The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: dandi on October 05, 2012, 04:12:54 PM
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I start out with the DUmmies' excuses and then add a few of my own. Feel free to add yours:
Top Excuses For Romney Winning The First Debate
Obama had altitude sickness.
Lehrer didn't moderate fairly.
Romney was hyped up on mind-expanding drugs.
Romney had crib sheets to cheat off of (cleverly disguised as a handkerchief, flashed in front of millions of viewers and plopped down sneakily on top of his podium)
Obama meant to lose - it was Rope-A-Dopeâ„¢
Obama meant to lose - it was 24-Dimensional Chessâ„¢
Barry depressed and anxious over the "special sex" expected of him by the First Wookie on their anniversary night.
O' busy figuring out how to cook the unemployment numbers over the next two days.
Rove!
President became distracted over thought of life without Big Bird.
Diebold!
Spent most of debate trying to remember Osam Bin Laden's name - Pissed because he didn't get to use it.
Performance anxiety over producing a repeat of Chrissy's leg tingle.
Kept wondering how to say "God damn America!" without offending anyone.
Completely befuddled being away from Slick and Sparky, his two pet teleprompters he adopted five years ago.
Tried to be as exciting and energetic as Al Gore, but just couldn't pull it off.
No Greek columns allowed on stage.
After consulting with Bill Clinton, only question he studied for was, "Boxers or briefs?"
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"Special sex" :rofl:
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Obama is worried about upcoming story investigating illegal donations from other countries.
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Obama got some bad choom.
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Bush!
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"Special sex" :rofl:
clearly its just vaginal hubris
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clearly its just vaginal hubris
On whose part?
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It was altitude.
I've played golf a few times in Mexico City, and afterward I sure didn't feel like a debate. Altitude gets you.
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It was altitude.
I've played golf a few times in Mexico City, and afterward I sure didn't feel like a debate. Altitude gets you.
Yep whenever I go skiing all day long at high altitude, I don't feel like debating either. Especially after a few apres ski Mexican Coffees.
For lurkers: Romney won because he tops 0bama by at least 65 IQ points, has accomplished real deeds on his own, and didn't use his race to gain special admissions to certain levels of society.
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Obama lost because he got a memo just before the debate that Hugo Chavez is behind in the polls.
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He lost because someone was eating a hot dog before the debate and he got a craving for... a dachsund
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He lost because someone was eating a hot dog before the debate and he got a craving for... a dachsund
A dog in every pot.....
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To me, the most interesting exchange in the debate was left hanging.
The muslim trotted out that standard democrat bullshit about the tax code rewarding companies for moving jobs overseas.
Romney said that after 25 years in business, he didn't know what the muslim was talking about.
He said that maybe he needed to get better accountants.
The muslim just kept looking down with a smirk on his face, and did not say a word.
I thought surely we'd hear the democrat side of that later, but if we did, I missed it.
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Sorry but you missed the most important one for the DUmmies:
The Joooooooooooooooooooooooooooooos.
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It was Bush's fault.
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He forgot his teleprompter at home.
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The primitives are never, never going to admit the real reason Romney won.
Romney won because he's the better candidate, period.
Nothing more than that.
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Sorry but you missed the most important one for the DUmmies:
The Joooooooooooooooooooooooooooooos.
. Dangit that's what I was going to say
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To me, the most interesting exchange in the debate was left hanging.
The muslim trotted out that standard democrat bullshit about the tax code rewarding companies for moving jobs overseas.
Romney said that after 25 years in business, he didn't know what the muslim was talking about.
He said that maybe he needed to get better accountants.
The muslim just kept looking down with a smirk on his face, and did not say a word.
I thought surely we'd hear the democrat side of that later, but if we did, I missed it.
Obama suffered from Attitude sickness.
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Because Obama is black. (This excuse came from a leftist)
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(http://www.smalldeadanimals.com/ObamaDebateNotes.jpg)
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LIHOP or chemtrails.