has avoided going to a long term care home due to sacrifices I made in my life....that is worth a million hugs. I put my life on hold so she is able to have the best care any mother can have. I take care of my mom and I send my married sister (who is now also a full time student) money...I am too tired to be ****ing hugging people... :lmao:
-
Awesome Rob!
BTW, men never seem to grow up, my Husband thinks noogies are a sign of affection.
-
Guess you haven't spent any time in Baltimore, then. Everyone here uses 'hon'-checker at the Wal-Mart, waitress at any given restaurant, guy who fixes your cars or appliances. If you've lived in Maryland and haven't been asked 'You goin' downy ocean, hon?' then you haven't really lived here.
I have customers and coworkers that call people hun of both sexes. It's habit.
I am not offended if an 80 year old lady says "thanks sweetie" Older customers have no problem when one of my older cashiers tell them "you have a nice day dear" they appreciate it.
We have people that migrate to our area to retire in the warmer climate. No worries, no law suits, no cops in the bushes, or in our case, tumbleweeds.....
-
I hug people when I get really excited to see them. No asking here. I just run up and give them a hug. No hugs for strangers though, because that's just weird.
-
I hug people when I get really excited to see them. No asking here. I just run up and give them a hug. No hugs for strangers though, because that's just weird.
If you did that to me, that wouldn't bother me at all. O-) :-) :tongue:
-
Not much of a hugger except for "Toots", my daughter, and granddaughters. I do tend to call cashiers of the female persuasion dear or cutie. Never had a complaint. Most consider it a compliment.
Have been known to give my pals a bear hug, but I don't think that's what y'all are discussin' here. It tends to be painful for the receiver, doncha know!
-
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vFdj-s08UJQ[/youtube]
Elizabeth Laird, known as "The Hug Lady," by the soldiers at Ft. Hood, attends every single deployment and homecoming at the army base with one purpose: to hug every soldier going to or returning from war.
-
She's adorable!
-
If I ever got to meet you guys at a meetup I'd probably hug all of you, heck I'd even hug some DU people because I feel like I know you LOL.
We can be the errant huggers ie me too lol
-
Guess you haven't spent any time in Baltimore, then. Everyone here uses 'hon'-checker at the Wal-Mart, waitress at any given restaurant, guy who fixes your cars or appliances. If you've lived in Maryland and haven't been asked 'You goin' downy ocean, hon?' then you haven't really lived here.
This is why I love you vivis mom:). Good ole Bal'more Merlin experience!!
-
LOL, in my family, we hug. You find that out pretty quick if you find yourself in a relationship with one of us.
Same here.
-
Not much of a hugger except for "Toots", my daughter, and granddaughters. I do tend to call cashiers of the female persuasion dear or cutie. Never had a complaint. Most consider it a compliment.
I always call the younger ones sweetie. Never had a complaint... and if I did I would ask them "Is it OK if I call you bitch, then?" :fuelfire: :fuelfire:
:-)
-
Anyone who hugs a stranger actually wants a pat on the ass.
-
Anyone who hugs a stranger actually wants a pat on the ass.
Ooooooo, that'd get yer ass kicked with some of the women I know!
-
Textbook example of an unwanted hug:
(http://i1146.photobucket.com/albums/o528/dummieland/fattest.jpg)
-
I always call the younger ones sweetie. Never had a complaint... and if I did I would ask them "Is it OK if I call you bitch, then?" :fuelfire: :fuelfire:
:-)
I've noticed that the much older black woman in our area will say, "Hi there baby doll!" or something to that extent. They like to use "baby" in their greetings. It doesn't matter if they are talking to someone my age or to a child. It threw me off at first, but it has turned into a norm around here.
-
I would hug everyone of you!!! Cause you are all the sweetest people I know...
-
I would hug everyone of you!!! Cause you are all the sweetest people I know...
Been accused of a lot of things, sweet is not one of them, cutie.
-
I've noticed that the much older black woman in our area will say, "Hi there baby doll!" or something to that extent. They like to use "baby" in their greetings. It doesn't matter if they are talking to someone my age or to a child. It threw me off at first, but it has turned into a norm around here.
I've been called sugar , sweetie , honey, baby etc
Been told to "sit your white ass down and eat something" and " just plant your damn Yankee butt in that chair and be quiet" :hyper:
-
I've been called sugar , sweetie , honey, baby etc
Been told to "sit your white ass down and eat something" and " just plant your damn Yankee butt in that chair and be quiet" :hyper:
Heh! Most words used to describe me are in the four letter category!
-
Heh! Most words used to describe me are in the four letter category!
Been called a few my self. For the world of me I don't know why O-)
-
Heh! Most words used to describe me are in the four letter category!
Heh! I consider that a compliment from what I am usually called. :-) :-)
-
Heh! I consider that a compliment from what I am usually called. :-) :-)
We should start a club! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
-
We should start a club! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
-
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vFdj-s08UJQ[/youtube]
Elizabeth Laird, known as "The Hug Lady," by the soldiers at Ft. Hood, attends every single deployment and homecoming at the army base with one purpose: to hug every soldier going to or returning from war.
That brought a tear to my eye, everyone should know about "The Huge Lady".
-
That brought a tear to my eye, everyone should know about "The Huge Lady".
Regardless the time of day be it 2 PM or 3 AM she has been there for every departure/Arrival except for a few while she was tending to her eldest daughters family upon her death. She went from burying her husband at the The Texas Veterans Memorial Cemetery to hug some departing/arrival soldiers.
-
Regardless the time of day be it 2 PM or 3 AM she has been there for every departure/Arrival except for a few while she was tending to her eldest daughters family upon her death. She went from burying her husband at the The Texas Veterans Memorial Cemetery to hug some departing/arrival soldiers.
That's nothin' short of amazing!
-
Not much of a hugger except for "Toots", my daughter, and granddaughters. I do tend to call cashiers of the female persuasion dear or cutie. Never had a complaint. Most consider it a compliment.
Have been known to give my pals a bear hug, but I don't think that's what y'all are discussin' here. It tends to be painful for the receiver, doncha know!
I do have friends of about 35 years that I hug every year when I visit. It comes natural.
-
Not a hugger unless I know you pretty well. Women who want to hug me though, I'll make an exception. I'm flexible like that.
4th law of robotics (5,671 posts) Sun Oct 7, 2012, 11:20 AM
2. Rape culture
that's why she thinks this is acceptable. Movies, television, etc all show that this is acceptable behavior. That a man's body isn't his own and that men really like to be assaulted in this way (if they struggle you just have to hold on harder, they really like it).
Why ask for permission? Men exist in a perpetual state of "yes".
Any sort of physical, spoken, or visual interaction should require explicit consent from both individuals plus a witness before it can proceed.
Everything else is assault or worse.
If one of you primitives went to hug me, I'd require you sign a waiver stating that you will pay for anything I need up to an including: Soap, peroxide, scrubbies, slighly acidic cleaners, doctor bills, or battery acid before doing so.
I don't consider it rape if a normal person (excludes DU members) hugs me, but I will kinda shove/sluff you off if I isn't in the mood.
-
Not a hugger unless I know you pretty well. Women who want to hug me though, I'll make an exception. I'm flexible like that.
If one of you primitives went to hug me, I'd require you sign a waiver stating that you will pay for anything I need up to an including: Soap, peroxide, scrubbies, slighly acidic cleaners, doctor bills, or battery acid before doing so.
I don't consider it rape if a normal person (excludes DU members) hugs me, but I will kinda shove/sluff you off if I isn't in the mood.
i will make note of that....
-
You're all good, Sea. I'd let you hug me any day of the week. Even Saturday. :) Sunday's a no can do though. It's football day. :rotf: I do a lot of stuff for prep.
-
I come from a very hands-off family. I can shake hands because it is a normal thing to do but I don't liked to be hugged at all unless it's coming from a very close friend. My gf's mother is a serial hugger, it really taxes my patience to spend time with her.
-
If I know someone is a long hugger, I try to face the television. :-)
:lmao:
Unfortunately, there never seems to be one in the room at the time.
