The Conservative Cave
Current Events => Breaking News => Topic started by: Tess Anderson on May 22, 2008, 11:54:53 PM
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???
I didn't even know this was possible:
Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways.
"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said.
"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.
"I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."
He added: "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."
Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men.
But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.
enough, rest: link (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2000899/Man-admits-'having-sex'-with-1,000-cars.html)
And apparently, he's dead serious here - he should think about relocating to CA, illegally or not, marrying "Vanilla" (he could cheat with the helicopters on the side), and filing suit in the court system there.
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"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall ..."
A little? Farkin' fruitcake!
Ugh! He's from Washington state originally.
:confused: Humor me.
How is this physically possible other than :jerkit: on it?
I have a sure cure for this idiot.
All he needs to do is slam the car door on his pecker, once.
Sick, depraved behavior cured!
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My first read was him having sex 1k times in the car not with his car. :mental: s
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Don't people sometimes...you know...with the tailpipes of cars? Don't ask how I know that. What a freak. :mental:
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Don't people sometimes...you know...with the tailpipes of cars? Don't ask how I know that. What a freak. :mental:
Having sex with the tailpipe ?That sounds like a good way to burn your 'willie' !
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Don't people sometimes...you know...with the tailpipes of cars? Don't ask how I know that. What a freak. :mental:
Having sex with the tailpipe ?That sounds like a good way to burn your 'willie' !
Wouldn't that be rather exhausting? :-)
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Depravity has no limit does it. yuck...and yes, sir, you are 'sick'...during your sexual development you somehow made that connection to vehicles much like a serial killer makes that connection to violence or torture...You aren't hurting anyone but you are still a fruitcake, buddy.
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Don't people sometimes...you know...with the tailpipes of cars? Don't ask how I know that. What a freak. :mental:
Having sex with the tailpipe ?That sounds like a good way to burn your 'willie' !
Wouldn't that be rather exhausting? :-)
Yeah, and if you practice safe sex, you might burn rubber.
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Depravity has no limit does it. yuck...and yes, sir, you are 'sick'...during your sexual development you somehow made that connection to vehicles much like a serial killer makes that connection to violence or torture...You aren't hurting anyone but you are still a fruitcake, buddy.
In the book 'Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask '.There is a guy with a sexual thing for pumpernickle bread loves !
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[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmQPQ9DJchc[/youtube]
Ummm...yeah... :thatsright:
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Don't people sometimes...you know...with the tailpipes of cars? Don't ask how I know that. What a freak. :mental:
Having sex with the tailpipe ?That sounds like a good way to burn your 'willie' !
Wouldn't that be rather exhausting? :-)
Yeah, and if you practice safe sex, you might burn rubber.
...or strip your gears. :o
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Lordy...who'da thunk that at my age I would be getting sex education on a conservative political web site?? alligators...cars...can't wait for the next one...LOL
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Remember, kids: when you have sex with a car, it's like you're having sex with every other person who had sex with that car before you.
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Depravity has no limit does it. yuck...and yes, sir, you are 'sick'...during your sexual development you somehow made that connection to vehicles much like a serial killer makes that connection to violence or torture...You aren't hurting anyone but you are still a fruitcake, buddy.
In the book 'Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask '.There is a guy with a sexual thing for pumpernickle bread loves !
Ugh! just why? lol..I mean was their a loaf near by during those crucial developmental moments? Did he complete himself in the kitchen with the pumpernickel in his line of site. Really... :thatsright:
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[youtube=425,350]bQD3maK3-1c[/youtube]
:-)
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I bet he needs a lube job! ::)
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Talk about fulfilling Ones Car-nal Desires.. :innocent: (+ 1)
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Talk about fulfilling Ones Car-nal Desires.. :innocent: (+ 1)
:rimshot: