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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on September 09, 2012, 02:57:47 PM

Title: primitives being cheap bastards for Christmas.....again
Post by: franksolich on September 09, 2012, 02:57:47 PM
http://www.democraticunderground.com/115714152

Oh my.

Every year since I've been entertained by the cooking and baking primitives, they light up a campfire about what Christmas presents they're going to make for family and friends, because they're too tight to spend some money for presents.

Home-made goodies are Christmas "treats," a frivolity, a small thing or token, an extra, a finishing touch; things that one spends money on are Christmas presents.  There's a difference.

So help me, it was either last year, or the year before, that some primitive boasted about eating oranges, and then using the peels to make Christmas "presents."

Tightwads, the primitives.

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FarPoint (1,550 posts)  Sun Sep 9, 2012, 02:08 PM

Anyone planning to make, bake or create homemade Christmas gifts this year?

I am in the planning stage to do just that with a sampler style basket as the gift.....

First off; I'm making vanilla extract as a gift. Going to use 4 oz. bottles. I just ordered 100 Madagascar vanilla beans for the brew. They should be here September 17th . I will make a batch immediately so I have 3 months for it to set.

Not sure exactly what else to prepare...thinking about pepper jam, apple butter, strawberry-pear butter, crackers.

Let me hear your ideas.

Now, admittedly franksolich's Christmas present of choice--gifts he gets from others--happens to be bags of cat litter*--I'd be insulted getting a little bottle of home-made vanilla extract.

*cat litter, because the "gift" isn't so much the cat litter, but rather that I won't have to go out in a raging blizzard to get more if I run out 

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Arkansas Granny (13,367 posts)  Sun Sep 9, 2012, 02:49 PM

1. It looks like it's going to be a decent year for pecans, so we'll be making spiced nuts this year. We've also thought about fixing cookie and brownie mix in a jar to put in gift baskets this year along with the baked g*****s and candies that we usually make.

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FarPoint (1,550 posts)  Sun Sep 9, 2012, 02:58 PM

2. I totally forgot all about nuts for a gift.

Great idea! Spiced or candied...y***y!

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pinto (94,711 posts)  Sun Sep 9, 2012, 03:30 PM

3. Banana bread loaves with Medjool dates, yogurt and a honey/cinnamon glaze is the plan...

follow through remains to be seen. I'm going to do a trial run with the family at Thanksgiving.

One wonders what the hippywife primitive Mrs. Alfred Packer might make for Christmas treats.

Oh, wait.....
Title: Re: primitives being cheap bastards for Christmas.....again
Post by: Bad Dog on September 09, 2012, 03:01:53 PM
I'm making dust pans for everyone.
Title: Re: primitives being cheap bastards for Christmas.....again
Post by: franksolich on September 09, 2012, 06:08:52 PM
Quote from: Bad Dog on September 09, 2012, 03:01:53 PM
I'm making dust pans for everyone.

Out of empty milk cartons, I assume.

Good one.
Title: Re: primitives being cheap bastards for Christmas.....again
Post by: Freeper on September 09, 2012, 06:09:25 PM
Quote from: Bad Dog on September 09, 2012, 03:01:53 PM
I'm making dust pans for everyone.

Me too!
I plan on going by the grocery store and asking for the free milk cartons. They can keep the milk.
Title: Re: primitives being cheap bastards for Christmas.....again
Post by: JohnnyReb on September 09, 2012, 06:25:42 PM
I just found the perfect gift for the DUmmies.... a 5 gallon bucket full of 3 year old pecans....they should be so rank by now even the squirrels won't touch them.
Title: Re: primitives being cheap bastards for Christmas.....again
Post by: Boudicca on September 09, 2012, 08:45:56 PM
Wonder how many of them will be raiding their local food pantry for the ingredients, then hiring their local unemployed illegal to do the actual work that Americans* won't do?

*Lazy liberal dummies
Title: Re: primitives being cheap bastards for Christmas.....again
Post by: obumazombie on September 09, 2012, 08:47:53 PM
What about a hailfall measuring gauge ? It could be constructed out of a free milk carton.
Title: Re: primitives being cheap bastards for Christmas.....again
Post by: Karin on September 10, 2012, 09:32:53 AM
Oh!  I remember what fun we had with the candied-orange-peels-as-presents thread!  We were dreaming up all kinds of things we could pull out of the garbage pail and pickle or candy.  You could make a creche out of old chicken bones, for instance.   :lmao:
Title: Re: primitives being cheap bastards for Christmas.....again
Post by: Linda on September 10, 2012, 10:53:15 AM
Why are they making Christmas gifts for something they don't believe in?
Title: Re: primitives being cheap bastards for Christmas.....again
Post by: miskie on September 10, 2012, 10:59:06 AM
Quote from: obumazombie on September 09, 2012, 08:47:53 PM
What about a hailfall measuring gauge ? It could be constructed out of a free milk carton.

They could make milk carton Christmas wreaths !

(http://whipup.net/wp-content/images/2011/11/Milk-Carton-Wreath-Completed-Michele-Made-Me.jpg)

Or 'gingerbread' houses !

(http://www.inhabitots.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/cookie-houses.jpg)

Or fancy gift boxes !

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_J3PM1cNaWQU/TJLuVQjf2KI/AAAAAAAACwI/OKalXqEZzWs/s1600/Reindeer+Carton.jpg)

Title: Re: primitives being cheap bastards for Christmas.....again
Post by: JohnnyReb on September 10, 2012, 11:50:13 AM
Quote from: Linda on September 10, 2012, 10:53:15 AM
Why are they making Christmas gifts for something they don't believe in?

It's the winter soltice DUmmie barter system....I'll trade you this cut up milk carton for that new sweater.
Title: Re: primitives being cheap bastards for Christmas.....again
Post by: Karin on September 10, 2012, 01:01:40 PM
Well, kpete has made a wedding dress out of re-used plastic grocery bags.  This is the truth, not a joke. 
Title: Re: primitives being cheap bastards for Christmas.....again
Post by: shadeaux on September 10, 2012, 01:51:10 PM
Chocolate covered fruit peelings are the bestest.   :rofl:
Title: Re: primitives being cheap bastards for Christmas.....again
Post by: franksolich on September 10, 2012, 02:22:30 PM
Quote from: Karin on September 10, 2012, 09:32:53 AM
Oh!  I remember what fun we had with the candied-orange-peels-as-presents thread!  We were dreaming up all kinds of things we could pull out of the garbage pail and pickle or candy.  You could make a creche out of old chicken bones, for instance.   :lmao:

Here's one of them, from November 19, 2009:

"primitives being tightwads, making Christmas presents instead of buying them"

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,36832.0.html

I had no idea there was something such as "homemade Kahlua."

By the way, there's a lot of hilarious primitive Christmas threads in the archives; I might figure out some way to incorporate the classic ones into the nominating-and-voting for the Top DUmmies of 2012, as that takes place during the Christmas season.  But it's early yet; I'll think about it.

- - - - - - - - - -

And also by the way, I'm not disparaging decent and civilized people who make presents to give away to others at Christmas.  One has to use one "standard" when evaluating decent and civilized people, and the primitive "standard" when evaluating primitives.

Decent and civilized people might choose to give home-made presents for a variety of noble or commonsensical reasons--maybe they're really good at making something, frugality, distaste for shopping crowds, it's what the recipient wants, &c., &c., &c.

But primitives choose to give home-made presents for base reasons only, usually because they're tight.
Title: Re: primitives being cheap bastards for Christmas.....again
Post by: Ballygrl on September 10, 2012, 03:53:11 PM
Quote from: Bad Dog on September 09, 2012, 03:01:53 PM
I'm making dust pans for everyone.

:lmao:
Title: Re: primitives being cheap bastards for Christmas.....again
Post by: obumazombie on September 10, 2012, 05:34:37 PM
Quote from: miskie on September 10, 2012, 10:59:06 AM
They could make milk carton Christmas wreaths !

(http://whipup.net/wp-content/images/2011/11/Milk-Carton-Wreath-Completed-Michele-Made-Me.jpg)

Or 'gingerbread' houses !

(http://www.inhabitots.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/cookie-houses.jpg)

Or fancy gift boxes !

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_J3PM1cNaWQU/TJLuVQjf2KI/AAAAAAAACwI/OKalXqEZzWs/s1600/Reindeer+Carton.jpg)



Your idea as a vast improvement over mine, but how will nadin measure hail with any of those beautiful creations ?