-
If one of you primitives went to hug me, I'd require you sign a waiver stating that you will pay for anything I need up to an including: Soap, peroxide, scrubbies, slighly acidic cleaners, doctor bills, or battery acid before doing so.I don't consider it rape if a normal person (excludes DU members) hugs me, but I will kinda shove/sluff you off if I isn't in the mood.
:lol:
-
It doesn't bother me one way or the other, and it especially doesn't bother me if it's a pretty woman. However, I find it ironic that DUmmie bonobo posted that, since such behavior is pretty much an archetype of bonobo behavior.
-
[youtube=425,350]jd4tugPM83c[/youtube]
-
I dunno. I never gave it much thought. I hug some of my close friends, I probably don't hug as much as I should. What I absolutely loathe is a crappy handshake. A weak one, or a sweaty palm one. That is so ooky. It's more the exception than the rule now, a good handshake. That sucks.
-
I dunno. I never gave it much thought. I hug some of my close friends, I probably don't hug as much as I should. What I absolutely loathe is a crappy handshake. A weak one, or a sweaty palm one. That is so ooky. It's more the exception than the rule now, a good handshake. That sucks.
My Daddy always taught me ya could figure out a guy's character by his handshake. I've found it to be pretty accurate. I get complaints I grip a little hard, but that's the way I was taught.
-
My Daddy always taught me ya could figure out a guy's character by his handshake. I've found it to be pretty accurate. I get complaints I grip a little hard, but that's the way I was taught.
My Dad and Granddad too. Funny, most of the wimpy handshakes come from guys. Do guys change their handshakes when they shake a girl's hand?
-
My Dad and Granddad too. Funny, most of the wimpy handshakes come from guys. Do guys change their handshakes when they shake a girl's hand?
Generations------I taught my sons to wait to offer his hand for a hand shake from a female. The female may not want to touch him, if she offers then fine.
Along these lines I find some men especially in business get surprised when a woman holds our her hand, it is like they expect this behavior from a male, but seldom a woman.
Hubby does not trust the Glad Hand men that will shake hands with the devil. Those that he has just met that slap him on the shoulder or what not ,he cringes from.
Me, if I have not seen someone in awhile and they male or female come over and give me a hug then I know they are a true friend and I don't smell bad.
-
I come from a very hands-off family. I can shake hands because it is a normal thing to do but I don't liked to be hugged at all unless it's coming from a very close friend. My gf's mother is a serial hugger, it really taxes my patience to spend time with her.
Me too -- unless it's the guy I love, I'm afraid I'm a bit stiff if someone grabs me for a hug. The dog and cat get squished by me though :-).
-
Me too -- unless it's the guy I love, I'm afraid I'm a bit stiff if someone grabs me for a hug. The dog and cat get squished by me though :-).
I get in the floor every night for hugs from my Bassets. They are a little low to the ground, heh, heh!
-
I love hugging my wife, She smells really, really good. :hyper:
besides, I can cop a feel.......... :naughty:
-
I love hugging my wife, She smells really, really good. :hyper:
besides, I can cop a feel.......... :naughty:
Hell of a good idea! "Toots" is gettin new tits after goin' thru a mastectomy! Doc says they'll stand up on their own! Gonna be a little touchy at first, I would think.
-
Do guys change their handshakes when they shake a girl's hand?
Of course they do, if they're considerate of the woman.
Most women have much smaller, slimmer hands than men.
-
My Daddy always taught me ya could figure out a guy's character by his handshake. I've found it to be pretty accurate. I get complaints I grip a little hard, but that's the way I was taught.
I have heard that a handshake is a note of sinceretty. Some people say i have a very strong handshake..that and direct eye contact...
-
Of course they do, if they're considerate of the woman.
Most women have much smaller, slimmer hands than men.
Don't tell "Toots" that. I'm pretty sure she would disagree. She does have smaller more petite hands, but she's got a helluva grip.
-
My wife almost kicked my ass once because a well-endowed waitress asked me if everything was okay, and stupid me said yes. Based on that encounter I assume that I'd have important parts removed in my sleep if I went around hugging women so I keep my hands to myself. If a woman tries to hug me and I can't avoid it I do the quick back pat and I'm out of there.
-
My wife almost kicked my ass once because a well-endowed waitress asked me if everything was okay, and stupid me said yes. Based on that encounter I assume that I'd have important parts removed in my sleep if I went around hugging women so I keep my hands to myself. If a woman tries to hug me and I can't avoid it I do the quick back pat and I'm out of there.
"Toots" doesn't seem to mind as long as I don't linger, heh! Especially the women I have worked with. The cashiers didn't call me "Cup Cake" for nuthin' at Home Depot, heh! At first it really fried her, but she came to understand it was nothing more than innocent affection.
-
Hotties get the "standing straight up hug" to maximize physical contact. Fuglies and grandmotherly types get the "stooped over, mostly arms and shoulders hug". People who I don't particularly like get the "one-armed half-hug". All of them are tweaked according to the situation.
Yes, I have it down to a science. :-)
-
Where would say...Revolution be on that list? :naughty:
-
My mom was a super hugger, but she was such a nice person no one seemed to mind. Once she was dropping me off at the airport, and ran right up and hugged two of the San Antonio Spurs players she saw in the waiting lobby area. They had to top her by 2 feet. I was in my early 20's and back then it kinda embarassed me when she never seemed to worry about other people's reactions to what she did. She also talked all the time with her hands.
The shoe is on the other foot; Mom is long gone and still and forevermore deeply mourned, but I do the hand talking and sometimes hug perfect strangers. Those tend to be people I get into conversations with at the checkout line, or at the vet or doctor; when they've shared some bad news with me. Nine times out of ten I think I helped make them feel better for a second or two, but what the heck do I know? I'm no shrink; I do know alot of people don't appreciate physical gestures, but I'm a pushy broad and if there's a chance I WILL make them feel better, I'll take that chance.
Life is too short to not show our love for family and friends no matter how we treat strangers. Although, seriously, some people out there could use a lesson in returning a greeting, or a smile, even if the giver is a stranger!
And I call everyone hon, or sweetie; if nothing else it's saved my bacon a time or three when I've encountered a casual acquaintance whose name I can't recall. :-)
-
Oh now, I've never cared what other people have called me--and yes, they've called me "honey" or "dear" or "sweetie" or "cutie" before, believe it or not, in addition to some less-flattering names. That's just talk, no harm done.
But before anybody under the age of 80 decides to tackle me as if we're supposed to be making out right then and there, I need to know their name, address, family background, place of employment, and at least ten character references.
Otherwise, they're likely to find they jumped on top of a 176-pound iceburg.
Too bad.
-
My Dad and Granddad too. Funny, most of the wimpy handshakes come from guys. Do guys change their handshakes when they shake a girl's hand?
I have to. Most people say I have "stone mitts". My wife can't believe how strong my hands are. Comes from being a mechanic most of my life.
-
I have to. Most people say I have "stone mitts". My wife can't believe how strong my hands are. Comes from being a mechanic most of my life.
Yeah mine comes from swingin' a claw hammer for 30 years. I get comments all the time on the size of my forearms. I'm a mere shadow of my former self but still have arms larger than most.
-
I have to. Most people say I have "stone mitts". My wife can't believe how strong my hands are. Comes from being a mechanic most of my life.
My Dad taught me how to shake my hand, he thought it was important. I'd say it's firm. I hate it when I go to shake a guy's hand, and their shake is less firm than mine. Up until this thread I never considered that they might be modifying it. How bout dat?
-
My mom was a super hugger, but she was such a nice person no one seemed to mind. Once she was dropping me off at the airport, and ran right up and hugged two of the San Antonio Spurs players she saw in the waiting lobby area. They had to top her by 2 feet. I was in my early 20's and back then it kinda embarassed me when she never seemed to worry about other people's reactions to what she did. She also talked all the time with her hands.
The shoe is on the other foot; Mom is long gone and still and forevermore deeply mourned, but I do the hand talking and sometimes hug perfect strangers. Those tend to be people I get into conversations with at the checkout line, or at the vet or doctor; when they've shared some bad news with me. Nine times out of ten I think I helped make them feel better for a second or two, but what the heck do I know? I'm no shrink; I do know alot of people don't appreciate physical gestures, but I'm a pushy broad and if there's a chance I WILL make them feel better, I'll take that chance.
Life is too short to not show our love for family and friends no matter how we treat strangers. Although, seriously, some people out there could use a lesson in returning a greeting, or a smile, even if the giver is a stranger!
And I call everyone hon, or sweetie; if nothing else it's saved my bacon a time or three when I've encountered a casual acquaintance whose name I can't recall. :-)
We could be related Boo!!
I'm a hugger and a hand talker, too.
My family have told me if they tied my hands behind my back, I would be unable to talk. They've threatened to do it too.... :whistling:
I'm a quick hugger and not a full body one unless it's with family. But with friends it's a quick front hug more around the shoulders or a side hug with one arm around their back and a quick squeeze, upon greeting or leaving them. Maybe it's a southern thing.
I've been known to do a quickie hug, too, to a stranger who has just told me something sad - like illness, loss of family member, etc.
But I can also be extremely stand-offish if someone invades my space without me feeling comfortable.
When I met Chris and Euph...they got hugs. :-)
-
My Dad taught me how to shake my hand, he thought it was important. I'd say it's firm. I hate it when I go to shake a guy's hand, and their shake is less firm than mine. Up until this thread I never considered that they might be modifying it. How bout dat?
Well, I won't make it a "wet noodle" but I will back off a hair. That said, I've had more guys cringe than ladies. Of course I give give a "real" handshake with the guys.
-
Well, I won't make it a "wet noodle" but I will back off a hair. That said, I've had more guys cringe than ladies. Of course I give give a "real" handshake with the guys.
Nuttin' worse than shakin' a limp wrist. I automatically figure they're a DemonRat or Gay. Conservatives know that a firm handshake is as good as your word, so it's always firm.
-
Nuttin' worse than shakin' a limp wrist. I automatically figure they're a DemonRat or Gay. Conservatives know that a firm handshake is as good as your word, so it's always firm.
I hate when someone shakes your hand by just doing the little hold thing on the fingers. It's bad enough when a woman does it, but when a man does it, it's weird.
-
I hate when someone shakes your hand by just doing the little hold thing on the fingers. It's bad enough when a woman does it, but when a man does it, it's weird.
I'm okay with a woman doing that if she has no idea who I am; it's just common sense.
I can't recall if a man's ever done it, though.
-
I'm okay with a woman doing that if she has no idea who I am; it's just common sense.
I can't recall if a man's ever done it, though.
I was taught to do the firm full handshake thing and to look someone in the eye when speaking with them. Also, when meeting an older woman, to never hold my hand out first, to wait for her to hold hers out. And to hold mine out first to a man.
-
I was taught to do the firm full handshake thing and to look someone in the eye when speaking with them. Also, when meeting an older woman, to never hold my hand out first, to wait for her to hold hers out. And to hold mine out first to a man.
Those of course are good rules, but not every woman has the confidence you do, madam, and one doesn't want to frighten.
-
Those of course are good rules, but not every woman has the confidence you do, madam, and one doesn't want to frighten.
Trust me, it's not confidence...it was just the way I was brought up. Not doing it "properly" created negative responses from the parent. After so many years of being proper, it becomes habit.
When my kids were little, I started with the "...look at me when I am speaking to you." They learned early to do the same to others.
-
Those of course are good rules, but not every woman has the confidence you do, madam, and one doesn't want to frighten.
You can frighten me anytime Deb.
Trust me, it's not confidence...it was just the way I was brought up. Not doing it "properly" created negative responses from the parent. After so many years of being proper, it becomes habit.
When my kids were little, I started with the "...look at me when I am speaking to you." They learned early to do the same to others.
If I had a dollar for every time a parent told me that.........................
-
Oh now, I've never cared what other people have called me--and yes, they've called me "honey" or "dear" or "sweetie" or "cutie" before, believe it or not, in addition to some less-flattering names. That's just talk, no harm done.
But before anybody under the age of 80 decides to tackle me as if we're supposed to be making out right then and there, I need to know their name, address, family background, place of employment, and at least ten character references.
Otherwise, they're likely to find they jumped on top of a 176-pound iceburg.
Too bad.
:lmao: BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! :-)
-
We could be related Boo!!
I'm a hugger and a hand talker, too.
My family have told me if they tied my hands behind my back, I would be unable to talk. They've threatened to do it too.... :whistling:
I'm a quick hugger and not a full body one unless it's with family. But with friends it's a quick front hug more around the shoulders or a side hug with one arm around their back and a quick squeeze, upon greeting or leaving them. Maybe it's a southern thing.
I've been known to do a quickie hug, too, to a stranger who has just told me something sad - like illness, loss of family member, etc.
But I can also be extremely stand-offish if someone invades my space without me feeling comfortable.
When I met Chris and Euph...they got hugs. :-)
Bet Chris and Euph didn't get ur chocolate though!
As for the stand offis part, yeah, I get that way also if the person crowding my space is someone I don't like; I tend to make snap decisions about tho se sorts of things and rarely have cause to change my mind upon further acquaintance. There's relatives in my life like that, so it's not like I limit my stand offishness to strangers.
My family was happy when cell phones became popular since I used to trail the phone cord behind me and make them trip from time to time. :whistling:
I'm sure we are related, deb, somewhere along the way. :cheersmate:
-
After all this neck surgery stuff and impingement my hands are shot. No more firm handshakes from me for a while.
By the time I get home from work both arms are numb and my hands are tingling due to issues in my neck.
On vacation I could not even open a beer! On the rare occasion I drink, I could not open the damn thing.
-
I was taught to do the firm full handshake thing and to look someone in the eye when speaking with them. Also, when meeting an older woman, to never hold my hand out first, to wait for her to hold hers out. And to hold mine out first to a man.
That is exactly how I was taught as well. :cheersmate:
-
Textbook example of an unwanted hug:
(http://i1146.photobucket.com/albums/o528/dummieland/fattest.jpg)
That one earned you a high 5!
-
Yeah mine comes from swingin' a claw hammer for 30 years. I get comments all the time on the size of my forearms. I'm a mere shadow of my former self but still have arms larger than most.
(http://cdn.ifanboy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/popeye.jpg)
-
Hugs: I give and get The Hug of Manliness (traditional Biker hug)* with male friends, fellow Bikers, and brother Veterans (there is a lot of overlap between the three groups.) With the wimminz, it's a full-on two-breasted hug, or it's nothin'! Add a little one handed butt-cup and squeeze for my real wimmin friends.
Handshakes: With men, it's The Handshake of Manliness. With a woman it's a gentler version of The Handshake of Manliness, the handshake that will make her ovaries tingle.
And, ladies: this Dog likes to be petted. :-)
(http://ak.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/894958/preview/stock-footage-woman-petting-dog.jpg)
*"Soul Brother" handshake with right hand, left arm hug and single squeeze with hands still clasped.
-
I still say that any woman who hugs a stranger wants a pat on the ass.
Unfortunately, most of those huggers are women you don't want to pat.
-
Hugs: I give and get The Hug of Manliness (traditional Biker hug)* with male friends, fellow Bikers, and brother Veterans (there is a lot of overlap between the three groups.) With the wimminz, it's a full-on two-breasted hug, or it's nothin'! Add a little one handed butt-cup and squeeze for my real wimmin friends.
Handshakes: With men, it's The Handshake of Manliness. With a woman it's a gentler version of The Handshake of Manliness, the handshake that will make her ovaries tingle.
And, ladies: this Dog likes to be petted. :-)
(http://ak.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/894958/preview/stock-footage-woman-petting-dog.jpg)
I would LOVE to pet the dog!!! :wink:
*"Soul Brother" handshake with right hand, left arm hug and single squeeze with hands still clasped.